Never Have You Ever (The Love Game Book 1)

by Elizabeth Hayley

  I rolled my eyes. “Okay, fine, I like looking at him. Can you blame me?”

  She hesitated a moment before saying, “I like Drew.”

  I reared back a little because hearing her say she liked Drew was like a smack to the face, even though I had no right to feel that way.

  Her eyes widened suddenly. “No, no, not like that. I mean I like him for you.”

  We stared at one another for a beat before I sighed. “What do you want me to do? Hook up with the guy who’s pretending to be my brother? Sure, we’ve gotten close, and I maybe wish that there could be something there, but there can’t.”

  My voice was laced with frustration because I didn’t want to get into this. Especially not in the middle of a crowded club with the subject of the conversation lingering somewhere nearby.

  Taylor opened her mouth to reply, but TJ’s return cut her off.

  “Sorry about that. You ready?” he asked me, gesturing toward the dance floor.

  I forced a smile. “Yeah. Will you be okay?” I asked Taylor.

  Nodding, she said, “I’ll go find everyone else. Just…don’t do one thing to avoid doing another.”

  The words were vague, but I got the message. I wasn’t going to heed it, but I’d heard it. Instead of replying, I followed TJ into the throng of dancers.

  When we began dancing, there was a respectable distance between us, our bodies lightly grazing when our movements were in sync enough to cause contact. But as time passed, TJ began to press closer, wrapping an arm around my back to pull me toward him as he ground against me. I shifted back a bit, but his grip on me didn’t let me get far.

  A red flag went up, but I dismissed it because I’d danced more provocatively in my own sorority house on a Thursday night. The talk with Taylor was clearly throwing me off my game. So I gave into the beat of the music and let my body run the show.

  Until a rigid part of his body pressed into my stomach. Instead of shifting away, he ground into me harder, his lips moving to trail kisses down my neck. The red flag had become a flare gun.

  If circumstances had been different, I might have basked in the attention. But as it was, this felt all kinds of wrong for a whole host of reasons—the principal one among them being Drew. The frantically waving student in my head wasn’t raising her hand anymore. She was sitting smugly at her desk, knowing it was about damn time I acknowledged the truth.

  I liked Drew. And whether we could act on it or not was irrelevant because the feelings remained. Which meant I needed to extricate myself from the Hoover attached to my neck.

  I managed to work both hands between us and shimmy them to his shoulders so I could apply enough pressure to push him away. But the move only caused him to wrap me up tighter, his body pressed up against mine so firmly, I doubted there was a shred of space separating us.

  “I’m going to go find my friends,” I said loudly into his ear.

  “Mmm, later,” he said before sucking my earlobe into his mouth.

  “No, right now,” I said, using my forearms to shove him back more firmly. He went, but as I whirled around to walk away from him, I felt his hand latch on to my forearm, tugging me back toward him.

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  I squirmed as I tried to free my arm from his grasp. “Let go,” I ordered.

  “Or what?”

  I glanced around. There were some people watching our exchange, but no one made a move to intervene. And everyone else was so caught up in their own experience, they didn’t even notice.

  “TJ,” I ordered. “Let. Go.”

  He smiled, but it wasn’t the charming one from before. There was a hint of the predator in this one.

  “No.” He yanked me back so that my body was flush against his again.

  The move startled me, so I didn’t react immediately. Just as my brain had come back online and told me to kick this asshole in the balls, he was wrenched away from me, and then Drew’s big body stepped around him in order to block him from me.

  “What the fuck?” I heard TJ yell.

  I moved closer to Drew’s back, wishing I could burrow into him. Even though the situation was still precarious, there was a sense of calm that washed through me with Drew close by. He’d keep me safe—there wasn’t an ounce of me that doubted it.

  “Time for you to go,” Drew said, his voice harsh and steady. Usually Drew’s voice was like warm honey, but now it sounded like a block of ice: cold and unbending.

  I heard TJ laugh over the music and knew that he’d moved closer to Drew. “Oh yeah? You gonna make me, tough guy?”

  The thought of Drew getting into a fight because of me scared me even more than what had happened when I’d been dancing with TJ. I fisted my hands in the back of Drew’s shirt, afraid that if I didn’t hang on to him, we’d get separated.

  “You really wanna do this?” Drew asked as he took a step forward, pulling me along with him. “Because I don’t have a hell of a lot to lose. Can the same be said for you?” Drew’s tone was scarily calm, a hint of danger underneath. It was the sound of someone who knew how to handle himself and was likely not someone to trifle with.

  TJ must have sensed the same thing, because when I released Drew’s shirt so I could peek through the gap between Drew’s arm and his ribs, I saw TJ take a step back.

  “Whatever, man. I’m just looking to get laid. And she’s not hot enough to be worth the drama.”

  I felt Drew’s body tense. He took a step toward TJ, but I grabbed at his shirt again and he stopped immediately.

  TJ walked away smirking, and Drew stood in front of me until he was out of sight. Then he turned and put his arms gently on my biceps.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, the smooth honey back in his voice, though it was sprinkled with concern. His thumbs rubbed soothing circles on my skin as he looked me over.

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” My voice was shaky. I looked around. “Where’s everybody else?”

  “They went downstairs a little bit ago. Too crowded at the bar up here.”

  I looked up into his eyes. “You didn’t go?”

  He shook his head.

  Our gazes stayed locked on each other’s, as if we were trying to see all the things neither of us was comfortable saying.

  “Why?” I asked.

  He took a deep breath and then released it harshly. “I promised Taylor I’d keep an eye on you.”

  I felt my body sag with disappointment. I looked down at the floor. “Oh. Yeah, she’s good like that.”

  Drew released my arms, and I glanced back at him.

  He dragged a hand through his hair. “We should probably get the hell out of here.”

  “Yeah.” I began walking, knowing he was close behind me, the sensation still comforting even though he hadn’t said what I’d wanted to hear.

  Once we were off the dance floor, in a spot that was slightly quieter as we neared the steps that would lead us downstairs, he called my name.

  I turned to find him looking tense as hell, his hands fisted at his sides.

  “What?” I asked, wondering if he saw TJ lurking around somewhere. The thought caused me to instinctively step closer to Drew, seeking the safety of his proximity.

  I didn’t realize how close I’d gotten until his arms wrapped around my shoulders, and I sagged into the hug he was giving me.

  His cheek grazed my ear as he said, “I didn’t…I didn’t like seeing his hands on you. So…so I stayed. Not because Taylor asked me to but because I just…I had to.”

  I squeezed him tighter, not entirely sure what his words meant—if it was a brotherly protectiveness or a romantic possessiveness behind them—but right now, I didn’t care. I’d needed him, and he’d been there, just like he’d been since we’d met.

  There’d be time to figure everything else out later.

  Chapter Nineteen

  S O P H I A

  On the way out of the bar, Drew stopped to let the rest of our group know we were headed out. I figured Ta
ylor would want to hang there for a while, but when I saw the state she was in, I didn’t plan on giving her much of a choice.

  She’d either had about five too many drinks while I was upstairs, or someone had laced one with a drug that made her giggle uncontrollably while trying to speak in a fictional language she insisted was real.

  “You’re coming with us,” I told her.

  “Ratcha Borey Unosis,” she replied.

  “I’m assuming that means you’d love to accompany us home.”

  “It means ‘Why you leavin’?’” she slurred from her seat at the bar.

  Drew looked to Carter, who stood behind her like he was the Alpha and a member of his pack had gone astray. “How much did she have to drink?”

  Carter shrugged but seemed more concerned than he’d been when we’d come over.

  “I wasn’t counting,” he said. “I was busy trying to convince that blonde over there to be my plus one to Aamee’s party.”

  I squeezed my forehead before running a hand down the side of my face in frustration. Fucking Carter. I wrapped an arm around Taylor’s chest and gave her a hug.

  “Come on. Time to call it a night.”

  “Bachsa orpham!” she snapped, pushing my hand off her but standing with some help from Drew. She was a mess, and I knew there was little chance she’d remember any of this tomorrow. I’d have to film it.

  Since Taylor was in such rough shape, Drew called for an Uber to take us the few blocks home, and he helped her up the stairs and into bed.

  “She’s sleeping,” he said when he came out of my room. “I took her shoes off, but you might wanna take her jacket or jeans off so she’s more comfortable.”

  I nodded, unsure of whether to go deal with Taylor or stay with Drew. The latter definitely seemed more appealing, but the friend in me overruled that urge.

  “I guess I’ll go make sure she’s okay and then get ready for bed,” I said.

  We were standing a few feet apart, and I wanted to close the distance completely, wanted to be as close to him as possible. Even closer than when I’d been wrapped around him at the club. But things felt different back in the apartment. In the darkness of the club, we’d been honest. Vulnerable even. But in the apartment, the spell was broken, and I had no idea how to get it back.

  The harsh lights in the living room shone around us, and I suddenly wished we could go back to the darkness of the club, where we were just two souls who could count on each other instead of two people who needed something from each other.

  “You going to sleep soon?” I asked.

  Drew looked at the couch for a second before turning his attention back to me. “I’m going to try, though I’m kind of wired.”

  “Yeah. It was a crazy night.”

  “That’s one way to describe it.”

  We stood there awkwardly for a second, both of us fidgeting restlessly, before I decided to put us out of our misery. “I guess I’ll go check on Taylor.”

  He nodded, and I flashed him a small smile before hightailing it to my room. Once I was inside the bedroom, I closed the door behind me and sank back against it. My brain was a jumble of emotions, and I wasn’t sure how I was ever going to parse through any of them.

  The night had been intense. What I needed to do was go to bed and think about all this shit when I had a clearer head. Nothing good would come out of obsessing over things tonight.

  I moved away from the door, did the best I could to make Taylor comfortable, and then got myself ready for bed. All that was left was to go into the bathroom so I could wash my face and brush my teeth.

  When I reached the bedroom door, I leaned forward and rested my head against it. Closing the door had been like sealing Drew off—separating him from me figuratively as well as physically. Opening it felt…overwhelming.

  This was ridiculous. I’d go out there, use the bathroom, and then go right to bed. I’d wake up tomorrow ready to move forward and forget all about tonight. My hand gripped the doorknob and turned.

  As soon as I was out in the hall, my chest grew heavy, as if I were harboring thousands of butterflies in there. It was then that I wondered how I was supposed to move forward when every fiber of my being wanted to rewind to an hour ago when I’d been in Drew’s arms.

  D R E W

  When Sophia had gone into the bedroom, I’d plopped down on the couch with my head in my hands. The night had been draining, but it had somehow been energizing too. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to sleep for days or scale a building. It probably didn’t help that my body was used to being up late on Saturdays because of work.

  I told myself to get up and get ready for bed, but I still hadn’t moved when I heard the bedroom door creak open and another one close. Sophia was probably using the bathroom. I promised myself I’d get my ass in there as soon as she was done. But then I heard feet padding softly down the hall, which caused me to look up.

  She was standing just inside the room in a black tank top and white-and-black striped sleep shorts. Sophia all dolled up to go out was a sight, but there was something infinitely more appealing about her when she was comfortable and unguarded like this.

  Sometimes I felt like she used her clothes and makeup and countless products as a kind of shield that accompanied the persona she projected to people on campus. But like this, she was sweet, a little shy, and absolutely breathtaking.

  “You okay?” I asked, my voice a little hoarse from talking over the music all night.

  “Yeah.” She looked down as her fingers nervously danced together. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just….” She let her gaze flit up to me as she motioned over her shoulder. “Thank you. For helping me take care of Taylor.”

  “Sure. No worries.”

  She looked like she was gearing up for something, and I felt my eyes narrow as I tried to figure out what was wrong and how I could help her. Was she still worried about the guy in the bar? I’d kill that fucker if he ever came near her again. I was just about to say something to that effect, when she looked up from her hands and locked eyes with me.

  “Thank you for taking care of me too.”

  The words were soft, but I heard the way her voice wobbled on the last word.

  I was on my feet before the first tear fell, darting over to her so I could sweep her up into my arms. “You don’t ever have to thank me for that.” I rested my cheek on top of her head.

  “I do,” she said after sniffling. “I should honestly say it every hour on the hour.”

  “Promises, promises,” I mumbled, causing her to giggle, though it sounded wet.

  She clung to me for another few seconds before drawing back and wiping her hand over her face. “God, crying all over you is not the way I wanted to show my gratitude.”

  “It’s fine. I needed a shower anyway.”

  She laughed again as she playfully smacked me in the chest. “You’re gross.”

  I smiled down at her as I tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. But as our eyes stayed locked on one another’s, the smiles slid off our faces.

  “That guy tonight…” I trailed off because I wasn’t sure how to say what I wanted to without scaring her. My attitude toward that asshole wasn’t exactly conciliatory.

  “TJ,” she supplied, maybe thinking I was searching for an identifier. Dickhead was a good enough one for me.

  “TJ?” I asked, my voice relaying my disgust. “What the hell kind of name is that for a grown man?”

  She looked confused by what I’d said but also amused. “A normal one?”

  “No way. I’ve never met an adult TJ.”

  She shrugged. “I’d never met an adult Drew, but…” She gestured to me instead of finishing her sentence.

  “Drew is a very mature and manly name.” My face was serious, but inside I was lighting up. I loved bantering with her like this, and I liked it even more that we could get back to this place after the crazy evening.

  “Totally. Like Nancy Drew. Very manly.”

  “You did n
ot just say that.”

  “If the teen mystery fits.”

  I looked at her quizzically. “I’m not sure what that means.”

  She shrugged. “Me neither. It’s all that popped into my mind, so I went with it.”

  We laughed again, and it was looser than it was before—more genuine, like the more we did it, the more we meant it.

  I didn’t want to lose the lightness we’d managed to uncover, but I also wanted to get back to the point I’d been trying to make.

  “That guy—TJ.” I said his name like he was a pretentious toddler. “I wanted to plant my fist in his mouth.” That maybe hadn’t come out as tactfully as I’d intended, but it was the truth.

  Her face softened as if I’d just complimented her skin-care regimen. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

  “I’m…less glad. But I’m telling you this because… Jesus, this is hard to say the right way. I didn’t only want to hit him when he wouldn’t let you go.”

  “You didn’t?” She looked thoroughly confused, and I inwardly cursed myself for not being better with words.

  “No. I wanted to hit him from the beginning.”

  “The beginning of the night? You saw him earlier?”

  I shook my head, getting frustrated with myself and a little with her. Why couldn’t she be a mind reader so I didn’t have to verbalize all of this?

  “I wanted to hit him as soon as he approached you. As soon as he bought you the drink and started flirting with you. And definitely when he started dancing with you. And then I felt like shit, because there I was, wishing the guy would give me a reason to get between the two of you, and then he did. I’m so sorry. Having someone hurt you…I’d never want that. But at the same time, I feel like I almost willed it to happen.”

  “So you, what…think you can control situations with your mind now?” Her lips twitched like she was fighting a smile, and my entire body sighed in relief that she didn’t hate me. “And people call Aamee a narcissist.”

  I straightened in mock outrage. “Hey now. No need to be hurtful. I said I was sorry.”

  She smiled then and took a step closer to me. “You were watching me? The whole time?”