Hollow Hearts (The Harkwright Trilogy Book 1)

by B C Morgan

  Can I really apply? No I shouldn’t, it would be crazy. Although, I’m not going to be chosen and it would be silly not to at least look at the application form, where’s the harm in it?

  The form loads up and it's insane, can they really ask someone these kinds of questions? Why would it matter if I was a virgin or how many people I had kissed? What kind of things does this place expect from the girls who are selected to stay? I need to forget all about this and go home, I definitely should not fill in this form and send it off. Nope, I shouldn’t do it, I won’t do it, it could end up being the biggest mistake of my life.

  Two weeks, is that really all it's been? I should visit Poppy but I don’t think I can, it’s hard to see her all tubed and wired to these different machines. I need to think of a way to help my sister, maybe I can find a job somewhere and pay some of the fees. I’ll just make sure they don’t tell mom, she’s too proud and stubborn for her own good.

  “Luna, can you come down here for a moment please?” Why does her voice sound so strained? Stupid question, she’s tired and worried, I think I would be more worried if she doesn’t sound strained.

  I need to take some painkillers, my head is pounding, hopefully mom will have something for me.

  My breathing is labored as I jog down the stairs, I really need to exercise more. Although why should I waste the energy, it’s not like I eat enough to waste it on pointless exercise.

  “Hey mom,” I drop a kiss on her cheek before falling onto one of the dining chairs.

  “Luna, you stupid girl,” she turns to me and her eyes are red, and she has her hands on her hips with a large envelope clutched within one of them.

  “That’s a little harsh don’t you think, I mean I know I’m not book smart like Poppy but I wouldn’t say I’m stupid,” my voice wobbles as the tears hit the back of my eyes, I won’t let them fall. Mom is the only one who ever believes in me and to hear her call me stupid is heart wrenching.

  “You applied to be a Harkwright girl, there is no intelligence in a decision like that,” she’s spitting venom and I can feel my vision clouding over slightly.

  “You’re opening my mail now, what gives you the right?” I demand, I can’t believe I’m raising my voice to my mom, I am so going to hell for this.

  “I didn’t have to open it, their crest is right on the damn envelope,” she shouts as she slams her palm down on the table and leaves the envelope in her wake.

  “It doesn’t mean they have accepted me,” it sounds feeble even to my ears.

  “A rejection letter would be smaller, congratulations Luna you get to whore yourself out to fifteen guys, your sister would be so proud.”

  I think I would prefer she slap me or something, because her words hurt more than any strike she could ever deal to me. She isn’t even sticking around to hear me explain myself, she’d rather be at work than listen to my explanation.

  “Mom don’t be like this, please. I did it for a good reason, the money could really help Poppy,” her stare is darker than a thunderstorm.

  “Do not use your sister to validate this choice that you’ve made, you think you’ve chosen the easy way out well, you are wrong. If you get chosen, you will never be the same again. I can’t even look at you right now,” she wipes at her cheeks as she pulls her coat on and leaves our home and all I can do is stare at the envelope and wonder why they would call me in for the next stage.

  I slip the envelope into our side cabinet before pulling my jacket on and leaving the only place I’ve ever felt accepted. There's someone I need to see, even though I’ve been avoiding her, I can’t any longer. Not if I could be gone for the next three years, I still can’t see myself getting through to the last stage of selection but I can’t risk it.

  I arrive at the hospital and wrap my coat even tighter around myself, people are staring again. I feel as though if I stare at my skin I will see thousands of bugs crawling over me, although I know it isn’t bugs, it’s their eyes and I hate the way it’s making me feel. Maybe she’s right, if I can’t handle it here, how will I handle it inside the Academy?

  “Miss Carter, how good to see you again. It feels like it's been ages since you came to visit,” Doctor Stevenson comes straight up to me and wraps his arms around me. My crush is crashing to the surface yet again, I really need to stop daydreaming about my sister’s physician.

  “It has been a while I know, I’m an awful sister,” I can’t stop myself from grimacing as shame floods through me and my cheeks heat.

  “Hey now, I won’t hear you talking about yourself like that. It can’t be easy for you to see your sister like this, who can blame you for staying away. I wish I could tell you things were improving but I won’t lie to you,” he’s shuffling on his feet and I can’t help but notice, yet again, how young he is.

  He’s one of the few doctors here who doesn’t care about how much money his patients have, the only downside is, he’s the only doctor looking after my sister who is trying to make her better. The rest don’t give a damn about her and it’s breaking my heart. No doubt he’s falling in love with her like everyone else always does, great now I feel even worse because of having such a shitty thought about Poppy. It isn’t her fault, she’s always tried to make me see myself the way she does or did.

  “It’s okay, I’m working on making it better for her. I just might not be around for a little while and I couldn’t just disappear without seeing her first.”

  “Well, if you’re still here when I go on break come join me for a coffee,” he says before smiling at me and heading off to his next patient or so I presume. He is so nice.

  With his warm brown hair, green eyes and broad shoulders I just lose my mind. I mean it would be okay if he was like everyone else, but he’s not. He cares about people, wants to help others and seems to want to make the world a better place, why does he have to be so perfect?

  Walking into Poppy’s room is so surreal, she’s sitting up and looking out of the hospital window but that isn’t a positive sign for her.

  “Hey sis, I see doctor cutie is on today. I bet he’s eager for you to finally talk to him, you always were one to make the guys work for your attention,” I force a laugh out, as I circle round and kneel in front of her chair.

  Her eyes flick to me for a moment before returning to the window, I get it I really do.

  “I feel you big sis, you just want your freedom. Just come back to us and you can be free, I really need you Poppy, I’m struggling to hold it all in. I can barely keep mom from working herself to death, she needs you, I need you. I’ve done something so stupid and the worst thing is, I know I can still back out but I won’t. Not if it’s the thing that will bring you back to us, I love you Poppy, you’ll get to live your dreams soon enough. But no more doctor cutie, give the rest of us a chance, okay,” my laugh is as watery as my eyes as I kiss her on the forehead before standing up.

  Grabbing the brush from the bedside table, I brush through her curly locks, so different from my wavy hair, and my smile grows stronger at the thought that someone has been taking care of the little things for us. I know mom struggles to come every day, so I guess it's Stevenson, maybe one day I’ll find a guy like that for myself, I guess a girl can dream.

  An hour passes so quickly but I should go, I’ve more than likely missed his break by now so I hopefully won’t run into him on my way out.

  “See you soon beautiful,” I blow her a kiss and walk right into a firm and noticeably warm body.

  My breath lodges in my throat as my eyes travel up for miles to lock onto Dr. Stevenson’s who is giving me the warmest smile I have ever seen outside of my very small and until recently, tight knit family.

  “Fancy seeing you here,” his voice is like a warm whiskey, I know I’ve never tried it but I’ve heard that it’s warm.

  “Sorry, I just ran right into you,” I tuck my hair behind my ear, I hope he hasn’t seen me enough to know I only do it when I’m feeling nervous.

  “There are a lot worse
things to be run over by,” his smile is only growing bigger and I know he isn’t flirting with me, but it feels like he is. I really am hopeless.

  “Well seeing as you’re still here, it looks like I have some company for my break,” he holds his arm out to me and my legs are trembling as I slip my hand into the crook of his elbow and I may lean on him a little more than he intended. The gentleman that he is, he doesn’t seem to mind.

  He leads me to the cafeteria and grabs us both a sandwich and a strong cup of coffee, can’t say I drink it that much, but I do occasionally.

  “So, Luna, what’s new with you?” I wish he wouldn’t look at me so intently, I feel naked under his gaze but I don’t have the crawling sensation when it’s his eyes that are on me.

  “Actually, I may be going to college,” It’s not a complete lie, but I don’t feel good lying to him either.

  “That’s fantastic, I’m so proud of you Luna and I’m sure your sister is too. You will do incredible, I just know it.”

  “I’ll do okay I guess. Poppy’s the clever one, I’m just me,” I really need to stop tucking my hair behind my ear, he’s going to realise what it means.

  “You need to give yourself more credit, you’re incredible Luna. You’re funny, kind and I’ve never seen you raise your voice to anyone, even when they deserve it. I wish I could be that positive,” that warmth in his voice is killing me.

  “Says you, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without a smile on your face,” I shoot back with a giggle and he joins in with the sexiest laugh I have ever heard in my life.

  I wonder if all eighteen-year-olds think the way I do and imagine flirting where there isn’t any, as long as I correct myself it will be fine. Besides, I’ll probably only see him one more time after today if I get into the Academy.

  “Maybe I’m smiling because I’m around you, did you ever think of that?”

  I scoff as I take a deep pull of my coffee before setting the mug down, he doesn’t need to flatter me though.

  “Will you stop teasing, you wouldn’t only smile for me,” I say with a shake of my head.

  “Luna, I…” his beeper chooses this moment to go off and I think this is the first time I’ve seen him without a smile. He scowls down at the small device and frown lines begin to circle his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’ve got to go,” he sighs and all I can do is smile in reply as we both stand up and walk out of the cafeteria together.

  “Well, I hope I get to see you again before you go off to college,” he says as he takes my hand between both of his and strokes his thumb across the top of it. Pins and needles shoot up my arm and I suddenly feel breathless.

  “I’ll t-t-try,” I stutter and he awards me with one more smile before releasing my hand and I can’t stop myself from standing here and watching him walk away. My cheeks flame when he looks back and catches me red handed and all he does is send me a wink before chuckling as he rounds a corner and disappears from my line of sight.

  2

  The Selection Process

  The envelope is burning a hole through my bedside table that I moved it to once I got home from the hospital. It’s been nearly four weeks since it arrived and I’m struggling. Mom still won’t look at me and I feel so torn, be that as it may, it’s time for me to at least look at the contents.

  Miss Carter

  First allow me to thank you for the interest you have expressed within our organization, your application has made it through the screening process and I would like to offer you an appointment to go through the next stage. I have attached a checklist of everything you will need to bring for the appointment to be as successful as possible. There is also a suggestion for the attire you should attend in, I would recommend you check through this and follow my instructions. You are amongst the one hundred and fifty that have been selected to move on and that is, an honor in itself. Less than half will be selected to attend the Harkwright Academy, so I would also suggest that you do not allow yourself to get your hopes up too high, we only select the best of the best.

  If you are still interested in proceeding to the next stage, then please accept as soon as possible. If I have not heard back by 3/20/20 then I will assume you are no longer interested and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

  Yours Sincerely,

  Ms. Vanderbilt

  Well crap, that deadline is tomorrow. I knew I should have opened this sooner. I was just put off by my mom’s reaction, but I won’t let it hold me back any longer. She doesn’t want to look at me then fine, if I get in she’ll have three years where she can ignore me in peace.

  Since we don’t have a phone, I guess I better get to a pay phone and let her know that I am interested in going on to the next stage. Why am I interested? I guess because I know I won’t get chosen so I have nothing to be scared of. Maybe I’m in so much denial because I don’t want to face the possibility that I could be selling my soul to the devils of Harkwright Academy.

  It’s only taken me five minutes to get here and I guess there’s no reason to put it off any longer, as I punch in the numbers and balance the receiver between my ear and shoulder. The letter is gripped so tightly within my hand that my knuckles are turning white and the paper is tearing slightly.

  “Harkwright selection, Melissa speaking. How can I help you?” She sounds really bored, it must be a fascinating job she has.

  “Hi, I was told to ring about the second stage,” I hate how much I’m shaking, I’ve nearly dropped the phone three times and even my voice is trembling.

  “I’m assuming this is Luna Carter.”

  Okay, I was not expecting that. Also why is she now sounding colder than the arctic, instead of the boredom she had before?

  “That’s an impressive guess.”

  “Not at all, you are the only one who hasn’t called in and no one ever calls twice. There are no rescheduling or cancellations. So if you are calling this number then you must be Luna Carter and I wish you all the luck in the world for this conversation.”

  A beep sounds through my ear and I've wrapped the phone cord so tightly around my finger it's turning purple. How sarcastic and rude can you be? Poppy would never have stood for that kind of treatment, but then again, I’m not Poppy.

  “Miss Carter, I had all but written you off. Do you often leave things to the last minute?” What is it with everyone being angry with me lately, am I putting something out there?

  “No, of course not. I never usually leave things this long, I really am sorry ma’am.”

  “It is Ms, not ma’am. Also you are either very laxadaisical when it comes to punctuality or forgetful. Personally, neither of those are attributes that I will be willing to put forth for the next stage. So, what is your reasoning Luna or should I put a strike through your name like I have already done in my mind?”

  “Please don’t, I would have called sooner. It’s just, I didn’t open the letter until today,” I can feel her indignation all the way from here, my words may not be able to win this lady over. “I never thought I’d get accepted, I was nervous and I let my nerves get the better of me. Please, give me one more chance,” I hate that I’m pleading with her, I’m definitely going to jump in the shower and wash myself clean of this conversation when I get back.

  “Look, I’m going to be honest with you here. There is nothing about this conversation that makes me want to bring you in for the interview stage, I can’t see you being Harkwright material. That being said, your application and adjoining photo was selected by a higher up so I can’t just dismiss you. So this is what I am going to do, I will give you an appointment to come in and see me tomorrow. This will be your official interview and it will be followed up by a visit with a physician as soon as we are done. Only, I also want you to write me an essay of why you want to come to Harkwright, and no excuses Luna, I’ll see right through it.”

  “Okay Ms, I can do that,” I can’t do that.

  “Tomorrow, 9am. Harkwright Offices in the town of Harkwright and you will find us
down Hark street, you really cannot miss our building. Do not be late and I will suggest that arriving early may be in your best interest, see you tomorrow Miss Carter,” the dial tone is ringing loudly in my ear, I can't believe this. I am so royally screwed.

  I guess I’d better get home and start writing. I can’t say it’s my strong suit and my handwriting tends to get messier the more I write. I wish we had a computer but I feel selfish even thinking that. I want a computer to write an essay to give up my free will for three years. I know I’m exaggerating but it’s hard not to take the rumors seriously when the academy is surrounded by nothing but secrecy.

  I can feel eyes drilling into me again, maybe I'm imagining it but either way I can’t even fathom the strength to let it bother me, my mind is in a tailspin over what I’m supposed to write. She did say not to bullshit her but just how transparent should I be? The whole truth or just enough?

  Getting to the front door and turning the handle and my heart is pounding within my chest, I can’t believe I didn’t lock the front door. My mom is going to kill me! Everyone knows we’re burglar central here, no extra security and windows that anyone with a crowbar could prie open. Sweat is pooling on my brow as I push it open slowly, ready for someone in a ski mask to jump out at me, brandishing whatever is his weapon of choice.