by B C Morgan
I’ve been holed up in my room for two months, having meals delivered outside my door and nurses visiting me to check the stitching and replace the bandages. Not just because of the injuries but my own fear as well. Their hospitality even stretches to my work being left outside so I don’t fall behind. I don’t know why they are letting me hide away, but I won’t argue it. I don’t trust their reasoning behind it, but I’m not the type to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Right now, I can’t face seeing anyone, wondering which girls knew it would happen and even if any of the guys were involved. Although, I may need to seek someone out soon, because I can’t go on much longer without knowing whether Candice survived.
A knock sounds on my door and I open it hesitantly, but I won’t deny the relief I feel at seeing Liam standing there.
“Come in,” I say, as I pull the door open wider and he gives me a gentle smile as he closes the door behind him.
“Fuck Luna, I’ve been going out of my mind worrying about you. I would have come sooner but your bodyguard wouldn’t let anyone but the nurses and female cleaners into your room. Sexist prick.”
“Bodyguard?”
“Yeah, after what happened the Prince decreed a bodyguard be put at your door for the foreseeable future. I guess he had to take a break or something because this is the first time he hasn’t been at his post,” my jaw drops open at his words. I wasn’t expecting that.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, taking my non bandaged hand in his and threading our fingers together.
“What are you doing Liam?” I ask, as a bone weary sigh passes through me.
“I’m being a friend, stop reading so much into everything,” he replies with an awkward chuckle and I let him lead me over to the love seat.
Flopping down, I pull away when he sits a little too close for comfort, I’m worried that someone may come in and see us. Not for myself, but for him. God knows what the Harkwrights will do to him, no matter how innocent it is.
“I don’t want to talk, but if you’re willing, I could use a good rant,” laughing mirthlessly I look at him and he nods almost eagerly. Okay, I guess he wants my words, it’s strange but I like it.
“I don’t even know where to begin,” groaning, I drag my hand down my face, wincing at the pain it causes in my arm.
“Don’t think, just do.”
His words make me pause for a moment, wondering what he would do if he didn’t have to think or second guess his actions and choices.
“I’m angry,” it comes out low, almost as if I’m testing the words out on my tongue. His eyes don’t move away from mine and I think I can do this. It may even help, if only I could say it to the one person I really want to hear it. “I’m angry that I nearly died and no one will tell me what happened to Candice. That even after everything I went through, I still had to sit a lie detector test to prove that I wasn’t lying to try and steal the spot from Four. I hate myself for wishing she was the one that had a knife go into her,” my blood is heating and I can’t sit still. Standing up, I start to pace and I don’t look at Liam as I keep talking, ridding myself of the weight I’ve been carrying since it happened. “The worst part is that I’m hating someone I don’t even know and I can’t even tell him,” okay that part may have come out a little louder than I intended.
“What do you mean? Who do you hate?”
“Emmet, I hate him more than I’ve ever hated anything or anyone before, and I put all the blame on him for my injuries. For nearly dying and for whatever happened to Candice,” the weight of my words hangs heavy between us and I barely notice him standing up until he’s in front of me.
His hands fall on my shoulders and I’m breathing hard as my rage fights to stay on the surface. I hardly feel the way his hands run up and down my arms until I’m being pulled against his chest and his arms are wrapping around me. Stroking down the back of my head as hot, angry tears prick my eyes and soak through the fabric of his top.
“Why do you hate the Prince Luna? He isn’t even here,” he sounds perplexed, but I think I detect excitement as well. Maybe he hates Emmet as much as I do.
“Because it’s all his fault, and I’m standing here questioning my sanity and I may as well lay that at his feet,” I push at his chest and take a step back. “Do you know that he decreed that no guy shall as much as touch me until he gets here? That he is so important it allows no one else to want me or act on it until he says so. The worst part is that I don’t even know why I care so freaking much,” I will be pulling my hair out soon if I don’t get a grip.
“Luna, take a second and think hard about this. Do you want the guys to treat you like the other girls, to call your number, give you a few orders and then throw you aside when they’re done. I’m not making excuses for the Prince because no one knows why he does the things he does, but he’s stopping that from happening to you. So what do you want?”
“I want…” I let out a breath, before rolling my shoulders and looking up at the ceiling as though it holds all the answers. “I want to know what his fascination is with me, to be left alone without feeling as though there’s something hideously wrong with me,” tears clog my throat and I wipe furiously at the ones falling from my eyes. “I’ve always felt like a stand in Liam, it was only furthered when I was made a Zero. I guess for once in my life, I want to feel as though I’m not only someone’s first choice, but their only choice. That’s what I want. That and for Emmet to get a heavy dose of his own medicine. Let him know what it’s like to not be highly sought after because no matter what happens, if I was given the choice I would never pick him.”
I spin around and find him close, oh so fucking close to me. His eyes are staring at my lips and I find myself looking at his in return. No Luna, you do not want to kiss Liam. He’s your friend and you can have Cole if you say yes. Move away.
“What?” I ask on a whisper.
“Can I kiss you Luna?”
“No,” it comes out weak so I step back to show him I mean my words. “You’re my friend Liam and I won’t ruin that.”
“Shit, I’m sorry. I should never have asked you that, but you’re the only person I’ve ever met who doesn’t care about the guys surnames or the money. Even the Prince doesn’t stand a chance, despite his messed up way of trying to help you. You are incredible Luna and I can’t help but imagine what it would be like if you were mine.”
“The Prince doesn’t care what I want, if he did he would ask me. Besides, I meant what I said, all of this is his fault, he put a neon sign over my head, and the girls don’t like that. He’s made me forbidden fruit and people are stupid enough that they’re going to start thinking I’m special to him or something. I’m happy to keep ahold of my v-v-virginity but he can’t make me off limits and expect me to not become cannon fodder for the jealous little girls in this place.”
“I love the way you never swear, even when you could easily call them jealous little bitches,” my cheeks heat at his words, and I return to the love seat and he claims the seat beside me.
“Have I made things awkward between us?” he asks and I shake my head and smile at the breath he releases. I jump a little as he grabs my feet and pulls them on his lap, but I soon relax as his thumbs knead at the soles and I don’t think I’ve ever felt more relaxed than I do right now. How fucked up is that? I mean really.
Two more days, that’s all I give myself before I decide to leave my room and go to the mess hall. Only I can’t contain the squeak that leaves me when I open my door and come face to face with the Mountain.
“Y-y-you, why are you here?”
“I’m not going to waste time answering pointless questions,” he says and I almost disappear back into my room but I won’t. I’m done hiding from what happened, I survived and I need to stop acting as though I’m sorry about that outcome.
“How long do I have you for?”
“Today is my last day playing doorman, unless you’ve decided to stop hiding like a meek little mouse,”
his words aggravate me and I slam my door harder than necessary, before standing in front of him.
“I’m not a mouse, and I’m done staring at the same four walls,” I reply and a smile pulls at his mouth before it fades and he mock salutes me.
“Then I’ll be on my way, good luck Snowflake,” he turns and walks away, and I take one last look at myself before rolling my shoulders and heading to the mess hall.
I don’t miss the stares from the girls in the corridors or the few of the guys loitering in the foyer, but I don’t stare back. That’s not to say that I don’t feel weighed down by the time I walk inside the mess hall and it’s only going to get worse.
Caitlyn looks at me as I make my way over to the food station, she gives me a timid smile but I don’t return it. I’m not annoyed that she didn’t visit me but I am annoyed with myself that I let it hurt. She did the right thing ignoring me after what happened, she doesn’t need to be in their firing line because of who she associates with, but it still hurt my little fragile heart and I’m sick of being weak. I just don’t know how to make a change without becoming the person my mom feared I would turn into.
“Little Zero, we had a bet going on how long it would take you to resurface,” comes from behind me before Aeron moves to stand at my side.
“Who won?” I ask, as though it doesn’t bother me, making myself a plate of pancakes with all the toppings I can fit on the plate.
“Tucker the asshole, he guessed you’d come back after the six week mark. I said three days and Maddox refused to have any part of it.”
“Why three days?” I cock my head to the side, but I still refuse to look at him.
“Because I thought you were stronger than you clearly are.”Okay, that garners him my attention and he smirks as my eyes fly to his and my fingers twitch with the sudden urge to slap that stupid look right off his face.
“I almost died, how strong did you expect me to be?” I hiss and his cheeks hollow out before he pulls a joint out from behind his ear and sparks it up, right here by the breakfast food.
“Yeah but you didn’t, shame you couldn’t own it sooner. I expected more from you Little Zero,” he walks away and I should keep my words to myself but nothing could stop me.
“I expected more from you too.”
He laughs like I’ve just invented the best joke ever told, before he grabs my arm and drags me over to the Harkwright table. He doesn’t even notice the fact I’m hissing through my teeth as his fingers bear down on the bandage. It’s better, but it hasn’t fully healed yet and it still hurts.
“Aeron, you fucking dickhead,” my head shoots up right as a fist smashes into his cheek and his hand releases me. I step back as he takes blow after blow until someone pulls Tucker away and he still has the audacity to laugh.
“Who pissed in your cereal?”
“Someone get him out of here before I put him six feet under,” Tucker throws out and Scott sneers at me as he puts an arm around Aeron and leads him away. I still haven’t got a clue what just happened or if I’m allowed to go and take a seat somewhere else when Maddox stands up and comes closer.
“Go and find a table somewhere else, you don’t want to be here,” he says with kind eyes and it’s all I can do to not thank him for this act of kindness before I walk away and try to forget about the look on Tucker’s face as he dealt the blows or the way it affected me to watch it happen. Nope, not going to think about it… ever.
I’m sitting in my business class when Maddox walks in and claims the seat beside me, I still won’t thank him and I know he isn’t expecting me too.
“Does it still hurt?” he asks, indicating my arm and I rub at the bandage, trying to stop the itching that has suddenly occurred.
“Not as bad as it did, but too much pressure can cause it to act up a bit. I have got a sling for it, but I wasn’t expecting anyone to grab my arm today,” I give a half smile as though everything is peachy but he doesn’t return it.
“Aeron doesn’t mean to be such an ass, he’s always like this when he gets back.”
“I didn’t realize he’d left,” I say carelessly and his laugh is like music, so carefree but even he looks surprised by the fact he just did it.
“Yeah, he got back last night. He was only gone a week this time but it doesn’t matter, a day, a week or month it’s all the same. I’m not trying to make excuses for him but he’d never hurt you on purpose,” why does he want me to see the good in Aeron so badly?
“It’s fine, you don’t need to convince me of anything.”
“You’re wrong, but you’re not ready to see it yet,” is all he says in response and I haven’t got a clue what he’s talking about.
Class starts not long after his weird words and it feels good to be back here, which reminds me.
“Thank you for leaving my work for me,” I say to the tutor and her soft eyes crinkles around the corners.
“Your welcome Thirty-Four, but you should be thanking your neighbor over there. He took them after every lesson for you,” she replies and I look over to see Maddox turning bright red. I mouth “thank you” to him and he waves his hand before burying his head in the textbook.
We get halfway through this time before my number is called and I look up at the door to see Tucker standing there, his eyes narrowed on me and I want to refuse him. Yet, I pack up my things and make my way to the door and follow on behind, like a good little sheep. I wonder if he’s leading me to the slaughter?
He says nothing as we leave the building and step out into the gardens, he keeps on walking and doesn’t stop until we get to the entrance of the maze.
“Stick close, it’s called a maze for a reason,” and with that he steps inside and I make sure to stay as close as I can.
I know better than to question him about why he called me out of class again or why he has brought me to the maze but the silence between us is deafening. Although if I could ask him anything it wouldn’t be either of those it would be, what made you attack Aeron? And did it make you feel any better?
We move deeper and deeper until he comes to a halt and I watch as his back grows taut before he turns around to face me, he looks at me with something that I can’t explain and it makes me take a step back.
He steps closer and we don’t stop moving until I’m up against the maze wall and his chest is brushing against mine. He leans his head down until his mouth is against my ear and I can feel his lips with every word he utters.
“I know you’re good at keeping a secret Tiny One, so make sure you keep this to yourself, no one can know.”
I inhale hard at the shiver, his lips against my ear elicits in me and he jerks back, his eyes darkening as his pupils dilate. His chest is still against my own and I don’t know if it’s my heartbeat that I’m feeling or his.
“Fuck,” he growls before his lips descend on mine, except he bypasses my mouth and instead goes for my neck. Sucking and biting, the intensity of it causes my eyes to roll up into the back of my head, before he pulls away and gives me the dirtiest, fuck you look I’ve ever seen.
He grips my shoulder and pulls me away from the maze wall before pushing me into the middle of the maze and my eyes widen when they fall on Aeron and his red-rimmed eyes.
I step closer without even realizing and his head shoots up to mine, before he looks back at the ground. I am beyond confused right now, why would Tucker bring me here?
“Aeron…”
He jumps to his feet and strides over to me, before stopping abruptly and taking a few steps back and I’m just standing here. Waiting to find out what the fuck I’m supposed or even expected to do.
“Little Zero, did I hurt you?” his voice sounds so haunted, and it guts me enough that I start walking forward. His eyes widen in what I’m guessing is alarm, until I’m standing within arms reach.
“Yeah you did, why?”
“I’m sorry Little Zero, I wasn’t thinking. I was so off my head, I didn’t even realize I had gripped your bad arm,” the thi
ng is, I don’t want his excuses.
“If you want my forgiveness, you’ll have to order it or stop feeding me excuses from your hand,” I say and even I’m shocked by what just came out of my mouth. I shouldn’t be this self assured, the lines are getting blurred and I’m beyond making sense of it anymore.
“Look, my family is messed up and a few of them really know how to fuck with my head. I turn into an asshole for a little while until I can put it behind me. Hence why I’ve been nothing short of cruel towards you since you got a real number. It doesn’t help that I’m not allowed anywhere near you,” his eyes grow brighter as he stares into mine and I think I should feel embarrassed that he might kiss me after what Tucker just did, but I don’t.
“Why should that matter? There’s plenty of choices here for you,” I point out and he smiles slightly as he lowers his face to the crook of my neck, running his nose up the column of it as his hands rest on my hips.
“Because I’m a fucker who always wants what he can’t have, no matter who I have beneath me I keep coming back to you,” his hand trails up my side, leaving goosebumps in its wake, and he’s not even touching my bare skin.
“You came to the k-kitchen b-before he made his decree,” I point out and his lips trail across my collarbone, trailing further down until his chin is hovering over the gap between my breasts.
Why did I choose a strapless top today again? Oh yeah, it was easier. At least I know for future reference to leave it lying in my closet.
“Because it intrigued me, how he and Sir Harkwright reacted when they saw your photo and then again during the last stage. Not to mention replaying the way you reacted to the flower repeatedly in my mind, when I shower or sleep alone. Getting myself off to images of you,” his words shouldn’t excite me, should they? Because they are, so damn much. My panties are growing damp and I’m relieved for the first time that I’m wearing a skirt. “Fuck it, I’m not a gentleman, I’ve even pictured it’s your hair that is in my fist when a girl is going down on me, someone I will never recall because I’m picturing you.”
