Be My Hope: A BWWM Romance (Make It Marriage Book 7)

by Nia Arthurs

  Brett.

  My heart knows even if I can’t see him.

  “Thanks, Boss.” I squeeze her hand and run off, praying that I can get myself together so when I face Brett again at the cafe, I won’t be shaken.

  Or… you know.

  There’s always another option.

  I can quit my job and never see him again.

  Thirty

  Brett

  Tierra’s accusation that I was texting other women while I was with her fills my brain, rattling around like marbles in a tin can.

  Damn.

  I left my phone on the bed when Hansley stopped by to offer his condolences. Normally, I keep that device on me at all times. It’s where I do my business and facilitate all my meetings—both formal and informal.

  But Tierra distracted me. I was more worried about helping her get a few more minutes of sleep than that stupid device.

  And that decision came back to haunt me.

  No wonder she’d picked up that scrap of underwear and hurled it at me. No wonder she assumed that I’d been lying to her. She misunderstood.

  I clench my jaw as my fingers tighten on the steering wheel.

  The question now is… am I going to straighten her out?

  If I do nothing, this can be a clean break.

  I let her go.

  Give myself room to protect my heart.

  No attachments.

  No temptations.

  She won’t be able to touch me if she hates me.

  I saw it in her eyes back at the office. There was a tug between us, a force pushing us together. But even when our eyes connected, Tierra held on to that anger.

  She’s been hurt too many times.

  Burned too badly.

  There’s no way she’ll let herself be vulnerable around me again.

  And in turn, I won’t have to offer my raw, unvarnished heart and place it in her hands.

  My chest aches like someone’s taken a bat to it.

  I don’t like that option.

  I hate that option.

  If I could hurl it out the window of my high rise office I would.

  So, are you going to tell her she had it all wrong? And then what?

  And then…

  I don’t know.

  I have no freaking clue.

  It’s my first time feeling like this.

  Being so obsessed with a woman.

  Not just her body.

  Damn.

  Tierra’s more than that to me.

  I want her laughter.

  I want her smiling.

  I want her torturing me with more country music.

  All of that.

  You have to offer yourself in exchange.

  Fear tightens around my neck.

  I see my mother with her hand on the butt of the gun.

  Finger on the trigger.

  My father on the ground at her feet.

  He cheated on her first.

  He broke her trust.

  Smashed her to pieces.

  And things spiraled out of control from there.

  Love is like a wild and untamed animal.

  It can’t be leashed.

  Can’t be controlled.

  At any moment, it could swing toward passion or murder.

  At any moment, it could snuff out a life.

  I can’t trust it.

  Even if I want to put my hope in Tierra.

  That she’ll be different.

  That it’ll be different with her.

  Damn.

  The road blurs in front of me.

  I wish I could talk to Shar. My sister would straighten me out. Make sense of this chaos. She was always good at that. Getting me to listen to my heart instead of fear.

  Suddenly, two bright lights flash in front of me.

  A truck honks.

  I focus on the road and realize I’ve drifted too far out into the other lane.

  My heart jumps to my throat. I jerk the wheel back, slamming on the brakes and spinning violently over to the proper side of the highway.

  The truck blazes past, narrowly missing me.

  I pull over to the side of the road.

  Rest my forehead on the steering wheel.

  Suck in a deep, panic-soaked breath.

  Nothing in my life has come easy.

  Freaking nothing.

  Everything I have, I worked hard for.

  Everything I built required sacrifice. Discipline. Integrity.

  I devoted myself to building a better life for my sister because it was the life she deserved. But I never saw myself enjoying the fruits of that labor alone, jumping from one woman to the next.

  Restless.

  Unsatisfied.

  Always pushing for more.

  Tierra woke me up on a primal level.

  Now I can’t find my way without her.

  I get back on the road, knowing what I have to do.

  I have to get Tierra back.

  Because I can’t live without her.

  I walk into the cafe ten minutes later and, immediately, I’m engulfed by the warm scent of baked goods—cookies, brownies, and cupcakes.

  “Brett!” a deep voice calls. Brendon Montgomery greets me from a table.

  Brendon’s one of the few men in posh high society that isn’t a complete snob. When I first started making money, it was near impossible to make the connections I needed to take my business to the other level.

  The fact that I came from poverty didn’t help my case. People were looking to exploit rather than help me, and with no huge corporation or company in my corner backing me up, I was easy pickings.

  Brendon swooped in and took a chance on me. His investment propelled our company to new heights.

  I’ll always be grateful to him for his intervention. Back then, he offered money because he believed in me. Today, I’ve paid him back ten-fold.

  Kayla is cuddled into his side, a welcoming smile on her face. Brendon has his arm around her and his chin nestled on top of her head. They look like they’re fused together, melting into one another with no intention to let go.

  I nod at him.

  Sweep my gaze around.

  I notice that the dessert has been set up in front of three tables that were pushed together. My stomach grumbles, but I tear my eyes away from the spread and look for Tierra.

  There are about five couples in front of me.

  No Tierra.

  Damn.

  “She’s coming soon,” Kayla says as if she can read my mind. “She’s running late.”

  I dip my chin.

  Stand behind the chair next to Venus.

  The gorgeous matchmaker is holding hands with a tall, broad-shouldered guy. He’s vaguely familiar to me, though he doesn’t run in my circles.

  I stare at him a little longer and it clicks.

  Art.

  He’s an influential painter.

  Last time I went to an art gallery showing his work, the painting went for almost a quarter of a million.

  “Brett, this is my fiancé Troy.”

  “Hey.” Troy tips his chin up.

  “Fiancé of how long, Venus?” Amina teases.

  She’s sitting at the other side of the table, her dark hands wrapped around a guy with a thick beard. His broad shoulders strain against a flannel shirt and he looks over at Amina like she’s his entire universe.

  “Look, not everyone of us is rushing to the altar, alright?” Venus rolls her eyes. “I like the idea of taking off one day and just getting the deed done in Vegas.”

  Troy laughs. “One day, I might just drag her down the aisle.”

  “And I’d let you.” She kisses him.

  “I’m Matt.” The lumberjack stretches across the table.

  I take his hand.

  They’re rough. Full of callouses.

  “Amina’s soon-to-be husband.” He smiles at her.

  She smiles back.

  “I’m Lucas.” A man with thick black hair and intelligent eyes poi
nts to himself. He’s wearing a turtleneck and black slacks that remind me of the stereotypical professor. All he needs is a pair of glasses to complete the look.

  “Let me finish out this introduction really quick or we’ll be here all day.” A woman with dark skin and a bright smile gestures to herself. “I’m Ina, Lucas’s girlfriend. Over there we have the children—”

  “Hey!” A college-aged guy with dark hair and long limbs protests.

  I tilt my head. “You’re Jonas Greer.” Though I don’t usually have time to watch sports, I keep track of the highlights. “Didn’t you just get drafted to the NBA?” I ask.

  He shrugs.

  The dark-skinned girl at his side beams proudly. “Yes, he did.”

  “That’s Nellie.” Ina nods to the girl who’s obviously Jonas’s girlfriend. “Those two knuckleheads on their other side are Brogan and Elizabeth.”

  “What?” Brogan pops his head up from where he’d been nuzzling Elizabeth’s neck. “Did someone call for me?”

  Elizabeth giggles and climbs out of his lap to take her own seat. “Sorry about that, guys. We swear we’re listening now.”

  Venus rolls her eyes. “They’re newlyweds. Sort of. It’s a really long story.”

  I tap the back of the chair and glance outside.

  There aren’t any more vehicles turning down this lane.

  The little minx.

  Tierra’s not coming.

  Does she really think she can run from me?

  I back away from the Make It Marriage crew. “Sorry, guys. I realized I have somewhere to be.”

  “But you just got here.” Kayla says, straightening.

  “I’ll be in touch.” I give them all a sweeping, polite nod and rush to my car.

  Ten minutes later, I’m at Tierra’s place.

  The door is locked.

  All the windows dark.

  She’s not here.

  She probably knew this would be the first place I’d go looking for her.

  I get back into my car.

  Dial her number.

  I don’t expect her to answer, but she does.

  My voice lowers. “Where the hell are you, T?”

  “None of your damn business.”

  “I have something I need to say.”

  “Too bad. I have nothing to say to you.”

  I narrow my eyes. “Should I give Kayla a call then? Tell her what I have to say instead?”

  There’s silence.

  “Tierra.”

  She huffs. “Why are you doing this to me?”

  “Directions.”

  She rattles them off.

  I hang up.

  I don’t know what I’ll say when I get there. There’s no grand speech in my head. Damn. I should probably stop off for some flowers or something first, right?

  Sweat turns my fingers slick on the steering wheel.

  My heart pounds like crazy.

  This is it.

  I can’t live without this woman.

  And it’s time I make that very freaking clear.

  Thirty-One

  Tierra

  Brett’s car shrieks to a stop behind me. I clutch my cardigan tighter around my shoulders and face him.

  Moonlight glints over the car’s shiny black top.

  Over the open door.

  Over the long leg that juts out of it.

  Brett climbs out and, immediately, the air shifts from his presence.

  His strong jaw clenches when our eyes connect.

  The wind picks up, reacting to the storm in his silver eyes.

  No way can I survive him.

  No way.

  Brett strides over, each powerful step propelling him in my direction. Like a tree battered by a giant wave, I edge backward. Move in the opposite direction. Scramble for solid ground to stand on as my heart drowns beneath his liquid-fire gaze.

  “You ran from me,” Brett growls.

  “You found me anyway,” I snap, falling on my anger as a shield.

  I can’t be hurt again.

  Not by him.

  Anthony was my boyfriend for a whole year and I gave him my all only for him to spit in my face. But what I felt for Anthony pales in comparison to this.

  It’s like comparing a kitten to a lion.

  One purrs and scratches.

  One roars and kills.

  My heart pants from the floor, gasping for breath. One big bloody mess.

  And that’s all because of Brett.

  I’ve been here before.

  Been at this precipice of pain and mistrust.

  I’ve looked into the abyss that was love and found that it only held monsters and shadows. For me, that’s all my relationships will ever amount to.

  Girls like you don’t get guys like him.

  “Tierra,” Brett says low in his throat.

  It’s the same way he called me in the office. Commanding and yet, almost desperate.

  My heart rises from the ground and beats frantically.

  “What do you want, Brett?” I snap. Try to make my voice as hard and unfeeling as possible.

  I will not be swayed by him.

  By his pretty eyes.

  His fierce scowl.

  His broad shoulders.

  I won’t be hurt again.

  “Make it quick,” I add. “I’m busy.”

  He steps toward me.

  I hold up a hand. “Stay back.”

  He stops. Looks at me.

  My body trembles and I glance away.

  Sure, I hate him.

  But I’m also self-aware enough to understand that if he touches me, it’ll be game over. My body responds to Brett like a massage chair turning on at the flick of a button. One stroke and it’s just vibrations, groans and melting limbs everywhere.

  I can’t think with that side of me.

  Right now, I need common sense to prevail.

  “A long time ago,” Brett stares at me intently, “I saw my mother murder my father.”

  My eyes flick to his. I inhale a shocked little breath.

  Why is he bringing that up now?

  “Every choice I made from that point on was touched by my father’s blood, my mother’s guilt and those five blasted words…”

  I know the words he’s referring to.

  I remember them from that first night in the office.

  ‘Love made me do this’.

  My eyelashes flutter slowly. “Brett…”

  “I took those words as the gospel truth. No matter what, I never let myself be vulnerable with anyone except my sister. I locked my heart up and threw away the key. I didn’t want to ever see my parents in my actions. I didn’t trust myself. And I didn’t trust love.”

  My gaze softens. A breath gets caught in my chest.

  His stare intensifies until the glow from his eyes rivals the moon. He takes another step. “Tierra, the moment I met you, you started bashing on those fears. I didn’t even realize you’d infiltrated my defenses until it was too late. And by then…”

  What is he saying? Is he…?

  I swallow hard.

  Try to keep myself on solid ground when I’m already sliding towards him.

  I’m not that pathetic.

  A few heartfelt words aren’t going to magically erase what he’s done.

  “By then what?” I snap.

  He stops. Looks at me. “I’d fallen in love with you.”

  His words slam into me. Cram straight past my ribs.

  Hits my soul square between the eyes.

  He loves me?

  My breath comes faster. A hand flutters to my chest. “What?”

  “I love everything about you.” He shakes his head. An almost disbelieving laugh slips past his lips. It’s as if he’s coming to this realization in real time and just spouting everything that’s on his mind. “I love your strength, your stubbornness and your kindness. I love that you blast country music at ear-busting levels and that you put a little country twang in your voice even though you’ve n
ever even been to the south.”

  My cheeks heat. “I’ve been there once…”

  He moves even closer to me. “I love that you ran straight to me when you heard about my mother and that you knew exactly what to say to make her passing a little more bearable for both of us.”

  “Brett…”

  “I love you.”

  It’s not a question this time.

  He’s not deliberating anything.

  He’s discovered all the clues and this is his conclusion.

  I love you.

  I’m shaking.

  Devastated.

  But I still resist him. “Am I supposed to just believe you? You could have anybody.”

  Brett shakes his head. “I only want you. It’s only you.”

  “Ms. Switzerland Hot Tub would beg to differ.”

  His lips twitch. “There’s no one else.”

  I scoff. “Right.”

  “That day, I was deleting those messages. All of them.”

  “You think I’m stupid?” I snap.

  “The Make It Marriage buzz had women rising out of the shadows, trying to resurrect something that was already dead. They were reaching out to me. It wasn’t the other way around. I didn't even consider them. Any of them.“

  “I’m sure if they throw themselves at you, it’ll be impossible to resist.”

  “You’re asking if I’ll cheat on you.”

  “Well…”

  His eyes darken. “When I make a commitment to something, I see it all the way through.”

  “But—“

  “I'm not saying I’m perfect, and no one can tell the future, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone else and I don’t think I ever will.”

  “You don’t know that,” I hiss.

  “Do you think I came this far from where I started by messing around and going back on my word? No one would trust a kid from the wrong side of the tracks who didn’t have his crap together.” Brett leans in close. “I choose love. Do you understand? That’s a choice that I made. And I’m a man who weighs everything before he makes a decision.” He’s so near me now that his chest brushes mine. “Because when I make a choice, I stick to it. Even if it drains the last drop of blood out of me. And Tierra…”

  My eyes lift.

  Our gazes connect.

  He stares at me, so tenderly and yet so intently. “I choose you.”

  Inside, I tremble.

  What if he’s telling the truth?

  Yeah, but what if he isn’t?