Leaving Paradise

by Simone Elkeles

Page 15

 

  And, for the second time since hes been back, he reaches out to touch me.

  TWENTY-ONE

  Caleb

  I swear, my leg almost just gave out on me. Because the last person I expected to answer the door to Mrs. Reynolds house was Maggie Armstrong wearing a ridiculous, oversized dress with pink and green flowers plastered all over it.

  I try and grab her arm when she loses her balance, but Im too late. Once on the floor, she refuses my outstretched hand.

  "Wh . . . What are you doing here?"

  "What are you doing here?" I ask.

  "I work here after school," she says while trying to pretend shes content to stay sprawled on the floor.

  I quickly shove my Justice Department ID in my back pocket. I double-check the address again before saying, "Im here to see a Mrs. Reynolds. This is her house, isnt it?" Maggies hatred is evident in her stare. "Listen, seeing you here is a surprise to me, too," I say. "The manager at The Trusty Nail sent me. This ladys house is the next job site on the list. "

  I watch as Maggie pulls herself up. Its painful, I can tell just by watching her fingers curl into a tight fist.

  God, watching her struggle is making me sick to my stomach. Because I indirectly did this to her. "Im sorry," I say.

  "Tell it to the judge," she mumbles.

  "I did," I respond truthfully. Not that it mattered to Judge Farkus. The guy wanted to make me an example for all delinquents who drank then got behind the wheel of a car. "What do you want from me, Maggie?"

  "I want you to leave. "

  "I cant," I tell her.

  An old lady appears from the back of the house and shuffles to the door. "You must be from the community service program," she says.

  "Yes, maam. " I introduce myself and hand her my community service ID for inspection. Its a requirement to show it before entering a house.

  Mrs. Reynolds scans my ID, then hands it back. "Well, come on in. This heres Margaret, my companion. Margaret this is . . . what did you say your name was again?"

  "Caleb. "

  Mrs. Reynolds tells Maggie, "Caleb is going to help us. Show him to the attic and explain our project while I check on some cookies I have baking in the oven. "

  I set my backpack on the ground after Mrs. Reynolds is out of sight. "Another awkward situation, huh?"

  Maggie is as still as a statue.

  "I wish you never came back," she says quietly, hugging herself.

  Im tempted to leave and face Damons wrath for ditching community service, but I wont. Im stuck here with her.

  "Im not going anywhere until I finish this job for the lady. "

  Maggies eyes widen. Her mouth opens and closes, but no words come out. She turns around and walks farther into the house.

  I silently follow her up a narrow staircase on the second floor to the attic.

  Maggie points to a box. "That needs to be thrown out. Ill put boxes there and you can dispose of them. "

  I nod.

  We work in silence. Maggie places the boxes in the discard pile and I carry them down the stairs. Mrs. Reynolds has me stuff the boxes in huge garbage bags and then lug them to the recycle bin at the end of the driveway.

  Mrs. Reynolds comes out of the kitchen and hands me a plate of cookies. "Here, bring these up to the attic. You and Maggie can share them while you work. "

  I enter the attic for what seems like the hundredth time today with the cookies in hand. Maggie throws a box in my direction, but I move out of the way to avoid it. It was intentional, no doubt about it. "Watch it, will ya?" I drop the plate on a trunk in the middle of the attic.

  She turns her back to me and ignores the plate.

  Maggie thinks shes the only victim in this whole mess. But I have to keep my cool. No matter what happens, I cant let her get under my skin and let the truth come out.

  "Listen, Maggie, it was an accident. If I could take back that day, I would. If I could turn back time, I would. "

  She turns to me now, her head tilted to the side. "Tell me, Caleb. Why does your apology sound so hollow to me?"

  I stand, speechless, as she takes the plate of cookies and leaves the attic. Why cant this be easy? I pick up the next box and dont look up until all the boxes are trashed.

  Maggie leaves Mrs. Reynolds house first, but I stay behind. The old lady is in the backyard when I hand her the completion sheet and pen. "Thanks for letting me work here," I say.

  "My husband, Albert, may he rest in peace, felt it important to help out the less fortunate. Dont get me started on the juvenile justice system or well be here for weeks. You did a good job today. "

  I flash her a smile of appreciation.

  She starts to sign the form, but stops herself. "It says here you have experience in construction. You know . . . I may have another job for you. That is, if youre up to it. "

  "What kind of job?"

  "How good are you with your hands?"

  "Better than most," I say, then chuckle.

  The old lady points to a tall pile of lumber stacked in the corner of the backyard. "Okay, Mr. Better-Than-Most. You think you could build me a gazebo out of this pile of old wood? You do know what a gazebo is, dont you?"

  Yeah, I know what one is. Building a gazebo will take at least a couple of weeks, probably even fill up enough time to finish my community service.

  What am I thinking? I cant work with Maggie. No way. It would never work.

  Although its not like Id actually be working with her. Ill be on my own, building the gazebo. The way Mrs. Reynolds is looking at me with confidence strengthens my bruised ego. Im not thinking about Maggie. Im not thinking about whats right or wrong. I blurt out, "I can do it. " I should be honest with the lady and tell her about why I was convicted. And, more importantly, who I was convicted of hitting. "Mrs. Reynolds, I have to be honest with you . . . "

  As if on cue, the phone rings. The old lady takes her cane and hurries into the house. "Just come back tomorrow and well finish our conversation then. "

  So now I run to catch the bus because Im late. When I get on, Maggie is sitting up front so I head for the rear.

  The fifteen-minute bus ride seems like an hour. At our stop, were the only two left on the bus. We get off and I let her lead the way while I follow behind.

  My sister is outside. The expression on her face when she sees Maggie and me walking up the street together is priceless.

  "Did you just come home with Maggie?" Leah asks, following me into the house.

  "We were on the same bus. Dont get all hyped up about it. "

  "Dont get all hyped up about what?" my mom says, coming into the room in the middle of a conversation I dont want her to know anything about.

  "Its nothing," I tell Mom, then narrow my eyes at my sister and say through clenched teeth so only she can hear, "so stop making a big deal about it. "

  Leah runs up to her room and slams her door shut. My mom goes back into the kitchen, totally oblivious.

  The Beckers are a picture-perfect family. A picture-perfect, royally-fucked-up family.

  TWENTY-TWO *** Maggie

  On Monday I head for the bus after school. As I step into the aisle, I catch sight of Caleb already sitting in the back. It was bad enough working side by side in that small attic last week. If I have to work with him again Ill quit.

  But then I wont be going to Spain.

  And if I dont go to Spain, I wont be leaving Paradise next semester.

  And if I dont leave Paradise next semester, Caleb and his friends will be laughing all the way to prom while I sit home and prove them right.

  Maybe hes not going to Mrs. Reynolds house today and Im going off on unnecessary tangents for no reason.

  Maybe hes working somewhere else doing odd jobs. But as he follows me into Mrs. Reynolds backyard, my fears are realized.

  "Now come inside, both of you. Irina brought over some pie. " Mrs. Reynolds walks into the house, not realizing that
neither me nor Caleb has followed her.

  "Took you long enough," Mrs. Reynolds says when I enter the kitchen. "Here, I cut some pie for both of you. "

  I sit down at the kitchen table and stare at the pie. Normally Id dig right in, but I cant. Caleb walks in and sits across from me. I focus my attention in the opposite direction, as if the painting of the fruit bowl on the wall is the most interesting object Ive ever laid eyes on.

  "Margaret, remember you told me I should have that gazebo built?"

  "Yeah," I answer cautiously.

  Mrs. Reynolds holds her chin up. "Well, Caleb is going to help make that a reality. It may take a few weeks, but--"

  A few weeks? "If he stays, I quit," I blurt out. A few weeks?

  I hear the clink of Calebs fork hitting the plate, then he stands and storms out of the room.

  Mrs. Reynolds puts her hands on either side of her face and says, "Margaret, what is all this nonsense about you quitting? Why?"

  "I cant work with him, Mrs. Reynolds. He did this to me," I cry.

  "Did what, child?"

  "I went to jail for hitting Maggie with my car while I was drunk," Caleb says, reappearing in the doorway.

  Mrs. Reynolds makes some tsking noises, then says, "My, my, we are in a pickle, arent we?"

  I look up at Mrs. Reynolds with pleading eyes. "Just make him leave. "

  I can tell shes going to do it, shes going to tell Caleb to get out.

  Mrs. Reynolds walks up to Caleb and says, "You have to understand that my first priority is Margaret. Ill call the senior center and have them contact your community service officer. "

  "Please, Mrs. Reynolds," Caleb tells her, his voice pleading. "I just want to finish the job and just. . . be free again. "

  Mrs. Reynolds looks back at me, her wise eyes telling me more than words could say. Forgive.

  I cant forgive. Ive tried. If hed innocently lost control of the car and hit me, it would have been forgivable. I dont know how innocent the accident was. God, I cant believe in my heart of hearts he deliberately hit me with the car. But too many questions have gone unanswered.

  Questions I want to remain unanswered.

  They said he left me lying in the street as if I were an animal. That is unforgivable. I dont know if I can ever get over it.

  Because it reminds me too much of what my father did. He left me without looking back. And worse, Caleb destroyed the one chance I had to impress my dad. I push my way past Caleb and head to the attic, a place thats dark, secluded, and private. Im not even thinking about black widow spiders as I open the attic door and hobble inside.

  Gosh, I used to worship the ground Caleb walked on. He was tall, handsome . . . clearly one of the populars, where Leahs and my status teetered on the edge. As if that wasnt enough, nothing ever bothered the guy. Maybe its because guys like him always get what they want, they never have to work hard for anything. Maybe, deep down, Im glad hes having a hard time. And deep down I know its selfish for me to think this way. I shouldnt thrive on someone elses unhappiness.

  But as the saying goes, misery likes company. And I feel miserable, inside and out. Isnt it fair that the person whos miserable with me is the guy who made me this way?

  Mrs. Reynolds followed me, I can tell by the powdery scent that travels with her.

  "This is a mighty interesting place to hide out. I thought you were afraid of spiders. "