by Skyler Snow
There was no doubt that he would get very little sleep that night. He still couldn't deny the fact that he wanted Jed. Something deep inside of him wanted Jed to come back, climb into bed, and stay with him all night.
"What the hell am I going to do?" He sniffed as he rubbed his sleeve across his eyes.
Parker hadn't been so stressed in ages.
Chapter 14
Jed
Jed stared at the front door for way too long. Everything in him screamed to go back inside and make Parker see reason, but the look of fear that had been on his face changed his mind. If he pushed things right now, he might make it worse. His wolf hid as the humiliation coursed through both of them.
The look on his face. He was horrified by what I am. That fact tore him up inside. Jed snatched up the rest of his clothes from the porch and tossed them into his car. When he glanced up, he saw Parker's silhouette in the window and the urge to shake some sense into him doubled, but he fought against it.
His car roared to life, and he spared Parker's place one last glance before he pulled out of the driveway. With each mile that distanced them from each other, his heart sank more. What if he never accepts what I am?
Jed had never questioned who he was or been ashamed of it. Being a shifter was something to be proud of. They had been blessed by the Goddess and given gifts. That was what he'd been told since he was a pup, but at that moment he didn't feel like it was a gift. It felt as if the possibility of a real future with a real mate was being ripped away.
Distressed, he knew that he needed his pack. If anyone could help soothe the mess that was his wolf, it was them. He pulled up in the driveway and quickly dressed again before he climbed out of his car. When he opened the door, he could smell dinner cooking and hear laughter from the kitchen. His heart ached. Am I ever going to be able to have this with Parker?
"Jed," Nathan called as he grinned at him, but it quickly fell when he saw his face. "What's wrong now?"
"I'm fine," Jed mumbled as he yanked open the fridge and grabbed a beer. "I'm just going to go upstairs."
"No, you're not," his father grumbled. "You keep coming back in the worst moods, and we can all tell something's going on with you. Spit it out, son," he said as he leaned back in his seat.
Jed knew that if his father was saying it, then he really couldn't get out of it. He sighed and pulled out a chair before he sat at the table. Slowly, he sipped at the ice-cold beer and tried to avoid the truth for as long as possible. I can only hope this doesn't go as badly as my night with Parker.
"I marked someone and made them my mate," Jed spat out, not wanting to dance around the issue anymore.
"You did?" His mother lit up. "See, I told you that you were going to be next! Well, who is he? When do we get to meet him?"
"I don't know," Jed mumbled as he rubbed the back of his neck. "You already know him."
"Who is it?" Declan pressed. "You're taking your sweet time with this."
Jed glanced up at each of them. Every face was expectant, and he knew that it wouldn't last for long. He sighed. "It's Parker."
"Parker?" His mother asked, moments before her eyes widened. "A human? You're kidding! That's not funny Jedidiah James Burns. Who is it really?"
"It's Parker," he said quietly. "I had no idea that he could even be marked. I thought that it would be a simple bite, but that's not the way it happened, and now it's like he's an omega. I didn't mean for any of this to happen, but it's too late for that now. He's my mate."
"Does he even know what that means?" Declan asked as he frowned at Jed. "You're not usually the one to do something so reckless. Have you explained to him what it means?"
Jed shook his head. "I haven't been able to yet. I want to, but there's so much going on, and he needs some time. I wanted to tell him tonight, but things went downhill fast."
"Does he know what we are?" His father asked, his mouth set in a grim line.
Jed couldn't see a reason to lie to them anymore. It happened and there was no taking it back. Slowly, he nodded.
"I showed him tonight."
"Let me guess, he didn't take it well?" His father growled. "Is that why you're back tonight?"
Jed nodded. "I thought he would be able to understand or at least accept me for it. We've known each other since we were kids. He just wanted me to leave." He shook his head. "He was actually scared of me."
"What did you expect?" His father asked.
"Honey, don't be so hard on him," His mother cut in.
"Do you know what happens when you let humans in a pack? They can't handle it. They betray us. The last time a human was allowed in he turned on the pack and they were slaughtered," he said as he slammed his hand against the table. "You're putting yourself, your family, and every other wolf in this community in danger! It's selfish, and it's not going to continue. Parker won't be allowed to stay with you."
"I can't help that he turned out to be fated to me," Jed shot back and narrowed his eyes. "What am I supposed to do now?"
"You're going to stay away from him, and the bond will eventually dissolve," his father said as he stood and leaned toward him. "Do I make myself clear?"
Jed's chair toppled as he shot up. "Do you know what you're asking of me?"
"I know exactly what I'm asking. Humans can't be trusted, and I feel for the pain that you're going to have to go through being away from him, but I'm not going to let you put this pack in danger!"
"And if I leave the pack? If I go out on my own?"
His father narrowed his eyes. "You'd be foolish to even try it, but just in case you think I'll let that happen, know that I won't. I'm the Alpha of this pack, and my decisions will be followed. Now go upstairs."
"I am not a child that you can order around—"
"Go upstairs!" His father growled and the deep, resonating alpha voice was like pressure on his bones.
Jed tried to resist, but his father was older, and even though he hated to admit it, more powerful. He turned and headed for the stairs, feeling even more defeated than he had when he first walked through the door. Why isn't shit going right for me? He was sure they would say the same thing they'd said when his brothers had found out they were fated, even if Parker was a human, but apparently, there would be no excitement for him.
"Did you have to be so harsh?" His mother whispered as he slowly trudged up the stairs.
"We can't risk it. I hate that he's going to have to go through so much, but it has to be a mistake."
"The Goddess doesn't make mistakes," she urged. "Maybe we're wrong about this."
"History is not going to repeat itself with my family. We're done talking about this."
Jed's heart sank. If Parker hadn't been so freaked out, he would have taken him and left to start a pack of his own. Even if it hurt to be away from his family, he couldn't be without him. However, he had no idea if Parker even wanted him anymore.
Maybe it was better to let the bond fade. His wolf howled at the thought, the sound full of agony, and he knew it would be impossible to stay away from him. All he could do was wait and hope that Parker would accept him.
Or it would feel like he was dying.
Chapter 15
Parker
Parker Hale gripped the porcelain as his stomach heaved. What little food he had eaten the night before refused to stay in his stomach. He had tried to soothe the hunger that had snuck up on him in the middle of the night, but now it was backfiring on him.
He stood up on shaky legs and made his way over to the sink. Cool water splashed over his face, and then he quickly brushed his teeth to get the disgusting taste of bile out of his mouth. When he closed the medicine cabinet, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.
It looked as if he had not slept in a month. He hadn't seen Jed for a few days now, and had instead hire someone to take care of the animals because he was too sick to do it. The circles under his eyes looked horrible, and he quickly washed his face again and left the bathroom before he had to stare at
himself any longer.
I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. The longer I stay in bed and feel guilty over Jedidiah, the worse I'm going to get. I just need to buck up and get it together.
Parker forced his legs to work and carry him to his bedroom. Without Jed busting in and demanding he get up and work, it felt empty. His stomach churned again, and he gripped his dresser waiting for the feeling to pass.
"Gotta get dressed," he mumbled to himself as he pushed down the sick feeling and yanked open a drawer. "Then I can get some work done."
At least working would take his mind off things. So far, the worker he'd hired, Alex, was handy and had knowledge about animals. It made it easier that he didn't have to call Jed and ask him for any advice. Not that Jed had reached out to him, but even if it stung, he understood why.
Parker tugged a pair of jeans up and they stopped just above his knees. He frowned and yanked harder until they slipped up his thighs. With a triumphant smile, he wiggled them up a little farther, but then they had another hurdle—his ass. No matter how hard Parker tugged and shimmied and jumped, they refused to go up.
"What the fuck!" He swore as he panted from his workout. "Maybe they shrunk in the dryer."
He pulled out another pair and tried them on, but he was hit by the same result. Over and over, refusing to give up, he tried on each pair until he was left with nothing but pajama pants and sweats. When did I gain weight? I should be losing weight with how sick I'm getting. It doesn't make any sense!
Parker finally gave up and whipped out a pair of sweats before he slammed the drawer shut. He yanked the sweats on and grumbled under his breath about going on a diet. When he turned around, the world twisted and turned, and he just knew he was going to hit the floor.
The wave of dizziness passed, but he knew he wasn't going to be able to work. He dragged himself back to the bed and plopped on it before he crawled underneath his blankets. His first thought was to call his mother, but he remembered the conversation he'd overheard and decided against it.
What if they think I'm screwing up again? They won't believe me if they see me like this. They were the only two that had witnessed him at his worst when he was in the rehab center, and he never wanted them to think badly of him again. As much as they said they didn't feel that way, he knew how much of a disappointment he had been.
He reached over to the nightstand and grabbed his cellphone off the charger. As soon as it lit up, his fingers navigated to Jed's number. It hovered over his name, but he quickly saw the white wolf from the night before. Sharp, long claws and those dagger-like teeth that could tear through anyone or anything at a moment's notice. The eyes that pierced almost right through him. That was who Jed was. He wasn't human. He was... something else.
What was that word he used again? Shifter. That's what it was, something Parker hadn't even thought existed in real life. TV shows, movies, books; they all touted the supernatural as if it was real, but how many people had actually seen what he had a few nights ago?
Parker's stomach squeezed, and he curled up onto himself. He hated to admit it, but he needed Jed. His body was so weak that he couldn't even contemplate moving. A growl echoed from his belly and he glared.
How the hell can I be sick and hungry at the same time? It confounded Parker, and he couldn't figure out how to make himself feel better. Food called to him, but he knew if he stood up, he was going to get dizzy again. It had started to get worse day by day, and he was sick of being so helpless.
Before he could change his mind, Parker quickly texted Jed asking him to come over and letting him know that he was really sick. He didn't know if he would respond, and the minute he sent it, he wished he could take the text back. The phone chirped and he saw Jed's text.
I'll be there in a bit.
A smile touched Parker's face. Jed had been his friend for so long and stood by his side through all of his ups and downs. He knew he shouldn't have doubted him for a second. The coolness of his pillow lulled him to sleep, and some of the sickness subsided. He was going to see Jed again, and that made his heart soar.
"Parker," a voice whispered and drew him out of his dreams. "Wake up."
Slowly, Parker blinked himself awake and saw Jed standing over him. He looked concerned and had a bowl for him as well as a bottle of water. Jed helped him sit up and fixed the pillows behind him while Parker couldn't take his eyes off him.
He was shocked that Jed looked just as restless as him. The same circles that lived underneath his eyes had plagued the redhead as well. As he moved around, there was a pinched look on his face as if he was in pain as well, and Parker wondered if shifters could get sick too.
"You got here fast," Parker mumbled as he yawned and stretched. "Were you at work?"
Jed shook his head. "I haven't been in a few days. I haven't been feeling well," he muttered.
Parker noticed that he wouldn't meet his eyes. The comfort was dulled as the man he loved moved around the room cleaning up discarded clothes and gathering empty dishes. When he was close enough, Parker reached out and touched his arm with a shaky hand.
"Why won't you look at me?" He whispered.
Jed was quiet for so long that Parker started to fidget nervously. I would be upset, too, if the roles were reversed. I pretty much rejected him and then didn't bother to talk to him until I needed something. Parker hadn't confronted his own selfishness in a long time, but he could feel it.
"I didn't mean to react that way when you..." He rubbed his leg with his free hand. "You know, when you changed. I was just scared."
"So what? Are you going to betray me and reveal what I am to the world? Warn everyone else that there are monsters running around," he spat.
Parker blinked. "Why would I ever do anything like that? Jed, please look at me," he demanded until those eyes turned to him and he gripped his arm tighter. "I would never do anything to hurt you or your family. You know that."
"I don't know that when you've been ignoring me and when you look at me like I'm going to harm you. The look on your face when you saw the real me? It was like I was some freak and you wanted nothing to do with me."
He quickly shook his head. "That's not it at all," he stressed as his heart sank into his stomach. "I asked you for some time to think because I wanted to accept you for who you were, but I needed time. You have to understand that what you showed me, it was so new and unbelievable that I was shocked."
"And now?" Jed asked as his eyes bored into Parkers. "What do you think of me now?"
"I'm still getting used to it," he said softly. "To tell the truth, I'm even still a little bit afraid, but I need you. I can't explain it, but when you're not here, it's like I'm imploding on myself. I love you, Jed. I've loved you since we were young and dumb, and it's only grown stronger. I want to understand all of this. Can we talk about everything?" He asked as he pleaded with Jed. "Can you help me understand all of this?"
Jed sighed and he watched the irritation drain out of his body. "You really want to talk about this? It's not just because you need my help?"
"No." Parker shook his head and tugged on his arm. "Sit down and tell me what's going on. I've been thinking about you every day, and I want to accept this. I want to accept all of you because you did the same for me. I love you."
His heart stuck in his throat until Jed moved and sat on his bed. The minute he did, Parker couldn't restrain himself. He threw himself at Jed and wrapped his arms around his waist, burying his face into his lap. Before he could stop himself, his eyes brimmed over and his shoulders shook as the tension and loneliness dissipated.
"I missed you so much," he breathed as Jed ran his fingers through his hair and over his back. "I'm so sorry I reacted that way. I didn't mean to. I was so fucking scared of what I saw, and I treated you like shit and... and..."
"Shhh," Jed breathed, and he felt the kiss that he placed on his head. "As much as it hurt me, and it did hurt me, I know that it's not something that can be digested in one night. Being without you,
it hurts me. We're meant to be together, Parker."
Slowly, Parker sat up and stared at him with watery eyes. "Do you love me?" He whispered.
"More than fucking anything. I wanted to say it the minute you did, but I couldn't do that when I was hiding things from you. I refused to say I love you when I was deceiving you." Jed stroked his chin lovingly. "There's so much more I have to tell you about me, about what I am, about what you are."
"Tell me all of it," Parker begged, but pressed a finger to Jed's lips as he opened his mouth. "After you kiss me. I missed you so much it aches."
Jed didn't hesitate. His lips crashed against Parker's, and a moan echoed from both of their throats. Parker melted against him, every ache disappearing as Jed gripped him in his arms and held him close. The chill he'd felt since Jed had left him was whisked away, too, and replaced with heat. He was pretty sure he'd been a zombie the whole time he was gone, and suddenly, he was alive again.
"Even if I tell you to leave, don't do it again," Parker whispered as their foreheads were pressed together, their lips seconds away from touching. "I must have been crazy to ever ask you to go. I love you so much."
"I love you too," Jed breathed. "I won't leave you ever again. You never have to worry about me abandoning you. You're mine. Do you hear me?"
Parker nodded hard. "I want to be yours and no one else's. I trust you, Jed. Whatever you decide is best for us, I'll go along with it because you've never steered me wrong. I'll admit I don't always make the best decisions, and I don't mind your guidance." He glanced up at him. "Does that make me weak?"
"Weak?" Jed growled. "The fact that you can ask me for help means you're stronger than most people could ever hope to be. You beat an addiction on your own. You've put up with more bullshit than you ever should have, and you're still here." Jed kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his lips ."And now you're asking me to take care of things for you and help you? You're letting me be the fucking alpha I am, and that just makes me love you even more."
