From Ashes

by Amanda Perry

  “As fun as it is to watch you three going crazy, I made lunch.” He gestures with his head toward the house. “Come and get it before it’s cold.”

  “Is it potato soup?” I ask with another giggle.

  Dad does a double-take. “Uhm, no. Was it supposed to be?”

  Cassie ignores him and sticks her tongue out at me. “It’s a genius idea, and you know it.”

  “I’ll get started on those potatoes after lunch,” I promise her as I climb to my feet.

  Leanne gathers the stones I made, and I hand off the newest one to Cassie as I climb to my feet. She quickly rinses it with some high-pressured water from the pool, then holds it up to study it. Leanne leans over Cassie’s shoulder to check out the new rock.

  As soon as she catches a glimpse of it, she squeals excitedly and snatches the stone from Cassie’s hand. “It looks like the Earth!”

  Curiosity gets the better of me, and I sidle up beside Leanne to check over my creation. The green, white, and blue-swirled stone has the appearance of the Earth from space. It’s one of the prettiest I’ve done, and Leanne seems to love it. With Christmas a little over a month away, it gives me an idea for a gift I can give her. I’ll need help from my dad to pull it off, though.

  If I didn’t think my gift idea was perfect, I’d let her keep it now, but I know she’ll love what I’ve come up with. She reluctantly hands me the Earth stone, along with the handful of others from throughout the morning.

  “Baby,” Caleb calls from the doorway my dad recently vacated. “You need to eat something. You’ve been out there all morning, and you’re going to wear yourself out.”

  I hurry to him after gathering the stones from Leanne. His concerned frown disappears, and a soft smile takes its place the closer I get to him. He opens his arms for me, and I step into them without hesitation, my hands cradled between us, full of my stones. He pulls us away from the doorway to allow Leanne and Cassie to pass. When no one else is around, I rest my head on his chest and let out a contented sigh. I missed him terribly, even though he was in right inside the house the whole time.

  He didn’t even leave the living area and thanks to the back wall downstairs being made completely out of glass, I could see him the whole time. “I was told to keep myself busy while you worked on something. Remember? I had to stay busy all morning.”

  “I don’t know why I thought it would be a good idea to leave you for the entire morning,” Caleb pouts. “I missed the hell out of you.”

  I glance up at him and raised a brow. “Weren’t you in the living room with Jaxon the whole time? I could see you two talking through the window.”

  He pulls away from me and grimaces. “That’s not the point. I want to surprise you with this thing I’m working on, but I also never want to stop touching you again.”

  My cheeks darken, and I bite my lip. I really like it when he touches me, too. “I’m fine with that.”

  Caleb inhales sharply, his eyes darting to mine. The intensity in them lights a fire in my belly. Without thinking, I lift up onto my toes and lean into him. He dips his head, our lips nearly touching. I beg him with my eyes to kiss me, and I think he’s finally going to until we’re interrupted.

  “Holy shit, these sandwiches are amazing.” Jaxon hollers from the kitchen. “Come on, Caleb, before I eat yours. Dad makes the best paninis, and I won’t say no to another one, even if it’s yours.”

  Caleb curses under his breath. “I’m going to set his boxers on fire.” He takes my hand and pulls me to the dining nook for lunch.

  “I don’t think that would end well.” I slide into my seat beside Caleb. It’s only a seat at the dining table, but I’m a million times happier in it than where I’d been sitting for the last month. Nothing against sitting next to Cassie, but I prefer my place beside Caleb.

  “What won’t end well?” Cassie asks around a big bite of her lunch.

  Caleb wrinkles his nose in disgust. “Do you ever finish chewing before you speak?”

  “Sometimes.” She shrugs, though her mouth is still full. “But I know how much you hate it.”

  Sensing a sibling spat on the horizon, I jump in and cut them off before it escalates. “I’m making potatoes for dinner.”

  The table turns silent, aside from Cassie’s and Leanne’s titters. After a long stretch of silence, Caleb raises a brow in silent question. I finally give in and explain, “We were trying to figure out what I could do to combine my affinities and practice using them together.”

  He blinks several times, waiting patiently for more of an elaboration. I don’t offer one, assuming it’s self-explanatory. He squints, and his lips twitch. He seems to be torn between amusement and disbelief. “And the obvious answer is potatoes?”

  “It was my idea,” Cassie chirps. Her mouth is actually empty this time around, which impresses me.

  Jaxon coughs to cover his laughter. “It’s a great idea, sweetheart.”

  “Are you really going to try it?” Dad seems genuinely curious. “It might be good practice, but aren’t there other ways to combine your affinities?”

  “I may as well give it a shot.” Cassie may have been kidding when she suggested it, but it’s not the worst idea she’s ever had. I don’t think I could attempt another diamond today without losing my mind. “Leanne planted some seeds a while ago. I could use them if she doesn’t mind. The rest of the process wouldn’t be difficult in theory.”

  “That’s not really using all four at once, though,” Caleb points out. “You use Earth to grow them. Fire to cook them. I’m guessing Water would be to rinse and clean them.” He pauses and ponders briefly. “I can’t think of a reason to use Air with potatoes.”

  “To cool them.” Cassie gives him a duh look, as if we hadn’t had the same question less than an hour ago.

  Caleb’s lips form an O. “Got it.” He rolls his eyes as soon as Cassie looks away. “Anyway, there have to be other ways for you to use all of them at once, or at least several of them at the same time.”

  “I tried sandcastles. She won’t try it because we don’t have sand.” Cassie pulls a face at me that I return.

  Caleb chuckles. “I love it when you make funny faces.” He leans in and kisses my temple. It reminds me of the several almost kisses we’ve shared since yesterday. I need to talk to him and find out why he won’t just kiss me already.

  To distract myself, I make another funny face at him. He barks out a laugh. “I love you.”

  It’s a simple declaration, but it sends me soaring. I lean into him and grin like a goon. “I love you, too.”

  Every bad moment from the last month washes away when he tells that me he loves me because I truly believe him. I trust my soulmate with every fiber of my being, and I know he would never lie to me, especially about how he feels about me. It breaks my heart that we lost a month of time together because of such a massive misunderstanding. I refuse to let it ever happen again, which means I need to talk to him when doubts creep in. It’ll be difficult at first because I’m used to holding everything in to avoid confrontation, but in the end, it’ll be worth it.

  When bedtime finally rolls around, I spend nearly an hour in a long, hot shower to relax before gladly dragging myself into Caleb’s bed. I tried to make potatoes for dinner, but the energy it took to accelerate the growth of the spuds wore me out, and we ended up ordering pizza. I’ll attempt it again tomorrow since the remaining tasks aren’t as involved.

  Caleb opens his bathroom door and steam from his shower pours out. He steps out in nothing but a towel and makes his way to the dresser for some clothes. It’s the same way I came out of the bathroom last night, and I enjoy the role-reversal immensely. My mouth dries up as my eyes involuntarily rake over every perfect line of his bare chest. Caleb without a shirt is probably my favorite sights in the world, but Caleb in a towel with water droplets running down his tanned skin replaces it at the top of the list.

  “Wow,” I breathe.

  He pauses on his way to the dresser.
“What?”

  I didn’t mean to say anything aloud. With flushed cheeks, I scramble for something to say. “Uhm. I was going to ask if you’re ever going to tell me what the surprise is you were working on?”

  Caleb raises his brow with a knowing smirk. It’s obvious my attempt at diversion was an epic fail, but thankfully, he plays along. “You’ll find out tomorrow night.”

  My curiosity genuinely piques. “What happens tomorrow night?”

  Caleb chuckles. “If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise, baby girl.”

  He grabs some boxers and slips them on under his towel. Once he’s covered, he removes the towel and tosses it into the laundry hamper before he pulls on some pajama pants. I try to hide my disappointment when he slides into bed. He used to sleep in only his boxers the majority of the time, but he’s worn pajama pants two nights in a row. It’s a small change, but it bothers me.

  “Why are you wearing pants?” The question tumbles out before common sense sets in.

  Caleb chokes on air, coughing and sputtering. “Wh-what?”

  I cringe and shrink into the bed. If only I knew how to make myself disappear. Instead, I pull the covers over my head and pretend he can’t see me anymore. “Never mind. I didn’t mean to say that.”

  “Oh, no way.” Caleb laughs and pries the covers from my hands. “You don’t get to say shit like that, then take it back.”

  I groan and cover my burning cheeks with my hands. “It sounded a lot worse out loud than it did in my head.”

  “I’d give almost anything to know what you’re thinking,” Caleb muses. “But since I’m not a mind reader, you’re going to have to explain it to me.”

  If catching fire from a blush was possible, it would happen to me right about now. Caleb finds it amusing if the silent shake of his shoulders is any indication. He won’t relent, though. That much is clear. “Okay, fine.” I blow out a long breath and sit up. “You used to wear boxers to sleep. Now, you wear pajama pants. I know it’s only been two nights, but I was just curious what changed.”

  “Ah.” Caleb nods his understanding. He glances at me and bites his lip. “You’re right, that does sound a lot worse out loud.”

  “Ugh.” I grab my pillow and throw it at him, which only causes him to burst into laughter.

  He anticipates the second attack when I grab my pillow and try to swing it at him again. He grabs the pillow and gives it a hard jerk that brings me with it. While the pillow tumbles over the side of the bed, I land across Caleb’s bare chest.

  His hold shifts from the pillow to my waist, and he pins me in place on top of him. I only struggle for a few seconds because, in truth, I don’t want to break away. “It’s cheating when you’re twice my size.”

  He snorts. “You seem really bothered by it.”

  “Mm-hmm.” I snuggle against his chest and let out a content sigh. “Very bothered.”

  Caleb runs his hand softly up and down my back. It brings forth the urge to purr like a kitten. “You do seem bothered by the fact I’m wearing pajamas the past few nights, though.” His tone turns more serious, and I know our playtime has ended.

  With a silent reminder to myself that I need to talk to him about things that bother me, I decide to lay it all out for him. “It’s not just the pajamas.”

  His hand pauses on my back. “What do you mean?”

  “You never explained why you distanced yourself from me before the incident at the mall and you still won’t kiss me.” I set my hands on the middle of his chest and rest my chin on top of them. “Maybe, I shouldn’t bring it up or maybe it’s nothing. I just don’t want us to have more misunderstanding or problems because I keep my fears and doubts to myself.”

  Caleb’s frozen hand on my back goes back to running a soothing path up to my shoulder and down my spine to my hips. “Baby, I need you to always tell me when things bother you, especially right now. I don’t know how you feel all the time, and it makes things harder because if you won’t tell me you’re upset about something, then we can’t work it out. That goes both ways, though, I suppose.” He purses his lips and draws his brow together. “I should have told you a long time ago why I backed off from us physically. I worried you’d get the wrong idea, though.”

  “You can tell me anything,” I assure him. “I’d rather know what you’re thinking than let my mind run with ideas. I can get creative with the worst-case scenarios.”

  He clears his throat several times and turns his gaze away from me. “I told you I’d wait until you’re ready for us to take things to a more physical level in our relationship, baby, and I still mean that. But, the more we kiss and the more I touch you, the harder it gets for me to pull away and calm down.” His eyes widen suddenly. “Not that I’d ever do anything you’re not ready for or even ask you to, I don’t mean that. I just mean I want you, but I don’t want to push you. I mean—”

  His rambling is adorable, but I cut him some slack. “I know, Caleb. I’m not worried about that.” I bite my lip as I consider my words carefully. It’s easier when he’s the nervous one. “Tell me if I’m wrong, but what I’m hearing is that you’re worried you’ll go too far with me, physically, so you’re holding back completely?”

  He swallows hard and nods. “It’s not easy to think straight when I’m just holding you, let alone kissing you and running my hands all over you.”

  As difficult as it is for me to talk about anything related to sex, I force myself to be honest with Caleb. “I don’t think I’m ready for us to complete our bond, yet.” Caleb opens his mouth, but I press a finger against his lips to stop him. “I need to get this out while I have the courage to say it.” I roll off of him and sit up.

  He follows my lead and sits up next to me, waiting silently for me to continue. After several deep breaths, I drop my gaze to my lap and dive in. “I want you, Caleb.” Aside from a strangled sound in the back of his throat, he remains completely silent. “I’m not ready to have sex, though. At least, I don’t think I am, and I want to wait until I know for sure. The other day when I met with the gods and goddesses, they talked about our bond. They said when our bond is complete, we’re supposed to gain abilities that far outweigh the ones the Fallen have. They didn’t say what they would be, but they said I’d know when the time was right for us to take that step.”

  It takes several beats, but I gain the courage to raise my eyes to meet his and find him watching me intently. “You know I’ll wait until you’re ready, baby. I swear, I’m not trying to push you into anything.”

  “I knew that already.” I give him a small smile and watch his shoulders relax. “I’m not worried about you going too far with me, Caleb. I’m more worried about allowing myself to get carried away, but maybe, I don’t need to worry about that.”

  His forehead wrinkles in confusion. “What do you mean?”

  I shrug. “I was told I’ll know when the time is right for us, and I think if I start to trust myself more, I will know. I already trust you not to do anything I don’t want to do. Maybe, I should trust myself to not do anything I don’t want to do, as well. I’m not sure if that makes sense.”

  He nods. “It does.”

  The two of us sit in silence as we mull everything over. Caleb drops his back against the headboard and holds his arm out, inviting me to lie with him.

  He breaks the silence as I rest my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around me and rests his hand on my hip. “So, where does this leave us?”

  “I think if I can trust you not to take things further than I’m willing to go, then you should trust me to tell you when we get to that point.” I shift my position to look up at him. “I don’t know what I’m comfortable with, other than what we’ve already done. I’ve liked everything so far. I can’t say what I do and don’t like other than that because I’ve never done anything else. But I promise to tell you when I’m not ready for something. Does that work for you?”

  Caleb studies me for a moment, then finally nods. “If you’re going to
stop and tell me when you’re not comfortable with whatever we’re doing, then I won’t have to worry about going too far without realizing it. I never want you to do something you’re not ready for because you’re trying to please me or make me happy.”

  “So,” I drag the word out while drawing circles on his chest with my fingertip, “does that mean you’ll start kissing me again?”

  He throws his head back and laughs loudly. “Yeah, baby, I’ll start kissing you again.”

  “Good.” I turn my head into his shoulder to hide my grin.

  “But not tonight,” he adds quietly.

  My head pops up, and my chin drops. Caleb’s mischievous smirk gives me pause from the slew of verbal complaints filtering through my head.

  He pushes my hair behind my ear and leans forward to kiss my forehead. “I’m going to wait until you’re not expecting it and make it an epic second first kiss.”

  I tilt my head to the side and blink several times. “How can there be a second first kiss? Wouldn’t it just be another kiss?”

  “Nope.” He pops the p and shakes his head for emphasis. “It’s been too long since our last kiss, so we need to redo the first one.”

  “That doesn’t make any sense.” I giggle despite my confusion. “You’re sort of sounding like your sister right now.”

  Caleb feigns offense with a dramatic gasp. “Now, I’m definitely making you wait for the kiss.”

  “That would mean you have to wait longer, too,” I remind him.

  His mouth opens to retort, but realization dawns in his eyes. He snaps it shut again, then mock-glares at me. “You’re playing dirty, baby.”

  “I’m not doing anything.” I bat my lashes innocently. “I’m just trying to help you think your plan through.”

  He raises a brow in disbelief, but otherwise doesn’t respond. I feign ignorance and snuggle back down into the bed. Seconds after I settle into a comfortable position, his arm wraps around me and pulls my back to his front in a quick swoop that leaves me breathless.