Hidden

by T K Barber

  Anna’s hand gripped his arm and she pushed her cheek into his bicep as Marianna took a slow deep breath.

  God, what else?

  “I . . .” she dropped her hands and blew out a breath to the ceiling before refocusing on him. “Am your birth mother.”

  He blinked. Wheels sped away in his head. Hospital. Pop said he was the one brought him home. Would explain why Ma wasn’t there.

  Would also explain why Nat and Ma both had almost white-blond hair and his was more like a combo between Pop’s and—

  He blinked again.

  “Scarlet. That’d make her my half-sister, yeah?”

  Marianna nodded.

  He sat down hard in a chair and hung his head in his hands.

  Bit much to take in all at one time. Lost a dad, gained a mom and a half-sister. He was almost numb. His back hit the chair when he leaned back up with a deep exhale.

  “Why?”

  “Fear.” She shook her head in a small motion as she smoothed down her skirt. “Shame. More fear. Your father and I were something from the past, and it caught up to us a—

  “No, I mean why bother telling me at all?”

  She blinked. “What—”

  “I had a mom. My Ma was the best. She was the sweetest, quietest, most wonderful person on the planet.” Marianna nodded and he blew out a humorless laugh. “Apparently even more than I thought if she took care of some random baby my pop brought home from the hospital.”

  “You weren’t a random baby, Thomas.”

  “Yeah, okay. But why tell me now? I mean, are you wanting’ to be in my life? Take her place?” Anna rubbed his upper back, quiet as a shadow. Her touch he could feel. Everything else? Not so much.

  “No.” She sat down beside him, just as hard as he had. “No. I’ll never take Jaime’s place. But I do want to try and make up for all the damage I’ve caused. I’d like to be in your and Annalise’s life. If you’ll allow me. Us.”

  “You and Rico?”

  She nodded, and he found a spot on the far wall to focus on. Did he want that? I mean, he knew her. She was nice.

  It made sense now why she went to all the trouble of keeping him hidden. His stomach rolled and he put his hands on either side of his neck as he doubled back over.

  Anna crouched down beside him and rubbed his knee. “You okay?”

  “Not really.” Acid burned his throat. “I need some air.” He launched to his feet and snagged Anna’s hand.

  “I didn’t want to give you to him.” Marianna’s admission hung in the air like a dirty, guilty cloud.

  “Well.” He turned back and frowned. “Want to or not, ya did. And why doesn’t really matter does it? I lived with that monster. Him tryna make me into something like he was. It was bad enough before I set that fuckin’ fire. After that?” He scoffed.

  “That’s the other thing, Tommy.” Her voice rose, her face a mix of excitement and sorrow. “You didn’t set that fire. He did. He killed your mom, and the Greene’s and Nick’s father.”

  The floor fell away. Thomas shook his head. He was stuck between a dream and a nightmare. Only explanation. His chest caved in on itself, and he gripped Anna’s hand tighter, that sensation the only proof he wasn’t dead.

  “I-I can’t right now. It’s too fucking much!”

  He bolted through the door, Anna hot on his heels.

  Marianna called after him, but the walls were already filling in, brick by brick.

  Everything? Was everything in his whole fucking life a lie?

  They were almost running down the hall when Nick and Scarlet pushed through the front door.

  “Annalise! Thomas! Where—”

  Thomas gestured down the hall, avoiding eye contact as he marched right between the two of them.

  Anna called back over her shoulder. “I’ll text you later.”

  Nick grunted. No clue what Scarlet did, but it was probably something nice, like wave. Smile. He gritted his teeth. Half-sister. Natty was his real sister. But she was gone.

  The night air slicked across his skin as they marched to the car.

  Guess half was better than none. He let his jaw relax and jerked the passenger door open.

  Who could he even trust?

  Anna stepped in front of him and wrapped her arms around his waist. His eyes closed and he almost smiled. Her. He could always trust her.

  He half expected her to start talking about forgiveness or how he could use new family or something, but she just held him.

  Each second that passed with her arms around him hurt worse than the one before. Not just ‘cause he’d been sucker-punched a few times, either. This was a deeper pain. Quiet pain.

  Silence surrounded them despite the hum of cars on the main road or conversation from the benches around the hospital entrance.

  His brow knitted. What was he supposed to do with all this damn information? So, he wasn’t a monster all those years.

  Anna’s grip tightened but a knot worked loose in his stomach. He draped an arm around her shoulder and rested his chin on the top of her head.

  He didn’t kill his ma. Her face in that fire flashed in his mind again and he choked on a breath. Anna pressed further into him, hitting one of the tenderest spots with her bicep. He sucked in a sharp breath but tugged her tighter. This pain was better than the other one.

  If he hadn’t set that fire, if he hadn’t killed his ma, if he wasn’t a . . . monster, that meant he really didn’t deserve any of it.

  The dam broke.

  He buried his face on Anna’s neck, tears coming too fast to stop. He didn’t want to anyway.

  She snatched her arms out from around his waist and cradled his head. “Thomas, I’m so sorry.”

  It was almost impossible to stop the tears. Even holding his breath was only half working. She smoothed her hands over his head, his cheeks, rubbed the back of his neck, all the while either saying nothing or she was sorry.

  She didn’t try to tell him it’d be alright. That it was okay. That everything was fine. ‘Cause she knew better. It wouldn’t. It wasn’t. Hell, she probably knew exactly why he was crying, even without him saying. She’d done this dance.

  And his pop was gone. Couldn’t even ask him why. Hear his fucked-up rationalization. Not that it would matter. None of it mattered.

  After a minute or two, he straightened up slowly, scrubbing his cheeks and nose before he dropped his hands. He looked up at the night sky, a few stars winking out from behind clouds as they passed. Maybe he’d buy her one. Put her name on it.

  “Anna.”

  She smoothed down the front of his shirt. “Hmm?”

  Her eyes were wet when he let his gaze slide down to meet them. “I wanna go to the house.”

  “Okay. Want me to drive?”

  He sucked in a long sniffle. There was no way he’d let the first time she drove in months be to his damn father’s house. “Nah, gorgeous. You slide in an’ get comfy. Not sure it’s safe for you to drive yet, anyhow. We’ll have ta give this car back to V soon, so I won’t take too long. I just—”

  “I know.” Her smile was small but said so much. It said everything she hadn’t. She tugged him into a gentle kiss by his collar, then dropped in.

  He rounded the car and they were on the main drag soon after, in silence. Anna’s hand sat locked in his, draped over the center console, her thumb rubbing a soothing pattern.

  The closer they got, the darker the cloud that hovered around the car.

  What the hell was he hoping he’d find? Did he even want to keep anything from that life? Well, clothes probably. Some books, maybe.

  When they turned on his street, Cider Court, his throat burned. His stomach flipped. This would be the last time he’d make this drive. If it didn’t fit in this massive trunk, he wasn’t keeping it.

  The driveway was under the wheels before he knew it and he threw the car into park, leaving his hand on the polished shifter knob.
<
br />   Now or never.

  Anna picked up his hand and kissed it, giving it a squeeze. “I love you.”

  A deep breath filled his lungs and he let the smile come. Even through the ash cloud of his pain, her words made him feel good. “I love you too, gorgeous. You don’t have to come in if you don’t want to.”

  “And miss seeing your room? No way!” She grinned and climbed out, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Company, it turned out, he didn’t want.

  He got out, pushing the door to with his body weight. “So.” This might have been a bad idea. Those dark blue walls stirred a pot of sickness and rage deep in his gut.

  Anna turned a smile over her shoulder. “It’s nice.” She held out her hand. “Show me around?”

  He smiled and snagged her wiggling fingers.

  “Uhk. Well. There’s the door.” He gestured with their joined hands and earned himself a light chest whack. “Nah, come on. My roo—”

  He pulled her up short. She turned a sharp look to him and the finger he had resting on his lips.

  Movement. Who the hell could be in his house? He reached for his piece. Fuck! Where was—oh right. Anna’s gaze followed his motion and winced, mouthing “Sorry.”

  He shook his head and stepped in front of her as they moved to the side of the front steps.

  The door opened like a gust of wind had blown it from inside and his heart froze.

  A ghost. He was seeing a ghost.

  “Tomcat . . .” The ghost of his sister’s voice trailed off.

  Too much stress. He’d gone fucking crackers.

  Anna sucked in a massive breath and leapt out from behind him. “Nataly?!”

  Thomas’s blink was slow. Too slow. Anna saw the ghost too? Wait, how did she know—

  The ghost turned back toward the door and shouted, but no sound reached his ears. Nothing but the whoosh of his own blood.

  Before he could react any further, Anna pulled out of his hand and ran up the stairs the same time his sister’s ghost came down. They collided in the middle, a tangle of arms for a split second, then the ghost came for him.

  It wasn’t that he was too scared to move, in fact, he wasn’t scared at all. He was just living in a thick slurry. Everything felt heavy. Slow. Quiet.

  Two petite hands slapped each of his cheeks and moved his head around. Bright, busy blue eyes, one pupil bigger than the other, tried to catch his gaze. Sound filtered back in and he blinked.

  If he could feel that, she had to be real.

  “Tommy! Say somethin’! Plum, didja break ‘im on the ride over?”

  Could he talk yet? Glue clung to his tongue, molding it to the roof of his mouth, but he swallowed and covered her hands with his, halting the rollercoaster. “N-Natty?”

  She squealed so loud and long his ears rang. Her arms clamped around his neck, and he blew out such a harsh breath it made a wave in her long blond hair.

  Nataly wasn’t dead? Every muscle in his body swapped from stationary and slow to buzzing and on fire.

  He whimpered and hugged her for everything he was worth, gripping the back of her shirt.

  His sister. His best friend. His one-time role model. His one-time everything. She looked totally different and exactly the same.

  He might have been bruising some bones, hers and his, but he didn’t give a damn. She wouldn’t either. They’d always done everything together. This wouldn’t be any different.

  He shifted, cupping the back of her head, and her tears soaked his shoulder while his own joy dripped down his cheeks.

  Now there was one shiny, clean bit of his family to share with Anna. With their kids. Someone without some psychotic or self-serving agenda. Someone whose capacity to love beat his by a mile.

  Someone named Nataly.

  “I can’t believe you ain’t dead.” The strangled sound that eked past his lips shocked him, and he swallowed right as he caught Anna’s wet gaze.

  “Is that what he told ya?”

  He nodded and hugged his big sis tighter until she pushed him back a step, as serious an expression as he figured she could manage plastered to her face. “He’s dead for real.”

  “Yeah. I heard.”

  The shadow passed as quick as it came, and she grinned, all her small perfect teeth peeking out. “My Gavin’s here. And you found your plum! Well, she found you. She thought you were dead, but I knew.” She tapped her temple, then her heart. “I could still feel ya, but I couldn’t say anything.”

  It was Anna’s turn to hug Nataly again, and she touched her shoulder. Nat pivoted in place and gripped her tight, rocking her side to side. “I missed ya plum. It wasn’t tha same after you left.”

  “I missed you too! I can’t believe all that time you were his sister. I didn’t even know he had a sister!”

  Had he never told her? Huh. He’d been pushing it down so long, apparently it was too easy to not mention.

  Nat’s head bobbed. “Couldn’t say nothin’. Or else.”

  “Wait.”

  They both turned their heads to look at him at the same time, pressing their cheeks together.

  “Natty where were ya this whole time? You were with Anna?”

  She released Anna with a cheek pat and a nose tweak. “Come on, TC,” she held out her hand. “Storytime.”

  He furrowed his brow to hold in the onslaught of nostalgia that slammed him. Storytime. TC. Tomcat.

  He grasped it, probably tighter than he should have, but she squeezed right back.

  He was a kid again, his tiny hero leading him through the house.

  This was dancing on the edge of too much for him to handle in one day.

  Anna took his other hand, threading her fingers with his, and placed a kiss on his upper arm, whispering against it.

  “I love you. I’m here for you, okay?”

  He glanced down at her upturned face and let another small smile form, then leaned down to kiss her, speaking against her mouth.

  “I love you, too.”

  “Yes, we all love you, Tomcat. Gavin loves ya too, don’t you Big Daddy?”

  Thomas’s mouth quirked and his brows lifted as he shot Anna a sideways look. She tucked her lips under her teeth.

  Big daddy, huh? The Gavin he remembered was tall, sure, but he had been a bit scrawn—

  The man in question stepped through the doorway like a bearded mountain of muscles and Thomas’s smiled dropped.

  Oh. Well, alright then. Damn though. If he worked out twenty-four hours a day, he’d never be that big. Not that he wanted to.

  “Sure do, Kitten.”

  Gavin leaned down when she got to him, presenting his cheek for an onslaught of short kisses. Anna giggled and squeezed Thomas’s hand. When Nataly was apparently satisfied with whatever number she reached, she all but skipped past him, tugging himself and Anna along behind her.

  Before Thomas made it in though, he was trapped in a bear hug from hell.

  “Man, it’s good to see you. Look at you, all grown up. It’s crazy.”

  Thomas patted the polite giant’s back and pulled away with a cough. “You’re uh . . .” he gestured to all of Gavin, who laughed, shrugged, and pointed inside.

  At the threshold, a sharp astringent scent attacked his nose. He swallowed, the churning in his stomach back. Smelled that quite a few times over the years. Wasn’t the normal house smell, though. No, it was something the clean-up crew used. Must mean his pop died here. Thank God he didn’t have to see the body.

  That would have pushed this day right over that edge into a pit of ‘way too fucking much.’

  Thomas

  Nataly perched on the counter like a tiny knick-knack, feet swinging. Thomas and Anna sat on the grey couch, arms hooked around each other.

  Gavin had his elbows on the counter, leaned back against it with his ankles crossed. “That explains why she—”

  “Pulled out the patches.” She grinned, all teeth, at Gavin who smiled ri
ght back, leaning over to give her a kiss.

  Maybe she was trying to make up for it, but it still fucking hurt to know she’d chosen herself and Scarlet over him. Not that he’d know what to do in that situation either. He sighed. It all just fucking sucked.

  “I bet that’d make ma happy. You know, she only got to have you ‘cause of Ms. M. An’ the sun and moon had nothing on you. I was green over you at first. But that first time ya poked me in the eye with your tiny finger tryna take my candy I knew we’d be best friends.”

  Thomas chuckled and shook his head. “I really missed you, Nat.”

  “I missed you too, TC. We’ll do it together, how about?”

  Sometimes Nataly’s wheels were fully visible, almost turning above her head like a cartoon. Now was one of those times. Her eyes cast to the ceiling, fingertip in the center her chin.

  “Do what?”

  “Maybe she can be my ma, too. Then you don’t haveta feel like you’re leavin’ me out.”

  “Nat—”

  “This is the last time we’ll be here.” Nataly spun a strawberry DumDum around in the air, indicating the entire room, then stuck it back in her mouth. Apparently, that part of the conversation was check-marked in her brain.

  “Yeah Nat,” he sighed and rose, stretching his arms above his head. “You’re right. It don’t feel the same. Not that it felt all that great before. Wonder who he left it to.”

  Anna stood as well, cracking her back. Nataly pulled the sucker out with a loud pop. “Doesn’t matter said the hatter. Smoke trails belong to the sky, ashes to the ground.”

  Thomas stalled and stared at her. Was she saying—

  Gavin nodded, tearing his eyes away from Nataly and clearing his throat. “So, load up anything you’d like to keep. Nat only wanted a couple things.”

  She clacked the lollipop against her front teeth as she grinned, then gestured to her face with it. “The things my eyes see, they hold on to, ya know? And I’ve seen enough of this heartbreak house.”

  Anna wrapped her arms around him from behind, pressing her cheek into his back. “If there’s a lot you want, we can call Nick.”