After the Fall

by Brad Graber

  “Oh, honey, you’re going to have to go back. Your grandmother has legal custody.”

  Rikki quickly corrected herself. “I’m not looking to run away. I just don’t want to go back now.”

  Evelyn nodded as if she understood.

  “Evelyn?” Barney asked, “May I use your computer?”

  ◆

  Minutes later, Barney returned from the den. He directed the question to Evelyn. “What does H&L stand for?”

  “I’m terrible,” Evelyn admitted. “I really don’t remember. It was always H&L. That’s all Elle ever said. But it was a high-end interior design firm.”

  “Haney & Lewis?” Barney asked.

  “Why, yes,” Evelyn said with astonishment. “That’s it.”

  “I’ve got their phone number, right here,” he said, showing a piece of paper to Rikki. “We can call them. Ask to speak to the president of the company.”

  “Yes,” Evelyn agreed. “But not until Tuesday. So today, we have Christmas together, and tomorrow, Monday, everyone is off. So, you’re going to have to wait until Tuesday morning. We can do it Tuesday morning.”

  ◆

  Edward sat at the kitchen counter, paging through the special holiday edition of the Arizona Republic. “Wow. Look at all these amazing places for Christmas dinner. My God. Who knew Phoenix was such a gastronomic hub? I should have booked a later flight and stayed for dinner.”

  “Typical New Yorker,” Harry said as he poured himself another cup of coffee.

  “New York by way of Missouri.”

  Harry laughed. “So now you’re a Midwesterner.”

  Edward smiled. “It’s Christmas. Excuse me for being sentimental.”

  “Oh, no,” Harry offered. “You should embrace it. We’re all products of our upbringing. The good and bad. You’d never be the person you are today without it.”

  “I suppose,” Edward agreed, looking up from the paper. “But the Midwest is not a place for gay people.”

  “There are plenty of gay people there. Living ordinary lives. Mixing in with the community. Going to church. Indistinguishable from anyone else.”

  “How the hell would you know, Harry? Living your quiet life locked up in this house? Phoenix is not exactly a slice of Americana.”

  “I disagree,” Harry said, holding up his coffee cup. “Phoenicians come from all over. Many from Illinois, Michigan, Indiana, and Iowa. Some of the nicest people you’ll ever meet.”

  “Oh,” Edward said as he turned to the Op Ed section of the paper. “And a very opinionated bunch, I see.”

  “Hey, that paper is often accused of being too liberal.”

  “This is still a red state. That governor of yours—and the sheriff. And why does anyone have a sheriff in 2005? Where are we? The wild, wild West?”

  Harry stretched his neck. “I know,” he agreed. “It seems odd. But trust me. Phoenix is an amazing place.”

  Edward didn’t miss a beat. “So, where are your gay friends? I’d like to meet them.”

  Harry sipped his coffee before answering. “You know me. I’ve never been great at making friends.”

  “But you do have friends,” Edward pressed.

  “A few, yes, but not anyone special.”

  “Oh. So you’ve talked about Richard to these friends.”

  Harry bit his lip. “What do you mean?”

  “I think that was pretty clear, Harry.”

  “Well, there’s no need to bring that up.”

  “The man you loved isn’t worth mentioning? You’ve never told anyone that your first partner died of AIDS?”

  Harry shook his head. “It was so long ago.”

  “What does that mean?” Edward asked, a tone of outrage in his voice. “Harry, you don’t get to conceal the facts of your life because they’re inconvenient. You should honor that relationship. You took care of him. You loved him. He’s still a part of you. You can try to bury all of that deep inside, but he’s still there.”

  Harry put his cup down on the counter. “How about if we change the subject.”

  “Would you rather talk about what’s going on with Lil? What the hell is that all about?”

  Harry pointed an index finger. “I don’t need to explain anything to you.”

  “Oh, Harry,” Edward said in a disheartened tone as he rose to his feet. “Okay. I’ll let it go. But it’s too sad for words.”

  Harry reacted without thinking. “I thought you were here to work on the manuscript, not critique my life.”

  Edward nodded. “Right,” he said, as the sparkle in his eyes transformed to a dull stare. “Last night, after you drifted off, I reread the last chapters of that novel of yours. You still have work to do, Harry. A lot of work. The story is still not flowing properly. I left my notes on your desk. I’d suggest you read through it. Now, I’d better shower and get dressed if I expect to catch that noon flight.”

  Harry dropped his head to his chest. “I’m sorry, Edward. I didn’t mean what I said. At least have something to eat. Let me fix you some breakfast.”

  Edward frowned. “Oh, yes, you did. You meant every word of it. Harry needs to be alone. Harry is a victim, unable to make decisions, unless, of course, you’re a character in one of his novels. Then Harry can write it anyway he sees it.”

  Harry felt awful. “Edward, really . . .”

  Edward crossed the kitchen. “You know, Harry, being lost and confused in your twenties and thirties is understandable. But a man of your age should have a better sense of himself. It’s a damn shame,” he said, before disappearing down the hall.

  ◆

  “Are you ready?” Harry called out. “You’d better get a move on or you’ll miss the flight.”

  Beetle scampered about, excited by Harry’s voice. Harry sidestepped the terrier, almost tripping over him. Edward emerged from the guest room, pants on, shirt noticeably missing. “Can’t wait to get rid of me, can you?”

  “You know how I am,” Harry apologized. “I hate being late. Besides, you need to eat before you go.”

  “You mean you hate my being late and possibly missing the flight. Well, don’t worry. When you make me sleep in the guestroom . . . hey, I know it’s time to go,” Edward said disappearing back through the doorway.

  “I can’t help it,” Harry called out. “I can’t sleep with anyone in my bed.”

  “You mean you won’t,” Edward shot back.

  Harry decided to let the matter rest. He was tired of explaining his proclivities to Edward. All he ever did was explain himself, which was odd since Edward had read everything Harry had ever written. If he doesn’t know me by now, what’s the point? Harry thought. It’s hopeless.

  With breakfast on the table, Edward took a seat. “This must be a real day of celebration. Pancakes? You made these for me?”

  “Well, it is Christmas day,” Harry said as he sat down, coffee cup in hand. “I know you like pancakes.”

  “Is there any syrup?” Edward asked, looking about.

  Harry slapped a palm to his forehead. “Syrup. Damn, I forgot all about it. I don’t have any.”

  Edward sighed as he used his fork to cut his way through the stack. “Isn’t it just like you? Halfway Harry. Give a little, hold back a little.”

  “Now,” Harry objected, “that’s not fair.”

  “Isn’t it, though?” Edward said eyeing him. “Isn’t it just a little true?”

  11

  Rikki was eager to get outside after being in the house all of Christmas Day. With Christmas falling on a Sunday, Monday was the observed business holiday, and so many of the stores remained closed. “We can go to a movie,” Evelyn suggested as the three sat at the breakfast table deciding on the day’s activities. “Or, we can always take a drive.”

  “I wouldn’t mind seeing some of the city while we’re here,” Barney said, his mouth full of toast.

  Evelyn obliged, suggesting a tour of the Detroit suburbs. Loaded into Evelyn’s Honda Accord, Rikki in the backseat, Barney upfront wit
h Evelyn, the three traveled south along Woodward Avenue, turning east onto Eleven Mile Road as they made their way into the suburb of Royal Oak.

  Rikki stared out the window. Everything seemed oddly familiar, as if she’d seen it all before but through the lens of a camera. Distant and yet very real.

  “Oh my,” Rikki said as Evelyn headed south on Washington Avenue, passing a number of the small shops, the windows covered in tinsel and glitter. “I remember that store.”

  “No wonder,” Evelyn laughed. “That’s Gayle’s Chocolates. Your mother loved that place. Chocolate-covered Oreos and graham crackers were her favorite.”

  “Evelyn, can we come back when the store is open?”

  “Well, honey,” Evelyn said, “they’ll be open tomorrow. Tuesday is a working day. We’ll come back then.”

  “Okay,” Rikki said, now leaning forward, a hand on Barney’s headrest as she scooched further up. “But tomorrow, we have to call H&L and find out about Phoenix.”

  Evelyn hit the brakes, sending Barney’s head jerking forward. “Hey,” he called out, seemingly alarmed by the hard stop.

  With the car in the middle of the street, Evelyn turned to face Rikki. “You’re not going to leave . . . are you?”

  Rikki blinked. “Evelyn, that depends on what we learn. I’m going to try to find my uncle’s friends. And we only have a few days left to find them.”

  “But that only gives us today,” Evelyn complained as she looked from Rikki to Barney.

  Barney chimed in. “We’re here to learn about Rikki’s family. She wants to know what happened to her uncle. I think we owe it to her to help.”

  Evelyn sighed. “But they might live anywhere. Even in New York City. You’re not going to hurry back to New York?”

  Rikki thought about it for a moment. “No, I guess not. If they’re in New York, it can wait till we get home.”

  ◆

  Rikki struggled to sleep Monday night. All she could think about was that slip of paper with the H&L phone number. Eventually, she drifted off, only to awake at ten o’clock, later than she had planned. She jumped out of bed and rushed into the kitchen where Barney and Evelyn were already up and talking. “I overslept,” Rikki cried as she searched for the slip of paper with the H&L phone number. “I thought we left it by the phone,” she moaned as she eyed the perfectly clean counter.

  “I slipped it into the top drawer,” Evelyn said.

  Rikki rummaged through the drawer until Evelyn came over and finally found the slip of paper. “Here,” she said, handing it to Rikki. “Calm down, young lady.”

  Rikki held her breath at the sound of the first ring. Would anyone be able to help her? Even remember her mother?

  “Haney & Lewis,” the voice rang out after the fifth ring. “How may I help you?”

  Rikki searched for her voice. She wasn’t quite sure what to say while Barney and Evelyn sat around the table, their eyes glued on her.

  “Hello,” the voice called out. “Is anyone there?”

  Rikki held the phone away from her ear as she spoke into the mouthpiece. “Yes,” Rikki gasped. “I’m right here.”

  “May I help you?”

  “I’m looking for someone who might have known my mother,” she said, certain that she sounded like a complete fool. “I mean . . . my mother used to work for your company. She’s dead now,” she muttered, shaken as the words left her mouth, as if a scar, poorly healed, had once again been ripped open.

  There was silence on the other end of the line. And then a concerned voice said loudly. “I can direct you to Human Resources.”

  Rikki looked at Evelyn, who nodded her head in the affirmative.

  “Yes, thank you,” she said.

  ◆

  The office of Hanley & Lewis was abuzz with activity when a secretary from Human Resources rushed through the showroom to knock on the closed door of the boardroom. “Mr. Allington,” she said demurely, “there’s an important call for you, sir.”

  Surrounded by his top three designers, the old gentleman showed his displeasure at being interrupted. “I can’t be taking any calls now, Greta. Please take a message and I’ll get back to them,” he said, redirecting his attention to the boards spread before him. “Are you sure lime green is the color palate you want to use?” he asked one of the designers. “It just seems too bright.”

  “Mr. Allington,” Greta intoned with importance. “The call is from Elle’s daughter, Rikki.”

  Allington looked up, his expression full of surprise. “Well,” he said, as Greta chased after him. “Can I take that call in my office?”

  “Yes, sir,” she affirmed. “She’s waiting on hold.”

  ◆

  Rikki was startled by the boom of the voice on the other end. “Rikki? Can it be you? Rikki Richards?”

  Rikki had no idea who she was talking to or why the man had changed her last name. “This is Rikki Goldenbaum,” she answered, more amused than confused as she mugged to the two around the kitchen table.

  “Ask who you’re speaking with,” Evelyn whispered.

  “This is Bill Allington,” the voice replied, without Rikki needing to say another word.

  Evelyn gestured for Rikki to pass the phone, which she did.

  “Hello, sir,” she said, and introduced herself. “I’m a family friend of Elle’s and her daughter, Rikki, and Rikki would like to learn more about her mother. She’d also like to find out about her mother’s brother, where he lived, and maybe anyone who might have known anything about her uncle.”

  The voice steadied. “Well, then, she’s come to the right place. I was her mother’s mentor. I adored Elle. She was like a daughter to me,” he said with genuine emotion. “I’ve tried to reach out and communicate with Rikki, but that horrible woman blocked my path at every turn. I finally gave up. But I’m so glad that Rikki’s contacted me. That little girl is a beneficiary in my will.”

  Evelyn registered a surprised look.

  “So, how is Rikki doing?” the voice asked.

  “Oh, here, let me put her on and she can tell you herself.” Evelyn passed the phone to Rikki.

  “Hello,” Rikki tentatively said.

  “Rikki, is that you? Rikki, I’d love to see you. Are you in Manhattan?”

  “No,” Rikki answered. “I’m visiting with Evelyn in Michigan.”

  “Oh,” the voice answered. “Well, you probably don’t remember this, but I helped change your diapers.”

  ◆

  December 1981

  Dear Richard,

  I’m finally settling into my life. After a year, I’m beginning to believe that perhaps interior design is an acceptable way for an artist to earn a living. With the bonus I got from working on the Revlon offices, I’ve been able to find an apartment in Turtle Bay. So I’ll be moving next month. The United Nations is just a few steps away. Imagine! Please say you’ll come visit. I’m dying to show off my wardrobe. You won’t recognize your big sister. And even though I’ll miss the East Village, I won’t miss the roaches. We just had the place fumigated again. The restaurant downstairs is a regular breeding ground. I pray the roaches don’t get ahold of my uptown address.

  How are your studies going? I bet you’re acing all your classes without even breaking a sweat. Let me know.

  I miss you, my darling brother. Don’t be a stranger.

  Write soon.

  Love Elle

  ◆

  “Evelyn, I don’t know how to thank you,” Rikki said as the Honda Accord made its way in the dark along Interstate 94 to the Detroit Metropolitan Airport that Wednesday morning after Christmas.

  “I should have my head examined,” Evelyn chided. “Putting two kids on a plane to Phoenix on a wild goose chase. And at such an early hour! Did I tell you that you’re stopping in Chicago and changing planes?”

  “Yes,” Rikki answered, excited about the trip but feeling guilty about taking advantage of Evelyn’s generosity. “I’m sorry,” she blurted out. More of a statement of fact than a
genuine sentiment.

  “Well, here we are,” Evelyn said as she took the exit to Merriman Road. The terminals slowly came into view. “With the time change, you should be in Phoenix by ten.” Evelyn called to the back seat. “Barney, are you still alive?”

  Rikki turned about to see Barney dozing. “He’s fast asleep,” she said.

  “Great,” Evelyn blurted out as Rikki spotted the sign for Northwest Airlines.

  “I’m going to drop you by the doors,” Evelyn said as the car slowed. “Now, remember what I told you. If you need anything, ask the flight attendants. And when you get to Phoenix, call me.” She turned to look at Barney, who was starting to rouse. “Promise me.”

  “Oh,” was all Rikki could manage as her eyes grew moist.

  “You better get a move on,” Evelyn added as airport security approached the car. “They won’t let us sit here too long.”

  Together, the three gathered on the curb as Barney retrieved the luggage from the trunk. Evelyn embraced Barney and then Rikki.

  “Be sure to call me from Phoenix,” Evelyn said, as she tucked a stray lock of Rikki’s hair behind her ear. “I need to know that you’re okay.”

  “I will,” Rikki said. “And thank you so much for buying my airline ticket. I know it must have been a fortune.”

  Evelyn smiled. “There are those rare times in life that we get to do something special for someone we truly love. I’m glad I was able to do it for you.”

  “And thank you for my ticket, too,” Barney added.

  Evelyn smiled, pulling Barney into an embrace. “Now, make sure you take good care of our girl.”

  Barney nodded as the security guard approached. “You’ll have to move that car.”

  Evelyn released Barney and offered Rikki a final kiss on the cheek.

  As Rikki passed through the sliding glass doors, she glanced back as Evelyn pulled away from the curb. Her mother’s voice echoed in her head. Good people show up when you need them. Always try to be a good person.

  ◆

  Rikki waited in the passenger lounge for Barney to return from the restroom. The gate was packed with holiday travelers on their way home, some sporting red Santa hats, many with small children. A young woman with blonde hair, a toddler in tow, passed by. She had on a distinctive perfume. A scent that Rikki recognized as her memory triggered.