by R. C. Martin
I closed the distance between us, pressed my lips to her temple, and mumbled, “Tell me again tomorrow, sweetheart.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
“Okay. You win,” declared Geoffrey. He dropped into the chair beside Theodora, and she shifted her attention away from her book.
Frowning at him in confusion, she asked, “I’ve won? What have I won?”
“I’m a sad sack of shit who’s been hiding from the world, and it’s time I put myself out there again.”
Theodora tilted her head and eyed him knowingly. “You’re not a sad sack of shit,” she insisted. “You are an incredible human being worthy of all the love and happiness imaginable.”
“Yes, well, we’ll see what kind of happiness I can find this weekend. I’m going out Saturday. I figure, if I’m going to do it, I might as well do it with unmitigated flare.”
“Halloween?” Theodora laughed, closing her book as she turned to face him directly. “It’s in two days. Do you have a costume?”
“I’ll go as a gladiator. I’ll order it on Amazon Prime. It’ll be here tomorrow.”
“This is amazing!” Theodora gasped, her eyes wide in excitement. “Where will you go?”
“Still weighing my options. What about you? You and Judah have plans?”
“Halloween plans?” she practically scoffed. “No. Can you imagine Judah in costume?”
“Are you kidding?” Geoffrey quirked an eyebrow at her and muttered, “I could think of half a dozen costumes that would turn a few heads—including my own.”
“Name one,” demanded Theodora on a laugh.
“Tarzan.”
“He—” She stopped abruptly and frowned. “Tarzan wears a loin cloth and, like, nothing else.”
Geoffrey only stared at her in response. Sitting back in her chair, Theodora imagined what Judah might look like in a loin cloth. Her mind soon shifted to what it might be like for him to be mostly naked in a room full of people. She knew she wasn’t the only one who found the man incredibly attractive. She’d seen the way women looked at him when he was clothed and didn’t relish the idea of all eyes on the parts of her man she deemed hers and hers alone.
Shaking her head, she brought herself back into her conversation with Geoffrey. “I don’t think he’d go for that.”
“He wouldn’t? Or you wouldn’t let him?” Geoffrey teased as he stood. He didn’t give her a chance to answer. Instead, he winked and said, “Come on. Let’s close up.”
Ten minutes later, as the two of them started for their vehicles, Theodora called out, “Send me pics if you need help choosing a costume tonight.”
“You got it, Freckles.”
Grinning, she turned away from him, excited for what she hoped would be a fun night out for her Viking. While she never really got into the occasion, there was a part of her that wanted to go with him. She thought once more of Judah in a costume, and then an idea came to mind. Pulling out her phone, she found her thread of text exchanges with her sister and constructed a quick message.
Me: Do you and Ben have Halloween plans?
While she wasn’t convinced she could talk Judah into dressing up on Saturday, she thought maybe a bit of peer pressure might up her odds.
Theodora arrived at her vehicle and folded herself behind the wheel, tossing her purse into the passenger seat. Before she could sink her key into the ignition, her phone alerted her to an incoming message. Spotting it was Harper, she dropped her keys into her lap and reached for the device.
HF: I’m going out with a few of my coworkers! Want to join? Still working on Ben…
HF: Also – what are you wearing tonight?! Ben’ll be here any minute and I still can’t decide.
Theodora glanced down at her outfit in bewilderment. She had every intention of going home and changing into a pair of sweats. With Judah occupied for the evening—in Denver for work—she planned on spending her night alone researching photography blogs. Since her interactions with the photographers at the gallery’s exhibition, she felt hungry for any and all knowledge on the topic of various techniques.
Me: Maybe?! Geoff put the idea in my head, but I don’t have a costume. Also wondering if I could get Jude to come, too.
Theodora hesitated before constructing her second message, still confused by Harper’s inquiry. Finally, she simply admitted her ignorance.
Me: I don’t know what you mean about tonight…
Me: Where’s Ben taking you?
She waited a second for Harper to respond. When she didn’t see the floating dots right away, she blacked out her screen and started her Civic. Only, before she could shift into drive, her phone began to ring.
“Hello?” she answered curiously.
“What do you mean you don’t know what I mean about tonight?” asked Harper, skipping over hello. “You’re not coming?”
“Harp—what are you talking about?”
“Dinner. The charity gala? Ben’s on the board, and Judah and Eddalyn are coming. Eddalyn’s Interiors is helping to sponsor the event. I can’t believe—I can’t believe you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
Theodora’s heart sank even as she tried to make sense of what she heard. “He—he told me he was going to be in Denver tonight for work.”
“Well, kind of. I guess—but that doesn’t explain why you’re not going if I am.”
At a loss for words, Theodora shook her head and shrugged. Noting her sister could see neither of those things, she forced herself to formulate a sentence.
“Shit,” muttered Harper before Theodora could speak a word. “Ben’s texting. He’ll be here in five minutes, and I still can’t decide on the gold dress or the green one.”
“Green,” Theodora mumbled thoughtlessly. “When in doubt, always green. It brings out your eyes.”
“Thanks, Teddy Bear. Listen, I have to go. I’m going to text you later, okay?”
“Yeah. Okay.”
They exchanged their farewells, and Theodora sat for another moment without moving. When she finally put her car in drive and began to make her way home, each mile seemed to come with another fabricated reason after another, explaining why she was going home and not on her way to dinner. Her mind latched onto these ideas, desperate for an explanation; yet her heart ached with every excuse she could think of. None of them made her feel wanted or needed the way she wanted and needed Judah.
Upon reaching her apartment complex, she found her way to her unit and went about changing her clothes. All the while, she considered the man who always seemed to be on her mind. She thought about calling or texting him. She wondered what excuses he would give her if she did. Then she questioned if hearing his excuses would make her feel better or worse. Gone were her plans to submerge herself in photography blogs. She was too distracted, checking her phone every five minutes for updates from Harper.
When a knock sounded at her door, she jumped up from where she was sitting on her bed and hurried into the next room. It was illogical for her to believe Judah stood on the other side of the barrier, but she hoped it was true, anyway. Though, rather than disappointment at the sight of Geoffrey standing outside, it was bewilderment which tugged at the features of Theodora’s face. He was still in the suit he wore that day, a bag of takeout in one hand.
“That fucking bastard,” he practically barked, brushing past her and into her apartment.
Theodora reached up to rake her fingers through her hair, feeling completely out of sorts. She hadn’t told Geoffrey about Judah. She was still trying to sort through her own thoughts on the matter. Making sense of what Geoffrey was saying made her even more confused. She eased her front door closed and turned to look at her best friend before he started speaking again.
“I get it. Fuck, I get it—Fort Collins isn’t so big a city that he could disappear without me ever having to see him again—but fuck. I walked into the restaurant, and there he was, standing in line with the younger, blonder version of me.”
He was pacing back and forth ac
ross the short stretch of Theodora’s living room. While it was obvious he wasn’t talking about Judah, she still had a hard time keeping up with him as her eyes followed him to and fro.
“He introduced us. Introduced us. Can you believe that shit? And then I couldn’t just order for one. I couldn’t give him that satisfaction. Now I have way too much food, and I’m not even hungry. Not anymore. Fuck.”
Theodora knit her eyebrows together and offered him a slow nod. “Reeve. You—you ran into Reeve.”
“Yes,” he stated as he came to an abrupt halt. With his hands resting at his hips, he muttered, “It was awful.”
“I’m sorry,” Theodora murmured. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she knew they were inadequate. However, she couldn’t find it within herself to give him more.
“Wait—something’s wrong. What’s wrong?”
Before she answered, Theodora’s phone alerted her to a text message from Harper. Without pausing to excuse herself from the conversation she was having, she opened it and found a photo. It was blurry and obviously taken from across the room. Still, Theodora recognized Judah without any effort—even from behind. She brought her device closer to her face and studied the image. It looked like he was standing with Eddalyn and one other woman. This time, rather than confusion, she felt frustration. Then Harper sent another message.
HF: Have you met this Brittany girl? I don’t trust her.
HF: Sorry if I’m overreacting. I’m just mad she’s here and you’re not.
HF: Yeah, I get it, they work together, but you should be here.
“Teddy?”
Theodora didn’t notice the tears that welled in her eyes until she looked across the room at Geoffrey. She blinked, in an effort to chase them away, but her frustration made it difficult for her to get a grip on her emotions. With a huff, she explained, “Judah is at a charity gala tonight—with Ben and Harper. He didn’t even tell me.”
“Okay.” Geoffrey sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “What am I missing? I’m a little foggy right now, so I’ve got to be missing something.”
“Geoff, our exhibition was barely two weeks ago, and he came. It was a no brainer that he should come. Why didn’t he invite me to this? Why did he tell me he had a work thing? Look at that dress on his coworker,” she demanded as she held out her phone. “This is not a work thing.”
He didn’t look. He closed the distance between them, keeping his focus on her as he gently lowered her hand down to her side. “He’s yours, baby girl. Don’t even question that.”
“I’m his,” she whispered through the knot in her throat. “I’m totally his. And I want to believe he’s mine—but if he was, wouldn’t I be standing next to him right now instead of you?”
“You’re jumping to conclusions.”
“What are you trying to say? I don’t have a right to be upset?”
“I’m not telling you that,” he said, pulling her into his arms. She went willingly, and he rested his cheek on top of her head. “Fuck,” he muttered. “This night went to shit fast, didn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ve got takeout. Enough to feed an army. You got any wine?”
“I don’t—I don’t know. I can’t remember,” she muttered. More nights than not, if she poured herself a glass of wine, it was at Judah’s house. This realization shot a pang of hurt through her heart, and she leaned into Geoffrey.
“Come on. Let’s check. If you’re out, we’ll go get some—then we’ll eat and drink and find me the sexiest gladiator costume imaginable. Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she sighed, grateful for the company and the distraction. “Okay.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
When Aunt Eddalyn asked me whether or not I would be bringing Teddy to the charity gala, my immediate reply had been no. I didn’t even have to pause to consider it. Teddy was a part of my personal life. As a representative of one of the companies helping to sponsor the event, I categorized the evening as business. I was aware that along with our sponsorship came an allotment of ten dinner plates. I even knew which employees Eddalyn chose to invite—four designers from the Fort Collins office, and four from the Denver branch. However, what I did not anticipate was that five of the invited guests would donate to the cause and bring a spouse or girlfriend along with them.
Logan, not surprisingly, was the first of my colleagues to mention my decision. A group of us stood together in the foyer of the venue, waiting for the doors to open for dinner. With her husband, Roman, at her side, Logan rested her hands atop the growing bump she carried underneath the snug-fitting fabric of her off-the-shoulder, floral print, floor-length dress.
“I thought you’d bring Teddy,” she stated brazenly. Hesitating a moment, she then added, “I know you’re going to be annoyed with me for saying it—but you were right. About Diane, I mean. You’re different with Teddy. Your boundaries are unquestionable, and it’s obvious where your loyalties lie. I really respect that about you. Except, you never bring her around.”
Ignoring her assessment of how different she thought I was, I retorted, “She’s not a trophy to be displayed.”
“Of course not,” she went on to say, not the least bit deterred by my response. “But it’s nights like these where you can relax a little—let the people you manage see your human side; you know, the one you like to hide.”
“If you think I’m one to hide, then you shouldn’t be surprised I’ve left Teddy at home tonight.”
“She might not be a trophy, but in my experience, a woman worth having should never be hidden,” said Roman boldly as he wrapped his arm around Logan’s waist.
I forced a smile, aware that it was in my best interests to remain professional. It was no secret Roman and I weren’t exactly friendly with one another. Even more, I knew the type of scene which could unfold between the two of us if push came to shove. I’d experienced it firsthand, and I wished not to overreact that night.
Glancing over his shoulder, I saw Benjamin make his entrance. For a moment, I thought I found an escape from the conversation in which I was trapped. However, no sooner had I excused myself than I caught sight of my brother’s companion. I didn’t have to be a mind reader to know she knew what I’d done, and she didn’t approve. When the distance between us was closed, Benjamin barely managed to say hello before Harper cut in.
“Hey, why isn’t my sister here?”
“I didn’t invite her,” I replied honestly.
“More like, you didn’t even tell her about this event at all,” she practically glowered.
“Babe,” murmured Benjamin soothingly.
Harper glanced at him and then huffed out an irritated sigh. When he brought their joined hands to his lips, she softened a little and told him, “She should be here, and you agree. Don’t take his side.”
“I’m not.” His eyes flickered in my direction for a fraction of a second before he returned his gaze to Harper. “Let’s at least get through the first course before you spit fire. Besides, Aunt Eddalyn is around here somewhere, and I’d like you to meet her.”
“Did I hear you say aunt Eddalyn?” interjected Brittany.
All of us looked to the brunette as she sidled up next to me, smiling as if she had won something.
“Are you Judah’s brother?” She glanced between the two of us. “Or—I guess, maybe cousins? You two don’t look anything alike.”
“Brother,” answered Benjamin politely.
“Wow.” She simpered up at me and murmured, “I didn’t know you had siblings.”
“And you are?” asked Harper, her tone coated in what I could recognize as disingenuous interest.
“I’m Brittany. I work with Judah.”
As she spoke my name, she reached over and touched my arm. Her hand lingered for no longer than a second, but it was long enough. The smile Harper flashed at Brittany was sour, and she didn’t say a word to her in reply before addressing my brother.
“I’d love to meet your aunt. Let’s go
find her.”
“Of course.” Benjamin shot a warning glare my way as he politely said, “Excuse us.”
“That was…weird,” muttered Brittany.
I didn’t respond. My mind was too busy replaying Harper’s words as I pieced together all she hadn’t actually said. She knew Teddy wasn’t made aware of the specific details of my evening plans—which meant they’d spoken. Whatever ignorance Teddy possessed was stolen from her. Judging by Harper’s reaction, I knew I’d be a fool to assume I’d only upset one of the Fitzpatrick women with my choice.
I pulled out my phone and stared at it for a moment. My gut told me I needed to say something—but what I needed to say, I didn’t know. I didn’t want to apologize for my decision. I made it in good conscience, and it seemed silly that the irritation of my brother’s girlfriend could change that. Nevertheless, I tasted the bitter essence of regret in the very air I breathed, and it felt impossible to ignore. I typed out the only message I could think of—pathetic as it was.
Me: What are you doing?
She didn’t respond right away. A minute later, the doors to the main room were opened, and the crowd was herded in to take their seats for dinner. I pocketed my device, somewhat relieved that the table at which I was assigned was for Eddalyn’s Interiors guests only. The last thing I needed was a seat next to Teddy’s sister. Or my brother, for that matter, who seemed to side with his woman.
Logan and Roman, along with Rick and his girlfriend—whose name I could not remember—Miranda and her husband, Brittany, Eddalyn, and John, from our Denver office, rounded out our table. I managed to engage in conversation with the others through the duration of our first course. Then the weight of my phone in my pocket became too much. I pulled it out, checked for notifications, and frowned when I found nothing. Immediately, I unlocked the screen and constructed another message—this one even more simple than the last.
