by L A Cotton
“Touch me,” I whispered. “I need you to touch me.”
Eight months ago, I never would have done this. I never would have let Rafe undress me and lie me down against a pile of soft blankets, under the stars.
But I was alive.
Being with Rafe, on tour with the band, reminded me of that every second of every day. I got my second chance, and whether or not I deserved it, I knew now that I had to live it.
For my parents and Molly.
For Cody.
For myself.
“Love me, Rafe,” I pleaded as he rolled me beneath him. My hands dipped under his shirt, tracing the lines of his chest. He managed to pull it over his head, his hands making quick work of his belt. I helped pop the button, helped him work his jeans down his legs, until we were nothing but skin on skin.
“I’ve waited so long for this”. It came out thick. “Living your life in the spotlight isn’t always what it’s made out to be. But these moments, quiet moments with you, I live for them, Eva.” His thumb brushed over my bottom lip as his mouth hovered near mine. “I always wondered what would happen after the band. What I would do when music is all I’ve ever known? But you changed all that. I look at you, and I want things, Starshine. Things I never thought I’d get to have.”
His words stole the air from lungs. I was only eighteen. There was so much life left to live. Things left to experience.
“I love you, Rafe Hunter,” I said, hitching my legs around his hips, pulling him closer into my body.
He kissed me, tracing his lips down the slope of my neck and nipping my collarbone. My soft moans filled the air, rising above the credits of the movie still playing in the background. Slipping a hand between us, Rafe pressed a finger inside me. The heat of his touch and the coolness of the breeze made me shiver.
“You’re always so wet for me,” he groaned the words as he circled his thumb over my clit while curling his finger deeper inside me.
“More,” I panted, clutching onto his shoulder as I rode the waves building inside me.
“Take it.” The words drifted over my lips. “Take everything, Eva.” Rafe rocked into me, his hardness pressed up against my thigh. A bolt of pleasure shot through me.
“You, I want you.” My words were choppy as I began to crash over the edge. Suddenly, Rafe’s hand was gone. Hooking my panties to one side, he guided himself inside me, stealing the air from my lungs.
“Fuck, you feel... I need a second.” Rafe stilled above me. His jaw was clenched, eyes closed as he looked to the stars. He looked so devastating, ribbons of ink running over his skin. Every tattoo a different story to his past. My hands traced down his body, curving over his slim hips.
“Rafe, I need you to—”
“Ssh.” He leaned down and kissed me. Hard and deep and bruising. “I know what you need, Starshine.” Rocking forward, Rafe filled me. Sliding a hand under my thigh, he went deeper, the gentle rocking motion making the truck buck and bronc.
But it didn’t matter.
I was too lost in him to care. Too lost in the way he played my body, creating the perfect cacophony of racing heartbeats and soft moans.
“I want to feel you,” he breathed against the shell of my ear, and my gaze slid to his in question. “Do you trust me?” he asked, and I nodded.
I trusted him implicitly.
“Hold on.” Rafe took my hands and looped then around his back. Without warning, he flipped us over, leaning back on his elbows. My laughter filled the air. When I finally caught my breath again, Rafe was staring at me with such intensity, a shiver rolled up my spine.
“Ride me, Eva.”
Rising on my knees, I grasped him in my hand, and gently inched down. It felt incredible.
He felt incredible.
“Look at you.” Rafe swallowed, trailing his fingers down the valley of my breasts, down my stomach. He curved his hands around my hips and steadied my rhythm, making it as slow and deep as possible. I felt another wave cresting. It came out of nowhere, crashing over me with brutal force.
“Rafe,” I cried, reaching out for him, to steady myself.
He sat up, crushing me to his chest, thrusting upwards, sending me soaring into the night’s sky. “Fuck,” he grunted. “I need to go harder.”
“Take it,” I barely got the words out. “Take everything, Rafe.”
He was in control now, chasing his own end, using my body as his personal instrument. The truck rocked, our breathy moans rising higher and higher over the end credits. I was crashing, sated and sleepy, but I wanted to give Rafe what he needed.
I wanted to chase his demons away.
Stroking his hair away, I cupped his face and kissed him. Our bodies were impossibly close, slick with sweat and warm with love. He began to tremble, his hands clamped around my hips.
“Eva... Jesus...” Rafe jerked inside me, collapsing back against the side of the truck bed, pulling me with him. I could hear his heart beating in his chest. He stroked my spine, drawing out every last drop of pleasure.
Neither of us spoke, but we didn’t need words. We knew what we shared was raw and intense. It was the darkest parts of our souls entwined together to create something beautiful. We were still so young. Too young to make big choices about the future.
So why did it feel like we had both just made a huge decision?
“You okay down there, Starshine?” Rafe finally broke the silence.
I peeked up at him. “I’m okay. Are you?”
“I’m... shit, Eva. I don’t even have words to describe it. When I’m with you—”
“Ssh.” I reached up, pressing a finger to his lips. I wasn’t ready for whatever he was about to say. Not when things with the tour were finally calmer.
“No more serious talk. Not tonight. Not when everything has been so perfect.”
I grabbed a blanket and pulled it around my shoulders. “What time do we have to leave?”
“We have time, Starshine.”
“Good,” I leaned up and kissed him. “Then let’s make the most of it.”
We stayed at the drive-in and watched another movie. The whole night was perfect from start to finish. But I couldn’t help but feel like I’d made a mistake shutting Rafe down when he’d been about to tell me whatever was on his mind. I just didn’t want him to say something he couldn’t take back.
And the truth was, I wasn’t sure I would survive having my heart broken a third time by him.
Levi was his brother—his family. They would always be a part of one another’s lives. Rafe felt like he’d made his choice now, but what happened down the line, when Levi needed him? Because that day would come. It would always come. I didn’t want Rafe to make promises to me that he couldn’t keep. And I didn’t want him to think he had to choose.
“Penny for your thoughts?” he said as we pulled into the rental place.
“Tonight has been everythin’ I could have wished for and more. I’ll never forget it.”
He cut the engine and shifted toward me, brushing my jaw. “It won’t always be like this you know? After the tour, when the band has some downtime, we’ll have more time.”
“Rafe, it’s okay.” I smiled. “This is your life, I get it. I knew what I was gettin’ into. Things are takin’ off for the band in a big way, and Letty says the label want to get me into the studio as soon as possible.”
“They do?” A dark expression crossed his face, but then it was gone, replaced with a blinding smile. “That’s amazing, Eva. I’m so fucking proud of you.”
I still hadn’t processed everything. I knew the label wanted to capitalize on my growing popularity, but I was focused on the tour, on getting through one day at a time.
“I just want you to know, we have time. I’m not goin’ anywhere, Rafe, okay?”
“And if time isn’t enough?” he said, lowering his voice. “If I want forever?”
My breath caught. But a loud rap on the glass startled me before I could get out a reply. Rafe grumbled something ab
out my bodyguard’s ‘impeccable timing’ before climbing out of the truck.
Travis opened my door and helped me out. “We need to go.”
“You couldn’t have waited five more minutes?” Rafe arched a brow.
Travis didn’t reply, but I was sure I caught him smirking as he ushered me to the SUV. “Thank you,” I said before climbing inside. “For helping Rafe pull this off.”
“I’m not going to lie to you, Eva. What Rafe did tonight, it was a huge risk. But...” He let out a weary sigh. “You deserve a little slice of happiness. Just don’t get too used to it.” He nudged me inside and slammed the door, his warning a stark reminder that for as long as we were in this life, nothing about mine and Rafe’s relationship would ever be normal.
Rafe
* * *
“What the fuck?” I grumbled as we stepped out of the elevator. Laughter drifted down the hall. Loud, raucous laughter.
“Relax,” Eva said, flattening her hand against my stomach. “It’s probably just Hudson foolin’ around.”
But it didn’t sound like Hudson. It sounded like party central. Dread slithered up my spine as we reached Stalter.
“What’s going on in there?” I asked him.
“Don’t ask me. I only just got on shift an hour ago.”
Eva rolled her eyes as she grabbed the handle and opened the door. “I’m sure it’s—”
Music blasted out of the suite.
“The lovebirds are back,” someone yelled, and everyone cheered, raising their cups in the air.
“I’ll fucking kill him.” I started scanning the room for Levi.
“Rafe.” Eva touched my arm. “Don’t make a scene. It’s just a few roadies. Let them have their fun.”
“You can’t be serious?”
She stepped in front of me. “I just had the most amazin’ date with my boyfriend. I’m not goin’ to let anythin’ ruin that, and neither should you.”
“Fine,” I conceded, my jaw clenching. “But I’m going to need a drink to survive this.”
She leaned up, kissing the corner of my mouth. “Just don’t have too many; I have big plans for you later.”
“Shit, Eva.” My hands ran over her ass, fitting her against me. “You can’t say stuff like that to me and then expect me to behave.”
“Wondered when you would show up.” Hudson strolled over to us, handing me a beer.
“Let me guess, this was his idea.” I still hadn’t spotted my brother, which was weird considering he usually loved to be center of attention.
“Actually, it was mostly a group decision. You know, the ones we used to make together.”
“Cheap shot,” I grumbled.
“Play nice, Hudson.”
“Sorry, Eva.” His eyes clouded with regret. “I don’t mean to be an asshole. It’s just everything is different. It’s messing with my Feng shui.”
“You have Feng shui?” She chuckled.
“Hey, I’m a deep guy.”
“Are you feeling okay?” I asked. “You’re acting weird.”
“And on that note, I’m goin’ to find Letty and Phoebe. You two behave.” Eva kissed me again before moving deeper into the suite.
“You struck gold with her, you know?” Hudson leaned back against the wall. “I want to hate her, but she makes it so damn hard.”
Silence settled over us as we watched Letty pull Eva into her arms, the two of them smiling and laughing. Then Hudson said, “So, how’d it go tonight?”
“It was okay.”
“Okay? What kind of bullshit reply is that?” He scoffed.
“What do you want me to say, man? I’m pretty sure you don’t want to hear all about my date with Eva, just like I don’t want to hear all about whatever girl you’re hoping to bang tonight.”
“Nah, man. I’m not feeling it.”
“Has hell frozen over? Did you get a fever?” I leaned over and tried to touch his forehead to check his temperature.
“Get the fuck off me. I’m good. I just... fuck, I can’t get her out of my head.”
“Molly.”
“She’s in here.” He tapped his temple. “I don’t know when the fuck it happened, but after Vegas, things feel...”
“Different?”
He pressed his lips into a thin line, nodding. “But I don’t do relationships, and despite all her bravado, something tells me Molly Steinberg isn’t the kind of girl who will keep putting up my shit.”
“Maybe you won’t know if you don’t try.”
“Nah, man. I’m not that guy. I’m never gonna be that guy.”
“Well, whatever you do, don’t lead her on.” I grabbed his shoulder. “She’s Eva’s best friend, and if you hurt her, it’ll hurt my girl, and then, she’ll want to hurt you. And that will get all kinds of awkward for me.” I smirked.
“Fuck you, man.” Hudson shucked me off. “I know where your loyalty lies, and it isn’t with the band anymore.”
“Jesus, are you ever going to let me off the hook? I needed to fix things with her, Hud. That’s what you do when you love someone. You fight for them.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it. You love her more than you love the band.”
“For fuck’s sake will you—”
“Chill man, I’m busting your balls. She’s good for you. I think she’s good for all of us. It’s just weird, you know. She’s changing things.”
I took a long pull on the beer Hudson had given me. Just then, one of the bedroom doors swung open and Levi staggered out, shirtless. “Look who decided to show up.” His eyes landed on me, but then quickly swept the room for Eva. “Country, get over here and make some magic with me.”
“Tell me he didn’t take something,” I ground out.
“He hasn’t touched anything except liquor as far as I know.”
It wasn’t a saving grace. Drunk Levi could be just as much trouble as high Levi. Eva made her way over to my brother, but movement from the bedroom caught my eye. “Who the hell is that?”
“You know Levi and his magical ways,” Hudson said, as we watched the random girl slip into the room unnoticed since all eyes were on Levi and Eva. Someone had found her a guitar, and she was busy tuning it.
“I’m not sure I can stick around and watch this.”
“You’re going to have to get used to that.” He pointed a finger in their direction.
“Yeah, I know.” Before I realized, I’d moved closer. Eva caught my eye, her gaze sparkling so much love, I couldn’t turn and walk away even if I’d wanted to.
“I couldn’t say no.” She mouthed.
“It’s okay,” I replied. Moving closer, I dropped onto the sectional beside Letty.
“What do you think, Angel? Shall we play something dark and dirty?”
“Something off the album,” someone yelled.
Levi’s eyes lit up at the challenge. “What do you think, Country? You think you’ve got what it takes?”
“I think I can try.”
Everyone cheered. “Show him who’s boss, Eva,” one of the roadies called.
“What do you fancy?” Levi grinned at her. He might not have been high on any substance, but he was high on the attention, the opportunity to stick it to me again.
My fist clenched at my thigh. Letty nudged my shoulder. “You cool?”
I nodded. “He’s doing this to bait me.”
“Is he? Or is he doing it because it’s the only way he knows how to communicate?”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
Phoebe chose that exact moment to appear. She sat down on the other side of Letty, a cup of something in her hand.
“Where did you get to?”
“Nowhere.” Her eyes flicked to mine, and she gave me a strange look, before sliding her gaze to my brother.
I knew that look… it was the look of longing.
Shit.
Phoebe and my brother… that was a huge fucking shitshow we didn’t need.
Eva began strumming the opening notes to The Ti
es That Bind. Letty gasped a little. “She went there,” she breathed.
I stared at her.
At them.
I didn’t even know Eva knew the arrangement for one of our more mainstream songs. But it didn’t surprise me. She had a gift, and she’d spent night after night watching us perform.
“I know what you’re doing, Angel.” Levi arched his brow at her, running a hand through his hair. “Someone get me a drink. I think I’m going to need it.”
Two seconds later, a cup was thrust at him. Levi downed the contents in one, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and throwing the cup over his shoulder with the other. “This one’s for you, little brother.”
“Damn, they sound good together.” Damon joined us, offering me another beer. I drained my other one and took it.
“Thanks.” It came out tight as I watched him sing about brotherhood and family. About how, no matter what was going on, you could always count on each other.
“How was it tonight?” Damon whispered, pulling me from my thoughts. Everyone was too captivated by my brother and Eva to be paying us any attention. But then, it was hard not to be.
“I’m in so fucking deep with her.” I admitted.
His mouth curved. “I’m happy for you, truly.”
“Thanks.”
Eva harmonized the chorus, her tone softening Levi’s jagged edges. Letty caught my eye and I noticed she was filming.
“This is perfect for your social media accounts,” she mouthed. She lived for that shit; anything to bring us closer to our fans.
“You should go join them,” Damon said, flicking his head to one of the other guitars propped up in the corner of the room.
“Yes!” Letty beamed.
“Nah, I’m not sure—”
“Get over here, brother.” I don’t know if Levi had heard Damon, or if it had been his plan all along, but I found myself standing up to a rumble of cheers.
I didn’t pick up the other guitar though. Instead, I grabbed a stool and positioned it behind Eva, pulling her onto my knee and sliding my arms through hers. “Play with me, Starshine?” I moved my hands into position beneath hers.
“Any requests?” Levi asked the small crowd.
