Irons and Works: The Complete Series

by E M Lindsey

  “Oh fuck, darlin’,” James gasped. He should have expected it, but the rush of pleasure made his head spin and he buried his hands in Rowan’s hair. “Fuck. Fuck.”

  Rowan grinned around him, then got to work, sinking all the way down until his nose brushed through James’ coarse curls before slowly drawing back up. He swirled his tongue around the head, dipping into the slit to taste him, and James was so close to losing his mind he let out a raw, needy sound when Rowan pulled away completely.

  “I want you inside me,” Rowan said, and those five words almost made James lose it right there.

  He had just enough willpower to watch Rowan stand up and peel out of his suit. Every layer gone was a gift, and he wanted to pay worship to every vision of bared, tan skin. He couldn’t get enough, and he wondered if it would be like this forever.

  He never wanted to cool, never wanted to settle, never wanted to look at Rowan and wonder what else might be out there.

  He had waited his entire life for this man, had given him every piece of himself that he’d held back from other people. And he didn’t think he was capable of regret. Not where Rowan was concerned. His eyes closed, and he listened to Rowan cross the room, listened to the zipper of their suitcase, to the tearing of plastic because James had stopped at the store for supplies on the drive over.

  His body hummed with anticipation, because he knew what was coming, and he wasn’t disappointed when two powerful thighs straddled his own.

  “Look at me.” The quiet demand was just short of begging, and James couldn’t deny this man anything.

  He pushed up on his elbows, then opened his eyes and met Rowan’s dark gaze as his hand crept between them and he circled his fingers around Rowan’s cock. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  Rowan let out a short breath as James began to stroke him, and his eyes fluttered shut for a long moment. “Me too. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

  “It’s fine. Mat kept me runnin’ so long this would’a been our first moment together anyway.” James swallowed thickly as he watched pleasure in the form of a deep flush spread over Rowan’s cheeks. His hand sped up, just a little, just enough to get him near the edge. “Wanna see you come for me, darlin’. With my cock all the way inside you.”

  “Yes,” Rowan said. He reached behind him, and James sucked in air through his teeth when Rowan’s wet hand closed around his dick and began to spread the lube from root to tip. He didn’t linger, which James was grateful for, because he was too needy, too close. And Rowan liked to stretch himself out on James’ cock rather than fingers most nights they did this, so James could only pray that he had the ability to last.

  “Come on,” James urged, and Rowan shifted forward, pressing his hands to either side of the pillow as James dropped backward. Their lips met in a messy, uncoordinated kiss, and James’ chest arched upward when the tip of his dick caught on Rowan’s hole. It slipped for a second, but Rowan’s hand was there again, guiding him in.

  He could feel the tremble in Rowan’s thighs as he pressed down, the tight ring of muscle pulling at the head of his cock. James felt complete, he felt like the only place in the world, the only moment in time that mattered, was this. His hands drifted up, framing Rowan’s face. It was in moments like this he noticed the stark differences between them. His mechanic rough fingers with permanent stains, his ink, his callouses. They were in such contrast to Rowan’s softer beauty. And yet, they fit.

  He didn’t let himself think back on when it was just physical—when he thought there would be nothing more than short moments of pleasure before Rowan was gone from his life for good. He’d let it come too close, and there were still occasional nights he woke up from dreams where he was reaching for Rowan, but could never close the distance between them.

  “I’ve got you,” Rowan said. Not for the first time, James wondered if Rowan could read his mind. He seemed to know—always, instinctively—when James was drifting too far. And he seemed to know—always, instinctively—how to bring him back. “I’ve got you, baby.”

  James closed his eyes as Rowan bottomed out, circling his hips. James’ thighs began to twitch, his hips aching from holding so still for so long, but he didn’t dare move. He had a feeling Rowan needed this—to take control.

  “Go on, make yourself come,” James murmured. It had been a long while since he’d felt like a virgin, but he still struggled from time to time with showing how much he wanted it. The power of desire terrified him, but it was no less than the power Rowan’s love had over him.

  And seeing the way Rowan flushed at his words, feeling the way he lifted his hips and slammed down over and over, crying out when he found the perfect angle—that was enough to erase any lingering feelings of hesitation. He pressed one hand to the top of Rowan’s thigh, and curled the other one around his rock-hard, leaking dick.

  James was close. He could feel the orgasm building, the white-hot fire in his belly ready to explode through him. He picked up a furious rhythm, matching Rowan as he bounced hard on James’ dick, and saw the flush rising from his chest to his neck.

  “Come on, darlin’,” he murmured. Swallowing thickly, he tried to fight his climax, but Rowan reached behind him and curled one hand around the bottom of his stump.

  And he was done.

  He couldn’t stop it. His own hips began to buck upward with the pulsing of his cock, spilling deep inside Rowan. He didn’t think he had the strength to keep stroking, but Rowan’s other hand closed around his and urged James once, twice.

  A third time, and come splattered across his chest.

  James was only half aware of Rowan dropping to his side, and he winced at the cool air from the AC as it blew across his sweat-soaked skin. The bed was uncomfortable, but he never felt more content as Rowan reached for him, pulling him close.

  “I needed that,” he said once he caught his breath.

  James smiled and pressed a kiss to the tip of his chin. “Yeah?”

  “It was just a shit day. The airport was crowded, a baby screamed the entire flight, the rental place was out of cars and I had to take a fucking taxi with no AC all the way into town to find one.” Rowan’s breath came out in a slow shudder, and James could tell there was something else.

  “Tell me,” he said, his nails scratching along the bare skin of Rowan’s back.

  “It’s ridiculous.”

  James pulled back slightly and lifted an eyebrow. “You think I care?”

  Rowan didn’t meet his gaze, and he shrugged one shoulder. “No? Yes? I’m…I’ve been so busy, and everyone kept telling me it was fine if I didn’t come. I was starting to wonder if maybe it was because they didn’t want me here.”

  James’ heart beat hard against his ribs, regret welling up vicious and hot because he had been one of those people. He said the words, then prayed at night that Rowan wouldn’t listen to them, because he wasn’t sure he could handle the mess of his best friend getting married without Rowan there. But he also saw how overwhelmed Rowan was with trying to start his new advocacy practice, and how damn tired he was all the time.

  “Shit.” James cupped his cheek with one hand. “Shit, that was entirely my fault. God, I’m such an asshole. I…”

  His words stopped when Rowan pressed a finger to his lips. “Don’t. It was just me being insecure.”

  Closing his eyes, James breathed out. “It probably don’t help, how much I keep beggin’ you not to want a marriage.” Rowan’s silence spoke volumes, and James hated himself just a little bit more. “God. Darlin’ I…marry me, okay? Please.”

  “No.”

  James’ eyes opened and the shock kept him from feeling an immediate hurt. “What…”

  “No,” Rowan said again, but he was smiling with his eyes. “James, I don’t want to get married. And I’m not going to put you through this hell just because I have moments of insecurity.”

  James stared at him a long time before he was brave enough to speak. “You know that this,” he took Rowan’s hand and p
ressed it to his heart, “is yours, right? And it means so fuckin’ much more than a damn piece of paper.”

  “I know,” Rowan said, and James heard the truth in his tone. “I’ve never given a single fuck about marriage. I get why it’s important to Mat and Wyatt. I know why Sam and Niko wanted it. I will fight with my dying breath to make sure that every person in the world has the right to marry—if that’s what they want. But that’s never been something that mattered. We’re on the same page.”

  James finally let himself breathe, let Rowan gather him close. He tilted his head as Rowan began to kiss at his pulse, and his heart calmed down a little. “I would, though. I’d marry you. Right here, this weekend, if you wanted it.”

  Rowan laughed, the sound rumbling against his skin. “I know.”

  “You’re my whole universe, darlin’. Every single inch of it.”

  Rowan cupped his cheek as he pulled back, then leaned in to kiss him, speaking right against his lips. “I know.”

  Rowan felt like an idiot the next morning, after he’d showered off the plane smell and had time to settle into the room. The night of uninterrupted sleep took the edge off the previous week where he’d only managed to snatch a handful of hours at a time, but being more clear-headed made him realize what a pathetic asshole he’d been with James.

  In reality, it had hurt his feelings every time James begged him never to propose. And it was entirely unfair because the last thing in the world Rowan wanted was to get married. He saw no point in it—he’d seen far too much in his line of work to ever believe that marriage made a goddamn difference.

  And he knew the struggle James felt with the idea of it.

  Rowan never wanted that for either of them. He was in love—he was always going to be in love with James. But there were moments his quiet fear of abandonment that had been seared into him by his years of loss as a child took over. They whispered in his ear, harsh and ugly, left him afraid. And he wasn’t sure they’d ever go away, not entirely. No matter how hard James loved him, and how hard he loved James back.

  He was just grateful it was only James who had seen that vulnerable piece of him, because James had held him, and kissed him until he felt all of his pieces come back together. And then they slept.

  Rowan woke to a note on the pillow letting him know that James had gone out to help with the final wedding set-up. Mat and Wyatt had chosen the rose garden at sunset, both to combat the heat, and to combat the early afternoon crowds of tourists.

  The place was chaos since a few of Wyatt’s brothers had come down for the wedding, and James had been busy trying to keep Mat calm with his fear that his family might show up and try something stupid. It was one of the few times in his life Rowan felt grateful for his life being more of an island.

  He dressed in loose shorts and a t-shirt, then made his way downstairs to the living room and followed the smell of coffee into the small, western-themed kitchen. There was a buffet along the far wall with what looked like continental fare, and he saw Sam there, pouring cream into his travel mug.

  “Morning.”

  Sam turned his head and his face broke out into a huge smile. “You made it.”

  Rowan rubbed the back of his neck and flushed. He felt bad for being so busy, but more than that, he felt like shit for making James worry that he wasn’t going to show. “Yeah, my meetings ran long, and I didn’t realize how fucking far this place was from the airport.”

  Sam pulled a face. “Yeah, man. It was hell. May was in a goddamn mood by the time we got in.”

  “Where is she?” Rowan asked, glancing around. There was no sign of the kids anywhere, which was unusual.

  “Kat and Tony took them to see the horses,” Sam said, and let out a heavy sign of relief. “She was up every two hours, I feel like I’m gonna fucking die.”

  Rowan chuckled, then reached past his friend to get one of the white mugs stacked by the window. “Where’s everyone else?”

  Sam set his mug between his legs, then rolled back to give Rowan access to the cream and sugar. “Oh, groomzilla has a ten mile list of shit for everyone to do.” He grinned, and Rowan knew he was talking about Mat. “Did he rope you into anything?”

  “No, but I think he wasn’t sure I was going to get here on time.” Rowan eyed a chair, and Sam nodded, following him over to the table. “Last night was…” He bit his lip, not sure he should be speaking about their issues with one of Mat’s friends, but then again, it was easy to forget that these were his friends now too. No, they were his family.

  “You okay?” Sam asked with a frown.

  Rowan dragged a hand down his face. “Fine. Yeah, just…things have been weird with James lately. I mean, we’re good,” he added when he saw Sam’s eyebrows dip into a frown. “I think Mat getting married has him all panicked that he’s gonna have to do it too.”

  Sam’s cheek sank in when he bit down on it, and he breathed out through his nose. “Probably doesn’t help that Niko and I did. And Derek and Basil…”

  “Right,” Rowan murmured.

  “So now he wants to…”

  “No.” Rowan heard the tightness in his tone, and he took a breath. “I think he’s afraid I want that whole thing. Marriage, kids.”

  “White picket fence?” Sam offered with a grin.

  “It’s never been a goal for me,” Rowan told him, then took another long drink. The coffee was just shy of too cold, especially with the cream, but he was already starting to feel more awake. “But even when I tell him that, he gets all…panicked.”

  “I don’t know that James will ever be capable of having any chill about anything,” Sam said, grinning softly, “but especially relationships. That stupid old fuck who raised him really did a number on him. And I know people say you need to have patience—and you do. But you might need to just have patience for…”

  “As long as we both shall live?” Rowan asked quietly.

  Sam’s face softened. “Something like that.”

  “I’d marry him,” Rowan said, “if that’s what he wanted. But I know it isn’t, and I just want him to stop worrying that it’s going to fall to pieces because some bullshit piece of paper hasn’t made it legal.” He cleared his throat and offered a small grin. “No offense.”

  Sam laughed, shaking his head, and he reached out to give Rowan’s arm a pat. “I’m not insulted. We all have our reasons. Mine were both being in love and being practical. Niko’s rich and I’m disabled. For me, existing is expensive, and if anything happens to me, I need to know that May’s safe. But if we hadn’t married, nothing between us would have changed. And James will eventually come to terms with what you two need.”

  Rowan bowed his head. “It’s…not him, though.”

  Sam blinked at him. “What?”

  “It’s me.” He rubbed a hand down his face and let out a watery laugh. “James doesn’t want to get married, and he’s terrified that I will. He’s terrified that he’ll have to compromise all those reasons why marriage turns his stomach. He still hears his dad’s voice in his head, you know? Condemning people like us, hating people like us. Like him. He doesn’t want any part of it, and I know he sees the look on my face when he tells me it’s never.”

  “But you said…”

  “I meant it,” Rowan interrupted. “I meant it when I said I didn’t want to get married and never did. But sometimes it feels like a rejection.”

  Sam’s face lit up with understanding, and he took Rowan’s hand gently in his own. “Loving someone is usually heaven, but sometimes it’s hell. But I hope you know you changed his life in ways I didn’t think were capable. Not him—I don’t mean you changed him. I mean that you gave him the ability and safety to be himself. And he’s not going to just forget that when he’s feeling uncomfortable.”

  “I know,” Rowan said quietly.

  Before either of them could speak again, Mat and James strolled in, and Rowan’s entire body hummed with desire and love that went far beyond words. James’ eyes lit up like the sun
, his entire body turning, focused on Rowan’s presence.

  Sam faded into the background—everything faded into the background—as he crossed the room and pulled James in for a kiss.

  “What’s all this?” James asked against his lips, his fingers curled into the back of Rowan’s shirt.

  “I love you.”

  James blinked at him, but his mouth was twitched into something like a smile. “Yeah?”

  “Yes.” Rowan felt something in him that he couldn’t explain—something like forever, like eternity, like infinity. And he knew then it didn’t matter what happened between them, he wasn’t going anywhere.

  “Is everything okay, darlin’?” James asked after a beat.

  Rowan brushed the backs of his knuckles over the curve of James’ jaw and nodded. “Yes. Everything is absolutely perfect.”

  James wasn’t one for crying. He’d done enough of it in his youth, and it had mostly been beat out of him by his father’s angry hands. But as he stood there next to Mat watching him offer vows that James knew he meant with every fiber of his being, his throat got a little tight and his eyes a little hot.

  He stared ahead, because he knew if he looked anywhere else—he knew if he met Rowan’s gaze—that would be it for him, and he didn’t want to suffer that kind of humiliation. It had been a long damn day of wrangling Wyatt’s brothers, of getting everyone where they needed to be, of setting it all up so it was the most perfect day. And in the end, it was worth it.

  But he was resolved to never do this.

  And he was resolved to spend the rest of his life making sure that Rowan understood that they didn’t need it. Their love was so fucking much more important than that. And he supposed that’s why, in the end, he understood why Mat and Wyatt needed this. Mat had been through so much, and Wyatt had suffered so much in his first marriage.

  It was only fair that they get these second changes.

  With Rowan, it was his first. And his only. And he planned to make sure he did right by him—no matter what anyone else in the world might think.