Hard Times in Happilyeverafter

by W Kangas

Alicia gave more directions. “Quarter wheel right, like I do.”

  She continued. “You put your butt in; you take your butt out; you put your butt in and you shake it all about. Now quarter wheel right and another quarter wheel right and we go right out the door.”

  Alisia and her crew slipped out to the next vault, and she called back, “Practice that and it might help you. We will be back for the humans. Don’t drink them.”

  Alisia saw no signs of the half-baked cartoons, and the group continued to the next room where they heard a sly voice say, “Who are you, and how would I cook you to get the best flavor?” Suddenly there were two, large, green eyes piercing the darkness but focused on the explorers.

  “All you creatures down here think of nothing but eating one another,” said Alisia.

  “If you can start to be a little respectful, I’ll give you a chance to live. Not much of a chance but it’s worth trying.”

  “Can we light up the room so we can see with whom we are dealing?”

  “If the light is not too bright.”

  “Lizards, not too bright,” said Alisia, as they licked some salt from her legs. After licking her skin, they started their soft glow and somewhat lighting the room.

  There, ten feet from her, was the evilest-looking face she’d ever seen. Its green eyes focused, while smoke from its nostrils made them all shiver. It had an alligator-shaped head and teeth that could rip them apart while it looked at them with anger. But it was infinitely more sinister than a common beast. Alisia was startled and had a time finding words to keep the conversation going.

  “I’ll bet you just fry your food with your breath most of the time,” suggested Alisia.

  “It is a quick way to make a meal. I could have you ready to serve to my son in a matter of minutes, but it chars the flesh and ruins the flavor. And besides, I don’t want to eat someone who could help rid the cave of a terrible monster.”

  “Why don’t you just burn the monster?” asked Alisia.

  “I can’t get close enough because of its long, powerful tail. The thing made it known to me that I would be too tough to eat, but my son would be delectable. It has already tried to steal him from me, so I have to live as far from it as I can.”

  “That is all you creatures think about down here is who is going to eat whom.”

  “I’d rather be the eater than the one being eaten, which brings me right to your case. Why should I not barbeque you right now?”

  “Because me and my troops are going to restart the magical stream and get the warm glow back into the cave. If we fail, it is because we died trying.”

  “You think you can beat the monster when I have to run from it. The glow is finished everywhere, and nothing on this earth that I know of can take down this creature. Maybe if you tell me where I can get some shellfish,” proclaimed the dragonette, “I won’t eat you, as I prefer the clams over you. Or if you tell me where I can get some jewels, I might use them to live in a warm place where food is plentiful.”

  “We have no jewels.”

  “I don’t really want the jewels per se, but more what the jewels bring to the table, and you are already at our table,” said the creature hissing.

  “There we are again, right back to eating,” said Alisia.

  “I can stop you from hearing my desires if you wish.”

  “I want to know how to tell this monster from others,” said Alisia, hoping to get the dragons help.

  “It comes at first with clothes that cover most of its body, and it seems to glide along like floating on air. There are three colors to look for, if you have enough courage. Greenish blue, greenish red, and green on green are the creature’s colors. When it feels you are inferior, it will drop the clothes to let you see its long, powerful tail and its three heads that join on one body. It also brags about its poisonous bites, and I assume any one of the heads can bite you.”

  “We just want to start the magical stream again. Who cares how terrible it is, if the thing stays down here in these caves,” said Alisia, hoping to get the dragon’s help again.

  “That’s not nice what you say, because this has been my home for many years.”

  “Where did it come from?”

  “That was not told to me by any one of the heads. But you can’t fix the magical stream without killing it first, because it holds a sacred part of the stream in pouches around each head. Something you don’t know about the magical stream is that it is somehow alive, and when these sparkly crystals were taken by the little man who came to shut it down, he did just that. He shut it down and the cave went dark and cold.

  “But the creature is sly and it coaxed him into giving the sparkles to it. The dumb little man did what it wanted and ruined everything for everybody. I heard the monster say it likes to inflict pain. By inflicting pain, it shows that it is the leader of everything. I, on the other hand, just want to eat and am not here to cause pain as I make my meals quick and easy. Do you know where I can find some shellfish, or will I have to eat you and the lizards, not to mention the bug in your hair?”

  “Why don’t you help us beat this thing, whatever it is?”

  “It is a deadly Trident is what it calls itself, and it is interested in eating my son, so there is no way I can get near it. And if I could find somewhere to put my son while I helped you, it could kill me. And then my son would probably die without his mother. You are on your own, but I would wish you well if I thought you had any chance at all of beating the three-headed giant snake.

  “I’ve just decided you can go on with your efforts, because this cave is terrible now with the cold coming so quickly. If by some miracle you can best this Trident, I will be in your debt for the rest of my life. But leave quickly before I change my mind, because we are hungry.”

  Alisia’s small party continued to work its way deeper into the cold, dark cave, taking directions from Bella as she watched ahead of them. It would be too dangerous to let the lizards light the way, so they dealt with the darkness.

  Back at Happilyeverafter, the professor was deep in the hole he had helped to dig. Star had to get next to the crater just to see his head. The other girls had quit digging when they saw how fast Honeydew was making progress.

  “Girls,” he soon yelled, “my feet broke through a layer and I’m standing knee deep in water.”

  “Give him the urn, Giggles, so we can test its strength. Professor, how much water would you say is down there?” asked Star.

  “There is plenty here for a week, I’m guessing,” said Honeydew. “You know I first thought this was a stupid idea, but now if this water still holds the properties, it could save their lives.”

  “We’re going to give everyone a glassful and see if that stirs them,” said Star.

  “We’re going for some urns and glasses,” called Mona.

  They soon were back with a strange bunch of large vessels, that included coffee pots, and gave them one at a time to Star who handed them down to the professor.

  “Girls, drink a glass and see if it helps you,” said Sister, wanting some herself to feel better.

  “I feel better instantly,” said Mona downing a full glass. “Look, some of my crepey skin is getting smooth.”

  “Go to the mayor first, Mona. Maybe there is a chance to get him on his feet. Sister, will you go to give the prisoners some while we tend to the citizens?”

  “I will help them, for they will be in pain,” said Sister.

  Humpty was unconscious when Mona got there, so she dribbled some water on his lips. His eyes soon opened, and he licked his lips.

  “Drink this,” said Mona.

  The mayor reached for the bottom of the glass and drank the water and said, “I feel lots better. I would try to stand, but I think I would crack.”

  “Do you want me to rub some water on your shell?” asked Mona.

  “Let’s see if it helps,” said Humpty. Mona rubbed some of the water all over his shell and Humpty said, “It’s much better; I think I’m going to try to
stand.”

  Mona helped him to his feet and said, “I need to help you to your house. It’s going to get much colder out here soon, and we have to work to get everyone inside.”

  “We dug up the well, mayor, and found a pool of water below it.”

  “You girls are like angels; we would have perished if you hadn’t come. Help me, and help my loving Dimples,” said Humpty with his arm around Mona.

  They headed to Humpty’s house with his spirits high. When they got to Humpty’s house, it seemed to be just in the nick of time to save his wife, who was in a coma with cracks running down her shell. They rubbed the cracks with water and continued to put drops on her lips, while the mayor moved to a chair with his head in his hands.

  “Please don’t give up, Dimples,” he kept muttering.

  After some fine treatment, Star and Fashion came and got Dimples to open her eyes. Dimples was given a couple of glasses of water that changed her appearance right in front of their eyes.

  Mona went to get another pitcher of water and came back with a concerned voice. She didn’t want to scare the mayor’s wife so she held her tongue ’til Star got back outside.

  “Feel the cold,” said Mona. “Now, look at that dark clouds coming this way. I’ve seen it so many times before that I know it’s going to start snowing soon.”

  “We need to hustle and make sure we have everyone inside,” Star said to Fashion.

  Sister was now at the cave where the prisoners lay under heavy blankets. “I’m here with water,” said Sister, walking into the mostly dark cave.

  “Please, have some good water this time. We are suffering,” said the man in the first bed.

  “What is your name?” asked Sister, trying to be like a nurse and take his mind off his troubles.

  “I’m Bingo,” said the man in a wavering voice.

  “Okay, Bingo, where do you want your water?” asked Sister, seeing nothing but a blanket.

  “Stick it just under the blanket by my hand. Do you see where it wiggles?”

  He took the glass close to his hand and pulled it up to his mouth and drank it. “I want another,” he said.

  “I will have to come back to give you another. I only have enough for one glass if everyone gets a drink, Bingo.”

  She went to the next patient and asked, “What is your name?”

  A voice said, “Deano,” in a tired way.

  “Do you want your water by your hand, just under the blanket?”

  “Yes, please; you are angels.”

  The girls were able to work all day taking the citizens to their homes. The Big Bad Wolf was lying face down in the grass when it came his turn for some water. His mouth was open and his tongue lay on the ground when Charming tried to turn him over.

  “Come, help me, Giggles,” Charming called to her.

  They both rolled him over, and his tongue fell to the side of his face.

  “Is he dead?” asked Giggles.

  “Take his pulse,” said Charming.

  “Why don’t we just pour a little water on his tongue?” suggested Giggles.

  “Good idea,” said Charming. She grabbed her pitcher and poured some water right on his white-looking tongue. It instantly turned red and the wolf opened his eyes.

  “Which one of you hit me in the head?” asked the wolf, sitting up.

  “No one hit you in the head.”

  “I got a big lump on my head, and I think you did it,” said the wolf looking at Giggles.

  “Would I, a frail little girl, pick on such a strong creature as yourself Mr. Big Bad Wolf?” asked Giggles with a slight giggle.

  “I don’t know. I’m not thinking right,” said Big Bad.

  “No, you were unconscious from the lack of magic water.”

  “Are you sure you didn’t hit me on the head with a rolling pin?”

  “You must have had a dream when you fell face down on the ground. Here, drink the rest of this water, and we will help you to your lair.”

  The wolf drank the water and felt his body recharge.

  “Now, let’s get you home, because it’s going to get much colder” said Charming.

  They helped him home, then went to help Chicken Little who was close by lying in the grass and one of the last to be collected and taken to their homes.

  They poured water on Chicken Little’s beak, and he became conscious. “The sky did fall, didn’t it?”

  “No, Chicken, the magic water ran out for a while, and we had to dig underground to find a new supply. Now we have to get you home because of a new threat, and that is some cold weather coming this way. We’ll get you comfortable and then look for anyone else we have missed.”

  “Don’t forget the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe and her kids. They were out in the meadow tending the sheep. I’ll bet they are all lying in the grass,” said Chicken Little.

  “Thanks, Chicken, we’ll go looking for them,” said Charming. They walked Chicken Little home while the nip in the air continued to get worse.

  Then they took to the meadow where the Old Woman liked to graze her sheep. Each sheep had its own name, but only the family could tell them apart, so they knew they were close by when they saw the sheep grazing next to the foot of one of the snowcapped mountains. But on closer inspection, the boys and girls were lying all over the grass with the furry sheep walking all around them, getting their stomachs so full they were getting round at the belly.

  The boys and girls were young before the water crunch, but now they were old men and women and quite older than anyone they had saved so far.

  “You know what, they haven’t had any water since this whole problem started,” said Giggles. “I sure hope we can revive them. It would be a shame to lose these buggers.”

  “Oh, no,” said Charming, “That means the Old Woman is probably up here somewhere, and she might have passed for sure, because she was much older than her children. You should go get the other girls to help us if we are going to beat the snow from covering them.”

  Just as Charming said those words, the snow started falling in big flakes. “Hurry, Giggles. I’ll try to revive them with this water while you’re gone, but make sure you bring more.”

  Giggles couldn’t run, but she could walk fast, and she started for the fountain.

  “Star,” she called as Mona and Star were resting on the fountain drinking some of the water.

  “Hey,” said Giggles to Star, “I thought we weren’t going to drink any more water because it’s getting low again.”

  “We were getting to the point of exhaustion, and it was either drink the water or fall to the ground ourselves. Besides, we haven’t had any food to speak of since we got here. So, come and have a drink before you tell us what you were going to say, Giggles.”

  Giggles took the water handed to her and drank it, then looked at the well, which had gone down considerably. “We need to walk up to the high meadow with lots of water or the Old Woman and her kids will die of old age before they are covered by snow. You would not believe how old the kids look right now, and we haven’t found the Old Woman yet but she should be up there if she’s not already bones.”

  Tired, but feeling like they were getting somewhere, the actresses, each with a jug of water, climbed the meadow to help the family. They came to the first kid down in the meadow with sheep walking all around him. He looked to be at least 120 years old, but his chest still went up and down taking breaths.

  Star took her jug and spilled some on his lips, then slowly poured some onto his wrinkled skin. He soon showed signs of being alert and held up his hand for a drink from the pot. After guzzling the remaining water, he seemed to take on a different look, like an older person who put on thick makeup but surely not young.

  He was soon able to stand and said, “Please help my sisters and brothers and hopefully my mother, who we all love dearly.”

  There was no joking this time as he helped the leading ladies find and hydrate his loved ones with the partially magic water. But the mother was
not quickly found and on close inspection of the meadow, she had tried to get to the fountain to bring back water to her kids. She was now curled in a ball, like an animal trying to keep warm, but surprisingly not looking any older than her kids and in her hand, she still held a jug to bring water for them.

  Alisia was so worried about her part in stopping this big disaster. How could she overcome a three-headed snake if a small but powerful dragon didn’t have a chance? For the first time, she felt she couldn’t do a thing to help what was going on about the fountain. She couldn’t just quit, because she gave her word, but more than that, she took the gold coin for her father, who was in his own pickle before this happened.

  I know I’m being a little selfish, but I would like to walk right out of here, she thought. She heard a trickle of water and thought, Let’s get a drink for my followers.

  They all lapped up some water that wasn’t even enough to cup in Alisia’s hands but made a tiny stream that seemed to follow the cave wall and seemed to go into another room.

  “This tiny stream has to be headed for a bigger stream, so if we follow it, maybe we can find the magical stream and somehow avoid this snake creature. And who knows, maybe we can get the stream flowing again and leave in a hurry. That is my plan and the only one I can think of if this snake can scare a small dragon. So, I ask you my friends, what is an average little girl like me going to do against a monster?”

  “Maybe you are not giving yourself enough credit,” said Bella. “I can see where you would be scared, having to deal with such a beast. So, what are you going to do when you see it? I think we should make some plans.”

  “We are going to run faster than it, I hope, and when we leave it behind, we are going to hide. As a matter of fact, if it comes to get one of us or has found the hiding place for one or more, the others should set up a diversion to give the trapped ones time to retreat. Can we agree on helping one another like that, if it’s needed?”

  “We will help,” said the lizards.

  “I’m glad you said yes, because I’m the one it is most likely to chase,” said Alisia.

  “Why would you say that?” asked Bella.