The Freshman

by Monica Murphy

  Jackson and Caleb? What the hell do they know about relationships?

  Nothing.

  I take a huge gulp from my water glass and tell myself I don’t need any advice. I’m winging it.

  I got this.

  “What’s going on with the record deal?” Diego asks Jackson out of nowhere.

  Jackson was the one who talked to the talent scout, not Bat’s Cave. It was a woman, and she fell hard and fast for Jackson’s performance, saying much of the same stuff that Hayden said about him that night. She got him a meeting with the record execs, and he flew down to Los Angeles and listened to their spiel. They took him to lunch, they gave him a tour of the office, they flexed on the bands and singers they’ve turned into household names, and at the end of the four-hour meeting, they made him an offer.

  He turned it down.

  They called him back, offering more money.

  He turned down that deal too.

  “They’re going to make another offer,” Jackson says, his lips curling into a sideways smirk. “My dad’s lawyer is fully prepared to tell them no.”

  “Dude, why would you turn down all these deals if music is your passion?” Eli asks, shaking his head. “If that was my dream, I’d be all over that shit.”

  “When they know it’s your dream, that’s when they take advantage of you. I refuse to get caught up in some shit deal where I end up making mere pennies for every record sold,” Jackson explains, sounding perfectly logical. His father is some big business mogul and full of good advice, though I still have no clue what he does exactly. “This offer isn’t my ticket out of nowhere. I love making music. I love performing, but I refuse to cave to the first deal offered.”

  “This isn’t the first deal,” Eli reminds him. “It’s your third.”

  “If the money is right, I’ll accept it,” Jackson says. “My father always said, if the terms aren’t to your liking, walk away. If they want you bad enough, they’ll chase after you.”

  “You might end up having a bunch of teenaged girls chasing you every night and that’s it,” Caleb says, making us all laugh.

  “If that’s the case, so be it. The right offer will eventually come along,” Jackson says with a faint smile. “I know it.”

  I wish I had half his confidence when it comes to life. I feel like I’m winging it most of the time.

  “I can’t even believe you were sneaking around and performing on the down low,” Diego says. “You had us all fooled.”

  “Why tell you when you’d all give me shit?” Jackson looks at every one of us, and we all duck our heads, save for Caleb. “Except for you, my number one fan.”

  Caleb grins. “If you hit number one on the charts and sing a duet with Ariana Grande, I will gladly suck your dick after you introduce me to her.”

  We all throw chips in his direction and he holds up his hands, batting them away. “You know she’d jump on this.” He points at himself.

  “Like I’d let that happen if I was singing with her. She’d be jumping on me,” Jackson says, tapping his chest with his thumb.

  We all can’t help but agree with that.

  The server comes and takes our orders. Caleb tries to get a beer, but she asks to see his ID and he says never mind. Once she’s gone, we all start talking about Jackson again, and his potential record deal. Something about it fills us all with possibilities, and it’s kind of fun to dream along with him.

  “You could tour with The Weeknd,” Diego suggests.

  “We don’t make the same kind of music,” Jackson says.

  “He’s just saying that because of the Super Bowl.” I point at Jackson. “You could end up performing there someday.”

  “That would be cool,” Jackson says with a nod.

  “And I’ll be playing in it. Leading my team to the win!” Eli throws his hands up in the air and makes a crowd roaring noise.

  We all roll our eyes, but secretly wish for that too.

  Well, not me. I’m practical. I know college will be the end of my football career. And I think Caleb feels the same way. He doesn’t put a ton of effort into it. And Jackson? He has bigger things to accomplish, like his music career.

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me you were performing at Strummers?” I ask Jackson when the other three start talking about video games.

  We became closer in the summer. We both come from rich fathers with high expectations. Mine was rarely in my life, while Jackson lives with his dad, but he’s never around. And because he’s never around, he’s constantly giving Jackson money, alcohol and weed to make up for his absence.

  It’s kind of fucked-up. I don’t know who’s worse. My dad or his.

  We bonded over that, and that’s why we started having a bad attitude about practice. We’d smoke a little weed, drink some Jack Daniels, and say fuck it to practice. Jackson had something else to occupy his time, but I didn’t.

  Football—and my friends on the team—were it. Glad I realized that before I really messed everything up.

  “I don’t know. I thought you’d give me shit,” Jackson says with a shrug.

  “I get it. We all have a dream. Eli wants to be the next Drew Callahan.” I wave my hand in Eli’s direction. “Diego has high hopes too, but he also wants to raise his daughter and have a family with Jocelyn. That’s his focus right now. Caleb wants to fuck his way through the entire campus.”

  Jackson laughs.

  “And you want to be a successful musician,” I add.

  Jackson’s face grows sober. “But what about you, man?”

  I frown. “What about me?”

  “What’s your dream?”

  His words linger with me throughout dinner. I eat, I joke, I think about asking them about my relationship with Hayden, but in the end, I say nothing. I can’t get Jackson’s words out of my head.

  What’s your dream?

  I don’t have a damn clue. I’m only eighteen, so isn’t that okay? Do I have to know what I want to do with the rest of my life? Is it really that important that I make that decision right now?

  My phone buzzes with a text, just as we’re wrapping up dinner, and I quickly check who it is, thinking it’s Hayden. But it’s not.

  It’s my dad.

  You’re coming here for Thanksgiving, right?

  I read those words over and over, trying to push past the lead ball that suddenly sits in my stomach. I don’t want to go to his house for Thanksgiving, which is—shit—next week. I asked Mom about the holiday and she said she was going to Mexico with her newest boyfriend. She mentioned I was more than welcome to join them, but I said no. Which she knew would be my answer, so she got away with that scot-free.

  Didn’t cross my mind that my father would want me sitting at his table for Thanksgiving. After I visited there for the weekend, we’ve kind of kept in contact, but after a while, we stopped texting each other. I’ve been too busy with football, school and Hayden to make the time to see him again. If he really wanted to see me, he could come here.

  But, of course, he doesn’t.

  My phone buzzes again, another text from my dad.

  Dad: ????

  Me: Hadn’t planned on it.

  Dad: Helena and I both really want you here. We’re a family now. It doesn’t feel complete without you.

  I roll my eyes. What a bunch of horseshit.

  Dad: She also mentioned you have a girlfriend. Maybe you should bring her with you.

  My entire body goes stiff. What the hell? How does Helena know?

  Me: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

  He would flip his fucking lid if he knew I was dating Hayden Channing.

  Dad: Come on. You can admit it. Helena has mentioned her to me multiple times. I can’t wait to meet her.

  Is this some sort of game she’s playing? Does my father not know who I’m with? I can’t even call Hayden my girlfriend. Not officially.

  Me: I’ll try and come, but I can’t bring her. We’re not that serious.

  Dad:
Don’t worry. I won’t embarrass you in front of her. Helena says she’s adorable.

  This is so freaking crazy. How did he find out about Hayden? Though from the way he’s texting, I would say he doesn’t know my girlfriend is Hayden…

  This is more like—how did Helena find out? And what the hell is she up to?

  We exit the restaurant, me absently making my way to my car and Caleb walking beside me. I’m so in my head, Caleb is talking a mile a minute and I don’t pay attention to what he’s saying. All I can think about is Helena telling my dad about my girlfriend and how adorable she is. When Helena has to know what’s going on. She fucking has to. Is she coming at me as some sort of veiled threat?

  “Hey.” Caleb snaps his fingers in front of my face, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Are Hayden and Gracie coming over tonight?”

  “I don’t think so.” I shrug, picking up my pace when I spot my car. “I haven’t talked to Hayden about it.”

  “Okay, cool. Maybe you shouldn’t. Though it’s no big deal when they’re at our place, I’m thinking tonight isn’t a good night.” Caleb is acting all nonchalant, when I know deep down, he’s got a total thing for Gracie. Not that he’d ever admit it, and even if he did, he’d claim it was purely sexual and he just wants to fuck her. And maybe that’s true.

  But doubtful.

  I warned him to leave her alone. Hayden informed me that Gracie is attracted to him, but trying to wean herself off toxic men. We both agreed Caleb is toxic—for Gracie. So we discourage the two of them spending time together as much as possible, without being obvious about it.

  Of course, it feels like every other day they’re somehow together.

  “I’ll text her when I get home,” I say absently as I unlock the doors and climb into the driver’s seat.

  “You should text her now,” Caleb says. “Make sure they’re not coming over.”

  He’s up to something, but I’m too preoccupied to worry about it.

  “I have to call my stepmom first,” I tell him grimly, starting the car.

  “The chick who wants to fuck you?” Caleb laughs. “That ought to be interesting.”

  I say nothing. My father gave me her number a while ago, saying if I couldn’t get a hold of him, to try Helena since she’s always on her phone. I’m sure that was a total slam, and I sort of brushed off having her number, but now I realize it’s coming in handy.

  I hide away in my room as soon as we arrive home, pulling my phone out and looking up Helena’s number. I don’t text her. I don’t want any evidence that my father could find, so I hit the call button and the phone starts ringing.

  She picks up on the third ring, greeting me with a breathless hello.

  “What are you doing?” I don’t beat around the bush. I want her to know I’m pissed.

  “Who is this?” she asks just as sharply.

  “You know who it is.” I pause for only a moment. “Why are you telling my dad I have a girlfriend and you want me to bring her home for Thanksgiving?”

  “Because you do have a girlfriend, and your father deserves to know that you don’t listen to him whatsoever.” She sighs, sounding bored. “The golden child isn’t so golden after all.”

  She’s confusing the hell out of me. “What are you talking about?”

  “All I ever hear is how great you are. How you’re going to take over the business someday, and I’m going to have to answer to you. Who the fuck are you, anyway? Just some snot-nosed college kid who never sees his dad, but fully expects him to pay his way for everything,” she says, her voice low, like a hiss. “I’m the one who’s stood by his side for the last five years. I’m the one who helps him with everything, offers up my opinions, reads over legal paperwork, and puts up with his constant bullshit. But do I get any credit? No, I’m just the baby mama who’s only good for hosting his parties, arm candy and spreading my legs.”

  Her hostility renders me silent. This is clearly a problem between her and my dad, and somehow, I’m getting dragged into it. “I never asked to be the heir to his company.”

  “While I have. Countless times, but he always brushes me off. Or he flat out laughs at me. I’ve proven myself to that man time and again, and he has zero faith in my abilities. So I thought he should know who his son is fucking around with,” she says.

  “How the hell do you know what I’m doing? Are you keeping tabs on me?” I can only imagine this crazy bitch hiring someone to follow me. Watch over me.

  That’s fucking insane.

  “I don’t have to waste money on hiring a private investigator when I have a friend who keeps me up-to-date on your love life.” She laughs.

  Shit. The woman who’s dating Hayden’s dad. Lauri? I think that’s her name. They’re close friends.

  So Hayden is talking to Lauri about us? When she knows her father doesn’t want me seeing her either? That’s messed up.

  “I’m not coming for Thanksgiving,” I tell Helena.

  “If you don’t come, I’m telling your father you’re with Hayden Channing, and that you’re spilling all the family secrets to her while you two are cozied up in bed together late at night. He’d believe me too, because Brian Channing just underbid another one of your father’s offers and got the deal a few days ago. He’s furious, and positive there’s a spy at the company who’s giving up all of our secrets. He finds out you’re with Hayden? He’ll think it’s you. I’ll turn him against you forever.” She sounds triumphant.

  I almost don’t care if she does turn him against me. “And if I do show up?”

  “You tell him you have zero interest in the business and you think I’m the one who should eventually take it over,” she says.

  “He’ll never listen to me.” When does he ever?

  “Better you try and convince him than me tell him you’re with Hayden, don’t you think?” She sounds like she’s enjoying this.

  “This is really fucked-up,” I tell her, clutching the phone so tight my hand aches. “You do realize this, right? You’re basically trying to blackmail me.”

  “You’re the idiot who can’t keep his dick out of the one girl he’s not supposed to fuck,” she says with a laugh. “You have no one to blame but yourself.”

  She ends the call and I throw the phone on my bed, fuming.

  Fuck Helena. She’s a backstabbing bitch. Like I’d tell my father she could run the business. I don’t even know her. She’s just greedy and wants that money all to herself and their twins. She hates that I exist.

  I collapse on the bed, running my hands through my hair. I don’t know how I’m going to fix this. Will my dad believe me when I tell him I’m not telling Hayden anything? I’ve barely talked to my dad since the last time I saw him, so how could I spill any company secrets? And Hayden and I aren’t talking about our parents. Not anymore. We talk about everything but our parents. She’ll tell me something about Palmer on occasion, but that’s it.

  Helena’s got me, though. I am seeing Hayden, when my father told me I shouldn’t. And Hayden’s father told her the same damn thing. So could Hayden be blabbing to her father’s girlfriend that we’re together? Who then opens her big mouth and tells Helena?

  Such bullshit.

  My mind is racing with too many overwhelming possibilities. Is Hayden trying to fuck with me to help her dad? Maybe she is. Maybe that’s part of the plan. To get close to me, and find out all my dad’s secrets? But how is that even possible when I’m not that close to my father? I know nothing.

  Absolutely nothing.

  So that theory is out. The relief that hits me is strong. I don’t want to think of Hayden as scheming against me. That would tear me up. I like her. I care about her.

  I could fall in love with her.

  My father would never approve. He’s a logical person—unless he’s angry. Then logic is tossed out the window and all he can focus on is his rage. I know nothing about my father’s business dealings. So therefore, I have nothing to tell Hayden, and she has no information to give to he
r father. We’re not the ones who are being shady here.

  Someone else is.

  And I’m thinking it’s Helena and Lauri.

  Twenty-Two

  Hayden

  “Did you text Tony and let him know we were coming over?” Gracie asks as we approach the condo’s front door.

  I shake my head. “It’s a surprise. I’m living on the edge.”

  “You sure that’s a good idea?” Ever since she caught Robin with that other girl, she’s not big on surprises.

  I can’t blame her.

  “He’s with his friends. They’re hanging out. It’s a typical Thursday night. He told me they were going to dinner after practice, and his car is in the parking lot. I know he’s here.” I march right up to that door and start knocking. “I’m not worried about another girl being in there,” I tell Gracie as I look at her from over my shoulder.

  She shakes her head. “I wish I had your confidence.”

  Her confidence has somehow left her completely, and I don’t understand why. All because of Robin? If that’s the case, why give that little asshole so much power? I don’t get it.

  But I’m full of all sorts of confidence, thanks to being with Tony this last month. Yes, we’re busy. Yes, we have to make time for each other, but oh, when we do? It’s magical.

  And I’m not just talking about the sex.

  We have fun together. He makes me laugh. He makes me think. He’s smart. Full of wise words for being so young. Sometimes I think he’s wiser than me, though I would never tell him that. He’s good to his friends. And I even like his friends. All of them. I feel like we’re part of the gang when we come over to hang out.

  Gracie and I come over as often as we can.

  The door swings open and it’s Diego standing there, a smile stretching his mouth when he sees us. “Hey. Come in.” The door swings open wider.