Wandering Soul

by Steven Anderson

  Published by Steven J. Anderson

  © 2018 Steven J. Anderson

  All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law. For permissions contact:

  RuComm352@gmail.com

  Cover by Fiona Jayde.

  Interior Design by the Deliberate Page

  ISBN: 978-0-9991788-2-9

  Contents

  CHAPTER 1—SUMMER PLANS

  CHAPTER 2—STUCK

  CHAPTER 3—LEAVING HOME

  CHAPTER 4—WHO GOES THERE?

  CHAPTER 5—TARAKANA

  CHAPTER 6—MERRIMAC

  CHAPTER 7—ADRIFT

  CHAPTER 8—CHOICES

  CHAPTER 9—BODENS GATE

  CHAPTER 10—THE WARRENS

  CHAPTER 11—PARADISE

  CHAPTER 12—SAM

  CHAPTER 13—RUMORS OF WAR

  CHAPTER 14—LEAVING SOON FOR HOME

  CHAPTER 15—FIGHT OR FLIGHT

  CHAPTER 16—BODENS GATE

  CHAPTER 17—PLANS AND REALITY

  CHAPTER 18—TRYING TO STAY WARM

  CHAPTER 19—DOING MY BEST

  CHAPTER 20—MERRIMAC IS MY FRIEND

  CHAPTER 21—GALLA LUPANIO

  THE ELEPHANT SONG

  CHAPTER 1

  SUMMER PLANS

  My name is Mala Dusa, which means ‘little soul’ in the dialect of a corrupt and violent clan that lives in the Warrens of Bodens Gate, itself a corrupt and violent planet. My parents thought my name was cute, and maybe it was when I was six. When I turned sixteen it was just one more thing that set me apart. My dad usually calls me Dusa, which is a little better. My mom, my real mom, died when I was born, or more accurately, she died about ten minutes before I was born. She was killed by one of the clans in the Warrens while she was saving the life of the woman that became my stepmother, an event that made less sense to me as I got older.

  Don’t get me wrong though, I love Hannah and could not have asked for a better mother. But sometimes, especially after we moved to Earth from Dulcinea a few years ago, she would look at me and I’m sure she was seeing my mom. She would get this curious expression on her face when I would do something or say something a certain way, and then tip her head to the side and touch my hair, which is long and blonde, unlike her own short dark curls. Or she would just look at me, slight and thin as I am because of Mom’s low gravity genetic heritage from her home world of Dulcinea. Sometimes when we argued Hannah would call me Alice, my mom’s name.

  I knew there were things they weren’t telling me - about what happened when Hannah and Dad worked together for the Reunification Commission, about how my mom and dad came to be left alone on an abandoned planet for several months, about what happened to all three of them on Bodens Gate. Whenever I asked, my dad would look at Hannah and Hannah would look back at him and then he’d say, “Oh, you’ve heard all this before.” Then he’d tell me the same story with no details, the same story that didn’t match what my grandpa on Dulcinea told me or even the official history of the rebellion on Bodens Gate that started when all three of them were there.

  I needed answers, and Hannah and my dad wouldn’t give them to me. So I decided to leave.

  I started my campaign over dinner. It was the middle of May, near the end of my junior year and we were eating outside because my dad was pretending that the weather was warmer than it really was. I didn’t mind. My sweatshirt was warm and cold hamburgers taste as good to me as hot ones. Hannah was tolerating it because she knew Dad was enjoying himself and he let her sit closest to the fire pit.

  “So,” I started, “I’ve been thinking about what I want to do this summer.”

  “We’re going camping for a month in Colorado,” Dad answered quickly.

  “No,” I replied, “that’s you dragging us along on another geology field trip. What section of the Rockies do you need help mapping this time?”

  He smiled at me, because for some reason he likes it when I can see through him. “The fossil beds north of Kremmling. But I thought we could check out the universities in the area while we’re there. There are a couple of good engineering schools along the Front Range.”

  Not a bad carrot to dangle in front of me, but I was not to be dissuaded.

  “I want to spend break with Grandpa on Dulcinea. He’s sponsoring a new survey of the Margo Islands that starts about the same time the school term ends here and he said I could join for four weeks as an intern. No pay, but the University would pay for my passage.”

  “Didn’t you get enough of Dulcinea when we lived there for ten years? We’ve only been back on Earth for a short time. You should stay here, spend some time with your friends and then go to Colorado with us.”

  “Three years is not a short time. I can’t hardly remember what it looks like. And I don’t really have many friends here I want to spend time with. I’m not all that popular in case you hadn’t noticed.”

  “You could be if you tried,” Hannah offered. “Just because you’re smarter than all the other kids doesn’t mean you have to isolate yourself. Try taking an interest in what they like to do.”

  “Well, they like to get drunk on the weekends and have sex. Which activity do you think I should join in on?” I said it trying to shock her.

  “Who’s leading the Margo Islands survey?” Dad asked.

  “Marcus Wright. Grandpa says you know him. I think I met him a couple of times when you had him over. Big guy with a beard, right? He has a team of ten undergrads and a couple of graduate students. I sent him a note last week and he said I’d be welcome to join them. He said it would be a good experience for me and would help me grow up.” I smiled my best innocent smile while I watched Dad looking at his potato salad. He had met my mom on the Margo Islands and I always felt there was more to the story than them just shaking hands and saying hello.

  “What sort of accommodations–”

  Hannah cut him off. “Ted, just save time and say no. You know you’re not going to let her go to a tropical island with Marcus and a crew of teenagers from the University.”

  “No,” Dad said.

  Good. Part one of my plan was complete.

  I pouted for a few minutes and then said, “I also thought about interning with the Reunification Commission. RuComm has a program where I can work at the Academy doing staff work and then do a three week hop on board ship. Still no pay, but it would accrue credits for future tuition.”

  “Wouldn’t you have to commit to attending the Academy? I thought you’d decided not to do that.”

  “No, you decided that for me. Just because you and Hannah had a bad experience doing RuComm field work–”

  “Like almost dying three times and losing my best friend.”

  “Yes, but you still stayed with RuComm doing geologic research on Dulcinea for another ten years before you made us move to Earth. It can’t be that bad drifting from planet to planet doing science and helping to bring the Union back together.”

  Hannah was shaking her head and I would swear she was close to tears, something I had rarely seen.

  “What is it, Mom?” She likes it when I call her Mom.

  “Anything but RuComm field work. Even spending the summer here with your friends doing what they do would be better.” She sighed, took Dad’s hand, kissed it and they looked into each other’s eyes for a long time. “You’re old enough, Dusa. I’ll tell you a bedtime story after dinner, all right? Just promise me you’ll stay away from RuComm.”

  “OK, sure.” That was a little stronger of a response than I expected, but part two of my plan was completed. />
  I let it rest for a while, enjoying the music that Dad had let me pick and listening to the two of them talk about the day’s events. My friend’s parents don’t talk. They argue and they snipe at each other like they can hardly stand being in the same room together. Dad and Hannah talk and flirt and laugh. They make plans together and discuss what’s going on in the universe. Sometimes Hannah will get a wild look in her eyes and it will get reflected and magnified by Dad and I know that something in my life is about to change. Like the time my playground in the backyard got ripped out and replaced by a home observatory. I might be too old now for my swings and little climbing wall, but I still miss them.

  Even when they disagree it’s more the two of them solving a problem, not trying to solve each other. One of my earliest memories is of listening to them talking while I was lying in bed at night. It’s a comforting sound, knowing that your parents are still in love.

  When I felt I had waited long enough I told them, “I got a letter from Father Ryczek yesterday.” Father Ryczek ran the church’s Mission on Bodens Gate. He was old when my parents knew him so I always saw him as an ancient monk-like character still providing care and wisdom to the poor in the Warrens. Conditions there were better now since the Confederation had overthrown the former Central Government. Dad and Hannah, and maybe my mom, had been involved with the Union Commission that helped that happen. How much they had been involved was one of the mysteries I planned to solve, along with how my mom had really died.

  “How is the old man?” Dad asked. Hannah was studying me, waiting for what I would say next.

  “Good. Understaffed and overworked.”

  “He always says that.”

  “He also says to tell you that no one has been able to match you for keeping the old machinery running. Or making hash browns.” Dad had served at the Mission as handyman and cook for several months while Mom taught school. I have a picture he took of her standing with a bunch of kids covered in paint and glitter. The small bulge in her tummy was me.

  “I told him that I thought that I must have inherited your mechanical abilities and was planning on becoming an engineer,” I continued. “He said you and Hannah must be proud of me.”

  It was fully dark now and the only light was from the fire. Dad was looking at me, lost in remembrance, just like I had planned for him to be. Hannah was drumming her fingers on the table, angry.

  “So, Alice–” She cut herself off and I heard her say ‘damn it’ under her breath. “Mala Dusa Holloman, please tell me that you haven’t already signed a contract to spend your three month break in the god damned Warrens on Bodens Gate.”

  Dad looked surprised. “She can’t have signed a contract, she’s not of age.”

  “She was born on orbit above Bodens Gate so she has citizenship there,” Hannah reminded him. “Their age of consent is sixteen.”

  “Dusa, what did you do?”

  I answered, staring at was left of my hamburger. “I signed a contract with the church last week. They’ll cover transportation and food and lodging, and I get a small stipend. I wanted you to think it was a good idea before letting you know.”

  “I told you,” Hannah said to my dad, “I told you she was spending too much time with Grandpa Vandermeer, learning how to plan and scheme and manipulate. We should have left there when she was five, not thirteen.” She turned to me and her eyes were cold, unlike anything I’d ever seen in her before. “You are not your mother. You may look like her, but your brain,” she tapped my head, “works like your dad’s and I can read both of you like words on a display pad. Do you understand me?”

  I nodded weakly. Grandpa was not going to be proud of me.

  Hannah turned to Dad. “You have to try to unwind this. Do you know how high the mortality rate still is in the Warrens? It’s not safe for her to be there. We can’t lose her, Ted, I can’t go through that with you again.”

  “I know. Alice and I were still connected when she died. I had to feel her die thanks to the damn–”

  He stopped and looked at me, frowning. “I’ll talk to the church tomorrow morning.”

  He poked at the food that was still on his plate for a while, lost in a memory he didn’t want. I felt bad that all that I’d succeeded in doing was ruining dinner.

  “Dusa, why don’t you help me clear the table?” Hannah was already standing, waiting for me.

  I went to my dad and wrapped my arms around him in a hug. I buried my face on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.” He rubbed my back, but didn’t answer. I picked up his plate and mine and carried them back into the kitchen.

  “Can you tell me why you want to go to Bodens Gate so badly?” Hannah was dumping the plates into the recycler and she no longer seemed angry, just disappointed, which was worse.

  “I want to do something with my life that makes a difference.”

  Hannah stopped and looked at me, waiting. I sighed. “OK, fine. I want to find out who you and my mom and dad are, or who you were back then. And please don’t tell me that you’ve already told me everything that happened in the Warrens.”

  She smiled at me. “Now that sounds like truth.” She went back to cleaning up the kitchen. “But you won’t find what you’re looking for there.”

  “Then where do I find it? You and Dad will never tell me.”

  She chuckled. “I didn’t say it wasn’t there. I just said you wouldn’t find it.”

  More secrets. Great.

  I finished helping and then told Hannah that I needed to go to my room to study for finals, but I really just laid on my bed staring at the ceiling or with my eyes closed letting the sound of Sibelius’s first symphony fill all the conscious parts of my brain. I didn’t notice that Hannah had come into my room until she sat on the edge of the bed next to me.

  “Look at you, still angry and frustrated. Are you ready for your bedtime story?”

  “I thought maybe you wouldn’t tell it after what I did.”

  “A promise is a promise. Do you know why there are things your dad and I haven’t told you?”

  I shrugged.

  “Some of it was that you were too young to understand, but that’s changing now. Some is personal and we won’t tell you and some is, well, it’s too dangerous for you to know.”

  “Dangerous?”

  “Dangerous to me. You won’t ever know the full story and you need to get over it. Parents keep secrets from their kids.”

  “Kids keep secrets from their parents too,” I tried to sound defiant.

  “I hope you do. I know I did.”

  “So tell me why the idea of me joining the Reunification Commission almost made you cry.”

  She laid down next to me and I moved over to make room for her on the pillow.

  “I was on my second hop with RuComm when I met your dad. I was fooling around with his best friend, Jake, at the time. Ted thought I was going to get Jake thrown out of RuComm because ‘romantic entanglements’ are forbidden by the terms of the RuComm contract. He didn’t know that everyone cheats on that clause, both on and off the ship, especially off. Jake was like all the many lovers I had on my first hop; a pleasant diversion from the boredom, a little excitement for a time and then I’d move on. I shared my body with all of them, but never my heart. I controlled my heart and I liked it that way.” She turned her head and looked at me. “Does that shock you?”

  “Maybe a little.” I knew she was trying to shock me. It was working.

  “I got tired of Jake after a couple of weeks and started work seducing Ted, your dad. I had hopes he could keep me entertained for the two months we’d be on Dulcinea. He looked like he had potential and I liked the way he smelled.”

  “You smell him?”

  “Yeah, I do,” she whispered. “Anyway, your Grandpa Vandermeer arranged to ship him out to the Margo Islands the morning after we arrived to be a pawn in the cold wa
r between the Palma Federated States and the Oceanus Protectorate. Alice was already there, being a pawn sent by some General whose name I forget.”

  “Why would Grandpa do that?”

  “He says the General outmaneuvered him. That might be true. Or he sent Ted as a plaything for your mom.”

  I didn’t like that theory, but I could see Grandpa doing it.

  “It didn’t matter, I’d already hooked him,” Hannah continued. “I had been using Jake to make him jealous and I could see it in his eyes that he wanted me. Are you sure you want to hear this?”

  “I do if it’s the truth.”

  “It’s the truth, I’m just not very proud of this part. Ted was back a week later after almost dying on the Island. I met him in the hotel lobby that night when I got back from work. We talked for a while, and then he walked me to my room. He didn’t even want to give me a goodnight kiss on account of Jake.”

  “Sounds like Dad.”

  “I kissed him anyway. I met him and Jake the next day for lunch and caressed Ted’s leg under the table with my bare foot. I didn’t want him to have any doubts about my intentions. Our two month stay on Dulcinea had been cut back to only two more weeks because of the almost war. I wanted him, and there was no time for easing him into the idea. I took him back to the hotel that afternoon and had to practically drag him into my room. When that door closed though, if he had any problems with betraying Jake he hid them well.

  “After that,” she continued, “we were together every night. Once a few days had passed I realized that the short time we had before we left Dulcinea wouldn’t be enough. Even if we had been together the full two months it wouldn’t have been enough. Your dad wasn’t like any man I had ever been with. Dusa, I love your dad. He’s a good man, sensitive to what you’re feeling, imaginative, funny…”