The Fraud

by H. Claire Taylor

  Notmie wasn’t going to let something this great pass him by. “So, it went well, then?”

  Melono ignored his question. “Hey, hey! It looks like our old friends Mae and Hal were finally caught!” She read further before continuing. “This article says they were apprehended after an anonymous tipster called in and gave up their location. Anonymous my big toe. I would bet all the money in those black bags of theirs that it was one of Sinclair’s cowardly cronies.”

  “Probably,” Notmie replied, not particularly interested in the fate of the two petty thieves. “But you’re obviously just avoiding my question.”

  Melono didn’t look up from the paper. “What question?”

  “Did your date go well?”

  Melono tried to fake exasperation, but her girlish smile peaked through. “Yes, I suppose it went well…”

  “No!” Notmie exclaimed, slamming his palms on the table and letting out a jovial laugh. “Ha!”

  “Ach! What?” she yelped, jumping at the sudden outburst.

  “You kissed him, didn’t you?”

  She squinted at him and shook her head slightly. “Wha—how did you get that from what I said?”

  Notmie winked and nodded knowingly. “I could see it in your eyes.”

  “Oh, shut up! You’re acting like you’re in the second grade.”

  “So, did you?”

  “I think your quiche is ready.”

  “You’re not answering the question, Melono. Did you or did you not kiss Captain—”

  She shut the paper quickly and glared up at her cousin. “For God’s sake, Notmie! I let you live in my house until you find a job and this is how you act toward me? Leave me alone about…”

  Melono’s words faded into nothing, and her jaw dropped as she stared at something on the front page. “No, this doesn’t make sense,” she said. “This… but how can there be none dead?”

  Notmie scooted his chair around the table next to Melono to read the headline:

  Mystery Surrounds Warehouse Inferno in Paris

  “So they’re a little late on the news, what’s the big deal?” Notmie asked.

  “Keep reading,” Melono instructed, not lifting her eyes from the article. So Notmie continued reading.

  Paris, TX —Chief of Police Jean Pierre states that the fire, which burned down one of the oldest warehouses in town, was already extinguished before emergency vehicles had arrived on the scene.

  “You just don’t find fires that behave like this,” Pierre says. “It burned itself out, but usually buildings in such close proximity to others start to spread the fire, not burn down individually. Something about it just doesn’t seem right.”

  Though the actual cause of the fire remains unknown, local authorities believe it could have been started when a large nearby tree, which was struck by lighting during the thunderstorm, fell on the old building. However, it also raises the question of why the tree didn’t catch on fire entirely if the whole building burned down around it.

  And as for the startling thunderstorm that observers claim stopped with a sudden ear-splitting shatter, that mystery remains to be solved.

  “It was like the walls were about to be blown down by the rain one minute, then it was sunny outside the next. I knew something strange had happened the second I heard that sound coming from somewhere outside,” says Paris resident, Scooter McCracken. When asked to describe the sudden noise, he could only say one thing: “It was ear-splitting.”

  As for further inquiries into the cause of the fire, Chief Pierre says there might be a few, but seeing as how there were none injured or dead, further investigations might be postponed indefinitely.

  “Some old buildings just catch fire,” he says, “and even though most don’t act as strangely as this one, it’s just another report to be filed.”

  “I don’t get what the big deal is,” Notmie said.

  “You don’t find anything about that article a bit alarming?”

  “You mean beside the fact that that poor guy was named Scooter McCracken?”

  Melono shot Notmie The Look.

  “Okay,” he said, “so the bit about the tree not burning was a little unusual, and the part about the rain suddenly stopping, but we knew about those things already, so what are you getting at?”

  Notmie stood up, walked over to his quiche, and began fanning it with an oven mitt to help it cool.

  “Notmie, the article says there were no casualties.”

  “So what? The whole thing burned down, anyone who was inside probably burned too.”

  Melono didn’t respond. Instead, she gave Notmie time to figure this one out on his own. Ever since he’d broken the curse, he’d been getting better and better at reasoning things out, whether by the lifting of the curse, or by his self-confidence that told him he could do so; either way, he’d been steadily improving, and Melono didn’t want to impede on his progress.

  Notmie froze mid-fan, cocked his head to the side and let his eyes wander up to the ceiling.

  “I burned a bird once,” he said, “accidentally, of course.”

  Melono cringed and wondered for the third time this week if Notmie had ever killed a man, but she remained silent.

  “Bones don’t burn, do they?” he asked.

  Melono nodded. “Very good, Notmie. I’m impressed.”

  “I bet firemen know that, too. Which means they would have been looking for bones in the ashes.”

  “And if they didn’t find any…” Melono began.

  “Then no one—”

  He couldn’t quite finish the sentence; it was too unbelievable for him to say. Luckily he was spared the experience by a loud knock on the front door.

  Melono jumped up from her chair. “It’s probably just Alex. I must have left something in his car. I’ll go answer that.”

  “Oh, I’ll come with you. I haven’t seen The Cap’n in a few days, and I’d like to have a little chat with him.” Notmie set down the oven mitt and headed toward the front entry.

  “No, no. I’m sure he’s in a hurry, I’ll handle it,” Melono insisted.

  “Don’t be silly, I’m coming with you. I’d like to ask Captain Alex if his job search is going any better than mine. I highly doubt it, but I’d still like to check in, you know.”

  Melono didn’t feel like arguing, so she and Notmie both went to answer the door.

  She turned the knob and opened up to no one. Captain Alex wasn’t waiting on the doorstep like they’d both expected. In fact, no one was anywhere to be seen on the lamplit street.

  “Hey, what’ve we got here?” Notmie asked, bending over to pick up two notes lying on the welcome mat. He read the envelope of the first one. “To Notmie and Melono.”

  He flipped to the second letter and read that too. “To Notmie and Melono. Well, aren’t we popular!”

  “Who are they from?” Melono asked impatiently.

  “No idea. Let me open them up.”

  He opened the first letter and let out an excited “Oh!”

  “What?”

  “It’s from Larry! How exciting!”

  “Here, hold it where I can read it,” Melono instructed.

  Dear Notmie and Melono,

  Even though I knew the outcome of your endeavor since before you two had ever even met, I can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief now that it’s done. You don’t know how hard it was for me to keep up the charade with Mr. Pontier every time he visited me. It was always, “Tell me this” and “Don’t tell them that.” He was really quite pushy. I should clarify that when he mentioned that he knew the outcome of your quest, he wasn’t lying, and neither was I when I told it to him. We’d been having a conversation about you, Melono, when he became threatened by your wit and savvy and asked if you would break the curse in the end. I laughed and told him no. “Alas,” I had said, “she won’t even come close.” He took this to mean what he wanted it to mean, and didn’t inquire any further. When I mentioned that one of you would wind up with a gun to your head,
pulling the trigger, I thought he might actually wet himself with glee. What a spectacular ending to a spectacular search! You should have seen Mother when she was relaying this story to me. She was the most animated I’ve seen her in years!

  To Notmie, I want to say congratulations and express how proud I am of you. If ever I doubted what my mother had foretold, it was when I heard you would be the one to break the curse. The best of luck with your job search.

  To Melono, I have one main thing to say: we’re even. I always told you I would pay you back for the way you took care of me in Lynchton and in the days following that encounter, and when I heard what your mission would be, to find a way to break the curse, I knew this was my chance to repay you. Everything I did was done with the greatest of gratitude to you.

  Alex sends his greetings, or at least he will once he arrives here tomorrow. I invited him to come stay with me until he can find a real job, and since I’m already entertaining another visitor at this current time, I figure one more wouldn’t be a problem. He was more than happy to accept my invitation. I suspect we’ll be seeing you two soon enough.

  I feel I should end by recommending Notmie find a temporary position for the time being, since he’ll be forced to take an extended leave from work in a few months and with little to no notice. I can’t elaborate, but hopefully you can just trust me on this.

  Best wishes,

  Larry White

  “That Larry! What a guy!” Notmie said lovingly, thinking back to all the good times they’d shared.

  “Who’s the other letter from?” Melono asked impatiently.

  Notmie broke from his reminiscing. “Oh! I’d almost forgotten about the second one!”

  They noted the fancy handwriting on the envelope and wondered why there was no return address. Notmie proceeded to open the envelope and read it silently.

  “Well,” said Melono, “who’s it from?”

  “Camille,” he replied, looking up to meet Melono’s questioning stare. Something in his eyes wasn’t quite right.

  “She says thanks,” he told her.

  “For what?”

  “I don’t know, breaking the curse, I guess.”

  Melono tried to imagine why Camille would be thanking them for breaking the curse when her uncle, who she’d risked her life to save, had worked so hard to preserve it.

  “Does she say anything else?”

  “Yeah,” Notmie said uncertainly. “She says she’ll see us soon.”

  “Her too? Is there some reunion we’ve not been informed of yet? How soon is she talking about?”

  “Doesn’t say.” He continued reading. “But she also says I should find a temporary job. How does she know?” He read some more. “Oh, that explains it.” He laughed.

  Melono perked up. “What explains it?”

  “She’s that visitor Larry mentioned. I imagine her and The Cap’n will get to know each other preeeetty well…” Notmie glanced up at Melono to see her reaction.

  He’d always admired the way jealous women could look so completely murderous. Melono was no exception. He loved it. “Boy, Melono, it’s a good thing you and The Cap’n aren’t together, or else that might make you pretty jealous, huh?”

  She was barely audible as she spoke through gritted teeth. “Yeah, it’s a good thing… for his sake.”

  “Sure thing! And I bet if y’all were together you would really hate to know he was living with a really cute girl with a really cute French accent without letting you know about it beforehand. Oh! And looky here!” Notmie pointed to the letter in his hand. “She’s planning on giving him French lessons! Hm, funny, but it doesn’t say that it’ll be French language lessons. I wonder what other sort of French lesson she might be giving him… Man, if someone I was dating didn’t let me know about that ahead of time, I would be fuming! ” He looked away from the letter casually then forced a smile at his cousin. “Hmph. Funny how things turn out.”

  Melono stood rigid. “Sure is.”

  Notmie went back to the letter. As soon as he reached the end, he erupted in a fit of giggles. “Well, I’ll be darned!”

  Melono shoved Notmie in the shoulder to get him to stop. “What’s so funny?” she asked.

  “Oh, just the post script.” Notmie grinned. “Camille says she can’t wait to meet The Cap’n because—and I’m only reading this to you because I know you and him aren’t together so it won’t bother you—because she’s always dreamed of falling in love with a balding caped avenger.”

  “ What! ” Melono ripped the letter from Notmie’s hands and read the postscript for herself.

  P.S. I wish Melono and Captain Alex the best of luck in their relationship.

  When she’d finished reading it, she looked up to find Notmie grinning from ear to ear.

  “Not a couple, you say? A likely story, Melono, a likely story.”

  Melono shoved the letter back into his hands, glared at him menacingly, and then stomped out of the room.

  Notmie wasn’t sure which he enjoyed more, breaking the curse or outsmarting Melono. He decided that he liked them both about the same and strutted back into the kitchen to enjoy what he now considered a victory quiche.

  Now What?

  Enjoy reading The Fraud? If so, please take a moment to leave a glowing review online because reviews are an author’s lifeblood.

  Thanks for reading!

  www.hclairetaylor.com

  About the Author

  H. Claire Taylor has lived in Austin since the eighties (she was born there), and now she simply can’t find a substantial reason to leave. She started writing her first novel at age ten and has been making things up ever since. Nowadays, she shares a home with her husband and two black-and-white mutts and suffers from an unhealthy dependency on Post-It Notes. When she’s not working on her novels, she’s blogging and making grandiose plans to start her own comedy podcast.

  The Fraud was originally published in 2012 and was her first published novel. You can find out more about her and join her email list at www.hclairetaylor.com.