Claiming Her Innocence: Alpha Ever After (Book 1)

by Kelli Walker

  I know that it is ridiculous that I should even be giving it this much thought. I mean, it’s my life, it’s my body, it’s my time, and I get to decide how to use it, right? But I know that’s not how it works for him. That’s never how it’s worked for him. He has always told me that he knows men too well to trust them around me. I am sure that he would spend every moment of his time trying to convince me to quit if he caught wind of the fact that I had been even thinking about working here.

  I don’t even know if he really understands how much this place has changed since Lux’s father was running it. That was the last time that Gavin really spent time in this place, after all, when it was a hangout for the three of us, when it was just a regular old-man bar with nothing much else going for it. Now, if he saw the girls who work here, he might have a harder time wrapping his head around working in this place. At least, that’s what I am hoping.

  “Does he even know the kind of place this is these days?” I point out to Lux. “You think he would approve?”

  “I think he would do whatever he had to so he could support the family,” Lux replies, and I narrow my eyes at him.

  “And you think he would approve of the fact that you have me working here?” I reply. He falls silent. I know that I have made a point that he can’t deny, no matter how much he might like to.

  “You know what he would do if he found out that I have a job here,” I remind him. “You don’t want to cause that trouble, do you?”

  “I don’t want him to think that I don’t care about him,” Lux replies. Honestly, his dedication to taking care of my older brother might have been sweet, if it wasn’t for the fact that he was in the process of landing me in a whole lot of trouble as a result. I know that he just wants to help, but it’s not as though I can drop out of this place, not when I have just started to get my head around working here.

  “He’ll find a job somewhere else,” I promise him. “People like Gavin in this town, it’s not just you.”

  “And what if he doesn’t? What if I have the only place that’s willing to hire him?” Lux demands. I stare at him for a moment. I need to make my point here. I need to make sure that he understands, really understands, that this isn’t up for debate and that if he wants to fight me on this, then he’s going to have to accept that I’ll play as dirty as anyone else.

  “If you hire him,” I tell him, slowly, taking my time, picking out my words so that I don’t trip over them or get them wrong. “I’ll tell him about what happened between us.”

  Lux’s eyebrows shoot up. We haven’t discussed what happened between us since I fled his office and ran out on to the street, and I am pretty sure that he had been hoping that I was just going to forget about it. And damn it, I have been trying, but it’s not like I can just forget everything that we did together. I know that we have made a silent agreement not to bring it up again, but it’s not like I have a lot to compare it to. I can count the number of guys I’ve gone that far with on...well, on one finger, and that one finger happens to be standing right in front of me, trying to convince me to let my brother come work for him.

  “You wouldn’t,” he replies, and I raise my eyebrows at him.

  “Wouldn’t I?” I reply. “You really think I wouldn’t do that? I need this job, Lux, and I know that I’ll make more money doing it than he will. Even you have to see that. This is what’s best for the family. I’m just doing what I have to do to make sure that we get everything we need.”

  He eyes me for a moment, and I know that he is crunching the risks and rewards in his head, trying to figure out if he believes me, if he really thinks that I would go through with this. I meet his gaze steadily, letting him know with everything that I can that I’m not going to back down on this. And he sighs.

  “Fine,” he snaps back at me. “I won’t let him work here. But you don’t say a word to him about what happened between us, okay?”

  “Okay,” I reply. Honestly, I’m relieved that I’m not going to have to admit to my brother what happened between Lux and me. I know that he would be furious; he is protective enough of me at the best of times, but I’m sure that knowing his best friend tried to take a piece of me would be enough to push him over the edge.

  And, with that, I walk out of the bar and turn my attention back to what matters—proving that I am the best person for this job and that my damn brother shouldn’t come in and steal it right out from under me.

  I have my eye on the door the whole night, making sure that Gavin doesn’t come in and bust me working here. I have dressed a little more conservatively tonight, plausible deniability in case he does choose to stop by, but I’m just hoping that he doesn’t make me lie to his face.

  Lux doesn’t emerge from the office the whole night, and I have to admit, I’m missing his eyes on me. He always seems to know just what to do, just what to say, to make sure that none of the guys go any further than they know that they should, and I could use a little of that energy in my life right now.

  By the time that my shift is over and I’m ready to head home, I still haven’t seen Lux, and I wonder if he is mad at me. After all, I did just throw back in his face the one thing that I know I should keep to myself.

  I feel a little guilty for that, really, I do, for bringing that up once more and making him consider what I had skipped out on. But, more than anything, I am distinctly aware of that need for him burning in the back of my brain. I have been able to push that kiss down for as long as it has taken me to convince myself to forget it, but now that it is back, I can’t help but crave his touch once more. Crave the feel of his mouth on mine, crave the way he touches me like he wants to own me, crave every inch of it...

  I share a cab with Jada on the way home, and we chat about her boyfriend troubles; she talks quickly, as though she can’t wait to get all of it off her chest. I listen with a smile on my face and try to keep myself steady. Because all I can think about right now is the man who locked himself up in his office all night long. And just how long I am going to have to try and quell that rising desire for him.

  Lux

  I pace back and forth in the office, trying to burn off some of the excess energy that feels as though it is shooting out to her, her, her.

  Vanessa is working tonight, which means that I am hiding out in my office, trying to pretend that I am not thinking about her at all. But, in truth, she’s the only thing on my mind. Even though I know that I should be focused on keeping the secret that she has threatened to expose.

  I still don’t know if she’s said a word to her brother about what happened between us. Honestly, I’m pretty sure that I would know about it if she had. I couldn’t imagine that he would exactly hold back from turning up here and giving me a damn piece of his mind if he saw fit. Gavin has never been the kind of guy who holds back, and when it comes to his sister, I would say that goes double.

  She can keep her job. That’s all that I have taken from our encounters. She can keep her job because the thought of Gavin finding out about what happened and just how much I want his sister is enough to make me feel a little ill. I might have been in the Marines, but he is still a part of them, and I don’t fancy my chances if it came down to a fight between the two of us.

  But that doesn’t mean that it’s any easier to stop thinking about her. Something about the way she talked about what had gone down between us had...well, it made me want nothing more than to go down on her for real. To do everything that she wants me to. There isn’t a thing on this earth that I would have said no to when it comes to her, and if she figures that out, then I am in some serious trouble.

  It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way about a woman. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I haven’t felt this way since I was in high school, back when sex and intimacy felt so urgent that you were sure you would explode if you didn’t get it sometime soon. I have been with plenty of women between then and now, but something about her is pulling me back to that time in my life, and I know that it’s a danger
ous headspace for me to be in. A dangerous power for her to have over me.

  “But what about the job, dude?” Gavin asked me when I called him up to let him know that I can’t hire him.

  “It’s just not a good time right now,” I replied awkwardly. “We have as many bartenders as we need. But I’ll let you know if something changes, okay?”

  “Yeah, sure, you do that,” he agreed, and, though he was playing it tough, I could tell that it bothered him.

  And why wouldn’t it? I am meant to have his back. I am meant to cover for him when he needs it, and here I am, pushing him away, leaving him out of a job when I know that all he wants is to serve. When you leave the service, it feels as though you’re itchy for something to do, and he’s doing the right thing trying to fill his time. He must be totally confused as to why I won’t help him.

  But I can’t. I’m caught between the two of them, and I know that I don’t want to cause any more trouble in the Meyers family than I already have. I have given one of them a job, that’s all that matters. I am doing what I can. Even if I can’t tell one of them just what I am doing.

  I have been trying to avoid the floor when I know that Vanessa is working. I just don’t want to think about her if I can avoid it. Because every time she crosses my mind, I find it straying to places that are totally not appropriate for someone who is supposed to be working for me. I know that I need to stay focused on what matters here: on keeping the bar up and running for the time being, and not on how much I would love to get her into bed.

  I can’t help but wonder, has she ever been with anyone before? I know in high school, the guys practically avoided her. Not because she wasn’t hot as hell, but because they knew that her brother and I would have kicked their asses if we caught wind of anyone trying to get a piece of her. But has that extended into her adult life? She sure as hell isn’t involved with anyone now, judging by how eager she was to enjoy that make-out session with me in the office a week or so before, and I doubt that any boyfriend would have been too happy with the thought of her working in a place like this. I know that I sure as hell wouldn’t be.

  But does that mean that she is still...a virgin? It’s none of my business, but it intrigues me. The thought of someone like her, who carries herself with such confidence and is so cool, having a missing link in her adult life experience… Maybe that would explain why she made a run for it when things started straying below the waist when we were back in my office. Maybe she was worried about making a fool of herself or something.

  Not that I would mind. I have never been with a virgin before, and I’d be lying if I said that the thought of it didn’t turn me on. Someone giving themselves to me for the first time. Someone choosing to share something so perfect, so private, so intimate...

  And the thought of that person being Vanessa, being her, is just the cherry on top of the frosting.

  I head to the door of the office and look over to her at the bar. I doubt she even notices me standing there. She is so busy serving the regulars that she hardly has time to look up from the desk. She is chatting to one of the older guys there, and he is gazing at her with total adoration. I would feel a little jealous if I was a less rational man. But lucky for me, I can keep it where it needs to be as long as she is working for me. Lucky for me, I’m the most rational man that I know.

  She glances over in my direction as she comes down the other end of the bar, and I can’t help but notice the way her eyes light up when she locks her gaze with me. The smile is still on her face, but she lowers her eyes for a moment, as though she can hardly contain herself. She is wearing a pair of dark shorts that pop against her pale skin, make her long legs look even more lush than they usually do. Her lips are slicked with a pale pink gloss, and I can’t help but remember how good it felt when I heard a moan pass those perfect lips. I notice a couple of guys checking her out, and then realize that I am one of them.

  I quickly head back inside the office, close the door behind me, and remind myself that I need to stay focused on what matters here. And what matters is not the way that she looks; it's the work that she does for me, and nothing more. That is all that I am focused on.

  But, as I settle back down behind my desk, I can’t help but let my mind wander to those long legs. And the thought of them wrapped tight around me, the taste of her skin against my lips. And just how badly I wish that I could find a way to make that image into a reality.

  Vanessa

  I stand there, fidgeting, outside his office, trying to pull myself together and convince myself that I’m totally capable of doing what needs to be done.

  Because I am. I am! I can do this. I can make this happen, and I can be certain that I can pull this off. It’s the answer to all of our problems—to Gavin’s, to Lux’s, to mine. Everything.

  But I’m still not sure that I quite have the nerve to come out and risk it, right here and now. So, taking a long, deep breath, I try to gather myself. This is something that I need to do because I know that I’m not going to be able to move on from this place for good unless I scratch the itch that is Lux.

  I’ve been thinking about it nearly non-stop the last few days. I know that he just wants to get rid of me, to make sure that Gavin never finds out about what happened between us, or even the fact that I was working here for as long as I have been. And I can give him that. I can make sure that he gets what he wants. But first, I need to make sure that there’s something else I get out of my system, too.

  It’s not that I think there’s anything wrong with being a virgin, far from it. I know that there are a lot of guys out there who would be turned on if they knew that I had never been with anyone before. I just have to try my very best not to think about them, because the notion of someone liking how inexperienced I am just makes my stomach curdle. But I don’t want to hang on to my virginity any longer. I can’t stop thinking about what happened between Lux and me before…well, what nearly happened. What I ran out on because I had been so freaked out at the thought that he would be able to tell that I’ve never been with anyone before.

  I want to be able to just go with the flow when I feel that attraction to someone. I want to be able to experience the pleasure and the thrill and the want that comes with feeling someone really needs you. I know that I’m not going to be able to do that until I get over the hang-up of knowing that I’m a virgin, and fearing that I’m going to lose out on all of this because they can tell that I’ve never done it before.

  And Lux is the man I want to take my virginity.

  Because I know that he’s not going to go boasting about it to anyone! No, if anything, he’ll try to keep it under wraps so that my brother never finds out. I don’t have to worry about it turning into some long-distance rumor that everyone in the county knows about by the end of the week. And I already know that the two of us have some serious chemistry, that he wants me just the same way that I want him. It’s perfect.

  And now, I just have to find some way to get the nerve to actually come out and ask him.

  Before I can overthink this for another moment, the door in front of me opens, and Lux steps out, almost walking straight into me.

  “Vanessa, what are you doing here?” he asks, furrowing his brow at me. “You’re not meant to be in till later...”

  “Yeah, I know,” I say. “Do you have a minute? I need to talk to you.”

  “Of course,” he replies, and I push him back into his office. I know that the very last thing I want is for anyone else to get wind of what I’m doing here today. I’m already sure that I’m going to be busted for doing something so utterly crazy, and I just want to make sure that I don’t get exposed any further for everything I’m about to do.

  “What’s up?” he asks as soon as I close the door behind us. I take a deep breath and then tell him.

  “I want to leave my job here,” I tell him. “So that you can give it to Gavin.”

  He cocks his head at me.

  “But won’t that defeat the point?” he
replies. “You won’t be bringing in your income here, I thought you needed it—”

  “But with a decent reference from you, I’ll be able to find a job somewhere else,” I point out. “I don’t know if anyone else will be so keen to hire my brother if they have the chance, and I don’t want him to miss out on a job. We need all the money that we can get right now.”

  “I get it,” he agrees, and he nods, looking a little relieved at what I’m saying to him. I take a deep breath.

  “And there’s something else, too,” I confess. His face drops again, as though he really thought that he had just gotten away with it.

  “Which is?”

  “Which is,” I reply, and I bite my lip and look at him. Okay, now or never. He’s either going to laugh me out of this place. Or... “Lux, I want to have sex with you.”

  “What?” he splutters, and he looks around as though he’s half-expecting cameras to drop from the ceiling, revealing that this is all some crazy prank.

  “I know it sounds crazy,” I admit. “But I... I can’t stop thinking about what happened between us before. And if we’ve gone that far, and I’m already hiding it from my brother, well, I don’t see what harm there could be to going a little further, right?”

  “You don’t want that,” Lux replies, shaking his head. “You don’t want me.”

  “Yes, I do,” I reply, and he looks at me, as though surprised by the certainty of my words.

  “What?”

  “I want to sleep with you,” I continue. I feel as though my soul is about to leave my body. I’m not sure that I’m really the one saying this, but I keep talking, force myself to keep talking, knowing that all of this is everything that he needs to hear.