by R. C. Martin
“I practically what?” I inquired, needing to know. With a frown and a shake of my head, I went on to explain, “You showed up unannounced. You interrupted my day.”
Teddy huffed and more tears spilled onto her cheeks as she met my eyes. “I was there for, like, ten minutes. I wouldn’t have even shown up at all if you hadn’t—” She cut herself off and wiped at her face again. “I don’t—I don’t get it. You’ll pay for my car, but I can’t even have a few minutes of your time? I’m supposed to call you when I—”
Readjusting myself until I faced her directly, I interrupted as I argued, “What you will not do is bring shit like that to my office.”
“Shit,” she whispered, a scowl tugging at her brow. “My feelings are shit now?”
I breathed a sigh of frustration, combed my fingers through my damp hair, and tried to tamp down my mounting frustration. It was like we weren’t even speaking the same language.
“Your feelings aren’t shit. Your feelings are why I’m here. Fuck.”
It was obvious my outburst startled her. With her lips sealed shut, she merely stared at me with watery eyes.
I waved a finger between us and tried again. “This? You and me? It’s personal. It’s private. You in my office? It’s gossip.”
“So, my coworkers can know about you, but your coworkers can’t know about me?”
“I’ve been to the gallery once—”
“You’ve been to the gallery a dozen times,” she muttered with a shrug. “Just because you’re not physically there doesn’t mean you haven’t made yourself known.”
“This is different, and you know it.”
Peering down at her hands once more, she murmured, “You dismissed me. Like I was a bother instead of your girlfriend.”
“Not much different than what you did to me. I tried to do something nice and—”
“God, Judah, why can’t you see that’s not what that was?” she begged to know, her eyes glossed over in desperation. “I can take care of myself. I don’t need you to do it for me. I’m not—I’m not with you because I need you to take care of me. I’m not with you because you have—money and status and—”
“Is that what you think?” I asked with a scowl. “That I think you’re shallow? That you’re somehow after my money? Theodora, I know that woman, and she’s not you. You think I’d be here, having this conversation with you—the woman I’m calling mine—if I didn’t understand the kind of woman you are? You think I’d spend a weekend with your parents, or introduce you to one of the most important people in my life if I didn’t respect you? This had shit to do with money.”
Teddy was silent for a long moment. Only this time, with her eyes locked with mine, our conversation continued in the quiet. Then, with a sniffle, she whispered, “It’s still important to me that I pay you back.”
“Yes. You made that quite clear this afternoon.”
A couple minutes passed without either of us saying a word. I realized, in spite of all that was said, neither one of us apologized to the other. I wasn’t even sure if that was what I wanted anymore. What I wanted was to be finished arguing; to be free of the mire through which our misunderstanding forced us to trudge.
Having obviously arrived at a cease fire, I reached over and took one of her hands in mine. I wasn’t a fan of the space between us. Tugging her a little, I mumbled, “Come ‘ere.”
She peeked at me through her lashes, then used her freehand to wipe away the last of her tears before she obeyed. I guided her until she was precisely where I wanted her—her knees pressed against my sides as she sat in my lap. Bringing my hands around her backside, I held her close as I spoke tenderly.
“If I’m sorry for anything, it’s for making you cry.”
With a sigh, she leaned into me and pressed her forehead to mine.
It wasn’t exactly forgiveness, but it was all the go-ahead I needed. I reached for a kiss. When she didn’t pull away, I sought entrance into her mouth. Her arms found their way around my neck as our tongues met, and it wasn’t long before she was wholly surrendered to me. With one hand still gripping her ass, I slid my other up her spine until I was gently holding the back of her neck. Sure of my grip, I stood from the couch, and she sucked in an excited breath as I carried her to her bedroom.
“Wait,” she panted as I laid her across the bed.
“I don’t think so, sweetheart,” I said, standing to remove my sweater.
I dropped my garment to the floor as she told me, “Jude, I don’t have any condoms.”
A blush blossomed across her cheeks with the admission, and I let the truth sink in for a second. That was all the time I needed to come to the conclusion that I didn’t care. I wanted her—she was mine for the taking—precautions be damned.
Propping myself above her, I traced the tip of my nose along the length of hers. “We don’t need a condom, sweetheart.”
“But…” As if her desire for my statement to be true had robbed her of her words, her voice trailed off and her bright brown eyes searched mine intently.
“You’re off your meds, have been for more than a week. We don’t need it.” Bringing my lips to her ear, I whispered, “I want all of you. Right now.”
I felt her shudder beneath me before she reached for the hem of my t-shirt. She got it halfway off her body, and then I helped her get rid of it. By the time both of us were naked, she was ready for me, and I didn’t waste a moment. A long, indulgent groan spilled from my lips when I was fully seated. Reaching down to take hold of her waist, I forced in a breath and willed myself to keep my shit together. My bare shaft buried in her warmth felt sensational.
Teddy hitched her knees up toward my hips as she slid her hands around my sides and onto my back. Her gentle touch coupled with the wanting expression on her face was a reminder we both needed me to move. I rolled my hips slowly at first, savoring her until I lost the grip on my self-restraint. Curling my fingers into fists, I planted my hands on either side of her head and propped myself above her. Her legs fell open as I pumped in and out of her with greater speed. She whimpered in pleasure, and I thrust into her harder. The pressure of her hands, which slid down to my lower back, grew more intense, and I was sure she was right with me.
“Oh, Judah,” she sighed, digging her fingernails into my skin.
She arched her back, and the expression on her face spurred me on. I fucked her harder, not entirely cognizant of what I was chasing until she gave it to me. Her eyes staring into mine, I watched her fall over the edge into pure bliss. It was exactly the opposite of the look she’d given me upon leaving my office. Soon after her center constricted around my length, I toppled into oblivion right along with her.
Momentarily boneless, I collapsed onto my forearms above her, touching my forehead to hers. Each of us heaved for breath as Teddy wrapped me in her limbs. I could feel myself growing soft inside of her, but I rocked my hips lazily, wanting to feel the evidence of our shared climax. We were skin to skin, and she was mine.
“Jude?” Teddy whispered, her fingers tickling the back of my neck.
“Hmm?” I hummed as I took hold of one of her thighs.
“Will you stay?”
I lifted myself enough to be able to look into her eyes. I could see her hope shining back at me like a damn beacon. The last thing I wanted was to take that away from her, not after I’d just given it back.
“You going to give me shit about buying us some dinner?”
She shook her head in response, and I pressed a quick kiss to her lips.
“Then yeah, sweetheart. I’ll stay.”
Chapter Seventeen
Theodora wasn’t entirely sure what one wore to a baseball game when her wardrobe consisted of zero sports paraphernalia, so she opted to dress for the weather, instead. With October right around the corner, she knew dusk in the outdoor stadium might get chilly. Keeping this in mind, she dressed in a pair of skinny jeans, her white flannel button-up, and a navy, hooded, cargo vest. After she’d slipped h
er feet into socks and casual sneakers, she checked the time. Realizing Judah would arrive at any moment, she hurried to the bathroom in order to sweep her long, ginger tresses into a ponytail. She was tightening her handy work when a knock sounded at the door.
Before she went to answer it, she returned to her room to grab her purse and her overnight bag. When she took the time to think about it, it amazed her how quickly she and Judah had fallen into a routine that didn’t require inquiries of permission or explicit conversation. She was an exceptionally welcome beauty in his bed—and that was a reality that needed no invitation. Gone were the days when one date or one night a week in each other’s company was enough. As far as Theodora was concerned, she would never get enough.
Upon opening the door, she greeted Judah with a smile. He looked as gorgeous as always—dressed in that sophisticatedly casual way he seemed to manage with little effort. He wore a pair of designer sneakers, tapered black slacks, a fitted, cream, crew-neck sweater, and a maroon bomber jacket. He reached for her bag, kissing her as he did so, and she was reminded all over again how her man was truly a gentleman.
“Ready?” he asked when he pulled away from her.
“Yeah.”
Theodora locked up, then took his hand as they made their way down the stairs to the parking lot. She asked about his day, and his only reply was, “It’s looking up now.”
Grinning at him, she queried, “Are you prepared to answer all my annoying technical questions tonight?”
“Baseball’s not complicated, sweetheart,” he said, speaking through a smirk. “You’ll catch on. Even if you don’t, it won’t matter. The atmosphere will be enough to distract you.”
Her feet slowed before they reached his SUV. “Oh, shoot—should I have brought my camera?” she asked.
“Not tonight. It’s your first game. Just enjoy it.”
There was something in the way he spoke about their evening plans that made her giddy. Theodora bought the tickets to the game so she might be able to give him something—but she could tell already, he would be giving her even more; he would be showing her a new side of himself. She wanted that. She wanted every piece of him she could get.
Judah stowed her bag in the backseat as she climbed into the front. When he joined her, sliding into the driver’s seat, she was surprised as he tossed a baseball cap into her lap. She looked down at it and then picked it up to study it. It was a faded navy with a white bear holding a baseball bat embroidered on the front.
“Is this for…” Her jaw fell open and she laughed when she looked to Judah and found him wearing an all-black baseball cap with a C on the front. She thought back to their first date; or, rather, their first intentional date, when she learned of his love of baseball. She remembered trying to picture him in a baseball cap—but her imagination didn’t measure up to real life.
He looks so hot, she thought as she stared.
“To answer your unasked question—yes, that’s for you,” he muttered, speaking through a knowing smile. He then started the car without another word, and they were on their way.
Theodora couldn’t keep the exuberant expression off her face as she fitted her gifted hat over her hair. She snaked her ponytail through the opening at the back and murmured, “Thank you.”
“Can’t have them thinking we’re there rooting for the home team.”
“You’ve never actually told me how you became a Cubs fan. I mean, I know you went to college in Chicago—was that it?”
“No, actually. That was coincidence.”
“Okay. What’s the story?”
“Really not much of a story,” he replied with a small shrug. “My stepfather, Samuel, he’s into baseball. It’s one of the first things we ever did together, just the two of us. I was four, I think. Anyway, he took me to a game. Cubs vs. Rockies. The Rockies lost, and that’s all it took.”
“Wow. I guess first impressions mean everything.”
Chuckling, Judah reached over and rested a hand on her thigh, like he so often did.
“I think we both know that’s not true.”
Theodora hummed a laugh as she wrapped her hands around his forearm affectionately.
“Guess you’re right.” A beat of silence passed between them, and she replayed the story he’d told her about his stepfather. It was the first time he even mentioned so much as the man’s name. Theodora wondered how much more she could get out of him as they headed toward the rush-hour traffic leading to Denver. She hesitated when she remembered the last time she asked about his parents. It hadn’t been more than a week since she tried broaching the topic and he shot her down.
“Are you and Samuel…close?” she prodded gently.
“We get along.”
“And—what about—what about your father? Your biological father?”
His fingers tightened around her leg reflexively. He relaxed almost immediately before he answered, “Don’t know him. Never met him. Never want to.”
Theodora wasn’t sure how to respond. She knew his family was a subject matter he considered quite private. Even more, she’d seen him shut down at the mention of them more than once. Something told her she was treading on unsteady ground, but she wasn’t afraid.
“I’m sorry, Judah,” she said at last.
“Don’t be.”
She wanted to say more. She wanted to ask more questions, but she felt like he’d shut the door on the topic—once again. This was why it took her by surprise when he went on to say, “I’ve mentioned before I don’t want kids. He’s why.”
This time, it was Theodora who tightened her grip around his arm. “What do you mean?” she asked.
He didn’t answer her right away, but she waited patiently for his reply.
“If you’re not sure, not sure about whether or not you want to bring another life into the world, you shouldn’t do it. You can’t change your mind. And when you do—it’s the kid that suffers. I would never do that to someone. It’s cowardly and selfish.”
Hugging his arm closer, she whispered, “Did something…I don’t know. Did something happen today that made you think of that?”
Judah shook his head but then confessed, “Logan, one of my colleagues, she’s pregnant. We had a team meeting during lunch; food was catered in, and just the smell of it made her nauseous. Anyway, halfway through the meeting, her husband showed up with something she said she’s been craving lately. He and I are not fans of each other, but seeing him go out of his way like that, for a kid that’s not even born—it’s not something I’ve seen.
“I didn’t have that. Ben didn’t have that.” He grew silent for a second, then chuckled humorlessly and muttered, “I don’t even know why I’m telling you all this.”
“I’m glad you are,” Theodora replied, not missing a beat. “Knowing where you come from, the childhood you had—or didn’t have—it’s part of you.”
Neither of them spoke for a minute. Then Judah murmured, “Samuel did all right.”
Theodora couldn’t explain why Judah seemed to be in such an introspective mood, but she was smart enough to cherish it for as long as it lasted.
“When’s the last time you two went to a game?”
“It’s been years. Wrigley field, right after I graduated.”
“What about Ben?”
“He’s never gotten into baseball. He’s a basketball guy.”
For reasons she couldn’t quite pinpoint, it warmed her heart to know baseball was something Judah and Samuel could share. Even if they weren’t particularly close; even if it had been nearly a decade since they’d gone to a game together, she was glad to know he had a father figure of some sort in his corner. She couldn’t imagine what life would be like without hers.
When Judah shifted the conversation toward lighter topics, Theodora followed his lead without any sort of resistance or protest. Instead, she tucked away that moment in time, storing it in her heart for safe keeping. It took them an hour and a half to reach Coors Field. After they found and paid
for parking, they walked with the crowd toward the stadium. Immediately, Theodora was captivated by the people, the smells, and the excitement which buzzed in the air. She smiled to herself as she clung to Judah’s arm, thinking how he’d been right. The atmosphere of the place wasn’t one she could capture with her camera. She needed to feel it—taste it—smell it.
“You hungry?” Judah asked as they climbed the stairs to their appropriate seating level.
“A little,” she admitted.
“We’ll start with some peanuts, then grab some hotdogs during the game.”
She grinned up at him and teased, “That sounds so cliché.”
“When in Rome, sweetheart.”
Leaning into his side a little more, she nodded and echoed, “When in Rome. Sign me up.”
Chapter Eighteen
I assumed we wouldn’t stay the whole game. She purchased the tickets as a kind gesture—one I was sure to let her know I appreciated. Still, I felt confident, given what I knew about the woman, the game wouldn’t hold her interest all night. If I had put money on it, I would have bet she called it quits after the seventh inning stretch. Baseball can be unpredictable, and I knew a good game could leave us in our seats for extra innings.
I underestimated her.
We stayed until the end of the game—until the Cubs won in the eleventh inning. It was nearly midnight by the time we pulled into my garage. Complaining of an overly full bladder, Teddy didn’t waste a moment before she raced inside. I grabbed her weekend bag from the backseat and trailed in after her. Discarding my hat on top of my bookshelf with my keys and my wallet, I raked my fingers through my hair. I was just shrugging my way out of my jacket when Teddy rounded the partition wall.
Seeing her make her way toward me, her hat still pulled over her head, my whole body reacted. Only, it wasn’t just how fucking adorable she looked as she flashed a tired smile at me. It was the whole damn night. The way she listened when the irritations of my day spilled out of me in a way I hadn’t expected or planned. It was the way she watched the game—silently trying to figure it out before tossing a question my direction. It was her insistence that we stay when the game was tied at the end of the ninth inning. It was how much I wanted her. In spite of myself, she was still my choice. I couldn’t shake her. Even more, I didn’t want to.
