Beyond Heaven and Earth

by Steven H. Propp

  His frustration almost palpable, Jobran continued, “Even if one had the time to explore and study all of these different disciplines and groups—and no one has that much time—what do you do when confronted with serious objections to them? The Fox sisters recanted, calling their ‘spirit rappings’ fraudulent, and then unrecanted. Mary Baker Eddy is accused of hypocritically taking pain-killing drugs and having dental surgery done—in contradiction to her own doctrines— as well as plagiarizing persons such as Phineas Parkhurst Quimby. Gurdjieff failed to raise any of his many disciples to his own level, and often seemed motivated by money; he and Ouspensky had a rupture and called each other crazy afterwards. Ouspensky sank into alcoholism and depression. Helena Petrovna Blavatsky’s ‘mediumship’ was called an outright fraud by the Society for Psychical Research, and she is suspected of herself being the author of the so-called ‘Mahatma Letters’ that supposedly came from the ‘Ascended Masters’; even Theosophist A.P. Sinnett came to this view. The Theosophical Society had major controversies over its leadership between original co-founder H. S. Olcott, and William Judge; members resigned in droves after the innovations of Annie Besant and Charles Leadbeater, and began a ‘Back to Blavatsky’ movement. Leadbeater himself was accused of improper sexual conduct with underage boys, and resigned his position in the Society; when he was reinstated later, his promotion of the Liberal Catholic Church was very controversial. The Theosophical Society acclaimed Krishnamurti as the ‘World Teacher,’ even canceling the charter of Rudolph Steiner’s German branch when he refused to accept Krishnamurti, but Krishnamurti himself eventually rejected this position, and disbanded his followers in the Order of the Star, apparently proving the Society’s prophecies concerning him false. Guy Ballard died of heart disease and cirrhosis of the liver shortly before his wife and son were put on trial by the U.S. Government for mail fraud. The Unity School of Christianity’s emphasis on ‘Prosperity’ makes it seem as materialistic as any money-grubbing televangelist. Medium Arthur Ford was an alcoholic, who probably derived much of his spiritistic ‘information’ from his own research in obituaries, and such. Sai Baba is accused of dipping his fingertips in ash before he snaps them, and calling this the ‘creation of matter.’ Meher Baba died without keeping his promise to break his silence and speak the ‘One Word’ that would open a new age of love. L. Ron Hubbard is considered by many to be a tax-evading huckster and opportunist—not to mention a terrible writer. Eckankar has written its second leader, Darwin Gross, out of its history. The Hare Krishnas turned to drugs, guns and murder after their founder Swami Prabhupada died in 1977. Elizabeth Clare Prophet’s failed prophecies about the Soviet Union make her a ‘failed prophet,’ who has now come down with Alzheimer’s Disease and dementia; her group stockpiled weapons during the 80s, but their prophecies failed and the Cold War ended in 1991.” He finally stopped, almost gasping for air, but immediately added, “Yet all of these groups still have passionately devoted followers—fully as dedicated as the most passionate Southern Baptist or Catholic! I know, because I’ve seen them, and talked with them. How can you ever know the truth?”

  Abraham was a bit taken aback by Jobran’s passionate soliloquy, and began, “Look, Jobe, no one ever claimed that the religious quest was easy; but…”

  “Jesus did,” Jobran rejoined. “He said, ‘My yoke is easy, and my burden light.’ Matthew 11:29-30. The spiritual path shouldn’t be as hard as I’m making it.”

  “That’s hardly the only thing that Jesus had to say,” Abraham countered. “And he contradicted himself on that very point numerous times; didn’t he tell his followers that they were going to be persecuted?” In a voice impatient with frustration, he asked, “So just what is your ‘path,’ now? Your approach to ‘spiritual truth’?”

  Jobran replied calmly, in a reasonable voice, “To take the most ‘mainstream’ approach that I can take: Christianity is the religion with the largest number of adherents in the world, and Catholicism is by far the largest ‘branch’ of Christianity. Furthermore, the Roman Catholic Church is the oldest identifiable, continuous social institution in the history of the world—or perhaps it’s tied with the Eastern Orthodox Church—whereas the Protestant churches and the Church of England didn’t arise until 1500 years later.” He added in a softer tone, “But again, the decisive factor for me is that Catholicism was the religion practiced by my beloved Sophia.” Sighing, he concluded, “So the more I think about it, the fewer alternatives I really seem to have, if my goal is reunion with Sophia.”

  Abraham looked skeptical, and said, “This ‘mainstream,’ ‘majority rules’ approach of yours seems to me to be very unlikely to work, not to mention hypocritical. Didn’t Jesus say something to the effect that, ‘narrow is the road leading to salvation,’ or something like that?”

  “He did,” Jobran replied quickly. “And frankly, if my goal were simply to achieve salvation for myself, I would probably feel obligated—now that I know more about them—to take up one of the more ‘extreme’ approaches to Christianity, such as the Latter-Day Saints, the Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Seventh-Day Adventists, or the Holiness Pentecostals—because although she was a ‘good Catholic,’ Sophia certainly didn’t set any records as far as her religion went.” In a tired voice, yet still filled with conviction, he added, “But as I keep saying, that isn’t my goal: My goal is to be reunited with Sophia—to be where she is, for all of eternity. If achieving ‘salvation’ for myself would separate me from my only true love, then I’m not interested in it—that kind of ‘salvation’ would be Hell for me, not Heaven.”

  Abraham threw up his hands, and said, “But how can you commit yourself to a religion when you seem to lack any genuine conviction or certainty that it is in fact true?”

  Agitated, Jobran responded, “At least I don’t have any strong conviction that Catholicism isn’t true!” Lowering his voice, he added, “Look, there are any number of things about the Catholic Church that I do like: Their liturgy can be a beautiful ceremony of dignified and respectful worship; theologically, they are sufficiently broad so that they can include everyone from Hans Küng to Dietrich Von Hildebrand, from Joan Chittister to Scott Hahn. I like their mystical tradition, their monastic chant, their retreats and pilgrimages, the classical music they have promoted and inspired. Sure, there are some things I may not agree with— birth control, for instance, which might eventually have been an ‘issue’ with Sophia and I after we had had several children—but most of these are no longer relevant to me, without Sophia. Clerical celibacy, ordination of women and openly gay men—those issues don’t really matter to me! And fortunately, the Catholic Church in America is more liberal and less authoritarian than in many other parts of the world; many priests allow Protestants to receive the Eucharist, and virtually ignore Purgatory in their funeral eulogies.” He shrugged his shoulders, and said, “You and I both know from our research that final certainty is not possible. No matter how hard you try, the bottom line is essentially a matter of ‘faith.’”

  Abraham laughed, without any humor. “‘Faith’? You’re about the last person I would expect to hear endorsing ‘faith.’ It sounds to me like what you’ve got isn’t a genuine ‘faith’—that is, a belief in something you can’t see—it sounds more like you’ve just made a rationalistic calculation of probabilities. Somehow, I doubt that that’s what Jesus, or the Christian Bible had in mind.”

  Jobran replied quickly, “But Jesus is also supposed to have said ‘Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief,’” (Mk 9:24)

  Abraham massaged his forehead with his fingers, and said, “Look, don’t take me wrong; I’m certainly no expert on ‘faith’—it’s mostly a Christian concept, not a Jewish one. The Tanakh almost never even uses the term ‘faith,’ much less makes it an important doctrine.” He looked at Jobran with disappointment, and said, “I don’t mean to criticize your neat little plan, that you’ve got all worked out—with precise calculations of all the alternatives, an
d such—but I think that you should know the opinion of your friend and fellow ‘quester,’ who was at your side through much of your search, that most of your conclusions seem rather dubious to me.” Shaking his head, he added, “In fact, if a member of my congregation had come to me with such a scheme, I’d think he was cracked.”

  “And is that what you think of me?” Jobran asked, quietly. In a voice trembling with emotion, he added, “I’ve tried so hard, Abraham; I really have….”

  Abraham looked at Jobran, and a rush of compassion for his friend overwhelmed him. He moved next to Jobran on the couch, put his arm comfortingly on Jobran’s shoulder, and said, “No, I don’t think you’re cracked; not at all. More than anyone, I know the degree to which you’ve been researching this whole issue. I’ve never heard of anyone—rabbi, minister, priest, Imam—who has spent more time and effort in a religious quest than you have. You get far more than an ‘A+’ for effort; you put most of us ‘normal’ religious practitioners to shame.”

  “Thanks,” Jobran said, with a rueful smile. “I think.”

  Pounding his fist against his own chest, Abraham said quietly, “And I’m sorry that I’ve been arguing with you about this; I’ve…had some things on my mind, that’s all. As far as I’m concerned, if you want to become a Roman Catholic, and eat Jesus’ body and drink his blood every day, that’s fine with me. Hopefully, we won’t ever find ourselves on opposite sides of the picket line at some rally.” With genuine concern, Abraham asked, “And you really think—way deep down in your heart of hearts—that this is the approach that is most likely get you to where Sophia may be?”

  Jobran’s brow wrinkled, and he answered with a grimace, “Well, yes and no. If Catholicism is true, then Sophia and I will certainly be separated by the refining process of Purgatory for some time; maybe a very long time. The fact that Sophia started practicing her religion before I did, and was a lifelong Catholic, may give her a considerable ‘head start’ on me. But Catholicism does promise, in no uncertain terms, that if we both faithfully follow the teachings of the Church, we will both get to Heaven.” He let out a long sigh, then said, “The biggest problem is that Catholicism—with its traditions of celibacy, monasticism, and such—is very far from promising that Sophia would be with me as my wife in Heaven. Frankly, it’s not too clear just what our situation would be like.”

  Abraham looked incredulous. “And that situation would be acceptable to you?”

  “It would not be my preference, obviously,” Jobran replied, “My preference would be to live together as a couple in Heaven, as we did on Earth. But if that’s all I’m allowed—simply being in Heaven with Sophia platonically for all eternity—then it will have to be enough.” Sounding as if he were still trying to persuade himself, Jobran said, “I’m not dogmatic or stuck on the idea that Sophia and I have to live together eternally in a conjugal sense—having sex, and keeping house, for all of eternity—I’ve already had to deal with that part of separation here on Earth, and if I have to, I can deal with it in Heaven.” His eyes starting to fill with tears, he added, “But just to be with her again, to be in her presence…that’s all that I would ask of a ‘Heaven.’”

  Abraham nodded, and said, “And how long is Purgatory supposed to last?”

  Jobran threw up his hands, and said, “Good question; estimates range from tens of thousands of years, to a very short period of time by our standards. The Church has a doctrine called ‘Indulgences’—the doctrine that Martin Luther rebelled over, although the abuses he pointed out have long since been cor-rected—whereby through good works and faith, you can minimize your own, or another’s time in Purgatory. That would certainly be a motivating factor for me, if I could do something here on Earth that could make things better for Sophia right now.” Then, with a sheepish smile, he said, “Still, I must admit that I am hopeful that Purgatory—assuming it exists—is much less intense and extended than what Catholicism taught in the pre-Vatican II days. It occupies only a few sections (1030-1032) in the current Catechism—less than one page—as opposed to 16 pages on the doctrine of Matrimony. Theologians no longer seem to write book-length treatises about Purgatory, and a number of the more modern ones tend to almost dismiss it, or at least minimize its length and sufferings. I’ve now gone to a few Catholic funerals, as well, and quite frankly, most of the priests in their Eulogy seem to believe that the dead person will be in the presence of God almost immediately.” Shrugging his shoulders, he concluded, “But if it exists, and if it is to be a purging or purifying force, then undoubtedly this would be for the best; it could be viewed as making me more worthy of reunion with Sophia.”

  Abraham collapsed backwards in the couch, as if giving up the fight. “Well, then, you seem to have thought everything out, exhaustively. I only have one remaining question for you,” he said, suddenly leaning forward and looking Jobran straight in the eye. “Do you really believe this will work?”

  Jobran paused for a long time, considering the matter carefully, before he replied, “Unfortunately, it’s the best solution that I can come up with.”

  Abraham laughed contemptuously, but Jobran continued, “Still, I have to admit that the one respect in which I can’t really compete with Sophia is in terms of actually believing the doctrines of the Catholic Church. While I’ve studied them, and I know the traditional intellectual arguments supporting them, Sophia truly believed them—but then, she had been raised in the Church all her life, so it was culturally ‘natural’ to her.” His voice downcast, he added, “In my case, I’m not sure that I will ever be able to truly believe—in my heart of hearts—all of the doctrines of the Church.”

  Abraham nodded, smugly. “I was wondering about that; I thought for a moment there that you’d completely lost all of your critical faculties.”

  Jobran replied immediately, “Fortunately, in Catholicism as I understand it, as long as one persists faithfully in observing the precepts and actions prescribed by the Church, refraining from unconfessed mortal sin, it is considered ‘acceptable’ to have some honest doubts.” Jobran looked directly at Abraham, and said, “And I think that there is no question, but that what I have is honest doubts, honestly arrived at.”

  Abraham countered, “If you had to choose one religion as the most likely to be true—rather than the one that is most likely to reunite you with Sophia—which one would you choose?”

  “It doesn’t matter to me,” Jobran replied. “Apart from her, religions have little meaning to me. For me, Sophia is my religion.”

  Abraham shook his head sardonically, and said, “Well, at least you’ve been faithful to your religion; you’ve certainly got ‘sincerity’ going for you.” Trying one last approach, he said, “Now you’ve been telling me what you think will happen after your death; but is this what you are also hoping for?”

  Jobran shook his head, and said, “Frankly, what I’m really hoping for, is that either the liberal Protestant view is correct, or the Universalist, or that the ‘New Age-y,’ basic Near-Death Experience-type of interpretation is actually the ‘true’ one; that way, I will be able to be reunited with Sophia immediately after my death, which is all that I ever wanted.” With resignation in his voice, he said, “But from the standpoint of theology, I think that going with the religion— Christianity—that is most similar to my cultural background, and the branch of it—Catholicism—that is adhered to by the majority of Christians, is the ‘safest’ and most ‘mainstream’ way to go.”

  Exasperation in his voice, Abraham said, “And you aren’t worried about, say, eternal damnation for taking such a ‘calculating’ approach to salvation? The Billy Grahams of the world probably would think that you’ve just ‘sold away your soul.’ You’re not worried that God might condemn you for making your choice on such a ‘pragmatic’ basis, rather than out of your own true and heartfelt convictions?”

  Jobran nodded and said, “Certainly, my own damnation is a possib
ility—and of course, that’s exactly what some of the more extreme evangelicals and fundamentalists would say—but they essentially hold out little hope for my being reunited in Heaven with my Catholic wife anyway, so I’ve had to take their opinions out of contention.” He said, in a voice of sad resignation, “Life without Sophia has been ‘Hell’ for me anyway; so ending up in the literal Hell—which is where she would probably have gone, according to those extreme fundamental-ists—does not seem like any worse prospect to me than what I’m currently experiencing. Frankly, I would rather be ‘damned’ with Sophia, than be ‘saved’ without her.” Pleading, he added, “Like I said earlier, to my way of thinking, what I’m doing is really just a modernized version of what the French philosopher Pascal proposed in his book Pensees: a ‘wager’; and like his, mine is based on what I think are the probable consequences.”

  A look of disbelief on his face, Abraham said, “So that’s it? Your great ‘quest’ is over?”

  Jobran shook his head, and said, “My quest will never be ‘over’ until I am dead, or reunited with Sophia, or until I discover that such reunion is impossible; but it is certainly true that my ‘search’ is over.” He tried to place his hand on Abraham’s shoulder, but Abraham moved away. Pretending not to be slighted, Jobran said, “Look, I want to tell you how much I appreciate all that you’ve…”

  “Oh, spare me; you make me want to puke,” Abraham said, rising and heading toward the door. “Thanks for wasting my time. Have a good life.”

  “As a religious representative yourself, I might have hoped that you’d find something positive to say about my decision,” Jobran said, huffily.

  Turning around suddenly at the door, he spat out, “There is nothing positive to be said about your decision! You’re just giving up, that’s all.” Almost hissing the words, he added, “Believe it or not, Jobran, there are other people in the world who have problems, too…”