Before You Say I Do

by Clare Lydon

She touched her fingertips to her still-hot lips.

  Yes, it really had.

  Chapter 21

  Breakfast had been one of the most awkward meals she’d ever endured. Jordan had focused on making sure everyone was fed and watered, on talking to the staff and giving them a tip, on finding Gloria’s stories fascinating. Luckily, she and Abby had flown under the radar with ease. First, because nobody suspected a thing. Second, because Delta and Nikita disappearing and spending the night together had proved the hot topic of conversation. Delta was Jordan’s new favourite person.

  She’d been friendly but professional with Abby. Even though, inside she’d been a bundle of frayed nerve endings and conflicted emotions.

  Jordan knew what she wanted.

  She was also well aware it was something she couldn’t possibly have.

  Now they were heading back home. As Jordan walked up the short flight of steps to the jet that would take them back to London, she juggled the pieces of the weekend in her head. However, when she tried to lay them out and piece them together, she drew a blank.

  In her mind, they fitted. But only there.

  She’d got to know Abby a whole lot better.

  She’d shared her hopes and dreams with her.

  Then she’d kissed the bride. It wasn’t an extra she should ever include on her website.

  Jordan clutched the handrail, following Gloria’s pert bum. Like mother, like daughter.

  Really not helpful.

  “Good afternoon, ladies!” Captain Michelle gave them a wide smile. “I hope you’ve had a fantastic time in Cannes, and that you were given a hen weekend to remember?” She aimed the final part at Abby, who was at the top of the stairs, in front of her mum.

  Abby nodded. “It was incredible,” she said, glancing behind. “Mum, Delta, Jordan, everyone.” Abby’s gaze landed on Jordan and her cheeks coloured pink. “It’s been a weekend to remember.” Abby walked onto the plane.

  Jordan wouldn’t argue with that summation. Now they just had to get through the final trip home, before they could finally spend some time apart and try to work out how to handle this situation on their own. There was no handbook. They were going to have to write it themselves.

  Jordan nodded at Michelle as she passed her, taking in her starched uniform and shiny shoes. Had she been in the army before becoming a regular pilot? Or did they teach similar skills at pilot school, too? It was nice to have her mind focus on a different issue to the one that had overwhelmed her all weekend. However, once she was in the plane and breathing in Abby’s floral perfume that was lingering in the air, that all came crashing down.

  She came to a halt near the front of the plane, hovering in the aisle between Abby and Gloria.

  “Feel free to sit with your mum on the way back if you like.” Jordan smiled at Gloria, then glanced back down the plane to where Delta was sitting next to Nikita. They looked every inch the couple they proclaimed they were not. “Looks like she’s been dumped by her travel buddy.”

  Gloria smiled, reaching down to plump up her travel pillow. “I wouldn’t sit next to me.” She held up her pillow. “I have my trusty friend here, and I plan to pull up my arm rest and lie down for the flight.” She tapped Jordan’s arm. “You sit with Abby. You know what she’s like on take-off. You can hold her hand.” She gave her a wink and turned her attention to getting comfortable.

  Okay. She was going to have to call on all her professional qualities for this one. She glanced at Abby, who was busying herself putting her hand luggage in the overhead lockers, studiously ignoring Jordan.

  Maybe this could work out. If they just agreed to ignore each other the whole flight, they could get through it no problem.

  “You want the window, or the aisle?” Even talking to Abby was strained. As if they were speaking a different language. As if they had nothing in common at all.

  Abby stilled at Jordan’s words. “I’ll take the aisle.” She sat, and stared straight ahead.

  Jordan stowed her hand luggage, then sat beside her. She fiddled with her phone, ignoring the texts from Karen asking how it was going with her ‘hot bride’. Jordan wanted to respond with a scream emoji, but then she’d have to explain it to Karen. Better to leave it until she got home and could unravel the full extent to her best friend then.

  That she’d done the wrong thing. That she wasn’t sure how to fix it. That she wasn’t sure she wanted to fix it.

  Jordan put her phone on flight mode, then put it in the pocket on the wall in front of her. She stretched out her legs, wriggling her toes. The silence between her and Abby was deafening. After all the chats they’d had. All the laughs.

  Then one kiss.

  Now, there was nothing.

  Emotion swelled inside Jordan, taking her by surprise. She already missed what they’d had. What they’d built between them this weekend, however brief it had been. Because it had been something. Even before the kiss, they’d had a rapport, a frisson. A connection. After the kiss, that had only increased. Except it couldn’t.

  Jordan’s heart was in pieces. There was no lotion or potion she could use to make herself feel better. That was the thing with heartbreak, whatever size. You had to feel it. There was no cure.

  Sitting beside the person who’d just wrecked you was definitely not the thing to do. But Jordan didn’t have a choice.

  Michelle made the announcement they were ready to leave, and the plane began to taxi along the runway.

  Jordan glanced Abby’s way. Her face was pale, her gaze glued straight ahead. She was clutching her armrest so hard, her knuckles were white. When they’d flown over, Jordan had taken Abby’s hand at this point. But now there was an invisible barrier between them, it wasn’t so easy.

  However, Jordan was still on the clock. She was still getting paid to make Abby’s weekend as good as it could possibly be. She’d already overstepped the mark on that one. Perhaps she should overstep their invisible barrier now and make Abby’s flight that little bit more bearable. They might not be talking to each other, but they could still communicate.

  Jordan took a deep breath, and wrapped her fingers around Abby’s.

  Abby’s head jerked, and she went to pull her hand away.

  Jordan let go. She wasn’t going to force her if she didn’t want to.

  However, seconds later, Abby glanced at Jordan and their eyes locked.

  Desire and despair flowed down Jordan. She gave Abby a sad smile.

  Abby returned it, before she wrapped her fingers around Jordan’s and squeezed tight. She held on until the plane had taken off, gripping until Jordan felt the blood supply might soon be cut off. She didn’t say a word. Once they were airborne, Abby stopped squeezing so tight, but still held on.

  There was far less chatter on the way back, everyone tired after a packed weekend. When Jordan turned around, everyone had their eyes closed, lulled by the engine’s gentle rhythms. Gavin came up to Jordan, tapping her on the arm.

  “I just wanted to ask, do you want me to do trolley service? Everyone’s either asleep or resting their eyes, and I don’t want to disturb them.”

  Jordan shook her head. “Don’t bother. If they want something, they can press their call button.”

  Gavin nodded. “Do you want anything while I’m here?”

  Jordan glanced at Abby, who shook her head. “We’re good, thanks.”

  Jordan pressed her head into the back of her seat, just as Abby began stroking the pad of her thumb up and over the back of Jordan’s right hand.

  The desire that had been like a car idling at the side of the road revved up. As Abby moved her thumb left and right, a tingle spread through Jordan, starting at her clit and booming out through her body. Damn, she was in trouble.

  She glanced at Abby, holding her gaze. She dropped down to Abby’s lips, and then back up, shaking her head.

  She shouldn’t wind herself up like this. But Abby had started it, hadn’t she? Or had Jordan?

  It didn’t matter in the end. From t
he heated stare Abby was giving her, she knew she felt it too. Whatever it was. This thing between them was growing bigger by the second.

  Heat swirled in Jordan, and suddenly, it was too much.

  The fasten seatbelt sign went off.

  Jordan unclipped her seatbelt and stood, throwing Abby a pained look. She had to calm down and get away. It was all too much.

  She took a deep breath, walking unsteadily down the aisle, passing the rest of the oblivious hens.

  When Jordan looked back, Abby was standing and staring.

  Then she strode towards her.

  What the hell was she doing?

  Abby had no idea. It was as if her legs were propelling her to an action she had no control over, and her conscience was absent without leave.

  Something bigger than her was at work. Some greater power. Something that knew far more than she did.

  Jordan opened the toilet door, and when she turned, did a double-take. “What are you…” she began.

  However, as Abby followed her into the toilet and shut the door, the words died on Jordan’s lips.

  Desire thrummed through Abby as she slid the lock on the door across with a definite clunk. The noise was deafening. It was also decisive. That one lock sealing their fate.

  Their mouths hadn’t touched, but Abby was excruciatingly aware of Jordan. Those crystal-blue eyes watching her. The air dripped with delicious tension. Was this a mistake? She didn’t know. All she knew was she was sick of feeling bad. Especially when being with Jordan felt so good.

  Abby locked her gaze with Jordan and like two magnets drawn together, they moved as one, their mouths fusing in a beautiful, forceful way.

  Jordan’s kiss was bruising, exactly what Abby wanted.

  She was done pussyfooting around. If she didn’t act now, she never would. This was her hen weekend. The last chance to dream. The final chance to push her limits, before she settled down.

  She was going out in a blaze of glory.

  “Abby.”

  The way Jordan said her name sent tingles up and down her spine.

  Abby silenced her with a bruising, burning kiss. “I want you,” she replied. “Do you want me, too?”

  Jordan nodded.

  This was what they both wanted.

  She pushed up Jordan’s top, and snapped open the back of her bra. Her breasts were right there in front of her. Just as they had been in the hot tub. But this time, she was going to act on it.

  Abby sucked Jordan’s nipple into her mouth. Desire flooded her.

  She pressed her feet into the ground, to stop herself from lifting off. Because that’s what this felt like. Like her passion was rocket-fuelled, on another level. She swirled her tongue around Jordan’s breast.

  Jordan sucked in a breath.

  Abby lifted her head and their gazes met.

  Her hands moved swiftly then, undoing Jordan’s beige shorts and pushing them down her legs. Jordan was wearing a pair of black lacy knickers. Somehow, Abby hadn’t expected that. But it only added a little more fuel to the fire.

  She slid a single finger inside them, and ran it though Jordan’s hot core.

  Another growl.

  Abby kissed her again, before she shed those too, and spread Jordan’s legs with her thigh. She was just going on instinct, and pure animal attraction. She wanted to know Jordan intimately. Inside and out. There was only one way to do that.

  Abby pulled her lips temporarily away and locked their gaze.

  Then she slid two fingers inside Jordan. Just as she had in her dream.

  Nothing could have prepared her for this moment. Jordan was so ready, so wet. Just like Abby. They’d been fighting their attraction all weekend, and for good reason. But right now, in this moment, nothing could have felt more right. As Abby sank deeper into Jordan and their mouths found each other again, Abby abandoned any sense that she might have control over this.

  She had none.

  With her fingers inside Jordan and Jordan’s tongue inside her, this moment felt like the pinnacle of her life so far. What she’d been driving towards all along, even though she’d been totally unaware of it. As Jordan clung to her, shifting her right leg up and around Abby, they rocked together as one. Abby sliding in and out. Jordan moving her hips, arching her back, crying out, then stopping, realising where she was.

  Their eyes locked.

  A fleeting thought of stopping before they were found out skated across Abby’s mind. But then she looked at them in the large toilet mirror. She couldn’t stop. She was in too deep. Literally and metaphorically.

  Jordan grabbed Abby’s shoulders, and pulled her close to rest her head on Abby’s shoulder.

  “You feel so good,” she said. She reached down and placed Abby’s thumb onto her clit. Jordan moved Abby’s thumb in small circles. She closed her eyes as she did, and let out an almost inaudible gasp. “Just like that,” she said, before removing her hand.

  Abby didn’t need telling twice. As she fucked Jordan, she marvelled at the effect she had on her. Also, at her utter beauty in this moment. Abby had never felt so alive. So in the moment. So herself. She circled Jordan’s clit as instructed, picking up speed and pressure to Jordan’s movements. Jordan was perfection in her hands.

  Moments later Abby curled her fingers into Jordan and watched as she toppled over the edge.

  Jordan clutched Abby’s fingers inside her.

  Perfection was rewritten.

  Jordan panted, her cheeks flushed, her blond hair framing her face exquisitely. This was the Jordan-face she’d been dreaming about. She couldn’t believe her dreams had come true. Or that she’d joined the mile-high club in the process.

  Abby pressed her lips to Jordan’s once more. Electricity flared inside her. This is what her life had been missing. She eased her fingers out, never dropping Jordan’s gaze. She had no idea what Jordan’s stare was saying, but it was loaded — with desire, with want, with questions. Abby didn’t have any answers. All she knew was that she wanted Jordan to strip off her clothes and take her right now.

  Jordan pulled back after a few moments, eyeing Abby. She was still mostly naked, her hands clutching the sink. She let her head drop backwards. “Fucking hell, Abby. What are you doing to me?”

  Abby had no words.

  She had no idea anymore.

  She ran a hand up the back of Jordan’s thigh, over her pert bum, then up her back, before kissing her breasts.

  Jordan brought her gaze back to her.

  “I’ve no idea,” Abby said. “But that was incredible. I want to do it again and again.”

  A knock on the door interrupted their conversation.

  Jordan jolted.

  Abby froze. A siren went off in her head. She glanced at Jordan, and saw her own horrified expression reflected back in the bathroom mirror.

  “Abby? Are you in there?” It was Mum.

  Jordan reached down and pulled up her knickers and shorts, cracking her head on the sink in the process.

  That would have hurt, but Jordan didn’t utter a word. She was probably holding her breath.

  Abby knew she was. “Just coming!”

  Abby’s voice was breezy. In utter contrast to her world, which was crashing down before her. From being the best decision, now she was wondering if it was the absolute worst of her life. She’d just fucked her bridesmaid on her hen weekend. With everyone she knew and loved in earshot. Who the hell was she? What the hell was she doing? And how was she going to explain this to her mum when they walked out?

  “Everything okay?” Gloria asked, concern etched in her voice. “You’ve been gone a while.”

  Hadn’t she been going to sleep? “It’s fine. I wasn’t feeling well. Jordan came to give me something to settle my stomach.” The lie fell from her lips so easily, even she was shocked.

  When she glanced up, Jordan gave her a nod. It was almost like she was too scared to speak, for fear of what might come out.

  “We’ll be out in a minute. You go back to your
seat.”

  A few seconds of silence. “If you’re sure?”

  “Positive, Mum.” Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.

  What had she done? And was it bad that despite it all, she just wanted to do it again? Abby turned, flattening herself against the door. Had they got away with it? Abby would have no idea until she looked into her mum’s eyes.

  “You think she believed us?”

  Jordan nodded. She turned to the mirror and fluffed her hair. “She has no reason not to. Unless you’re in the habit of fucking women when you’re 30,000 feet in the air?”

  “I’m not.” Abby let out a long sigh. “You okay?”

  Jordan turned, taking her hand. “I’m…” She paused. “I don’t know what I am. Horny. Confused. Overwhelmed. This was exactly what we’ve been trying to avoid all weekend, wasn’t it?”

  “It was.” She couldn’t deny it. They’d come so close, but then the thought of losing Jordan had been too much.

  It was her fault. Now she had to work out a way to fix it. Abby reached around Jordan, pumping some handwash and washing her hands. It felt crude to do it so soon. It brought her back to reality.

  “But now what? Can we carry on working together?” Jordan’s face clouded over.

  “I hope so?” But Abby had no idea. This wasn’t anything she’d bargained for. She grabbed some hand towels. “I don’t know. We have to get back out there now. Let’s talk tomorrow. Are you coming to London?”

  Jordan nodded. “That was the plan.”

  “Okay. Well let’s have lunch.” She leaned forward and kissed her. Lightly. Then more forcefully. Until Abby’s hands were tangled in Jordan’s hair, and she had to force herself to let go.

  “I don’t want to let you go. I can’t let you go.”

  Jordan closed her eyes. “You need to go.”

  Abby nodded. “I know. But I want you to know this isn’t over.”

  “It has to be, Abby. It can’t go anywhere.”

  Abby shook her head. She refused to believe that. Her feelings were just too strong. “I’m falling for you. We can’t just sweep this aside. I know you feel it, too.”

  Jordan stared at her. “I do,” she whispered.