Giving Up the Fight - Faith Ryan

by Rock Hard Gym

  He doesn’t have to say which night, I know because it won’t leave my thoughts either.

  “So, no, I’m not drunk and I’m not gay, I’m sober and fucking confused as hell. And you being this close to me is only confusing me more.”

  That last bit of his confession spurs me into action. I close the small distance between our mouths and claim his lips in a kiss. Light and questing at first, waiting for his acquiescence. When he doesn’t back away, I take it as an invitation and swipe my tongue across his lips begging for entrance.

  This is going to end badly, I can see the train wreck from a mile away, but I can’t seem to hit the brakes. Pulling back from the kiss, I take in the flush of his cheeks and the way he licks his bottom lip as if savoring my taste.

  Reaching behind him, I open the car door and gesture him inside before rounding the vehicle and climbing behind the wheel.

  Looking over at him, I grip the steering wheel and ask, “Do you want to go back to Mountain View and explore this curiosity?”

  He shakes his head no and my hopes deflate.

  “I’d much rather discover you in private.” He smiles at me and my hopes take off again, soaring well past my reach. I couldn’t bring them back now if I wanted.

  “I know just the place.” I tell him speeding away from the club.

  Chapter 11

  Lennox

  I’ve lost my mind. It’s the only thing I can think to make sense of why I told Tanner I wanted to discover him in private. Being sober is fucking with my head, making me want things I would never have thought of before rehab. Before Tanner. Before that night.

  I expect Tanner to pull up to a cheap motel, maybe even some place that charges by the hour, but of course he doesn’t. Instead we drive into a suburban neighborhood, taking lefts and rights that take us deeper into the scene of domestic bliss. SUVs, white picket fences, even little dogs yapping away in overly green yards, the sight has me rethinking this stupid idea. I’m not gay anyway. Am I?

  God, my mind is a jumbled mess when it comes to Tanner. He makes my cock harder than any woman I’ve ever been with. That could be a result of sobriety—no more whiskey dick, yay! —but somehow, I think it’s all Tanner. His dimpled smile, vibrant tats, and tempting piercings draw me in, but his caring heart and empathic soul hold me in awe. The man is everything I’ve ever dreamed of with one exception, the anatomy between his legs.

  We pull into a driveway at the end of a cul-de-sac, next to a smaller version of the cookie cutter houses we passed on the way.

  “Where are we?” I eye the house, trying to figure out who lives there. I have a sickening thought this might be his mother’s house and send a quick prayer to anyone listening he doesn’t live in his momma’s basement.

  “My place. I don’t normally stay at the center unless the case requires it.”

  “And my case required it?”

  “Yep. Court ordered constant supervision.”

  I can’t take it anymore and I blurt out, “Tell me you don’t live in your momma’s basement.”

  His laughter bursts out of him. It’s one of those laughs that keeps going even when you try to stop it. His face is flushed, and tears leak from his eyes, while his arm curls around his stomach as if it can hold in another fit of hysteria.

  “Care to tell me what’s so funny?”

  Wiping his eyes, he tells me, “You thought I brought you to my mother’s place.”

  Embarrassed, I look out the window and clench my jaw. My hands fist on my thighs, the tension building in my body. The same tension that sent me out night after night to drown my feelings in a longneck and a willing woman when I couldn’t let it out in the ring. There’s no alcohol or willing female in sight, which means I need to stay in control before I do something I’ll regret. Like knock Tanner the fuck out.

  His hand lands on my fist bringing my attention back to him. Our eyes lock and as if he can sense I’m about to fall off the edge of rational thought, he jerks me to him. His lips devour mine in a demanding kiss, it’s not hesitant and learning like it was in the bar parking lot. This is the kiss of a man that knows what he wants and is prepared to get it any way he can.

  I freefall over the edge of rationality, but my anger has morphed into something primal. I’m reduced to base instincts, my inner caveman taking over and demanding I take control. But for the first time, I don’t want control. I want to submit to someone else, let them decide what happens and just feel. I just want to fucking feel for once.

  Without the buzz of alcohol to numb me, every touch of his lips on mine, every brush of his stubble across my cheek, sends tingles through me. It’s as if my body has been asleep and is now waking up, my veins rushing blood to parts long thought to be numb and dead. The tingling is painful, but the promise of pleasure makes it tolerable.

  “Let’s go inside.” Tanner pulls away before I’m ready and I hurry to follow him inside so I can get back to discovering him.

  Tanner doesn’t waste any time when we get inside, pushing me up against the door as soon as it closes and grinding his erection along mine through our jeans. His lips find my neck and I automatically tilt my head giving him greater access. He bites at my pulse, licking up to my earlobe and taking it into his mouth. He sucks lightly and my dick feels it as a phantom blow job. Is that a thing?

  “Clothes off.” I tug on his shirt to emphasize the words and he takes the hint backing away just enough to pull the fabric over his head while I do the same with mine.

  We come back together in a frenzy of kisses and touches, the barbells in my nipples clinking with his. My fingers find his hips just above the waistband of his jeans and dig in, forcing his body tighter against my own.

  His fingers tease at my nipples before moving down my chest and fumbling open my pants. Gripping both my jeans and my boxers, he pushes them down my thighs, falling to his knees in the process. Once he has me completely naked, he looks up at me from his position at my feet. A feeling resembling déjà vu, but not quite, hums at the back of mind, quickly forgotten when his tongue snakes out and laps up a bead of pre-cum from my tip.

  “Mmm, I knew you’d taste good. You don’t know how bad I wanted it to be me on my knees for you.”

  His words seem to mean more than what he’s saying, they tug at a memory beyond just that one night at the bar with Kyle. Again, the thought vanishes, my senses overtaken with lust when he swallows me down his throat until his nose meets the coarse hairs of my groin.

  My head falls back, banging against the wall in a rhythm matching the bobbing of his head. It’s better than I imagined, the feel of his mouth, it’s heaven. Warm. Wet. Tight. And when he takes me deep and swallows around the bulbous tip, I almost lose it.

  “Fuck. Tanner, I’m close. Don’t wanna—I want—bed now. Please.”

  Letting my cock fall from his mouth with a wet sounding plop, he jumps to his feet, grabs my hand and drags me down the hall and into a bedroom. He pushes me onto the bed, quickly discarding the rest of his clothing until he’s as naked as I am.

  I take in his body, the utter perfection of him. I watch him grip his dick and stroke slowly, teasing me. He twists his fist around the head and tugs at the piercing there, and I lick my lips imagining what he will feel like when he fills me.

  I meet his eyes and swallow down my apprehension. “Fuck me, Tanner. Please. I need—I need you to fill me.”

  His ice blue eyes collide with mine, and they’re filled with desire. He takes a step toward the bed but stops before he’s close enough to touch.

  “Are you sure, Lennox?”

  I nod. “I’ve never been surer of anything in my life. Maybe it’s my mind fucking with me for not numbing my feelings anymore, but all I want right now is you to fuck me, to fill me and make me feel anything but numb.”

  Chapter 12

  Tanner

  This is really fucking happening. Lennox is in my bed naked, begging me to fuck him. I should probably ask him again to be sure, but I don’t want to lo
se this chance. I’ve wanted him since the first moment we locked eyes in the Drunken Cat’s bathroom.

  He moves his body closer to the headboard as I crawl onto the bed and make my way up his body. I place kisses along his inner thighs, gripping the back of his legs and pushing until his hole is exposed.

  “Hold yourself open for me.”

  My voice is raw, lust giving it a scratchy quality that appears to do something for Lennox as his dick jumps and his hole flutters at my words.

  Wrapping his arms under his knees, he pulls his legs tight to his chest, lifting his ass higher. I lean forward and begin kissing the backs of his thighs, slowly making my way toward my goal. The first swipe of my tongue on his puckered flesh drawls a low moan from him, so I do it again. I lap all around the sensitive skin until he’s nothing but a sobbing, begging mess and then I pull away, sitting back on my heels.

  “What are you doing? Don’t stop.” His eyes are wild with pleasure and need.

  “Oh, I’m not stopping. I’m just moving on to something even better.”

  I reach across his body and yank open the top drawer of my nightstand and pull out lube and condoms. I toss the latter on the bed and flip the cap on the lube, liberally coating my fingers before snapping the bottle closed and letting it fall to the bed as well.

  Lennox watches me, his breathing ragged, his chest rising faster in anticipation. When I touch the tip of my index finger to his entrance, he jerks from the feel of the cool liquid. He slowly relaxes as I rub circles around this untouched part of him, warming the slick liquid. I let my finger slip inside just enough for him to feel, then I’m pulling out and pushing back in again, going deeper with each thrust. His body tries to keep me out and I coax him into relaxing his muscles with gentle strokes and soft touches.

  It doesn’t take long until he’s pushing back against me and I take that as a sign to add a second finger. I go slow, just the tip at first and then deeper and deeper like I did with the other. Once I have both fingers fully inside him, I scissor them, stretching him, preparing him for my cock.

  Eventually I have three fingers working him and his moans have turned to pleas to fuck him. I thrust in deep and then crook my fingers, searching for that spot. He jack-knifes off the bed when I find it, curses falling from his lips.

  Leaning forward to steal a kiss, I pull my fingers free. His groan at the loss makes my dick throb, anxious to be inside him.

  “You ready?” I ask, I don’t want to stop, but I give him one last chance to say no, to call it off and walk away.

  “Just do it. Quit fucking playing with me and fuck me.”

  I chuckle and grab a condom, tearing open the foil wrapper, rolling the rubber down my length, and coating myself in lube. I press my tip against him, my piercing dragging along nerve endings as I slowly push inside until it rests right at his prostate.

  It takes everything I have to stay still and let him adjust to the size and feel of a cock in his hole. I can tell when the tightness and bite of pain recedes. Lennox starts wiggling on my dick, my piercing knocking against that pleasure spot deep inside his body.

  I can’t take it anymore and I pull out until my head is barely inside, then push back in. Lennox moans and takes his own cock in hand, stroking himself to the rhythm of my thrusts. I think to myself I should knock his hand away because I want to be the one to bring him to release, but I’m too on edge, his body too tight, I know I won’t last more than a few more strokes.

  When his orgasm washes over him, his back arches and his hole clenches and releases around me. The sight and feel tips me over the edge and I grunt out my own release, continuing to pump in and out until we are both drained of every last drop, before collapsing on top of him.

  When I wake a few hours later, we’ve switched positions and Lennox is cuddled against me, his head on my chest and one of his legs across mine. The dried cum between us is stiff and starting to itch so I gently shake him awake.

  He yawns as he lifts his head, his face contorting into a grimace as the evidence of his orgasm pulls at his skin. “That’s gross.”

  I laugh at his simple observation and nudge him to sit up. I climb out of the bed and hold a hand out, grateful when he doesn’t hesitate to take it.

  “Come on, let’s get cleaned up and back to Mountain View.”

  The apprehension at my words pours off him in waves, and I think over what I said, trying to figure out what caused such a reaction. When it hits me, I feel like an insensitive jerk.

  “I didn’t mean it like that. This isn’t a one-off for me. We can see where this goes when we get back to the center, that is if you want.”

  He studies me, trying to gauge my sincerity and gives me a nod of acknowledgement.

  “Yeah, I think I want to see where this goes. I’ve never been attracted to guys until you, or I never allowed myself to be attracted is more accurate, but since coming to rehab and being forced into sobriety, I’ve been thinking maybe this is who I am. Maybe I’ve always been a guy that finds other guys attractive, or maybe being sober has changed me and now I just see the beauty in more than the female body. Who the fuck knows! I sure the fuck don’t. But I do know I want to see where this can lead, I want to stop fighting this pull toward you and just give in to the feelings you wrench from me.”

  I hear the pleading in his words. He’s asking me to help him accept he’s not who he thought he was, to give him a chance and the time to figure out what this is. What it could be if given a chance.

  “Okay.” I swallow my emotions down and clear my throat. “Now that we’re on the same page, how about that shower.”

  I want to say more. I want to reassure him everything will be fine, but the truth is sometimes it’s not fine. I don’t want to get his hopes up this new part of him won’t cause issues, that we’ll just fall in together and live happily ever after. Shit don’t work like that.

  So I don’t tell him any of the bullshit others will probably toss his way when they hear he suddenly likes a cock up his ass, instead I heat the shower until steam fills the room then guide him beneath the spray, cleansing and worshipping his body, keeping us in this cocoon of ignorant bliss for a little while longer.

  Chapter 13

  Lennox

  I swallow Tanner down, his piercing hitting the back of my throat and ramping up the pleasure of the act. Who knew I would love sucking cock? Yeah, me neither.

  Tanner and I have made a go of it for the past four months, and except for Christian’s pesky comments and irritating actions, everything is great. Better than great. I have thirty more days here at Mountain View and I can’t wait to take Tanner home to meet the guys at the gym.

  “Fuck, Lennox. Your mouth is the sweetest fucking torture. I can never last long with your lips around me.”

  Tanner’s words give me cause to double down my efforts and I suck harder and stroke faster. Just a few more pulls and he’s coming down my throat.

  I sit back on my heels and just admire his body spread out on the bed before me. Licking my lips, I stroke my hands up his thighs and across his abs as I lean in and take his lips in a fierce kiss.

  Tanner’s hand grips my dick and I grunt into his mouth. My hips move with every slow slide down my length, seeking a faster, harder movement.

  Bang! Bang! Bang!

  Someone pounds at the door to our room and I release Tanner from my kiss, lean my forehead against his, and continue to fuck his fist, ignoring whoever wants our attention.

  Bang! Bang! Bang!

  “Fuck!” I yank myself away from Tanner and storm to the door, jerking it opening, not giving a flying fuck that I’m naked and my dick is still unbelievably hard.

  “What do you want, Christian?”

  His gaze takes in my nudity, before drifting to the bed behind me. I turn my head and follow where his stare lands on Tanner. Thank fuck he pulled a sheet over his body, otherwise I would have to knock Christian out.

  “Umm, you have a phone call. Max. Pete said you can take it
in his office.”

  “Okay, thanks. You can go now; your message has been delivered.”

  Not bothering to wait to see if he leaves, I slam the door in his face and make my way back to the bed. I wish that asshole would’ve left when his ninety days were up, but apparently, he’s some rich prick who always gets what he wants, which at the moment is a secure place at Mountain View so he can bother my man. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I reach a hand out to stroke my fingers over the stubble on Tanner’s jaw and cheek. Yep, my man, and as annoying as Christian can be with his innuendos and reminders of how he and Tanner were together, I know Tanner would never take him back. The man doesn’t have a chance with my lover, we both know it and that’s why we put up with his shit. He’s like an annoying gnat, flying around and irritating the hell out of you, but no real threat.

  “I need to go see what Max wants. He only calls for progress check-ins, but he just called last week so this has to be important. I’ll be quick, don’t fucking move.”

  A quick kiss and I head to Pastor Pete’s office. Picking up the receiver, I grunt out a hello. “This better be good.”

  “I’m sorry did I interrupt something?” Max asks, fake sincerity tinging his voice. “You’ll get over it.”

  I grit my teeth and blow out a breath. Max doesn’t know I’m seeing Tanner, hell he doesn’t know I’m seeing anyone period. So, I can’t really blame him for taking my words in stride.

  “Just spit it out already.”

  “Fine. You’re being sprung early.”

  “What?” I hold the phone away from my ear and stare at it as if that will bring any sense to what Max just said.

  “You’ve more than proved yourself Lennox. We want you back at the gym, I want you back. And I have a fight lined up for you. Mystery fighter. For now anyway. Won’t give me a name yet, but he asked to fight you specifically.”