When We Fall

by Kendall Ryan

  Thankfully, we soon pulled to a stop in the driveway behind his house and Knox turned to face me.

  “You’re going to regret teasing me, angel.”

  The husky tone of his voice and ragged breathing, coupled with the sight of his raging erection, made my stomach flip. I was playing a dangerous game, but there was no way I was stopping now.

  He sucked in a few deep breaths, and adjusted the monstrosity in his pants before climbing from the Jeep.

  Unlocking the back door, he led me inside. All was peaceful in the house. Tucker and Luke were in the living room, Tuck watching cartoons and Luke busy typing away on the laptop.

  Knox and I crept up the stairs without so much as a hello. I felt a little villainous, sneaking off to do naughty things with him, but it was a feeling I liked. I was embracing the bad-girl side of myself that only Knox brought out.

  Once we were safely tucked inside his bedroom, with the door locked and closed behind us, Knox’s hungry gaze caught mine and I felt trapped. I was his. Completely at his mercy. He stalked toward me like he was the hunter and I was the hunted.

  Not bothering to cross the room to the bed, he pinned me against the wall, his large frame swallowing mine as he pressed his body close. He rubbed his large erection against my belly.

  “You wanted to tease me, make me want you, but not let me come… That wasn’t nice, angel.”

  I let out a helpless whimper. I hadn’t meant to be mean.

  His mouth caught mine, taking my bottom lip between his teeth and tugging it gently. “Naughty girls like you need to be taught a lesson.”

  “Are you going to punish me?” I whispered, my lips brushing his.

  “I’m going to make sure you never forget who’s in charge.” He lifted my shirt from over my head and tossed it behind him, then he found the clasp on my bra and removed that next. The cool air nipped at me, sending goose bumps across my belly and puckering my nipples. His gaze slipped lower and landed on my breasts. “So pretty,” he said, his thumbs lightly stroking the sensitive pink flesh. A gasp stuck in my throat. His hands were warm and I savored the rough feel of his fingertips against me.

  “Knox,” I breathed.

  “Shhh. You forgot already, angel, I’m setting the pace today.”

  A frustrated whimper escaped my lips and I leaned forward to kiss him. If I could drive him wild, maybe I could get him to move things along faster. I reached for his belt buckle and his mouth moved against mine in a low, throaty chuckle.

  “No way, sweetheart. You’re not playing with my cock again until I’m ready for you to. Hands clasped behind you.”

  Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I laced my fingers behind me, which only caused my breasts to stick out more.

  Knox’s wet mouth closed over one nipple, and with his eyes on mine to watch my reaction, he sucked and licked my nipple until it was distended into a firm peak. Then he flicked his tongue back and forth across the other while I watched in agonized pleasure.

  His fingers worked at the button of my jeans, then he slowly lowered the zipper and tugged them open to push them down my hips. My panties went next as Knox roughly shoved them down my legs until I could step out of them. I stood before him completely undressed as the chill of the room nipped at me and desire burned hotly inside. The effect was dizzying.

  Keeping my fingers laced behind me, I raised up on my toes, needing to be closer to him in any way I could. I nuzzled against his neck, stroking my nose against his rough skin and inhaling his scent. “Can I kiss you?” I murmured.

  “Of course.”

  I captured his mouth in a hot, hungry kiss, my tongue lightly stroking his while his hands curled around my hips, squeezing as though he was just barely holding back from taking me right here, right now. To which I’d have no objections.

  Using his grip around my hips, Knox lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist, enjoying the sensation of the hard ridge in his denim pressing into my bottom as he carried me over to his bed. Finally.

  He tossed me down onto the mattress and looked down at me for just a second before pulling his shirt off over his head. I loved studying the dips and planes in his abdominals and pecs. I could stare at this man all day; he was a work of art. So masculine and strong, both inside and out. His hands caught his belt and I watched as if in a trance as he slowly undid the buckle and pulled his cock free. He was thick and swollen with need, a large vein running the length of him.

  Unable to resist, I rose on my hands and knees and brought my mouth to him, running my tongue along that pulsing vein, teasing, licking, and tasting his smooth length. A low murmur escaped his throat and my core clenched with need. I gripped his shaft, rubbing both hands up and down as my mouth continued to hover over him, licking and sucking all along his steely cock.

  His fists gripped my hair, moving it away from my face, and his hips rocked forward, plunging him deeper into my mouth.

  “Christ, angel.” He cursed low under his breath and tilted my chin up so I’d meet his eyes. “You like doing that to me, don’t you?” He brushed a knuckle along my cheek and I nodded. “Does that taste good?” he asked, teasing me.

  I smiled wickedly and licked along the head of his cock again, tasting the salty bead of fluid leaking from his tip. His cock twitched and he moaned something unintelligible again.

  “Lie back,” he ordered.

  I lay down against the pillows, watching him, waiting for him to make his move, but he seemed entirely unrushed and content to just take in my naked form, a slight smile curling at his mouth. For a sex addict, he seemed much too in control, and the thought made me smile. He was mine. All his past troubles and all the worries we’d overcome made this moment that much sweeter, like it meant more because we’d worked to get here.

  Knox lay down beside me, covering me with the warm weight of his body, and sank inside me slowly, letting me acclimate to him an inch at a time.

  Chapter Ten

  Knox

  Holy shit, she felt amazing. It took several minutes to work myself completely inside her, but the patience was worth it. My eyes slipped closed the moment I was fully buried inside McKenna’s warm heat. She might have been prim and proper outside the bedroom, but my angel liked to get a little dirty between the sheets, further proof that she was the perfect girl for me. I whispered dirty things into her ear as I fucked her slowly—telling her how tight she was around me, how good she felt, and she let out tiny whimpers each time I did.

  Everything about her was incredible, and I knew without a doubt that I was a very fucking lucky man. Her pussy was like crack and I kept up an easy tempo, enjoying the feelings flooding through me.

  “I can feel you tightening around my cock. Do you want to come?” I asked, letting my lips brush past the shell of her ear.

  “Yes,” she said and moaned. The hint of desperation in her voice told me that while I’d been waiting for her, she’d been holding herself back, waiting for me. And since I knew she’d been turned on and wet since our ride home, I wanted to take care of her.

  I pressed my thumb against her clit, eliciting a soft cry from her, and began lightly rubbing as I continued the even rhythm of my strokes, pushing in and out of her. McKenna flew apart, convulsing and squirming in my arms, repeating my name over and over again until the last of her orgasm pulsed through her body and left her limp and sated in my arms.

  Not yet done with her, I pulled her hips to mine, entering her deeply. Her back arched off the bed at the unexpected invasion. Her eyes had that glassy, faraway look, and I could tell she was undone. I wanted to flip her over, to sink into her from behind and watch her ass wiggle against my thrusts, but I knew I was too close. And McKenna was worn out.

  “I’m almost there,” I murmured, kissing her neck.

  Pumping into her again and I again, I felt my balls draw up close to my body as her tight muscles gripped me. A shuddering moan pushed past my lips as she milked my cock deep inside her body. “Kenna…” The broken groan rumbled de
ep in my chest and I collapsed onto the bed on top of her, gathering her in my arms and holding her tightly against my chest.

  As our heartbeats pounded together, I knew I couldn’t put off the truth about my past much longer. It wasn’t fair to her. She’d given me everything—her heart, her devotion, her virginity, for fuck’s sake, and I couldn’t even tell her the truth. McKenna had given me a chance at true happiness, and the boys had a loving female in their lives for the first time in years. I was being selfish hiding this from her and it was starting to eat at me, to wear a hole in my newly mended heart. It wasn’t fucking healthy.

  I held her securely, breathing in the scent of her shampoo as a million thoughts swirled through my brain. She’d healed me, made me a better man, yet none of that could erase my past. I held on to hope that since she’d forgiven me once before, she could find a way to do it again. If only there was a way to show her how sorry I was, she could understand my dark past was truly behind me.

  Chapter Eleven

  Knox

  “Guys, come on, we’re going to be late.” I corralled my brothers toward the front door and they groggily obliged, slipping into shoes and coats.

  “If this is lunch, why do we have to be up at the crack of dawn?” Jaxon yawned. His face looked a hell of a lot better since the beat down, just the hint of a shadow darkened his left cheekbone.

  “Because,” I said. “There’s training beforehand and we need to have everything ready for one hundred fifty people by noon. Come on.”

  I’d arranged for us to volunteer at a church today to serve lunch to a Mothers Against Drunk Drivers group that was having an all-day retreat. McKenna was meeting us there later. I knew it was fucked up that I hadn’t told her the truth yet about my own past with drunk driving. I guess this was my own twisted way of trying to make amends.

  When we arrived at the church, we parked in the back and tramped down the stairs to the basement and into the large kitchen. McKenna was already inside, and a large smile spread across her face when she saw us.

  “Hi!” She bounded across the room and flung herself into my arms. “This was such a good idea.” She kissed me warmly on the mouth. It was more than I deserved and a twinge of guilt flashed through me. Shit.

  “Hi, angel,” I murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

  She greeted each of the boys in a similar fashion, with hugs and kisses on their cheeks. She was so good to them, filling the void left behind when Mom died, that my chest tightened and I had to turn away.

  “So, where do we start?” I surveyed the large kitchen.

  McKenna had gotten there early and met with the church kitchen staff. We were making lasagna, salad, and brownies, and she gave each of us an apron as she explained the tasks.

  Tucker and I teamed up on the brownies, Jaxon was going to make the salad, and McKenna and Luke were going to prepare the main dish. It would take us a couple of hours to prepare the huge batches of food, plus cleanup time afterward.

  Putting Tucker on dessert probably wasn’t the wisest idea. He kept stealing the pieces of chocolate I was roughly chopping. I glanced over at Jaxon, who was chopping tomatoes into slimy little chunks, and almost chuckled at the disdain on his face. Public service was good for him. Maybe this would get him to open his eyes and see there was more to life than gambling and girls.

  McKenna and Luke gathered their ingredients and were beginning to assemble pans of lasagna noodles and sauce.

  “You sure you want me to have all that money?” Luke asked her, a questioning look in his eyes. He wasn’t any more used to handouts than I was, and that made me proud.

  “Of course I’m sure. It would make me very happy to see you off at college. That’s the best use of the money I could think of.”

  “You’re too good to us.” He playfully tossed a noodle in her direction.

  McKenna caught it and smiled at him. “Yeah, well, I kind of have a thing for your brother…”

  He laughed. “Trust me, I noticed.” His expression grew thoughtful for a few moments as he layered cheese over the bed of noodles. “It’s just really cool of you to forgive him.”

  “Forgive him?” she questioned, peering up from her task to meet his eyes with an inquisitive expression.

  My stomach turned sour and dropped like a stone.

  Chapter Twelve

  McKenna

  Luke and I were elbow deep in noodles and tomato sauce, and I was trying to understand what he meant about me forgiving Knox. I knew Knox’s background as a sex addict, but since I’d forgiven that a while ago, something told me there was more Luke was referring to.

  Using my clean hand to push a lock of hair behind my ear, I turned to face Luke. “What do you mean?”

  He swallowed and his gaze wandered over to Knox’s. Knox looked like someone had punched him in the stomach. His shoulders were rounded forward and his face had gone pale. Knox shook his head at Luke, and his mouth pulled into a frown.

  My hands felt shaky and I gripped the edge of the counter for support. “L-Luke?” I stammered.

  The entire kitchen went still and silent as the weight of this moment bore down on us. Something was about to happen. Something Knox didn’t want me to know, if his reaction was any indication.

  “It’s time, Knox. She needs to know. No more hiding, right?” Luke said, his voice barely above a whisper.

  I licked my lips and faced Luke again, my eyes begging his for the truth.

  Without any further prompting, Luke took a deep breath and began. “All of this—Knox cleaning up his act, us being here today, volunteering for a drunk-driving cause—it’s Knox’s way of trying. Listen to me. He loves you. Don’t forget that.”

  I nodded slowly, fighting to comprehend where this was headed. “Tell me, Luke.”

  Luke’s gaze shot over to Knox once again. “You gonna do this, or should I?”

  Knox dropped the knife he’d been holding onto the chopping block. “I will.”

  Escorting me to a back hallway, Knox’s fingertips at the small of my back felt cold and lifeless. He was terrified for me to learn whatever he was about to tell me, and I was equally as scared. Just as my life had begun to stabilize, I sensed everything I thought I knew was about to change. The feeling was disorienting.

  Knox and I stood in silence for several heartbeats. I was torn between wanting him to tell me the truth about whatever it was he’d been hiding, and living in blissful ignorance for a while longer.

  “You know I love you, right?” he started.

  I nodded slowly. The sentiment that sometimes love wasn’t enough pushed itself to the forefront of my brain, and I steeled myself for whatever he was going to say next.

  “You never asked about the reason I showed up at that first sex addicts meeting. And I never offered the information.”

  He was right. I didn’t know why it never occurred to me before, but now I was filled with curiosity. What had prompted him to take that step? I recalled he’d said that he was there at the request of his counselor. “You were in counseling,” I offered.

  “Yes.”

  “Why?” I asked softly. I could only assume it had something to do with sex, and I shuddered at the thought. Had he hurt someone? Done something awful?

  “We should talk about this later, when we have more—”

  I shook my head. I needed to know. “I know about your past, what more could you possibly tell me?”

  “You don’t know everything.” He hung his head.

  “You’re scaring me. Did you father a child you never told me about?”

  “No. But I have a feeling that might be easier for you to stomach.”

  “Knox. Just tell me.”

  “All right,” he said, running a hand roughly through his hair so it stood in odd directions. “Promise me one thing. That you won’t run.”

  I nodded. “I’m here. You have me.”

  Agony twisted his features. “Before I met you, I was a mess. Weekends were my escape from reality, and I
used them to their fullest. I drank too much, fucked too often, and didn’t really care about the ramifications.”

  I waited for him to continue, the sound of my own heartbeat thundering in my ears.

  “One night last summer, I got a little too fucked up. And instead of walking home like I should have, or calling a cab, I drove my Jeep home. Or at least, I tried to.”

  My hands clutched at the cement wall behind me, fighting for something solid to hold on to.

  “I was pulled over and arrested that night for drunk driving. I had no business being behind the wheel, and I spent that night and most of the next day in jail. My brothers were terrified something horrible had happened to me. I’m all they have, and it was a huge fucking wake-up call that I couldn’t abandon them like everyone else had. I knew I could never do something that reckless ever again, but the damage was done. I was convicted of drunk driving, sentenced to community service, and ordered to see a counselor for anger management after smarting off with the judge. The counselor I saw diagnosed me with sexual addiction rather than anger issues, and referred me to SAA.”

  I felt betrayed in the deepest way. Knox’s past had collided with my own, and the wreckage was overwhelming. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

  “When I asked you about how you became a sex addiction counselor, I’d wanted to hear about your sordid past, maybe learn that you’d overcome this addiction yourself and turned your struggle into helping others. But instead, you were simply a good person who was stepping in to help. It made me feel like a fucking charity case. I couldn’t tell you then. And since I wanted to see where this was headed, I didn’t.”

  Part of me understood why he didn’t open up with that information right away. But later, once we were together and he knew about my parents, there was just no excuse. And now him being here today, volunteering at a drunk-driving charity, it felt like a sorry excuse for an apology. I felt tricked and cheated. The man I’d come to love with my whole heart had hidden part of himself from me.