Submission Impossible (Masters and Mercenaries: Reloaded Book 1)

by Lexi Blake

  “I’m married to a dude who forgot most of our lives together at one point. He didn’t remember how our son was conceived,” Erin replied. “He’s still got long-term memory issues. I know it’s not the same, but when you find the right one, you do what you need to do. You also find a rhythm, you know? Like what seems odd in the beginning is perfectly normal ten years down the line.”

  “Erin’s right. I married a guy with a whole bunch of issues, and we found our way through. I still have to work around the fact that it’s hard for Mitch to deal with his environment changing, but we get through it,” Laurel admitted. “You can’t know until you try, and Hutch is a great guy. He’s such a sweetheart and he’s good around kids.”

  All around her the other women were gathering. She’d expected they would all be her age, but there were a variety of ages and races and yep, there was a pretty woman there with a prosthetic arm.

  The men were showing up, too, and like the women there was a glorious diversity to them. Big and scarred or a little on the softer side, the men all looked excited to be here, too.

  “I know he’s a good man. But I want to take this class, and that seems to be a real sticking point for him,” Noelle admitted.

  “Oh.” Erin looked to Laurel, who nodded as though she understood. “He’s worried he’s going to lose you in all of this.”

  “Training is pretty intense,” Laurel acknowledged. “The good news is it’s not forever, and you could get through it and still want to see him on the other side.”

  Would he still want to see her? Or would he resent her for going through with the class? Would he always wonder if she’d slept with her training Dom and let jealousy come between them? She’d known guys like that.

  “Hey, Noelle.” Kyle strode up beside a stunning man with vibrant green eyes and black hair. He wasn’t as big as Kyle, but he was fit. “I wanted to introduce you to your partner for the class. This is Jeff. Jeff, this is Noelle.”

  Jeff was drop-dead gorgeous, but there was something cold about him. She’d placed her right crutch against the wall after she’d gotten to the dungeon floor. She could make it with one on the even surface. She held out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  He shook it and gave her a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You, too, Noelle. I look forward to getting to know you.”

  “I look forward to getting to know how Kyle got hold of the partner list.” Erin stared a hole through Kyle.

  Kyle gave her a grin that made him look younger. He almost always seemed serious, but every now and then he’d smile and it lit up his face. “I wouldn’t be good at my job if I couldn’t even figure out where Kai’s group keeps their lists, would I?”

  Laurel shook her head. “Make sure Mistress Lea doesn’t find out or you’ll be on that hamster wheel.”

  Kyle merely slapped his perfectly muscled abs. “I can handle it. The way Hutch and this one here cook, I’m going to be pudgy if I don’t watch it. Noelle makes the world’s best chocolate chip cookies. Do not tell my mom. She’s proud of hers, but Noelle’s are better.”

  Kyle really could eat. Hutch could, too. The last few days she’d gone through most of the dough she’d frozen thinking it would last her for a couple of months. She’d made chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies, and she was planning on orange rolls for Saturday morning. She loved to bake and had forgotten how much fun it was to watch someone enjoy the fruits of her labor.

  The sweets. Hutch thought she was sweet.

  Jeff backed away. “I guess I’ll see you soon.”

  Noelle nodded and watched as he walked away.

  “He’s hot.” Laurel was watching him, too. “No wonder Hutch is worried.”

  “Hutch doesn’t know,” Erin insisted. “And I’m going to talk to Grace about not spanking her boy enough. That one is going to be trouble. I should go and make sure the sample contracts are ready. Noelle, if you have any trouble at all, feel free to talk to me or Laurel. Even if you just get a bad vibe off someone.”

  She wasn’t sure what Erin was talking about, but the woman was still watching Kyle and Jeff as they approached the tall Domme who was teaching the class. Mistress Lea wore her chestnut brown hair in a severe bun. She also wore some spectacular stiletto heeled boots that came up over her knees and made her legs look a million miles long.

  “I’m going to make sure everything’s ready, sweetie.” Laurel stepped back. “And I won’t tell your mom about Hutch. Sorry, stepmom. I really do think of you as family.”

  Noelle had to smile. “You, too, Aunt Laurel, but we’re a weird family because you’re now my kink aunt, too.”

  “Just know that Uncle Mitch will be avoiding you at all costs.” Laurel gave her a wink. “Have fun tonight.”

  Laurel walked off and Noelle said hi to a couple of the women she’d met in the locker room. They were all buzzing, talking, wondering which of the yummy Doms they were going to get paired with and how fantastic the Mistress looked.

  But the gorgeous Domme had moved her talk outside. She watched as Mistress Lea took Kyle and Jeff out of the dungeon and toward the stairs. There weren’t walls around this part of the dungeon so she could see them talking.

  And then she could see Hutch coming up the stairs. What was he doing here? Had he come to make one last plea for her to not take the class? That was a pretty arrogant thing to think. He hadn’t mentioned it again after that first night. He’d likely given up on her and was doing all the things he did because he would do it for anyone in his circle. She was in that circle right now, but when the case was over, he would move on and find someone who did what he wanted her to.

  Hutch’s whole body went stiff and then he sprinted across the space and attacked Jeff.

  For a moment Noelle felt like her feet were glued to the floor.

  Everyone moved around her like they were magnetically attracted to the fight that was now going on.

  What the hell did Hutch think he was doing? Did he think he could get her kicked out of the program? Or if he took her training Dom out, maybe she would leave with him?

  She hadn’t expected this of him. She grabbed her left crutch because she might need to use one of them on Hutch’s head.

  “Kyle!” she shouted as she moved through the crowd. “Make him stop.”

  Kyle was standing back, Mistress Lea at his side. “If I make him stop, I might have to start.”

  Mistress Lea sighed. “As much as I’m enjoying watching Hutch take him apart, Jeff is one of Tag’s favors to a friend. Kyle, if you would please get Hutch.”

  “Seriously?” Kyle’s eyes had gone wide. “You want me to take the psycho while you get the crying baby who can’t throw a proper punch?”

  Lea’s lips kicked up. “Ah, the privileges of being the Mistress of Sanctum.” She glanced over at the other Doms. “West, help Kyle. Someone go and find Erin and let her know we need a first aid kit.”

  Noelle managed to make it to the front of the pack. She was horrified at the sight. Hutch was basically taking Jeff apart. “Hutch!”

  He stopped and looked up at her, shock in his eyes as if she was the last thing he’d thought he would see standing there. His hands dropped to his sides and his face fell. “Noelle. Noelle, I’m sorry.”

  “You think you’re sorry right now, you fucking psycho.” Jeff backed away, pushing himself off the floor. “Wait until I’m done with you.”

  Hutch started to take a step toward her.

  Noelle shook her head. How could he have humiliated her like this? How could he even expect her to look at him after this?

  Erin came running in, her now bare feet pounding on the dungeon floor. “What the hell?” She looked from Jeffrey to Hutch and then back to Jeffrey, who’d gotten to his feet. “What did you do?”

  “It was Hutch.” She couldn’t let Jeff take the fall for this. That was probably exactly what Hutch had planned on. Had he been trying to get Jeff thrown out? What happened to a sub without a partner? She would probably be told s
he needed to wait until the next class.

  How could she have been so wrong about him? God, her heart actually ached because she’d thought he might be the kind of man she could honestly count on. She’d thought he was like her dad. But Hutch was selfish.

  “Jeffrey said…” Mistress Lea began.

  “Nothing.” Hutch looked back at the Mistress. “He said absolutely fucking nothing. I didn’t like the way he looked at me and don’t take shit from baby Doms. You should all understand that.”

  “You attacked me for no reason.” Jeff touched his busted lip. “Is this how I’m going to be treated here? I want your fucking name, asshole. Because you better believe I’m going to take everything you have.”

  “How could you?” Noelle ignored Jeff because Hutch was the only one who mattered. How could she stay now? How could she go into a training relationship with a man he’d beaten the crap out of? Jeff would find out about her relationship with Hutch. How could he go on and train with her? How could she even stay? Hutch had caused this drama and that’s all anyone would remember about her.

  Hutch’s whole body seemed to sag. “I’m sorry. I…damn it, Noelle. I don’t know why I did that.”

  “You did it because he said he wouldn’t coddle a disabled chick and said he wouldn’t touch her.” Kyle’s words sent a shock through her. “You did it because you care about her and you won’t let anyone talk about her that way. Ever.”

  Hutch’s body was tense again, and he looked like he was ready to take on Kyle, too. “I didn’t want her to hear that.”

  “She should.” Kyle’s eyes found hers. “She should hear it because she should know why you lost your shit. She should know the reason why her training Dom is leaving right fucking now.”

  “I’m not leaving.” Jeff turned her way. “Look, it’s cool that this club wants to let someone like you in, but you’re going to make it hard on the rest of us. I came here to have fun, not to babysit.”

  She wasn’t going to cry. Except she’d already started. She couldn’t help the tears that filled her eyes. “I wouldn’t work with you if you were the last person on earth. Hutch…I need to be not here but I can’t…”

  She didn’t even get the request out of her mouth before he was there, picking her up and letting her crutches fall to the side. He hauled her up and cradled her against his chest.

  She’d accused him, denied him, and he didn’t hesitate to be there when she needed him.

  “I’m taking her downstairs, but she’ll be back for the beginning of the class. He better not be here, Lea.” Hutch started for the stairs.

  “The class begins now,” Lea called out.

  “No, it doesn’t. It begins when she’s in her seat and you’ve taken out the trash,” Hutch replied without looking back.

  But Noelle could see the whole group over his shoulder. She saw the way Mistress Lea smiled as though she utterly approved of the way things had gone.

  “Have her back in twenty minutes, Hutch,” Lea ordered.

  She wouldn’t go back. She watched as Laurel walked in, picking up Noelle’s crutches and talking to Erin. She would get the whole sad story and then her stepmom would call and tell her all sorts of inspirational bullshit. All of the trainees would be talking about her, feeling sorry for her. Or maybe some would agree with Jeff. Maybe some would see her as holding the class back.

  Hutch strode down the stairs, taking her away from that horrible scene.

  She wasn’t going to cry. Not the way she wanted to. She was going to suck it up and get through the next few moments, and then she would ask him to take her home and she would never try this again. Never.

  Hutch now knew exactly how humiliating her life could be. There was always a Jeff out there, waiting to take her down a notch for inconveniencing him.

  He kicked the door to the women’s locker room open. “Anyone here? I need the room.”

  No one replied. The room was completely silent. He moved into what Laurel had described as the salon portion of the locker room. It was a big, lovely living area where the women of Sanctum relaxed before and after their playtimes.

  She wouldn’t enjoy this space. She wouldn’t sit in here making herself pretty for her Dom and talking to her friends.

  “You can set me down.” She’d been impulsive. She’d been weak. She should have left on her own two feet.

  “I can’t. I can’t because I’m afraid if I do, I’m going to lose you.” He sank down on the sofa, his arms tightening around her. “Please forgive me, Noelle.”

  Forgive him? “There’s nothing to forgive. I’m sorry it happened, but I can’t be mad at you for defending me. Though it’s not…”

  His head shook and his jaw went mulishly stubborn. “Don’t you even finish that sentence. I’m on edge and I didn’t get to do what I wanted to, so please don’t push me by telling me you don’t need me.”

  Emotion swamped her, and she wasn’t even sure which one was hitting her the hardest. Humiliation, pain, self-pity was in there. But so was gratitude, and now empathy because he looked lost. “Don’t need you?”

  “I know you don’t feel the same about me, but I can’t stand by and let someone treat you like that. I can walk away when I know you’re safe, but don’t make me walk away knowing you didn’t need me. Even for a little while.” He dropped his forehead against hers. “Don’t let this hold you back, baby. You belong here. He doesn’t. Every single person in the club will support you, and if they don’t, they won’t be a member of this club for long. Big Tag owes me and I’ll call in all the favors to make sure you have a good training experience. I’ll find you the best newbie Dom I can, and I’m going to kick Kai’s ass for letting anyone else do his work. I promise. I’ll ask Kyle about his brother. David’s a nice guy, and he’s been thinking about taking the class. I’ll make this work for you.”

  The indignity Jeff had heaped on her melted away in the face of Hutch’s caring. She’d given him every indication that she didn’t care about him in a boyfriend way, but damn he was acting like the most caring boyfriend ever. He was giving her everything she wanted merely because she wanted it.

  She cupped his cheeks and threw away the humiliation and self-pity because there wasn’t a place for either when she was with him. He could chase both defeating emotions away with a mere smile, and she was done denying him.

  She didn’t need the perfect training experience. She needed to experience it with him.

  “Hutch, will you teach me?”

  He went still. “Baby, you don’t have to do this. I’ll get you what you want.”

  He didn’t understand. Her reluctance had done a number on him, but it stopped now. “I only want you.”

  He started to argue but she stopped him with a kiss.

  “Don’t,” she ordered. “Don’t waste more time. I know what I want and I want to be with you more than I want this class. I was afraid if I didn’t take it, I would always be Hutch’s girl and not just Noelle. But I can make my own friends here. I can do it without the class, and honestly, being your girl is not such a bad gig. Don’t fight me on this. I’m not walking away because of that giant ass. I needed a moment to process, but I’m okay. He’s not the first guy to insult the hell out of me and he won’t be the last. Unless the word gets out about how good you are in a fight. He’s bigger than you, babe, but you were well on the way to taking him apart.”

  He’d gotten angry because he cared about her. They would have to work on that, but in this one moment it gave her some peace. It let her know someone was willing to fight for her. Since she’d moved to Dallas, she’d had to fight for herself so often she was tired.

  “I wanted to kill him,” Hutch admitted with a sigh and then his mouth hovered over hers.

  How had she gone from the depths of despair to wanting his kiss more than her next breath? The rest of the night didn’t matter because she was done fooling herself. She wanted to be with Hutch. “Tell me you want me.”

  The smile that came over his face li
t up the night. “I want you, Noelle. I want you in a way I haven’t wanted anything in a long time. Not since I was a kid.”

  “What did you want then?”

  “Safety,” he replied simply.

  He’d been a little boy with no power for much of his life. And then when he’d found his power had he wielded it simply to show he could? No. He’d saved his brothers, put his life on the line.

  Why had she waited? “You’re safe with me.”

  She brushed her lips over his, pouring everything she felt into that kiss. His hand moved along her thigh and up to her waist.

  “You’re safe with me, too.” Hutch breathed the words against her lips.

  She was. “Let’s go home.”

  She knew she should say her place, but living with him for the past week had made that apartment feel more like a home.

  “But then we’ll miss your class,” he said, and he picked her up again, making her feel petite and cared for. He stood up with her in his arms like she weighed nothing at all.

  “My class? I told you I don’t want another training Dom.” She was sure David Hawthorne was a great guy, but she’d made her choice.

  “And I told you I would make sure you have everything you want.” He started for the door. “So I’ll be your training Dom. I’ll go right back to Dom kindergarten and do it all over again, and baby, you should understand I’m going to take homework seriously.”

  “But I thought it was against the rules.” She’d asked about it. She’d asked Kyle and he’d explained that the training class was for newbies only.

  “Rules are made to be broken.” He pushed through the door and started for the stairs. “And like I said, Tag owes me and I’m calling it in.”

  She settled against him and suddenly was perfectly content with how her night was going.

  Chapter Eleven

  Kyle pulled Noelle’s sedan into the parking space she’d been allotted and put the car in park. “Okay, we need to talk, you two.”

  Hutch didn’t want to talk. He was way too busy kissing Noelle. He’d started the minute they’d gotten into the car and hadn’t stopped the whole way back to her building. He’d helped her into the back seat and followed right behind her.