Address for Murder

by Tonya Kappes

  I had made good on my promise. After Carla and I left Lee’s house, I called Amy Logsdon, delivered the rest of my route, and waited to call Luke on my way back. When I did, I told him who I was, since I was sure he didn’t have my number.

  “I’ve been waiting to see if you were going to call me,” Luke said.

  “I’m sorry, Luke. I honestly had no idea Lee had put me in his will.” There was no easy way around it.

  “Put you in it?” He scoffed. “He gave it all to you. The woman who had to be nice to him six days a week for what, ten minutes a day? An hour a week.”

  “Listen, I know this is hard for you, but I truly had no idea, and I’m happy to give you anything you’d like.” It spilled out of my mouth.

  “No matter what you say or offer, it doesn’t negate the fact that my uncle had no idea what it took for me to come see him and how much influence he had on me in collecting stamps. I only started to collect them to have something in common with the man.” There was such a bitterness in his voice, I knew there was no way he would be levelheaded and listen to me.

  “Trust me, I’m as shocked as you are, and fighting about it over the phone won’t get us anywhere.” I was trying to be calm and cool about it. “I understand you talked to Jigs Baker about his funeral and offered to still keep it as you had planned.”

  When I heard him babbling and stammering on the other end of the phone, I knew he was going to bellyache about the cost, so I headed him off at the pass.

  “If you want to keep it the same, I’m more than happy to do your wishes and foot the bill.” That stopped him from groaning.

  “You mean have the funeral tomorrow and the repass at my house?” he questioned.

  “Yes. That’s exactly what I mean.” I had finally made it back to the post office parking lot and none too soon. Mac was pulling up. “After the dust has settled, you and I can sit down to talk about Lee’s stuff and if there’s anything you’d like from his home.”

  I still wasn’t convinced he didn’t kill his uncle.

  “Just in time.” I hung up the phone and flipped off the lights. “And glad to get rid of this thing.”

  “You are so adorable in your outfit.” Mac touched my nose.

  “You know, I really like the romantic Mac more than the friend Mac.” I couldn’t stop myself. It was like there was some sort of pull from his lips to mine when we were around each other. I curled up on my toes and kissed him.

  “I like girlfriend Bernie way better than friend Bernie.” He pulled me closer, sealing his words.

  “Geez, is this what I’ve got to look at when we are all together?” Grady and Julia had walked up.

  “What are you two doing here?” I looked between them.

  “Julia had a doctor’s appointment.” Grady put an arm around her.

  “Oh no. I hope they figured out what’s wrong.” I couldn’t believe she’d been going to the doctor for a better part of three days straight and she still looked pale.

  “We thought the fresh air walking to the doctor’s appointment would do me good.” Julia smiled. “Looks like nothing is going to do good until nine months are up.”

  “Nine months?” I tried to think of any sickness that would take nine months. “Nine months!”

  “Yes.” Grady and Julia smiled widely.

  “Oh my God!” I screamed. “I’m going to be a grandmother!”

  I threw my arms around them both, squeezing them as tightly as I could.

  “I’m so sorry.” I jerked away once I realized I was hugging Julia so tight that I might be inadvertently suffocating my grandchild. “Oh my.” I started to cry. “My baby is having a baby.”

  “Mom.” Grady hugged me. “Don’t cry.”

  “It’s not sadness. I’m so thrilled for you two and for me.” I patted him on the back as he held me. “You two are going to be fantastic parents.”

  “We were going to wait and tell you at Sunday supper, but I guess Grady saw you and just exploded.” Julia’s tone was so happy.

  “Congratulations, man.” Mac put his hand out to shake Grady’s.

  “Handshake?” Grady laughed. “When did we get so formal?”

  The two men hugged and embraced each other. I even thought I saw Mac wipe away a tear, but I wasn’t going to bring it up. I knew Mac loved Grady as much as I loved Grady. He was there for Grady’s birth, and now he would be a big part of Grady’s child’s life, no matter what our future held.

  I let the three of them talk while I ran the mail cart inside and changed into some regular clothes that I’d kept in my locker at the post office. While I was in there, I opened the letter Lee had written me.

  Dear Bernadette,

  I wanted to thank you for the years you’ve been kind to me. You went above and beyond the duty of delivering my mail. On countless occasions when I wasn’t feeling well, you were kind to me by bringing me biscuits and soup, not to mention the coffee, to help brighten my day. You have been so kind to my little buddy, Buster, that it was only fitting to have him live with you. As for my house, well, you never complained about having to step over anything I deemed to be a treasure. You do know that when I worked for the garbage company, I did find delight in taking others’ trash home for a treasure. After all, we all need a home, and one man’s trash is my treasure. My home is no castle, but I figured one day that you and my neighbor up the road would get together and you might want to move out of that lonely farmhouse way on the outskirts of town. Maybe you should give that to your boy so he and his wife can raise their family there. Just a thought.

  Regardless, I find you a very kind soul. Not that my nephew Luke isn’t a good boy, but he only cares about money, and I have no doubt he’ll be just fine without me. Not that I don’t think you’ll be fine, but I kind of reckon I feel like I ought to take care of you as you have of me. And you see fit to whatever you want to do with my belongings.

  I have a very rare stamp that I’ve been meaning to sell. I’ve been in contact with a philatelist for years about it. I’ve not pulled the trigger on selling it quite yet as I’m writing you this letter. But I’ve left his business card in the envelope for you to contact. I reckon the stamp is worth a lot of money, and I reckon you could use it, seeing you’re single and all.

  I couldn’t stop smiling. I could hear Lee’s voice as I read the letter. He went on to say how he really appreciated me and hoped I’d one day make something of what he left me and not squander it on something silly. I folded the card up and put it back in the envelope. I also took out the business card of Isiah Blackwell, the philatelist.

  I decided to make a quick call.

  “Hi, Isiah. My name is Bernadette Butler,” I said into the voicemail. “I am the beneficiary of Lee Macum, and he left your name to call about a stamp. I’m not really sure what type of stamp I’m looking for in Lee’s home. So I’d appreciate a call back so we can discuss this further.”

  I put the phone in my jean pocket and headed back out to meet the rest of my group so we could hurry over to the diner to hear if Sugar Gap Creek won the Make Kentucky Colorful spring campaign.

  “Are you telling people?” I asked them on our way over to the Wallflower Diner where Carla would announce if we won. My mom and dad were also hosting Carla’s retirement party.

  “We weren’t, but I’m not sure if Grady can keep it a secret.” Julia had a faint glow of pregnancy to her. Or maybe it was the look of satisfaction that she knew what was going on with her body.

  We passed Social Knitwork.

  “Are you taking classes from Leotta?” I questioned.

  “I am. It was strange.” Julia curled her arm in mine while the men walked behind us. “I was having some sort of desire to make a blanket, and I don’t have a crafty bone in my body. Grady suggested a knitting class, and I jumped on it.”

  “Now we know why you had that feeling.” I wanted to touch her belly so bad, but I didn’t. “Do you know how far along you are?”

  “They said close to twelve
weeks, and my body didn’t even let me know it.” She rolled her eyes. “But they say things are fine. The morning sickness should start to subside soon.”

  “I’m so happy.” I snuggled up to her as we walked into the diner, which was filled with everyone we knew awaiting the big news.

  “You’re just in time.” Iris had her eagle eyes on the door, waiting for us. “Carla just got the call.” She pointed to the far corner where Carla was hunched over with the phone up to her ear.

  “Your cake looks amazing.” I couldn’t stop looking at the dessert table that Pie in the Face, Iris’s bakery and pie shop, had catered for the event.

  The retirement cake Iris had made was a very cool suitcase cake with another small cake decorated like the globe and another cake on top of that. A big chocolate scripted mold atop the last cake read CONGRATULATIONS.

  “Trust me, Carla knew exactly what she wanted.” Iris’s brows rose, then they lowered. “You have been having….” Her eyes slid to Mac. “Oh my goodness, Bernie!”

  “Are you two okay?” Mac walked up and asked, not realizing what he walked into.

  “You two,” Iris gasped and wagged a finger between us.

  “Stop it.” I pushed her finger down.

  “Yes. Iris. We two.” Mac grinned hugely. “She’s fantastic, and you’re going to have to share her more with me.”

  Iris rubbed her hands together and started to give us some of her words of unwanted wisdom, but we were saved by Carla’s much-awaited announcement.

  “First, I’d like to thank everyone who did exactly everything I had asked. Unfortunately, Sugar Creek Gap didn’t win the statewide award, but know that I couldn’t’ve had a better send-off for my retirement.” Carla’s words fell over the crowd like a heavy blanket.

  “Congratulations to Carla. We are so lucky to have had you as the beautification president all of these years.” Iris always knew how to break a silence and bring a little cheer. “This is really a retirement party. So be sure you go grab your plate of food, and then we will be celebrating with cake!” Iris encouraged everyone to eat then turned to me and whispered, “Everything is better with cake.”

  “I’d like to skip the food and go straight for that cake,” I said.

  “No way. You’ve got a man now. You need to keep in shape.” Iris and I started to laugh hard.

  “It looks like someone is having a good time.” Sheriff Angie said when she and Luke walked up. My suspicions about the two of them looked to be true. Maybe they didn’t have a full relationship, but there was something brewing.

  “We were just saying how we’d much rather go straight to the cake instead of the food.” Iris was so quick witted, and I loved that about her.

  “Luke.” I gave him a soft smile to gauge where we stood.

  “Bernadette.” He clasped his hands behind his back and rocked back on his heels.

  “I can see I was wrong about Carla,” I told Angie when Luke had moved over to talk to Mac. “I did hear it was rat poison.”

  Angie mouth opened, then she shut it, then she opened it again, waiting a few seconds before she spoke.

  “I guess you would know that now that you’re Lee’s beneficiary.” She looked at me. “Maybe I should ask you if you had access to rat poisoning.”

  “Really? Are you joking me?” I rolled my eyes. “Not me, but I know Walter Ward had a big ol’ bottle of it spraying for rats over at Mac’s house, which he’s trying to sell, and it just so happens to be next to Lee’s house.”

  I planted the seed. She looked as cool as a cucumber. But I could tell she was noodling over what I had said. I knew Angie so well that I could probably vomit what she was thinking word for word. And I had her thinking about Walter Ward having rat poison right next to the crime scene.

  “I don’t know if he did it or not, but I did hear him arguing with Lee when I was delivering the mail. Lee was very upset and told me he wanted everyone to leave him alone.” I sighed as if I were just having a conversation with an old friend. No stress. “Say, do you know if your deputies picked up Lee’s stamp collection? I can’t find them anywhere.”

  “We didn’t take any stamps, as far as I can recall.” She folded her arms, cutting herself off from the world when Walter walked up.

  “Just the woman I want to see,” Walter told me in greeting. “I understand you’re the owner of Lee Macum’s house.”

  “I guess now that she owns my uncle’s house, you don’t have time for my phone calls.” Luke hurried over when he saw Walter. “You are pathetic. You know, they call you an ambulance chaser, and now I see why.”

  The room fell silent. All eyes were on Luke and Walter.

  “Listen, you’re the one who called me about the house when you thought Lee was going to the nursing home.” Walter wasn’t about to take Luke’s accusations lying down. “You’re the one who needs a quick buck.”

  “It looks like to me you need the quick buck by going after the house with her.” Luke jerked a finger at me. “And my uncle died of rat poison. I think I heard something about you spraying rat poison at the house next to my uncle’s. Did you spray it down his throat?”

  “Why don’t we take this down to the station.” A collective gasp waved across the room when Angie grabbed both men by the elbow and dragged them out the door.

  SEVENTEEN

  The little kerfuffle among Luke, Walter, and Angie during what was to be the celebratory party for Sugar Creek Gap’s big number-one win for the Make Kentucky Colorful, which turned out to be a thank-you-so-much-for-your-service-type of retirement party for Carla, transformed that celebration into a gossip session about whether Luke or Walter killed Lee.

  The news of my new grandchild also made for a good topic of conversation. Everyone found out when Julia had the worst bout of morning sickness and couldn’t even make it into the bathroom. Mac had been amazing when I told him I was going to go home and get my things ready for the funeral and repass.

  Mom had already made several different casseroles to bring, and I couldn’t help but ask if she’d make her famous homemade rainforest crackers to go with the homemade chicken noodle soup in honor of Lee. Lee loved Mom’s chicken noodle soup, and he always ordered extra rainforest crackers to go with it.

  Buster and Rowena were fast asleep after I made it home. Buster ran out the door to do his business and wanted to sit and look at me when we got in bed. Rowena barely looked my way as if I were disturbing her beauty sleep. Thankful for both of my fur babies and also grateful for Grady, Julia, and my new grandbaby, I fell fast asleep, only to wake up later to the beeping alarm.

  “Time to go potty,” I told Buster, who’d already jumped out of the bed and waited for me to get up before he darted down the hall to the kitchen. I glanced over at Rowena, and her slit eyes told me she wasn’t about to get up.

  On my way down the hall, I flipped on the shower so my water would be nice and hot, grabbed my phone from the counter, and let Buster out the door. I quickly texted Monica to make sure she was still okay with taking my route today. Instead of her texting me back, she called.

  “Good morning,” I greeted her and was very grateful she was always willing to help out.

  “Hey, Bernie. I’m sorry to call you, but I can’t seem to find your key to your locker.” I had given Monica one of the extra keys to my locker because I had kept really detailed notes in there about various pets I’d encountered along my route as well as who could have a treat, who couldn’t, and who might bite.

  I also had kept a log about the customers and little details about them so I could make their experiences a little more personal when I delivered their mail. I quickly grabbed my key ring and noticed I had an extra one on there.

  “Let me grab a shower and I’ll be there to give you another one,” I told her.

  “Oh no. I don’t want you to have to come this early.”

  “It’s fine. I was up and going to go to the diner to see if my mom needed any help getting any of the food over to Luke’s
house for the repass. I’ll be right down.” I opened the door to let Buster back in.

  It never really took me too long to get ready, but today I did apply makeup and fix my hair. Normally I’d never look in the mirror and call myself pretty, but today I felt pretty. Though it was a sad day, I felt so much joy inside. Not only because Lee had left me a wonderful letter but also because my life seemed to be becoming whole with Mac and now the baby entering my life.

  I had decided to wear a black pant suit with a red scarf tied around my neck for a pop of color, figuring the pants would be a lot more comfortable than a dress and stockings. These days, I was more about comfort, and it was about Lee Macum.

  Thinking about Lee made me wonder about Luke and Walter.

  When I got into the car, I quickly texted Luke asking if there was anything I could do for him at the house before the repass.

  “Good morning,” I answered my phone without looking at the caller ID.

  “Bernadette Butler?” The deep voice caught me off guard.

  “Yes?” I questioned.

  “This is Isiah Blackwell, the philatelist. I received your call. Is it too early to talk?” he questioned.

  “No. As a matter of fact, I’m on my way into town for Lee’s funeral at ten this morning.” I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to tell a man I didn’t know exactly what I was doing. “Thank you for getting back to me.”

  “It’s a shame that I never got to make the transaction with Lee. I’d been hounding him for years to get the stamp to complete my collection.” Isiah had a very nice laugh on the other end of the line that made me smile. “He could be a picky man. One day he wanted to sell it to me, and the next day he did not.”

  “He definitely had a mind of his own. I’m actually his mail carrier, and we’d gotten to know each other over the course of the ten years.” I started to go down memory lane like most people did when someone died.

  “Then you know how much he loved that Pan-American stamp. I know there are several in the collection, but he has the one I need.” Isiah had told me what to look for.