Never Have You Ever (The Love Game Book 1)

by Elizabeth Hayley

  I ignored his comment, hoping that if I sped up, he’d finally realize I absolutely did not want to talk about this. It was bad enough I’d been hit on four times since Friday night. Two guys, two girls. Evidently the jury was still out on my sexual orientation.

  “Okay, maybe that was a little too far,” he said.

  “You think?” I wondered when the novelty of all this would wear off. At some point, the student population would have something else that captured their attention, and Sophia and I would drift into the backs of their minds until they forgot about it completely. Or at least I hoped so.

  How long did we have to wait until someone got a video of Brenden Willis letting his dog blow him? Everyone knew Dr. Hayes’s TA put peanut butter on that shit and let his corgi have an afternoon snack when no one was looking.

  “You know that was Taylor, right?” I said. If someone who was supposed to be my buddy didn’t believe it, there wasn’t a chance in hell any of these other people did.

  “I don’t know, dude. I wanna believe it, but it looked a lot like Sophia.”

  “It was dark.” We’d used the excuse every time anyone mentioned it because it was all we had.

  Carter let out a sigh that sounded too serious to have come from him, and then he said, “I’ve known Sophia for two years. I’ve seen her in different light, wearing different clothes, with makeup and without.” He shrugged. “Looked like her to me. And listen, whatever you guys are into isn’t really for me to judge. I wish you’d both just tell me the truth about it.”

  “I’m telling you the truth. I would never have an intimate relationship with my sister.” At least I was being honest about that.

  It was easy to tell when Carter was thinking hard about something. He was like a cartoon character with a thought bubble that he looked to for suggestions of what to say. He was quiet for a few seconds. “Okay, then kiss me.”

  “I’m sorry, what the fuck did you just say?”

  “Kiss me.”

  “I’m not gonna keep kissing people to show that I didn’t kiss my sister. That proves even less than kissing Taylor did.”

  “It proves you’re gay. Or bi, or whatever you claim you are. Or were. And then I’ll at least know you weren’t pretending to be gay so you could sleep with your sister without worrying about other girls hitting on you.”

  “That theory makes no sense.”

  “Makes sense to me. Now kiss me.” He said it loud enough that people passing by probably heard him, but he didn’t seem to care.

  “You want me to kiss you in the middle of our college campus with people all around?”

  “Sure, why not?”

  “Because it’s weird, that’s why.” What the fuck was wrong with this guy? What heterosexual male athlete in their early twenties would be comfortable kissing another man, let alone in the presence of others?

  “Maybe a little for me, but not for you. Unless you’re totally straight. Then we’d just be two dudes putting our mouths on each other for no reason.”

  “We’re that either way!”

  I struggled with the reality that I might actually have to kiss another guy. Though there were worse things, I supposed. Like having someone you consider your good friend think you made out with your sister.

  I breathed in deeply, and without making eye contact, I asked, “Tongue?”

  I was sure he’d say no.

  “Whatever you feel like.”

  Carter looked like he was preparing himself to face a firing squad and wanted to die with honor. He seemed composed and eerily calm considering what was about to happen. Though maybe he was trying to call my bluff and was banking on me backing out.

  But I wouldn’t back out. If kissing Carter to prove I was bi would make him believe that the girl I’d kissed wasn’t Sophia, then the few seconds with my lips on his would be worth it. Carter would, no doubt, speak on our behalf, and he had influence over others. Girls wanted to be with him, and guys wanted to be him.

  “Okay,” I said. “You’re sure about this?”

  Carter glued his eyes shut. “Just do it.”

  Not wanting to witness what was about to happen, I closed my eyes too. But as I inched closer to his face, having my eyes shut made the action feel more intimate. So I opened them wide.

  My lips paused just before they reached his, and I was sure the two of us looked like middle school kids playing spin the bottle for the first time. This would be the least hot public display of affection anyone had ever witnessed. I was sure of it.

  And as my lips finally met his, the comedy of the moment hit me. Our Poster Children for Awkward moment lasted way too long. I was hoping he’d pull away because he wasn’t expecting me to go through with it, but he didn’t move. And there we stayed, lips touching and our bodies still.

  To avoid anything below my waist touching him, I contorted myself into a position where my ass was sticking out, which only made the situation stranger.

  My arms hung loosely at my sides as I debated where to put them. Eventually, I placed them on Carter’s hips, sure that I looked like a twelve-year-old boy having his first dance with his crush.

  If only a chaperone were here to tell us to break it up, because neither of us was pulling away. This was like a fucked-up version of the game Chicken where both teams lost. One of us was going to have to do something to end this.

  A few more seconds passed…and then Carter’s lips parted unexpectedly, and the tip of his wet tongue touched my lips.

  I couldn’t have moved faster if it had been a Komodo dragon that had licked me. I quickly wiped my mouth on the sleeve of my jacket.

  “What the fuck was that?”

  Carter looked pleased with himself. “That,” he said, “was me proving you’re definitely not attracted to men and therefore are attracted to your sister.”

  It took me a minute or so, but I managed to calm myself down enough to respond. “I’m not attracted to my sister,” I said firmly.

  “It’s cool, man,” Carter replied casually. “If anyone asks what I think happened between you guys, I’ll say nothing and that I knew you and Taylor had been talkin’ for a while. I love you and Soph. Your secret’s safe with me.”

  Damn it.

  Why did this moron have to be such a good fucking friend to Sophia and to me, especially when he’d only known me less than two months? He was like a loyal goddamn mutt we’d rescued from the pound, and I was like Michael fucking Vick using him for my own agenda.

  I hoped like hell Sophia trusted Carter like I did, because what I was about to do would be pretty much unforgivable otherwise.

  “I’m glad you can keep a secret,” I said. “But that’s not the one I need you to keep.”

  S O P H I A

  It had been a day that felt longer than usual. I’d gotten up at six to go for a run, had three classes nearly back to back, and then had made some phone calls and other preparations for the bachelor auction.

  I’d been home for an hour but was still finishing up a paper that was due tomorrow. I only had to read it over. When Drew got home, we could grab something to eat and watch a movie since he didn’t have to work tonight.

  The idea of cuddling up next to Drew put a smile on my face. Things had undoubtedly been strange between us after the party, but it didn’t take us long to realize there shouldn’t have been any reason for us to feel weird around each other. It wasn’t like we were actually siblings.

  But Sunday night we’d both kind of agreed to let whatever this was play out without trying to steer it in one direction or another. Whether we had a long, leisurely drive or went a hundred miles an hour before crashing into a tree and bursting into flames remained to be seen. But we both figured we’d enjoy the ride while it lasted. We hadn’t taken things any further than we had already, but I was hoping that would change soon.

  I was shutting down my laptop when I heard the lock turn on the apartment door. I looked up to see Drew enter, his backpack already sliding off his arm.

&
nbsp; He let it drop near the door before heading over to the couch and plopping himself down next to me. His body seemed heavier than usual, and I guessed he was probably just as worn out as I was.

  “I’m glad you’re home,” I said, already snuggling against him. I moved my hand to his chest and began tracing imaginary designs over his pecs and down the center of his stomach.

  He let his head drop back against the top of the couch, and he closed his eyes gently. “I’m glad I’m home too.” He moved his fingertips over the exposed skin of my arm as I continued to rub his torso lightly.

  Both of us had goose bumps now, and I couldn’t take my eyes off Drew’s lap, where a bulge was forming inside his jeans. How long would it be before I got to touch it? Or even better…

  I’d imagined plenty of times what that would feel like alone in my room with the door shut. I’d imagined my fingers were his, and I’d brought myself over the top with such intensity, I knew the real thing would be nothing short of amazing.

  I’m not sure when my inhibitions left me, but before I could stop myself, I was kissing his neck, feeling his abs tense at my touch as I moved my hand toward that magical area, and when I reached it, I grazed my hand over it lightly.

  He flexed his hips up and stifled a groan.

  I loved seeing him like this, all vulnerable and needy. And I was just as turned on.

  When he moved his fingers to the waistband of my thin cotton joggers and tugged them down enough to let his fingertips flutter over the sensitive skin just above the edge of my thong, I wanted to beg him for more. I needed him to rid me of the emptiness.

  We roamed our hands over each other’s bodies enough to thoroughly turn each other on but not nearly enough to push us over the edge. It was some sort of sexual game that I simultaneously loved and hated.

  When I couldn’t take it anymore, I moved to straddle him, letting my weight settle directly on his lap where he was straining against his pants.

  As I moved over him, he worked his hands over my hips to create a rhythm that worked for both of us, I knew this would get me there. I’d want more eventually, but for right now, this was enough.

  Wrapped up in this new sensation between us, neither of us said anything. We were all heavy breaths and low moans.

  I nestled my head into the crook of his neck as I felt myself climb steadily toward what I hoped would be the most satisfying orgasm I’d had in a long time.

  But I didn’t quite get there before Drew held me in place. I tried to squirm, feeling the female version of blue balls start to creep up on me.

  “I gotta tell you something,” he said.

  It sounded serious, but so was my need, which felt more urgent than whatever Drew was going to talk about.

  “Can we talk after we finish?” I hadn’t been that forward with a guy before, but Drew was different. Living together had forced us to get closer than we would have otherwise. The emotional connection was there. We were only missing the physical. And God, was I missing it.

  “I’m not sure you’ll want anything to do with me after I tell you this.”

  The seriousness of his voice had me climbing off him and settling in on the couch for whatever it was he had to tell me.

  Drew sat up taller, rubbing his hands over his thighs nervously before finally looking at me.

  “Just come out with it,” I said.

  A few more seconds passed, and I wondered what it was that was such a big deal he had to tell me at such an inconvenient time but also couldn’t bear to reveal it. I honestly couldn’t come up with anything.

  “I told Carter.”

  “Told Carter what?”

  “About us,” he answered quickly.

  Did he mean what I thought he meant? His expression said yes, but I prayed he must’ve meant something else because why the hell would Drew tell anyone that we aren’t siblings? That meant he wasn’t who he said he was either. It was detrimental to both of our goals.

  “What about us exactly?”

  “That we have a thing going on.” He gestured between us. “Whatever this is. And that you’re not my sister. I’m not Brody Mason. Everything.”

  He looked like he was physically afraid of what I might do to him after he said it. His expression made me more conscious of my own, because while there was absolutely some anger in every bone of my body right now, the predominant emotion I felt was disappointment. At what, I wasn’t exactly certain.

  Sure, I was disappointed that our secret was out, and if Carter leaked it to anyone, it would jeopardize any chance I’d have at becoming president, but Drew’s big mouth also meant it wouldn’t be long before his college boy gig was up.

  Brody would have to come back to the States—my parents would hire an international hitman if he didn’t—and they’d probably force me to move back home and attend a college I could easily commute to. And that was how Drew’s and my journey would end—crash and burn it would be.

  Maybe that was the crux of my emotion. I knew this thing with Drew had a shelf life, but I didn’t think it would expire before we’d even gotten a chance to taste it.

  “I’m sorry, Soph,” he said quietly. “He seemed sure that it was us kissing that night.”

  “But he didn’t know it was us. The only other person who knew for sure was Taylor.”

  “I know I fucked up, but I felt bad lying to him. Carter’s been a good friend, and I started to feel guilty—”

  “Do you feel better now?” We both knew what his answer was going to be, so I didn’t wait for him to respond. “Ugh, this is so messed up.” Rubbing my hands over my face, I tried to think of the best possible outcome. I’d already considered the worst.

  But maybe Carter wouldn’t tell anyone. I didn’t think he would share what he learned intentionally with anyone, but it was Carter, for Christ’s sake. He wasn’t exactly the most cautious person I’d ever met. And this was college. He’d get drunk and tell one person he trusted or slip up and tell a roomful of people without thinking.

  And now I was back to thinking the worst.

  “There’s no way Carter can keep this secret. He’s going to tell someone. It’s just a matter of when.”

  I hoped it would at least be after the auction when I’d had a chance to prove my ability as sorority president and Drew had an opportunity to finish out the semester.

  “I don’t know. He swore he wouldn’t. I trust him.”

  “It’s not that I don’t trust him. But it’s Carter,” I said, as if that were an explanation in and of itself. It really should’ve been. “He’s so impulsive. There’s no telling what he’ll do.”

  Shaking his head, Drew barked out a sharp laugh. “You’re right about that. I definitely didn’t expect him to kiss me in front of the library earlier.”

  What the… “I’m sorry?” I said, my attention shifting from one subject to a much more interesting one. “Carter kissed you? Like kissed you kissed you?”

  Drew nodded slowly, like the memory of it caused him some sort of lasting trauma. “If we’re being technical, I actually kissed him.”

  “Can you rewind to the beginning, please?” I tried to picture a scenario where two completely straight men just decided to kiss each other in public, and I was stuck for ideas.

  Drew settled back against the couch and put his feet on the coffee table. I envied how relaxed he seemed, all things considered. But then, he’d had time to process everything hours ago, and I was just hearing about all of it now.

  “Carter came up to me and was teasing me about the good old days when no one knew I liked to make out with my sister. Then he started telling me that I was pretending to be gay so no girls hit on me.”

  “So you kissed him to prove otherwise?”

  “Well, I didn’t just do it. He kind of asked me to. It was like a dare, I guess.” Drew’s face transformed into a sort of unexpected pride. “I’m sure he thought I’d chicken out and he wouldn’t have to kiss me.”

  “Soooo you kissed him to prove you we
ren’t lying about being gay, but then you told him the truth about everything anyway?”

  “When you say it like that, it sounds crazy.”

  “That’s because it is crazy. And so are you and Carter. Jesus, what did he do when you kissed him?”

  “Nothing really. We both kind of just stood there with our lips on each other.” He shivered as he thought about it. “Eventually he slipped me the tongue, and I freaked out, which I’m sure was his plan. That convinced him even further that me being gay was a sham, and I couldn’t have him thinking I had a sister-fetish, so I just came clean.

  “Of course, as soon as I did, he shouted that he knew it and applauded me for holding out so long despite his teasing me. Turns out he didn’t think I was actually making out with my sister, but he definitely thought I was making out with you. He’s brighter than he looks.”

  “So you kissed a guy for nothing?”

  “Basically,” he answered, smiling. And I couldn’t help but smile too when he said, “Would it help if I said you’re a way better kisser than Carter?”

  “A little.” I wanted to hang on to my irritation, but my arousal from earlier was still thrumming through my body, and this was Drew. Staying angry at him was like staying angry at a puppy who just ate your flip-flop. “But it would help more if you reminded me what a good kisser you are.”

  So he did.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  S O P H I A

  Volunteering at an animal shelter always sounded like a great idea. It conjured up images of frolicking around with cute puppies who smothered your face with kisses. The reality was far less glamorous.

  “Why do we do this every year?” Gina asked. “It’s always a disaster.”

  I had no adequate response as I rinsed the soap out of the coat of the terrier I’d been assigned to clean. Evidently Bethany and Emma didn’t either, since they also stayed silent. The dog looked at me for a second, and I would’ve sworn he smirked at me.