When We Fall

by Kendall Ryan

  “Have you guys had dinner yet?”

  “Nope,” they chimed in unison.

  Unable to sit and wait any longer, I ventured into the kitchen to see what I could make for dinner. The cabinets and fridge were pretty much bare, but I pieced together bread and cheese for grilled cheese sandwiches and a couple of cans of soup. I hope Knox wasn’t expecting a gourmet chef with me moving in. But I somehow knew he wouldn’t be. The guys had been taking care of themselves for many years already. They wouldn’t expect me to fill the role of maid or cook; I could just be me. The thought made me smile. The soup bubbled away on the stove and I added the last of the sandwiches to a big platter, carrying the whole thing out to the dining table.

  “Boys, dinner!” I called.

  I realized the extra commotion I heard from the living room meant Knox had arrived home. My stomach somersaulted and suddenly food was the last thing on my mind.

  Knox entered the kitchen and his weary expression found mine. “McKenna?”

  “Hi.”

  “What are you…”

  “I made dinner.”

  His gaze ventured to the table. “I see that.”

  “Boys, come and eat up while it’s still hot. I’m just going to talk to Knox,” I instructed them. It was all the encouragement they needed. They descended on the food like a pack of hungry wolves.

  “Guys, save some for McKenna,” Knox said before shooting me an apologetic look.

  We headed into the kitchen while the guys busied themselves with the food I’d made in the dining room.

  “Sorry about them. You’d think they’ve never seen food before,” he joked.

  I smiled. “It’s okay.”

  “What’s going on, angel? I take you didn’t come here just to make dinner.”

  “No. I didn’t. I’m here because you were right. Your past was hard for me to accept, but it’s also the thing that led you straight to me, and I can’t help but think it was fate or maybe some divine intervention.”

  His forehead creased and he took a step closer, obviously trying to understand what I was telling him.

  I took a deep breath and continued. “The exact thing I was running from led me to Chicago and pushed you straight into my path. I’m not going to lie and say this isn’t hard for me. It’s the hardest test I’ve ever had to overcome. Harder than coping with life without my parents. Harder than leaving my hometown behind. But loving you isn’t a choice. And it’s worth it, Knox. You’re everything to me. You, your brothers, this home and family you’re offering me. I want it. I want all of it. I won’t allow my past to rob me of any more joy. You messed up, but you’ve changed. You’re not the same man who got behind that wheel. And I understand the life circumstances that drove you down that path. I know there will be bumps and bruises as we figure this out together. But I’m not going anywhere. You have me. You’ve had my heart right from the beginning.”

  Without a word, Knox gathered me in his arms, tugging me to his chest and lifting my feet from the floor. I buried my nose in the crook between his neck and his shoulder and inhaled the scent I’d missed so much. “God, it feels good to hold you, to have you back,” he said.

  “You have me. And I’m planning on staying if you still want me here.”

  He pulled back to meet my eyes, still holding me so my feet didn’t reach the floor. “For good?”

  I nodded, a big dopey grin overtaking my mouth.

  “I don’t know how I could possibly deserve you, but I love you, McKenna.”

  “I love you,” I returned, “and your entire rowdy family.” We could hear the boys arguing over how to divide up the food in the other room.

  He grinned down at me and kissed my forehead. “Should we go tell the boys?”

  I nodded.

  Back inside the dining room, I saw that the entire plate of sandwiches was gone except for stray pieces of crust, and only about an inch of soup remained in the pot. I guess I’d underestimated the appetites of three growing boys. I’d have to remember that next time I made them dinner.

  “Guys, I have some news.” Knox’s hand found mine and he linked our fingers together, tugging me closer. “I asked McKenna to live with us and she said yes.”

  Luke’s face immediately broke into a wide grin and all three of them looked surprised, but happy. I wondered if they’d ask deeper questions, like what this meant for the relationship between Knox and me, or logistical ones, like how we would divvy up bathroom time and share household chores. But the room remained completely silent and still.

  Until Tucker passed gas.

  Loudly.

  Okay, so apparently they’re comfortable around me.

  Everyone broke into fits of laughter, me included.

  “I think you should consider yourself christened. Welcome to the family,” Jaxon said.

  “Rule numero uno, no farting at the dinner table, dude.” Luke frowned at Tucker, who in turn stuck out his tongue.

  “On that note, should we go upstairs?” Knox asked.

  I nodded, not wanting to stick around and experience the smell that had already caused Jaxon and Luke to run for cover while Tucker laughed hysterically.

  “I will feed you, but first I just need to be alone with you,” Knox whispered near my ear as we started up the stairs.

  I wondered what he had in mind for this alone time.

  “What do you want for dinner?” he asked, once we were all alone in his bedroom. Our bedroom. I wondered if cock would be the wrong answer. My recovering sex-addict boyfriend was turning me into a raging sex addict. And I liked it.

  “I’m not really hungry for food just yet.” I met his deep brown gaze and bit my lower lip. I had no idea if my sexy stare was appealing, but the low growl that rumbled in his chest and the way he stalked toward me caused my stomach to coil into a tight knot. I wanted him. I wanted everything—our future—all the pleasure he could give me, and I couldn’t wait another second.

  Knox

  I had a new addiction: loving McKenna. The fact that she was here at all, let alone telling me that she still wanted to be with me was amazing, and that she was moving in…well, she continually blew my mind with her willingness to forgive. She inspired me in so many ways. There would be no going back to that lost and broken man I was before her. I believed what she said was true. We were brought into each other’s lives at just the right moment.

  McKenna secured her hands around the back of my neck, her fingers curling into my hair. I lowered my mouth to kiss her sweet lips, but held part of myself back. Sex wasn’t the right way to show her how I felt about her, but in that moment, I didn’t think she cared. She rubbed herself wantonly against my groin, causing my dick to harden, which wasn’t abnormal around her. My cock had been in a semierect state since the day I met her. She’d become my everything. There was no turning back now.

  I’d lived without the gentle, loving touch of a woman for so long, though, that I wasn’t about to stop McKenna. Her fingers continued toying with my hair while our mouths moved together.

  I’d loved my mother so much. I wasn’t afraid to admit it. I was a momma’s boy growing up. Losing her took a piece of me that I wouldn’t get back, a piece that no woman could ever replace, no matter how hard I’d tried. And trust me, I’d tried. I fell into bed with girl after girl, looking for some kind of connection. But since my hardened heart believed that love only ended in pain, I never got my happy ending. It was something I thought I’d live without. Until I met McKenna. I had to love and forgive myself before I could open myself up to another. Opening my zipper wasn’t enough. I knew McKenna would give me some line about how it was normal, how sex addicts substituted sexual experiences for emotional intimacy, but it all finally clicked.

  “Knox…” She breathed out my name, then inhaled against my neck. A jolt of desire shot straight to my groin, hardening me the rest of the way.

  “Yeah, angel?”

  Her hands found the tense bulge below my belt and she gave him a gentle squeez
e. “Don’t make me beg.”

  Christ, how could I say no to that? Big blue eyes met mine, urging me on, making me want to give her whatever she asked for.

  “I need to say a few things first.” I fought to control my pounding heartbeat that I could feel pulsing in my cock. Damn.

  McKenna waited, blinking up at me silently. God, she was beautiful. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to her natural beauty—to her blue eyes that showed her every thought and emotion, to the soft curves that swayed when she walked, to her too-big heart that caused her to take care of everything and everyone in her path.

  Taking her left hand, I guided her to my bed, lowering us both onto the edge. I stroked her naked ring finger, dreaming about the day I’d make her mine. I wanted to be the one to tuck her into bed each night, the first one to see her sleepy smile in the morning, the only man to listen to the gentle sounds of her breathing as she fell into a deep sleep. I wanted to be the only man to make love to her. And I told her all that and more, the words rushing out from me as I watched her eyes grow teary.

  “Shhh, don’t cry. Just tell me you want all that, too.”

  She nodded, her misty blue eyes looking happy despite the tears. Using my thumbs, I brushed the dampness from her cheeks.

  “Will you marry me, angel?”

  McKenna’s voice broke in a tiny whisper and she flung her arms around my neck, repeating the word yes again and again. Never had one little word sounded so good.

  I felt like pumping my fist in the air, but settled for squeezing her tight in my arms and peppering her neck with kisses while she continued to sob quietly. Actually, I wasn’t sure if it was crying or laughing since her mouth was curled up in a pretty smile.

  “Say something, baby. Is this too fast for you?”

  She shook her head. “It’s perfect, Knox. I want to be with you always.” A crease pinched her brow.

  “What is it?”

  “I just…I don’t want a big wedding. With my parents gone…”

  I understood completely. Big events and holidays were hard without a family around you to celebrate with. But I knew we would make new traditions as the years passed. “Whatever you want.”

  “Maybe just the courthouse—with the boys there, too.”

  “Whatever you want,” I promised again. “But you will wear a pretty dress for me, and we will celebrate.”

  She nodded, her smile blossoming wider.

  Knowing I couldn’t stave off my raw need for her any longer, I pressed her back against the mattress, bringing my mouth to hers in a searing kiss.

  Removing her clothing piece by piece, I trailed my mouth down her body, licking and biting her succulent flesh. My teeth grazed her rib cage, earning me a tiny shriek as I moved lower, leaving damp, sucking kisses along her belly. McKenna squirmed, her hips undulating, and her chest rising and falling rapidly. Pushing her panties to the side, I swept my finger along her silken center, earning me a small whimper of pleasure. My own groan of satisfaction followed. I loved making her feel good. She didn’t even have to touch me. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. If I didn’t come soon I’d probably have a massive case of blue balls later.

  “You want me to kiss this sweet pussy?” I murmured, my lips just millimeters from her smooth core.

  A helpless groan and her fist in my hair were apparently the only responses I was getting. I pressed an innocent kiss against her pussy lips, before spreading her apart so I could run my tongue along the length of her. Her fist tightened in my hair, holding me right where she wanted me. With my mouth curling into a smile, my tongue found her clit and I licked her over and over, timing my tempo to the sounds of her moans. It was easy to read just what she liked.

  When she was close, I pushed my index finger inside her, pressing against the spot deep inside on her front wall, and I felt her body contract as she started to come. Adding my middle finger, I continued fucking her with my hand while my mouth latched onto a nipple. “You like when I kiss your sexy tits, huh, baby?” She rode my fingers, pumping her hips as her eyes locked onto mine.

  The force of McKenna’s orgasm caused her to clench around my fingers and cry out in bliss. Fuck, I needed to think about soundproofing my bedroom. I loved how hard I could make her come, though. Watching her cheeks and neck color with blush as the blood rushed to the surface of her skin was a huge turn-on. I loved the effect I had on her.

  Stripping myself of my clothes in three seconds flat, I gripped my eager cock, stroking it slowly and moved alongside her. “I need to be inside you so bad.”

  “Yes…” she said and groaned.

  Her pussy was still hypersensitive from her orgasm, and not to mention incredibly tight as I tried to penetrate her. “Relax for me, baby,” I reminded her. McKenna drew a deep breath and worked at relaxing her muscles, allowing me to slip inside several more inches. She felt like a hot molten fist squeezing me. It was a testament to my control that I didn’t immediately come.

  Tensing my muscles and clenching my ass, I pumped into her hard and fast. The next time I would go slow, but I needed to spill myself inside her. I couldn’t explain it, not even to myself. But I needed to give in to this raw, primal connection we had to show myself it was more than sex. I loved her and I knew she felt it, regardless of whether the sex was sweet and slow or hard and fast.

  I met her eyes and kissed her again, unwilling to break our connection in any way. With her blue eyes on mine, her tongue lightly stroking my bottom lip, and my cock buried deep inside her, I found the meaning and connection I’d been looking for all along. Sex with the woman I loved was better than I ever could have imagined.

  Forcing myself to slow, if only to draw out her pleasure and mine, I felt her begin to contract around me again. I dragged my cock in and out slowly, grinding my groin against hers to put pressure directly on her clit. Her tight little pussy clamped down hard around me as she climaxed. Fuck it. I was going to come.

  My own release hit me like a punch to the gut and I cried out her name, burying my face against her neck as I spilled myself inside her.

  McKenna’s phone chimed from the bedside table and she reached for it, checking her text messages. The sheet dropped away from her chest, and though we’d already gone twice, my body didn’t fail to notice her luscious curves.

  “Who is it?” I asked, trailing a hand along the curve of her spine.

  “Brian.” She grinned.

  “I just gave you three orgasms and you’re smiling about a text from Brian?”

  She frowned and slugged me on the shoulder. “Hush. You and I both know there’s not a thing wrong with your ego.”

  She had me there. I knew how to make my girl insane with desire.

  “Amanda said yes,” she continued. “She’s moving in with him.”

  “Wow. Those two? Really?”

  She nodded. “They hit it off. And I guess when you know, you know.”

  “Believe me, I know.” I smirked and gave her butt a playful swat. We’d had a bumpy ride, but I knew that would only make us appreciate the good times more. And something told me there were lots of good times in store for us.

  McKenna was my addiction.

  But somehow I knew that was an addiction she’d approve of. All-consuming need coursed through me and I hauled her over top of me.

  “Again?” she asked, her voice rising in surprise to see I was already hard for her again.

  “Never question my cock’s stamina when it comes to you, angel.” I nudged at her wet opening and a soft, whispery whine was her only response. “Not too sore, are you?”

  “Not yet.”

  I sank inside her slowly, knowing she was all I’d ever need.

  Epilogue

  McKenna

  Two years later

  “See you tonight, buddy.” I kissed Tucker on the cheek and then watched him board the big yellow school bus waiting at the curb. I stood there for a moment too long, watching him pull away and enjoying the feel of the sun sinking into my pores.
>
  It had been a long winter, made longer by the fact that Jaxon had been in jail for dealing drugs for the past several months. He’d been released last week and had spent the time at home with us, rediscovering himself and preparing for a new life—one away from drugs and gambling and girls. He would spend the summer at a rehabilitation ranch, working and learning to live as a better man.

  Knox had been quiet and withdrawn when Jaxon had left. It had taken me some time to get through to him, to get him to see that we were all responsible for our own choices, and that Jaxon was going to make things right. I also had to remind him that we had a lot to be thankful for, the least of which were Luke’s achievements at college. He was doing phenomenally well. That seemed to soothe Knox. But I knew it wasn’t easy for him being the head of this household. He loved without regard, worried from time to time, and was fiercely protective. It was just one more thing to love about him.

  I headed back inside, giddy at the thought that Knox and I were both off work today while Tucker was at school. One thing I never counted on since moving in two years ago was the lack of true alone time. I could count on one hand the number of times when Knox and I had the house all to ourselves.

  I found him in the kitchen, sipping orange juice straight from the carton. I shook my head and made a tsking sound. Try as I might, there were just some habits I’d never break these boys of.

  “Hey, Mama,” Knox said, stuffing the carton back into the fridge as if I hadn’t just witnessed his violation of it.

  I giggled at the nickname. Tucker had started calling me Mama Kenna shortly after I moved in and Knox, who thought it was adorable, often used the nickname too, since he knew it always brought a smile to my lips.

  “Did you get that boy off to school?” He leaned back against the counter, letting me take in my fill of his naked torso.

  Momentarily distracted by the ridiculous six-pack staring back at me, it took me a moment to answer. “Uh-huh,” I managed.

  Knox grinned at my reaction. “Over two years later and I still get her weak in the knees.”