Submission Impossible (Masters and Mercenaries: Reloaded Book 1)

by Lexi Blake

  That got his eyes to flare, and he crossed the space between them. “What did you say?”

  Yes, now she had his attention. “I stated aloud my worry that you no longer find me attractive. Also, that you think I’m too fragile to have sex with.”

  His hand gripped the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair and giving her a tease of pain. “I’ve already had sex with you, Noelle. So either you’re manipulating me or you don’t understand me at all, and I don’t believe that. I think you get me like no one ever has before.”

  “And I think you don’t understand how far I’ll go to comfort you,” she whispered back. Because she did get him. She was rapidly discovering that he was part of her soul. “I know you’re nervous about me going back to the office, but I’m going to be okay. We’re going to get through this, and you’ll be stuck with me because you decided to be my training Dom. No matter what happens you’re stuck with me for six whole weeks.”

  That big hand of his tightened, lighting up her scalp. “You know damn well I’m stuck with you. And you know you’re gorgeous.”

  “I know you think I am, and I’m grateful for that,” she corrected. “I also know you think I can’t handle what you need. You think you’re pushing me by pulling my hair, but it’s doing nothing but getting my nipples hard and making me wish you would kiss me.”

  He loomed over her. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”

  “I know that there’s more boiling under your surface than what happened tonight. It’s all coming back. All of it. Being out of control. Being a victim. You’re worried that’s what’s going to happen to me and you’ll lose me. And tonight you’re worried that the D/s you need to feel in control will hurt me like your dad hurt you and your mom, but it won’t because it’s not the same. It’s something we both need to feel whole and complete, and that makes it beautiful. That makes it a part of what it means to be us. I’m asking you to share that part of yourself with me. I thought this was happening too fast between us, but I’m done pushing you away. So take me. Show me. Teach me. Above all, be with me. In this moment and every moment we have from now on.”

  His head dropped down to hers and she knew she’d won this fight.

  Chapter Twelve

  Hutch let go of any notion of not having her tonight. She was a little brat who desperately needed some discipline and a whole lot of pleasure.

  She was a brat who was going to save him from his own misery. He couldn’t sink into that dark place that found him from time to time when she was willing to drag him back into the light.

  Emotion warred with arousal. Or maybe it was simply mixed in there—the natural combination that came with actually making love. He rubbed his forehead against hers. “You’re killing me. I do not deserve you.”

  “I’ll remind you of that when we do actually go to Papillon and you meet my dad,” she promised.

  He was not about to let her father’s distaste for him be a wall between them. Nope. He’d faced down worse enemies, and he knew what to do. He tugged on her hair, forcing her head back and looking down into that gorgeous face of hers. “Your dad will love me. I’ll fix his computer and end up being his personal IT guy. Now take off your clothes. You’re going to leave them right fucking here. That way Kyle knows this is a naked zone and he should stay out of it.”

  Kyle was half of his problem. He wanted to trust the man, but Kyle seemed willing to put Noelle in harm’s way so he could keep his position with Jessica Layne.

  Hutch had to watch the man who was supposed to be watching their backs.

  “You think I’m pretty.” She kicked off her loafers.

  He understood that she’d been manipulating him before, but there was still a hint of insecurity in her words. The first night they’d slept together the lights had been low, and they were fully on now. Did she think he’d forgotten an inch of her loveliness? Did she imagine he hadn’t studied her scars and found them every bit as beautiful as the rest of her?

  “I think you’re gorgeous, and I’m going to show you. I scare you and you say the word yellow,” he instructed. “I push past your comfort zone and you say red. Otherwise I’m going to do what I want, when I want, and for however long I want. Do I make myself clear?”

  “Yes, Hutch.”

  He untangled his hand from the silk of her hair and stepped back. This was his time. She was the brilliant scientist whose work would change the world someday during the daylight hours. But at night, she would be his. His woman. His lover. His sub.

  His to play with and adore and fuck.

  Noelle let the crutch she’d been leaning on sit back against the chair. She felt steady on her feet and started to unbutton her blouse. She kept her eyes on him, offering him another connection.

  “Who helped you with your corset?” He’d sat in the men’s locker room and wondered who was taking care of her. He had no doubt she’d learn how to deal with the intricacies of fet wear in no time at all, but she’d admitted this was her first time in a corset.

  “Elisa. She has the locker next to mine. She was the first of the trainees to introduce herself.”

  “Did she?” He couldn’t help but grin at that thought because he was pretty sure Elisa hadn’t minded helping her at all.

  His inuendo did what he’d hoped it would. It had Noelle rolling her eyes and grinning before she let the blouse drop. She wore a pretty pink bra that showed off the tops of her breasts. “She’s not interested in me.”

  “Oh, if she likes women, she appreciated how pretty you are.” He needed to make her understand that it was all okay in the confines of the club. With the exception of that fucker Jeffrey, she could trust the men and women of Sanctum. “It’s all right at the club. That’s the beauty of Sanctum. You can walk around naked all day and unless you want someone to touch you, they won’t.”

  She unclasped her bra and let it hit the floor.

  And proved she hadn’t been lying about her nipples. They were hard as rocks, and his fingers itched to touch them. But he was in control again, his fears pushed down in favor of taking care of her. He would get his hands on those luscious breasts, but it would be on his time. She unbuttoned the top of her slacks and slid the zipper down.

  “Keep going,” he commanded. He wanted her to make the decision to be naked in front of him.

  His dick tightened, arousal flooding his system in the most pleasant of ways. She pushed the slacks down and caught the waistband of her silky undies, pulling them along and leaving herself naked in front of him.

  She was even prettier in full light, and he was going to have her naked as often as possible.

  His cell buzzed in his pocket letting him know the text he’d been waiting on was coming in.

  Michael Malone would stake out the house tonight, making sure Kyle didn’t slip out or invite someone in.

  He forced down the emotion that played through him at the thought because he could fully pay attention to her now.

  “So what are you planning on doing with me?” She put a hand on her hip and gave him her sauciest smile. That was a smile he intended to keep on her face.

  “First I’m going to show you that your legs aren’t important.” He marched right up to her and hauled her into a fireman’s hold over his shoulder.

  She yelped at what was probably a shocking change of perspective. “I only said that to get you in the right headspace. I know you don’t care.”

  “Oh, I care. I care a lot.” He slapped her ass with his free hand, a playful swat that would serve as a warm-up. “And you’re a brat.”

  “You’re going to make me beg, aren’t you?” She was breathless.

  “I’m going to make you squirm and beg, and maybe I’ll even make you cry a little, but you’ll like it or you’ll tell me if it doesn’t work for you. I’m not going to make this some training session, but we are learning each other’s limits and what works for us as a couple. We talk during sex. We don’t pretend like we make this spectacular without puttin
g the work in.”

  She needed to understand that the heart of what he wanted wasn’t merely spankings and blow jobs, though he did want that and intended to get to both this evening. At the base of his needs was communication. He needed to talk to her, to connect with her.

  “Yes. I want all of that,” she replied and did some of the squirming he’d promised she would do.

  He slapped her ass again and she gasped. The first one had been playful. This one was all business, and a tight sound came from her throat.

  A shudder went through her body as he turned into his bedroom. It was the one room that had nice stuff in it that wasn’t connected to the Internet. He had a big comfy bed and a dresser that was half empty, two nightstands, and all the room they would need to be comfortable.

  Was he already thinking about moving her in? He shoved the thought aside because being with her like this meant being in the moment.

  He lowered her to the bed and stared at her. She looked perfect just the way she was, with her pink-tipped nipples and a flush on her skin. He gripped her ankles and flipped her over. The scars she worried about were on her back where they’d worked on her spine. Where it had broken and she’d been forced to put herself back together again.

  He let his fingers trace the scars.

  “What are you doing?” Noelle started to roll over.

  He needed to show her what he wanted. He spread her legs and moved in between them, pinning her to the bed and leaning over to breathe his command into her ear. “I am looking at you, touching you, learning you, and you’re going to let me. You have your safe words. Unless you want to use them, you’ll be still and let me have my way with you.”

  He nipped the nape of her neck and she shuddered again, her breath hitching and that sweet ass of hers wriggling against him.

  Yeah, she liked a bite of pain. That was good for him because he liked to take a nibble every now and then.

  He stood again, satisfied she would obey him now. It was time to show her how well he intended to take care of her—and how kinky he could get. He didn’t want her thinking about her legs. He knew she’d brought it up to force him to react, but he also knew they’d been an issue tonight. She would think about them, think about whether they moved like other subs’ moved, like other women.

  He was going to make sure they didn’t move at all.

  His kit was sitting right outside the closet, so it was easy to pull out the rope he kept in there.

  “The anticipation part is hard. I don’t know what you’re going to do,” she said.

  That was the fun part for him. “You’ll learn to trust me. Part of what we’re going to do is see what works for you and what doesn’t.”

  “You work for me. It works so well when you kiss me.”

  “Good, then we know that works. Now let’s see how you feel about bondage.” He wasn’t falling for her ploy. She was trying to get immediately to the good stuff, and he wanted to play. She needed to learn that he was the boss when it came to this.

  “Bondage?” She started to try to turn again.

  He caught her ankles and laid a quick three slaps to her ass, the skin getting a sweet shade of pink. “Yes, bondage, and you’re going to learn all about long spankings if you don’t stay still.”

  She laid her head down, and he could see the way she bit her bottom lip and how her hands fisted in the comforter. Patience wasn’t her strong suit. But he would teach her that the waiting led to something incredible.

  “Now I’m going to stand you up and we’ll get this part out of the way. Tell me something, Noelle. Have you ever been tied up before?” He flipped her over and helped her stand. “Ankles together.”

  “You’re tying my legs?”

  He dropped a kiss on her nose and smoothed her hair back. “Yes, unless it’s going to bother you.”

  She shook her head. “No. I’d like to try.”

  “Good. I’m going to use a basic pattern This is called Hishi,” he explained and then dropped to his knees which put him in an excellent position to wrap the length around her hips. And be close to that part of her he would spend so much time on tonight. After she’d learned some patience. “The rope is jute, and you should get used to the feel. I’m going to use a diamond pattern.”

  He wrapped the length around her twice before tying it over and around and letting the remaining length brush her pussy.

  A sigh came from her and he worked the rope in a tie right above her ankles. While he worked, he touched her. He stroked her calves and thighs and her ass as he formed the diamond pattern that would hold her tight for him.

  Noelle stayed still, her eyes on him as he finished the last tie. “So you have me helpless. What now?”

  “Have you figured out why I like this?”

  She shook her head. “No. I’m not sure I like it. I do feel vulnerable.”

  “I want you to bend over and put your hands on the edge of the bed. I won’t let you fall, and if you experience any discomfort in your back, I’ll have you out in seconds.” He had a knife handy for that exact situation. “But I want you to try it because I think this can eventually make you feel secure and might help you focus on the part of your body I want you to concentrate on.”

  “You’ve tied up my entire lower half, so I’m sure I’ll be thinking about it,” she complained.

  “It’s good we’re getting this all out in private because if you’re this salty on the dungeon floor, I’ll have to do more than spank you.” She’d been right to push him because he was settled now. He could handle this. He could take care of her and he could figure out what was going on with Kyle. He could definitely take care of her tonight. “Hands on the bed.”

  She leaned over awkwardly. He stood back, ready to catch her if she needed it, but wanting her to explore this, too.

  “This is weird, Hutch. I feel both contained and exposed at the same time.”

  That was because with her legs all tied up, this position not only put her backside on fabulous display, it also exposed her pussy. He let his fingers brush over her labia. “Yes, this is ripe and ready for play. Do you have any idea how tight you would be if I fucked you like this? I would have to force my way in, and you would feel every inch.”

  He let his fingers play, rubbing and caressing and giving her a hint of what was to come. She was already wet, her arousal coating his fingers.

  “Tell me what you’ve played around with before. We had to go over hard and soft limits quickly this evening. I want to know what toys you feel comfortable with.”

  “Well, I’m starting to like rope but never tried it before. All of my relationships have been vanilla, like stale vanilla,” she admitted. “The best sex I’d had up until a couple of nights ago was with a vibrator.”

  “So you masturbate?”

  “Yep.” Every word came out shaky as she responded to the finger slowly fucking inside her. “The sad thing is my stepmom helped me buy my first vibrator because I was worried it wouldn’t work. My clitoris that is. It was after my accident.”

  He pressed between her thighs and found that pearl of hers. “Are you talking about this, sweetheart?”

  Her breath caught. “Yes. Oh, yes. That’s exactly the spot.”

  She wasn’t getting off that easily. He moved his finger back. “It works quite well, and I’m glad you had your stepmom to help you. I had my hand, and then I spent time in juvie hoping I didn’t learn anything at all about sex. I didn’t, by the way. My time in juvie was actually okay. It sucked, but less than being on the street. The Army was also a dry spell for me, but things picked up when I worked for the Agency. Did you experiment in college?”

  “With flavorless sex, yes,” she replied. “Come on, Hutch. I was close.”

  “Do you know what else changes when you’re in this position?”

  “What?” The question came out on a sigh. A bratty sigh.

  “What I slap when I spank you.” He drew his hand back and laid a gentle smack right on her pussy.


  A low moan came from Noelle’s throat as he spanked her again and again. He went light in the beginning, raising the impact until he hit ten.

  “How are you feeling now?”

  She sniffled. “I don’t know whether to cry or beg.”

  “Then you’re exactly where I want you to be.” He spanked her again. “Tell me how this makes you feel.”

  “It makes me feel like my body is a live wire,” she replied. “It makes me feel like I kind of hate you, but I don’t want you to stop either.”

  He let his hands move over her curves until he found her breasts. His dick pressed against the seam of her ass. He was so fucking hard, but he had a point to make. He cupped her breasts, loving the contrast of her silky-smooth skin and those pointed, pouty nipples. He rolled them between his thumb and forefinger. “I don’t want to stop. I want to do such dirty things to you, baby. And you’re going to let me.”

  “Yes. Yes, I am.”

  That was what he wanted to hear. He pinched down lightly on her nipples, and her ass rubbed against his dick. “I’m going to help you get to your knees. You’re going to ease down to the floor and then you’re going to suck my cock.”

  “Oh, god. Hutch, I haven’t had much experience with that,” she said, her body moving against his. “The time I tried it didn’t go great.”

  “Did he tell you what he wanted?”

  Her chest swelled, pressing her breasts into his hands. “No. He just shoved it at me, and apparently I have a small mouth.”

  It was tempting to drop his pants and shove his cock in, but he wanted to feel her mouth on him. “I’m going to tell you what I want from you. I’m going to let you play and explore and run your tongue all over me. I loved tasting you the other night. I can’t stop thinking of how sweet you are. I want you to taste me. Will you do that for me?”

  “Yes. I want that.”

  “But you have to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.” He was already thinking about buying some pillows and bolsters. If he did, she would be comfy when he twisted and turned her so he could fuck her hard.