Irons and Works: The Complete Series

by E M Lindsey

  Rowan was already ahead. He’d had the agency backing off the week before this mediation, but he couldn’t lose his focus now, even if his personal life had just careened into territory he wasn’t expecting. Maybe it was the fact that he never answered James that was getting to him, but he had to resolve it.

  Of course, he had to end this first. “My clients are prepared to file a suit against both the hospital and the agency,” Rowan said, folding his hands on the table. “Their child was wrongfully removed from the home, and when the nurse in question first placed the call, the child was removed from custody before a formal investigation was conducted. My advice is to return the child, close the case, and withdraw your petition for termination of parental rights.”

  The lawyer looked at him, her eyes both tired and defeated. “We’ll be in touch after I confer with my clients.”

  He saw Mr. and Mrs. Rosen sag in their chairs, their faces drawn and disappointed, and he longed to comfort them and tell them both that this was a good thing. “May we have the room?” he asked the mediator.

  The man looked up from his phone, then nodded. “Of course. It auto-locks so make sure you grab everything you need before you head out.”

  “Thank you,” Rowan said. He briefly checked his phone while he waited to be left alone, and when the door closed, he turned to his clients. “We need to consider this a success.”

  Adele sniffed. “I just...it’s been six weeks. They’ve had her for six weeks. Is this it? Is this going to happen every time we have a child?” She leaned into her husband and he kissed her temple as Rowan took a breath.

  His entire career was spent waiting—waiting on petitions, on judge responses, on papers to be filed, on agencies dragging their feet to minimize the damage of public perception. It wasn’t going to look good once his clients were allowed to publicly speak about their ordeal, and he knew CPS would do their best to get a gag-order issued. They wouldn’t be successful in the end, and Rowan would do his best to keep his clients from being intimidated into one.

  “I can’t guarantee that some ill-informed hospital worker won’t try something like this again,” he told her truthfully. “But you have this case on your side. We’re winning.”

  Nick snorted. “It doesn’t feel like it.”

  “I know,” Rowan told him. “But if I’m right—and I usually am with these things—you’ll be getting a call by the end of the week. I’d go home and prepare to bring your daughter back with you by this weekend.”

  He watched as Adele’s eyes went wide, and she reached for her husband. “I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

  “I wouldn’t suggest it if I wasn’t ninety-six percent sure,” Rowan told her. “They don’t have a case here, and they know it. They’re backed into a corner, so they’ll drag their feet as long as they can, but if this goes before a judge, it won’t end in their favor and they want to avoid that on the record.” He grabbed the rest of the papers, tapping the on the desk before shoving them into his case. He was itching to get out, to consider what the hell he was going to say to James, and he had a meeting with Sam the next morning for their hearing with Maisy two days from then.

  “Will you be there if they give her back?” Adele asked.

  Rowan pushed to his feet, and the two followed, Nick grabbing his dog’s harness and then taking his wife’s hand. He led the way to the door and took the handle, but hesitated before opening it. “I’ll do my absolute best. I have a hearing this Thursday, and a meeting with a client tomorrow, but if I can be there, I will. If not, I can send Jeremy from my office to ensure it all goes off without a hitch. All I ask is that you refuse to sign anything they give you without me present. They can’t deny you custody of your daughter if you refuse to sign, okay?”

  They both looked dubious, but agreed to the terms, and Rowan led them to the lobby where Nick’s mother was waiting to drive them home. He assured them all a last time that it was fine, and then he went straight to the little coffee cart for a quick latte to get him through.

  When he got into the office, Jeremy was waiting for him with his messages. “Your mom called,” he said, not unusual since it was a Tuesday. “Mr. Braga left a message about your meeting tomorrow,” Jeremy went on, making Rowan wince a little because they hadn’t talked since the awkward scene with Niko outside of the bar.

  “Is he rescheduling?” Rowan asked as he checked over a couple of the files on Jeremy’s desk.

  His assistant shook his head. “No, he just wanted to verify the time and make sure you weren’t needing to cancel.”

  Rowan suppressed a sigh. “Okay.”

  “I told him you were in mediation most of the afternoon, and if anything changed, one of us would call.” Jeremy leaned back in his chair, opening up his laptop. “You have a four o’clock consult, and then nothing in office until tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Thanks,” Rowan told him. “The mediation went well today. I’m expecting the Rosens to get a call from their case worker by tomorrow afternoon. I’ve told them not to sign anything without one of us present. I don’t want them threatened into signing a confidentiality agreement, especially if they don’t have someone there who can read it over for them. If it happens while I’m at the hearing with Braga, I’ll need you to handle it.”

  “You know I’ve got it,” Jeremy said, his attention back on his computer.

  Rowan reached into his pocket, clutching his phone. “Is it,” he started, then stopped. It was so unprofessional to bring this up, even if he had known Jeremy just shy of forever.

  At that, Jeremy looked up at him, eyes narrowed. “Is it what?”

  Rowan dragged a hand down his face. “Is it weird that I never date?”

  Jeremy looked only slightly startled, then he laughed. “Are you serious?” At Rowan’s pinched expression, Jeremy shrugged and leaned his elbow on his desk. “I don’t know. You don’t really bring it up.”

  “Right. I know,” Rowan said. “It’s just…I think I met someone. But it’s complicated.”

  Jeremy lifted a brow. “Is it a client?”

  “Jesus, no,” Rowan breathed out. He didn’t bother to mention that he’d met the guy through one, though. “I met him at a bar,” not technically a lie. “He was having a bad night, and we ended up spending some time together. He got a little cagey when we exchanged numbers, and after I left he told me it was because of something personal. Like, really personal. I don’t think I’m in a great place to date him, but he seemed open to the idea of hooking up.”

  “So… do that?” Jeremy offered like it was the easiest thing in the world.

  If only Rowan could tell him what it was James had trusted him with. “I’m worried it’ll fuck him up. I don’t know that, with everything he’s got going on, hooking up won’t just make his life even worse.”

  “I think you’re good at reading situations and people,” Jeremy said. “You basically do that for a living. And I’m assuming he’s a grown-ass man capable of telling you what he wants and what he doesn’t?”

  Rowan nodded, and it was true. “Virgin” could mean so many things, and even if James hadn’t ever fucked before, there was every chance he’d at least gotten close. And the guy wasn’t naïve or sheltered, either. He knew what he wanted.

  He needed to trust that James would be honest.

  “I’ll be in my office if you need me,” he finally said. He was aware of Jeremy watching him as he walked down the small hallway and into his cozy office, and he only relaxed when the door shut and he was in his chair.

  His phone sat on his desk like a ticking time-bomb, the minutes dragging by taking him further and further out of James’ orbit. There was every chance that Rowan had ruined the little rapport they’d built with his total silence, even if he did try to reach out now. He thumbed the message open, stared at it, then turned the screen off and reached for his desk phone.

  The numbers came automatic under his fingers, the soft press of ten keys, and then exactly three rings before his mom’s
voice sounded on the other line. “Hey, kiddo. I was hoping you’d get back to me.”

  Rowan smiled in spite of himself, in spite of his day, something only his mother could do. He flashed back, only for a second, to that moment just after his eighteenth birthday when he showed back up on her doorstep and fell into her arms. His knees hit the ground, as he went to her chair-level, and he let her hold him against her like if she let go, someone would rip him away again.

  Those six years apart created a rift he could never repair, but he loved her. She had single-handedly rescued him from a birth mother who didn’t care if he lived or died, from a birth father who hadn’t ever bothered to set eyes on him. She had raised him, protected him, and the moment the CPS agent ripped him from her care simply because an illness had taken control of her body, he promised the universe he’d do everything in his power to make sure that never happened again to anyone.

  He wasn’t always successful, but he was trying. “Hi, Mom. How are you? Sorry I missed your call.”

  “That sweet boy told me you were in mediation,” she said. Her voice was sounding strong that day, the tremors only a faint wobble in her breath, which was sounding a little wheezy right then. Her MS had gripped her by the throat for so damn long now, but it had plateaued over the last few years, which had given them both some relief. “You didn’t have to call me back if you’re busy.”

  “Never too busy to at least say hi. It’s Tuesday,” he told her.

  She laughed softly. “Sure, sure. So how are your cases?”

  “Same shit, different day,” he muttered, and ignored her tutting at his foul language. “I think I won in mediation today, so I’m calling it a win.”

  “Proud of you, Sunshine.”

  He grinned, but his smile faltered a little when his gaze caught his phone again. “I met someone the other night,” he confessed. “It was a weird situation. He was drunk and this asshole was harassing him outside of the bar. I gave him a ride home and there was…something there. Something I don’t think I’ve ever felt before.”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sound like that about anyone,” she told him.

  “I know,” he replied from behind a sigh. “It feels new. And maybe a little important, but I don’t know if I could ever be any good for him. I’m busy all the damn time, and it’s just…it isn’t right, asking someone to take second place to my job.”

  “You know it doesn’t have to be that way, right? You’ve been working so hard for so long. You’re allowed to take a step back for you,” she reminded him, and it wasn’t the first time she’d said it.

  Rowan dragged a hand down his face, then pinched the bridge of his nose as he squeezed his eyes shut. “I know.” And he did, but his conscience wouldn’t allow him to back down when so many people needed him. Laws were changing, but not fast enough.

  “I heard about the legislation they’re trying to pass there,” she told him. “That’ll be good for you, right?”

  He almost laughed. “I guess it will, yeah.”

  “So maybe don’t give up before you can get started. If he’s a good man, he’ll understand what you do.”

  “I hate when you’re reasonable,” Rowan grumbled. And she was always reasonable, but that didn’t always work for him, either. Yes, the legislation would change, but it wouldn’t stop over-night. And it wouldn’t stop agencies from acting unfairly. It would just make the rulings quicker. He could offer James sex—if that’s what he wanted. James had subtly implied he’d be interested in hooking up when Rowan had explained himself. But he wasn’t sure he was capable of giving James everything he deserved.

  And he wasn’t sure how much the virgin thing mattered.

  “Tell me you’re going to call this boy,” his mom chastised.

  Rowan dropped his forehead to the desk and groaned. “You know it’s probably a terrible idea, right?”

  “You wouldn’t be this torn up if it was,” she told him. “You’re only trying to find a way to talk yourself out of it, and that’s the last thing you need. Do a little something for you, Sunshine. Please. For me.”

  “Dirty pool, Mom,” he told her, but he was smiling again. “I have to go. I have a meeting soon, and court the day after tomorrow which means all the paperwork.”

  “Okay. It was good to hear your voice,” she said. She trailed off with a cough, but it ended soon enough that he decided not to worry.

  He felt his chest clench with some guilt at how long it had been since he’d seen her, at how many excuses he had as to why he couldn’t make the trip back. In truth, his bitterness still choked him. Being back in the house which had once been his sanctuary, now held the nightmare memories of being pulled away, sobbing, begging, terrified, and alone. When he saw her blue front door, he didn’t see all the afternoons he skipped inside with friends, or homecomings after long weeks at school, or summer vacations. Instead he saw a tall, imposing man pulling him away, and the soft cries of his mother promising she’d get him back.

  And then failing.

  It hadn’t been her fault. Her existence alone was enough for the court to rule against her. For them to condemn Rowan to the system and to people who saw him as a meal ticket instead of a child. But the small boy still inside wondered why she never did come back for him, why her promise was so easy to break.

  It wasn’t fair to her. It was the irrational grief of someone too young to understand what was happening, and the bit of him that never totally got over it.

  “I love you,” he said. “I’ll call soon.” It was the most he could offer, and it was enough for her. She hung up and he sat back in his chair, staring at his phone again and hearing his mother telling him he did deserve something in his life that was just for him.

  Blowing out a soft puff of air, he reached for it and made the decision.

  Chapter Four

  James was so lost in his pencil dragging across the page, he wasn’t aware of anything else until a warm hand touched his elbow. James startled out of his art-induced trance and glanced up to see Derek’s boyfriend, Basil, looking at him.

  ‘Phone,’ Basil signed, then pointed to the desk. ‘Text.’

  James was taking ASL at night—something he was doing without the others, and not because he was embarrassed, but because he was petrified of being so awful at it, he’d be forced to add it to yet another one of his failures. So far, though, it had been going well. His teacher was Deaf, which meant he was learning from the source, and her unfailing patience with how slow he was to pick things up gave him the confidence to keep trying.

  He touched the screen and his heart began to thud in his chest when he saw there were four messages waiting for him from Rowan. He swallowed thickly and was sitting up in his chair, his hands on his wheels before he realized he was doing it. ‘Thanks,’ he signed. He quickly pushed past Basil, through the swinging door and into the breakroom, which was blessedly empty. He went to their little freezer to dig out his ice packs, then shifted to the sofa to ice his knees as he tried to find the courage to open the messages.

  He’d thrown himself out there like he never had before, and he’d gotten nothing but silence. He told himself that Rowan was probably just tired. Hell, maybe the guy had passed out in his uber and woke up in a tub of ice with his kidneys missing and couldn’t text back. Or maybe—more likely—James had scared the shit out of him with the whole virgin thing because who wouldn’t want to run in the opposite direction from that?

  He hadn’t expected to hear from him again. He figured there would be awkward glances and avoiding eye-contact when they were in forced proximity for Sam’s shit, but he definitely hadn’t thought the guy would reach out.

  Licking his lips, he desperately wished he had a small buzz going now, if only to take the edge off his inhibitions— all of which were telling him to smash his phone and run.

  Rowan: I’m really sorry for not replying to you last night. To be honest, you took me by surprise and I wasn’t sure what to say.

  * * *r />
  Rowan: Virginity is complicated, and I’m not even sure what you mean by you saying you’re a virgin. I also don’t know how to take that when you give me that in response to my telling you that I’m only really capable of doing something like a hook-up.

  * * *

  Rowan: But if that’s something you’re interested in, we could talk. But ONLY if you want.

  James’ fingers shook as he tapped on the reply bar and the keyboard popped up. Was he interested? It would mean confessing to Rowan that his virginity was more than just not having let someone shove a dick in his ass. He’d literally never come with anyone else’s body but his own, and even that had been a struggle. His issues ran deep, and he was trying to finally push past that last, destructive barrier his dad had helped him carefully construct that prevented him from ever being able to truly enjoy himself as a single, attractive, gay man.

  Being disabled was hard enough. The stigma, the questions, the fascination, the fetishes. Throwing in the fact that he was a virgin left him on the precipice of a terrifying, unknown abyss. He wasn’t sure why Rowan felt safe to him, but he couldn’t deny it any longer.

  James: We should definitely talk. But not over text. This shit seems way too heavy for that. Will you be back in town soon?

  * * *

  Rowan: I have a meeting with Sam on Wednesday, and court with him Thursday. I’ll be around both days.

  * * *

  James: Tomorrow night, then? If you can spare some time?

  * * *

  Rowan: When and where. I’ll make time.

  * * *

  James: My place, whenever you’re done. I have the day shift at the shop, so I’ll be free after two.