Rise (Hold Book 4)

by Claire Kent

  “No one thinks it’s crazy,” Hall said. His green eyes were uncharacteristically sober.

  Lenna met Desh’s eyes and gave him a little nod. She was sitting in a chair near the window.

  Talia could feel Desh relax slightly. Clearly his friends’ opinions meant something to him. “Good,” he said. “I’m glad.”

  “You’re going to need help,” Hall added.

  “I know.” Desh shifted slightly, although he hadn’t let go of Talia’s hand. “That’s my first step. I need to… see how much support there is.”

  “And it never occurred to you to first see what support you had right here?” Hall’s voice was mild, uninflected.

  Desh frowned. “I know you all will give me moral support, but what else—”

  “What else?” Hall interrupted. “You’re really asking us that? You know what I can do, right?”

  “Yes,” Desh said slowly “I know.”

  Talia only knew what he was talking about because he’d explained it to her this morning. Hall was some kind of empath who could sense other people’s emotions when he touched them and even turn those feelings around, easing pain and anxiety or creating feelings that weren’t there.

  “And you can’t think of any use that gift could be to you, given what you’re trying to do?” Hall had arched his eyebrows very slightly.

  Desh blinked. “Sure, it might be useful, but you live here, and we’re going to have to be traveling around, and—”

  “And I’m not capable of traveling too?”

  Desh’s hand clenched harder around Talia’s, but his face was perfectly composed. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying you need me. You’re going to need to know very quickly who you can trust, and I’ll be able to tell you that. You need me. So I’m going with you.”

  “What? No!” Desh’s expression was visibly upset, shocked. “I would never ask you to—”

  “You don’t seem to understand what it is you’re going to be doing. You have to ask people to help you. And you have to let them when they offer.” If anything, Hall looked faintly amused. “You’re never going to get anywhere if you don’t.”

  “But you all are safe here.” Desh looked from Hall to Kyla, who was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table. “You’re happy. I don’t know how long this is going to take. You’d leave Kyla indefinitely like that?”

  “No. Of course not. I’d never leave her behind. Kyla is going to come too.”

  “I can’t help like Hall can,” Kyla said softly. “I don’t have his gift. But I’m sure there’s something I can do to help.”

  “But… but you’ll have to give up your life, for who knows how long.” Desh was searching the other faces in the room and holding Talia’s hand very tightly. “You have a good life here. Your vineyard. I’d never ask you to give all that up. You’d just… Why would you leave?”

  “Sometimes it’s enough. To live well, to love deeply, to shape something good, something beautiful, even if the rest of the world isn’t what it should be.” Hall was speaking softly, and his eyes dropped to the glass of wine in his hand. Wine he’d made with his own hands. “Sometimes that’s enough to answer what’s wrong in the world. But sometimes it’s not.” He looked up to meet Desh’s eyes. “Sometimes you have to do more. Sometimes you have to rise up and meet it.”

  The words lingered in the silence of the kitchen for a long time, and they made shivers run up and down Talia’s spine.

  Hall continued, “I know that’s what you and Talia are trying to do. You have to let Kyla and I do it too.”

  Desh swallowed so hard she could see it in his throat. Then he gave a brief nod. “Thank you. I will need your help, so I’ll take it.”

  Turning his head, Desh met Talia’s eyes. She gave him a little smile, feeling emotional, almost teary.

  She didn’t know these people the way Desh did, but even she could feel the ache of what they’d be leaving behind.

  “You’re going to need more than Hall before it’s all over,” Lenna said from where she was sitting.

  Desh stiffened. “Don’t even think of trying to come too,” he said. He glanced out the window where Rone was playing with the children in the yard. “After everything that happened to you and Rone, you can’t…”

  Lenna gave a little shrug and a smile that was slightly wobbly. “No. I’m not coming with you right away. But I’m a pilot. A good one. And you’re going to need good pilots before the end. You know you will.”

  Desh nodded very slowly.

  “So when you need me, I’ll be there.”

  “Lenna, I wish you wouldn’t. You need more time to settle. It’s safe here, and—”

  “And how long do you think it’s going to stay safe here?” Lenna broke in. “You think they’ll never get around to this planet? They destroyed our old world. They took that away from us. Not even to be cruel. They did it just because they could. And that was too wrong. You know it was too wrong.” She looked back out the window at her husband, who was laughing and tossing their little boy up into the air.

  He looked happy right now, but Talia could only imagine what he’d been through.

  Talia had to wipe away a tear, and she saw Kyla doing the same thing.

  Desh’s voice was rough and broken as he said, “I know it was. I know, Lenna.”

  “So I can’t just hide away anymore. I’m not going to—not if there’s something else I can do. You and Talia have made a choice in this, and you have to let the rest of us make a choice too. It’s going to be a while—probably years—but I’ll be ready for whenever you need me. I’m a good pilot. Cain is too. And there isn’t a better mechanic than Cain.”

  Everyone turned to look at Cain, who was sitting next to his wife at the kitchen table with an utterly stoic expression. At Lenna’s words, he gave a brief nod.

  Desh’s mouth twisted. “I do need help. I know I do. And later I’m sure what we’ll need is pilots. But I hate for you all to leave your homes here. To risk your lives. You… you have children.”

  Lenna shook her head, and Cain finally spoke in his gruff voice. “Our children will have to live in this universe after we are gone. If we can make it better for them, then that’s what we have to do.”

  Desh’s hand was shaking in her grip, and Talia squeezed it, trying to encourage him. “We’re not at that point yet, Desh,” she murmured.

  He stared at her almost helplessly.

  She leaned over to kiss him. “When we are at that point, you’ll be ready. I know you will.”

  He let out a shaky breath. “Okay. Okay. Thank you. All of you. I don’t know… I don’t know what to say.”

  “Maybe you can start by telling us your plans for the first steps,” Hall said, his light, polished voice breaking the tension and bringing them all back to more normal interaction, much to Talia’s relief. “We might have some ideas that can help you.”

  So they talked for several hours that evening, and together they put together what Talia thought was a very good plan to begin a rebellion.

  It wasn’t like all those stories she’d read. It was real and tedious and achingly hard. And it would probably take years.

  Yet it was exactly like those stories.

  One person made a decision, made a hard choice. And then other people made choices as well.

  And sometimes it led to suffering. Much would be lost. Even lives.

  Always lives.

  But in doing so, something else was gained, something too precious to be won easily or achieved without great cost.

  And eventually as one person chose good after another, the world could be changed.

  Even her world.

  It was what she’d always dreamed of.

  She’d never known—even a few months ago—that dreams could ever come true.

  But her life had already transformed.

  And now she believed her world could too.

  Epilogue

  Talia wiped perspiration off her forehead with
her forearm.

  She’d just unloaded a dozen bags of feed from a transport, and now the huge bags were stacked neatly against the wall in the barn.

  Cain and Riana’s ranch was old school. They had some equipment, but most of the work was still done by hand. Talia had grown up working around the house with her mother, but she’d never done this kind of manual labor until the past two years.

  She kind of liked the feeling of accomplishment, even though her body was sore.

  For the past year, she’d been on and off this planet fairly often, ever since they’d taken control of all the solar systems in this corner of what was formerly Coalition space. The entire year before that she and Desh hadn’t been able to risk any visits to this planet for fear of calling it to the Coalition’s attention.

  It had been two years now since Desh had made his decision to organize a rebellion.

  For the first ten months, nothing seemed to have happened. She and Desh with Hall and Kyla had traveled through much of Coalition space, finding support, discovering allies, and organizing resources.

  Their first real move had been dramatic, coordinated uprisings on eighteen different planets at the same time. The normal Coalition response to revolt had been impossible since the threat came from so many directions at once.

  So they’d gained some ground that week, and they’d kept gaining ground ever since.

  Slowly and not without a price.

  One of the prices was this rural planet had nearly been abandoned. Kyla and Hall had been forced to let their vineyard and winery go—the grapes were growing wild now, and the outbuildings were in disrepair. Cain and Riana hadn’t been able to let their ranch go completely a year ago when they’d left to help Desh since the cattle couldn’t survive on their own. So Talia and the others took turns staying on the planet to help out. Now that they had control of this part of space, it wasn’t a risk to be coming and going.

  Rone always stayed on the planet with his and Lenna’s children. He still got violently ill from any sort of space travel. Cain and Riana’s ranch wouldn’t have survived without him.

  As if her thoughts had materialized him, she heard a noise behind her and turned around to see Rone walking into the barn. He was frowning. “I was do that,” he said in his growly voice.

  He spoke their language pretty well for someone who had only started speaking it a few years ago, but he still had trouble with verb tenses, articles, and personal pronouns. Evidently his native language didn’t use them.

  “I know you were planning to do it,” Talia told him, “but I had nothing else to do.”

  He came to stand beside her, still frowning deeply. He was unlike any man she’d ever known in the way he never tried to hide what he was feeling, not even the polite mask required of normal social interaction. He shook his head at her, clearly disapproving. “Desh yell if Talia hurt.”

  She laughed and wiped the rest of the sweat from her forehead and the bridge of her nose. “I’m not hurt. And someone needs to help you with all this work. Desh knows I don’t want to sit around doing nothing.”

  “Talia does lot. Stories and plans and ideas.” He was smiling now, and respect for her was clear to see on his face.

  It made her feel good. Really good. That this strong, good man liked and respected her—not as a sex object but as a person.

  Over the past two years, they’d discovered a lot of value in all those stories about uprisings she’d read. She had a whole library of strategies and experiences in her head that they’d used to come up with ideas of their own.

  She never would have believed she had something to offer like that.

  “Thank you,” she said. “But I can also unload some feed occasionally.” She breathed in the smell of dirt and animals and old wood. It smelled raw, natural, so unlike what she was used to. “It’s not bad work, really.”

  “Work good,” Rone said, nodding in obvious agreement. “This world good.”

  She felt a little pang in her chest as she thought about the world he’d lost. “I guess this is still kind of strange for you, taking care of animals instead of hunting them, having your wife go off and fight while you stay with the children?”

  Rone was giving her a curious look, and for a moment she wasn’t sure he’d understood her. Then he said, “Strange, yes. Different but still same.”

  She cocked her head. “What do you mean?”

  He looked around the barn, clearly working through the words before he said them. “World bigger. Tribe bigger. So much bigger. But Rone and Lenna take care of tribe, fight to defend tribe. Still same.” He nodded as if pleased with his articulation of this conclusion.

  Talia felt a little lump of emotion in her throat as she reached over to put a hand on his arm for a moment. “I completely agree,” she said.

  Rone looked like he was about to say something, but then his eyes moved over her shoulder, toward the entrance to the barn.

  She saw what happened on his face. He simply couldn’t hide his feelings the way most men she was used to. In a moment, Rone’s face had transformed with a wash of pleasure, excitement, and affection.

  He appeared to have completely forgotten Talia existed as he strode past her.

  Talia turned to look and discovered the cause of his distraction. Lenna was standing in the entrance to the barn, grinning at her husband.

  It had been six months since she’d been back on this planet, six months since she’d seen Rone.

  When Rone reached her, he scooped her up into a tight hug that lasted for just a few seconds. Then he released her, turned her around, and pushed her out of the barn with a hand on her back. “Lenna come to bed,” he growled. “Now. Rone wait forever.”

  Lenna laughed and turned her head to wave at Talia as Rone hurried her away. “Good to see you, Talia. Desh is behind me. We’ll catch up later!”

  Talia stood where she was and laughed out loud, ridiculously happy for Rone and Lenna.

  She was very happy for herself too.

  She’d only been away from Desh for a month, but she’d missed him. A lot.

  She was still chuckling to herself as she stepped out of the barn. She saw Desh’s strong, lean figure approaching across the yard.

  Even from a distance, she could tell he was tired. Really tired. His shoulders were slumped slightly, and his stride wasn’t as energetic as usual.

  Every week for the past two years, he’d seemed to get more and more tired.

  Still determined but really tired.

  She ran over to meet him, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her for a long time without saying anything.

  He felt warm and strong and needy and familiar. She loved him so much.

  “How are you?” he asked at last, pulling away enough to look down at her face.

  She smiled up at him, her eyes burning with tears. “I’m fine. I’m good. I missed you.”

  “Me too. I thought this month without you would never end.”

  She could see that he meant it. He never did as well without her. It wasn’t just that she could help him with a lot of things. It was that he needed her support, her companionship, the respite she could offer him.

  He’d never been able to find that in any other way. Only in her.

  She reached up a hand to cup his cheek. He needed to shave, and there were shadows under his eyes. “You look really tired.”

  “I am.”

  He didn’t say anything else, but she could see loss in his blue eyes. Something must have happened.

  Every person who died weighed on his conscious, as if they were his personal responsibility.

  The rebellion was no longer solely in his hands. It had taken a life of its own. Almost half the Coalition Council supported them now, and military experts who had joined them made nearly all the tactical decisions now. It was different than it had been at the beginning, but Desh still felt the pressure of leadership very heavily.

  “Are Hall and Kyla here too?”

  “Yes. T
hey’re with Cain and Riana and the kids. They went to make dinner.”

  “Are you hungry? Do you want to join them?”

  Desh shook his head. “Not right away.”

  “Okay.” She reached down to take his hand and led him toward the main house. “Let’s clean up and get some rest then.”

  This evidently was what Desh wanted to do because he squeezed her hand and walked beside her in silence.

  Talia felt a familiar twisting in her chest—worry and knowledge and love and understanding.

  He didn’t do well without her. He took too much on himself. He got lost in his own intelligence and responsibility and need to make things right.

  Only a couple of years ago, those impulses had led him on a suicide mission.

  He’d grown and changed, just like she had, but he was still the same man. And it wasn’t good for him to spend so long without her.

  ***

  A half hour later, she was sitting on the bed, waiting for him to get out of the shower. She’d taken a quick shower first since she was hot and sweaty from working, while Desh had sat and decompressed. Then he’d gone into the shower and had been there for a really long time.

  If he didn’t get out in five minutes, she was going to have to go in there and get him.

  He was probably just standing there, letting hot water stream over his body. But she didn’t know what he was thinking, what he was worrying about, and he needed to get out so he could tell her.

  She knew he brooded about his father a lot. He hadn’t yet had to confront his father—the man who had betrayed his own son, sentenced him to a planet dump because he’d taken a sixteen-year-old’s earnest words about freedom as sedition—but she was afraid one day he would have to confront him. Desh was strong enough to handle it. She knew he was. But he didn’t always know it himself.

  She was about to stand up and go get him from the shower when she heard the water turn off.

  Relaxing, she waited a few minutes until he came into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

  She smiled at him, and he smiled back.