Ruined

by Jus Accardo

  Without a word, I lifted my hips to meet his. The contact was dizzying. Electric and powerful. He inhaled sharply, muscles tightening, as the spark of need behind his gray eye exploded into an all-out inferno. We’d crossed the point of no return.

  I guided his hand lower. “You should probably stop talking.”

  His lips met mine again, and this time, the fire nearly broke me. A small sigh escaped my lips as his hand trailed across my belly and traced its way downward until he came to my center. I gasped as his fingers worked, stroking a feathery line back and forth until I couldn’t stand it anymore. I moaned, pushing up to increase the friction, and Jax chuckled. The sound alone almost sent me over the top. Dark and filled with the promise of something explosive.

  Not Jax. Azirak. There was a subtle difference. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

  For a moment the pressure of his fingers disappeared, and I was about to protest, but they returned, sliding beneath the elastic of my underwear. As he teased me apart, he whispered, “Is this what you want? Does this please you?”

  I gasped again. The response was answer enough. The world exploded as he slipped his fingers inside, rocking them back and forth and sending the world shooting to the stars. No one had ever touched me there. I’d had sex, but this—no one had ever done this. I never imagined… Holy shit! I bit down on my bottom lip, sure I’d scream out as his pace increased. And I would have, too, if he hadn’t brought his mouth to mine. The kiss was all-consuming. Raw and possessive. I belonged to the man. I belonged to the demon.

  “You feel so fucking good under me,” he whispered against my lips as the movement of his fingers slowed, then disappeared. “So right.”

  “…Jax?”

  He was still staring, but his eyes had changed. Gray. Beautiful, amazing, and all gray. “Yeah, Sammy?”

  The sound of his voice against the silence was like nails scraping down my back. Sharp and welcome. Like liquid heat. I didn’t know where it came from, but I suddenly had to know. “I need to know… Did you mean what you said? That you loved—”

  A sound filled the air. A mix between a growl and a laugh. Jax dove forward and pinned me to the floor with his body, tongue darting in to open my mouth and lips moving furiously. He swung his leg over so he was above me, trailing scorching kisses along my jaw.

  “Love you?” he whispered at my ear. Breath warm and voice a deep, velvety whisper. “I fucking breathe you. Your face, your laugh, the way you chew at your bottom lip… All of it. All of you. Any light you think you see in me is an echo of you.”

  My heart nearly exploded.

  “This,” he breathed as he worked his way down my neck, “doesn’t change anything. I’m still leaving.” He moved back to my mouth, teasing my lips apart with the tip of his tongue. Pulling away for a single, agonizing second, he said, “But yeah, I love you. Always have.”

  “Can we do this?” The heat between us had reached critical mass, but the thought of him in agonizing pain was enough to give me pause.

  “It’s both of us, Sammy,” he said with a growl. “Azirak is here and in control, but its letting me—”

  Good enough for me. I kissed him hard.

  In a graceful swipe, my underwear was off, as was his, and the feel of him, hot as the sun and hard as stone, pressed up against my skin—and then suddenly with a growl, inside.

  He moved slowly at first, the rhythm sending glorious tingles through my body. He kissed me, never breaking contact. Lips. Neck. The curve of my breast. He was everywhere and I was riding a wave of pure ecstasy.

  His strokes quickened as he nibbled at the corner of my ear. “There’s only ever been you, Sammy,” he panted, warm breath caressing my neck. I moved with him, finding the pace that would send us over the edge. Fingers clutching. Muscles tightening. Breathing ragged. Waves of intensity like nothing I’d ever felt before.

  One last push and we both slipped over. Wildfires. Earthquakes. Tsunamis. All the shocking forces behind nature had nothing on this. This was perfect. This was right.

  This was mine.

  They were mine.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Jax

  I bit down on the inside of my cheek hard enough to taste blood. It was the only thing stopping the roar of pain that threatened to rip me in half. It started building moments after I kissed her, driving me closer and closer to the edge of insanity. Sam’s breathing was soft and even, her body like an inferno beside me. More than anything, I wanted to stay in that bed, her wrapped in my arms, and forget the outside world existed.

  Forget the demon existed.

  “How bad is it?” she whispered.

  I flinched at the sound of her voice. God. She knew me so fucking well. I thought about lying, but decided it would never work. She’d see right through it. Always did. Forcing a chuckle, I said, “How do you think it’d feel to have your lungs yanked out through your nose?” I threw off the covers. Azirak was bouncing images again. It wanted to stay here with Sam, yet after being with her, it needed to feed again. The dizzying back-and-forth—blood and agony alternating with flashes of Sam—made everything spin.

  She rolled over. “I’m thinking pretty unpleasant.”

  God. She was so fucking beautiful. Even with the slight frown tugging the corners of her lips down. A miracle. She was a miracle. One that loved me despite the fact that I’d shared her with a monster.

  This wouldn’t work.

  “I—I think I understand how it works now. With us.” I stumbled away from the bed, grabbing clothes along the way. Pants. Shirt. One boot. Through gritted teeth, I continued. “Being around you is hard, but not impossible. I think can take little bits of emotion here and there to keep Azirak under control. A nip of anger or a shot of fear, and it won’t do any damage. But when I get what I want—you, all of you—I’m flash-starving the demon. The good emotion just sucks the energy right out of us. Having it there while we—it made things…” God. This was so fucking hard. “Easier. We couldn’t have… If I didn’t let…”

  “Jax, it’s okay.” Sam sat up, the thin, scratchy hotel sheet wrapped tight around her chest. “So you’re saying it’s like burning too many calories. When you’re…happy?”

  I turned away and pulled on the other boot, fingers shaking as I knotted the laces to keep them in place. Actual ties were impossible. Anything requiring too much coordination or focus just wasn’t going to happen right now. “You’re the ultimate demon diet wrapped up in a sexy package. It’s—” A spasm went through me, stealing all the air. I needed to get out of there. Sam didn’t need to see this, and I certainly didn’t want her with me if Azirak took control again. The memory of the thing’s excitement, and then pleasure, while we were with Sam killed me. “I need to feed it.”

  Sam adjusted the sheet and nodded, flashing a heart-stopping smile. How had I stayed away for so long? More importantly, how the fuck was I going to leave? Being around her again only reminded me how perfectly we fit.

  Another spasm. Cutting it too close. Leaving her alone was risky, but it would be fast and I wouldn’t go far. With a nod, I was out the door.

  It took longer than I’d wanted, but I was able to hunt down a demon. I stumbled upon it just as I was about to give up and head in the direction of the club. That part of town was where all the drug deals went down. It’d be easy to find a lowlife or two to pick off. But the demon was preferable.

  Though not as strong as the one earlier, it calmed Azirak to the point where the near-blinding tension in my muscles eased, and the pain in my skull dulled to a barely there throb. And bonus? It came with zero guilt and a little extra kick. This was something I could get used to. Taking demons instead of kicking the shit out of humans. Double the energy and ten times less guilt. If I’d known offing them would afford him such a jolt, I would have been doing it all along.

  By the time I made it back to the hotel with a new shirt for Sam, I wasn’t any closer to knowing what to do about the link. Sam’s life was tied to Chase�
��s, not to mention the whole hell-on-earth thing Azirak mentioned. I wasn’t clear on exactly what it meant, but it couldn’t be good. For anyone.

  I balanced the coffees I’d picked up from Musso’s in one hand, the shirt draped over my shoulder, and managed to unlock the door with the other without dropping anything. The bed was empty, the comforter tangled at the foot and the sheet piled on the floor. I set the coffee down. “Sammy?”

  No answer.

  There was a stillness in the room that left me cold. I tore across the floor and kicked open the door to the bathroom. It bounced twice, the rattle echoing off the tile, before stopping to reveal an empty room.

  Air. Maybe she went out to get some air. I rushed the door and stepped out into the sunlight. There was no one as far as the eye could see. Rick’s car was parked where I’d left it, the keys still heavy in my pocket. There was a noise on the other side of the room. The nightstand. My cell.

  I nearly tripped over my own two feet to get to it. “Sammy?”

  The person on the other end laughed. “Not exactly.”

  Azirak rumbled. “Chase, I swear, if you touch her I’ll rip your limbs off one by one and feed them to you.”

  Another laugh. The same cocky snicker I’d heard my entire life. “Graphic. You kiss my girl with that mouth?”

  Azirak raged and words were impossible. All that came out was a low, feral growl. If my fingers squeezed any tighter, the cell would be toast.

  “You’ll need to come down to Harlow General.”

  “The hospital?” My heart skipped a beat. I fell back into the chair, Azirak feeding me a thousand horrible scenarios in graphic detail. “Why? What did you do?”

  “Just come down, Jax. Now.”

  The line went dead.

  I made it in record time. Chase hadn’t been specific, so I had no idea where in the hospital they were, but the best guess was the ER. As it turned out, I was right.

  “Don’t,” Chase said, standing. He and Sam were seated in the chairs right outside the emergency room waiting area. Whatever the reason was for dragging me here, Sam seemed fine. “Before you attack me or make a huge scene, consider this. All it will take is one word from me and she’ll do something nasty. Maybe to herself. Maybe to someone else. You’re going to need to play this chill, brother.”

  Sam’s eyes were wide and her lips pressed in a thin line. She sat without a sound and avoided eye contact with anyone who passed. He’d ordered her to be silent. That was the only way she wouldn’t be kicking up trouble.

  “Why are we here?” I asked. The anger Azirak was throwing off had me seeing double. Every inch of me hummed with the need to tear Chase apart.

  “The doctors were wrong about the cancer. They underestimated the spread of the disease.”

  At first his words didn’t make sense. Doctors? Cancer? But when understanding came, it was followed closely by an icy wave of panic and fear. No. Not now. I couldn’t do this now.

  Chase turned and quirked a finger at Sam, who stood and followed him down the hall without objection. Over his shoulder, he said, “Better hurry, Jax. There’s not much time left to say good-bye.”

  I followed them down the halls and around corners, numb. My uncle, much like Sam, was my lifeline to reality. I couldn’t count the times I’d sat on the floor in some dump, curled tight and hating myself, while the eldest Flynn talked me through the guilt from hundreds of miles away. It was during those calls that I found the strength not to follow our ancestors’ footsteps. Rick, along with Sam’s memory, had been the rope that kept me from the hole.

  When we rounded the last corner and Chase pulled back the curtain that hung around the last bed at the end of the long row, I felt sick. Rick lay with his eyes closed, surrounded by tubes and wires. There was a machine to track his heartbeat to the right, and something else that let out a soft beep every few seconds to the left.

  “Rick?” Chase said, stepping up to the bed. Sam followed. “We’re here, man.”

  I moved closer, torn between watching my uncle slip from this world, and watching Chase and Sam.

  His eyes fluttered open, and despite the situation, the elder Flynn smiled. “My boys. I’m so glad you made it.”

  I took my uncle’s hand. His skin was so cold. Like he was already gone. “We’re here, Rick.”

  Rick sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he was smiling again. “I was hoping to stick around for a while longer, but doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.”

  “Don’t say that,” Chase said, taking his other hand. I was glad our uncle would never find out the truth. It would have destroyed him.

  Rick squeezed both our hands and pulled us together. He placed one over the other with mine in between, as a series of body-racking coughs shook him. When he managed to catch his breath, he said, “I’m so sorry.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry about,” I said.

  But Rick didn’t seem to hear. “I put it off for so long,” he continued. “And now I’ll never have time to make it up to you—but you have to know the truth.”

  “Shh,” Chase said. “Whatever it is can wait.”

  Rick shook his head. The movement cost him. It took several moments, wheezing and coughing, for him to catch him breath. “I thought if I kept you apart, I could change things. That I could keep one of you from destroying the other. History, though… History has a way of repeating itself, doesn’t it?” He turned his head and stared at Sam.

  She paled. “Rick, what are you—”

  “They’re born. Over and over again. Once every few generations, they find their way into a Tainted—but Tainted are rare. It takes a special kind of monster to leave a stain on his entire line. One or the other has come and gone throughout the generations of our family, but never both. Never at the same time. And now, with them both here…”

  My heart thundered until I could barely hear what he was saying. “Rick, you’re not making any sense.”

  “The intense anger you felt toward Chase growing up, the itch to hurt him—it was never your fault, Jax. It was the demon. One of two clan leaders trapped in mortal bodies. Demon royals.” Rick’s head rolled to the left, so that he was looking at Chase. “You were always better at controlling it, weren’t you? I knew, though. I always knew.”

  Chase was pale. He was shaking his head and swiping the back of his hand across his eyes.

  “You’re good boys. Strong. You can beat this. You have to beat—have to beat this.”

  “We will,” my brother said, voice cracking. He was squeezing our uncle’s hand so hard that his knuckles had gone white. “We will. Together. All three of us.”

  I wanted to agree. We could do it. Together. But the words wouldn’t come. This was it. The end of something and the beginning of another. Rick had always been the glue that held us together. Death wasn’t just stealing the only father I’d ever known, it was stealing my entire family.

  “No. For the sake of the world, you have to walk out that door and never, ever see each other again.”

  “Rick—”

  Rick grew agitated, pulling at the sheets and shaking his head. “If you spill each other’s blood, it will open the gates… Hell…”

  His chest rose and fell for a moment, before falling still.

  It was over. Rick Flynn was gone.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Sam

  I wanted to scream. Of course, that was impossible. As we’d entered the hospital, Chase commanded me not to speak. I didn’t get the chance to tell Rick how much I loved him. Now, standing over his bed with the Flynn boys on either side, the darkest parts of me were glad he was gone. He’d be spared whatever horrible things came next.

  “Well, that’s that then,” Chase whispered, dragging his hand from beneath Jax’s. He flinched when Rick’s fingers slipped from his and fell still on the stark white sheets. There were tears in his eyes, but his expression had reverted to cold indifference. “You take care of things here. I’m going to ta
ke our girl here for a little ride. Obviously I have some thinking to do.” He grabbed my arm and started toward the door, but Jax was in front of us in an instant. The expression on his face terrified me, while at the same time, sent a shiver of excitement shooting across my skin.

  “Definitely not going to happen.”

  Chase growled and adjusted his hold. If he squeezed any tighter, he’d break the skin. I could almost feel the anger coming off him. Furious, he spat, “Are you that disrespectful that you’d fight with me over Rick’s still-warm corpse?”

  Jax cringed at his brother’s words, then stiffened. There was a spark of something dangerous in his eyes and before I could blink, his hand shot out, fingers wrapping around Chase’s neck. “Sam isn’t leaving here with you. Let her go.”

  Chase stiffened. “Don’t. Fucking. Push. Me. Not now…”

  Jax stayed where he was.

  “Kill me, then… Wait. You can’t, can you? Hell on earth. Wouldn’t want that, now, would we?”

  Jax, without hesitation, pushed forward and slammed into his brother, hands tightening around his neck. The three of us flew backward, crashing into the tiled wall as Chase’s airway closed off. How did I know?

  Because I couldn’t breathe.

  I groped at the invisible hands around my neck for a moment before the room began to water around the edges. Jax had one hell of a grip. Swaying, I grabbed the edge of a metal cart, an echoing clatter filling the room as I fell, struggling for air.

  Jax, momentarily pulled from his homicidal haze, whirled around as his brother’s laugh filled the room. “Guess you forgot about that, too, huh? Seems to me like you’re well and truly fucked, brother.”

  He stumbled away from Chase, horrified, and blessed air came rushing back. Jax took a step toward me, but Chase cleared his throat and waggled a finger. “Don’t even think about it.”

  But Jax ignored him, grabbing my hand, helping me stand. “Let’s go,” he said, threading his fingers through mine.