Breathless With Her

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  Nicholas—Nicky—my husband, the man who had been in my life since we were ten. The one who had been part of my love life, my only love life, for so long. He had his pants around his ankles, his hands around the thighs of Becca, the head cheerleader, as he slid in and out of her. He grunted and panted, something he had never done with me. At least, not in years. He was always sweet with me, always gentle as if I were porcelain and he didn’t want to bruise me.

  He was definitely going to leave bruises on Becca’s thighs.

  He pushed in and out of her, his butt flexing as he grunted, and then lowered his head so he could sniff the white powder off Becca’s exposed breasts.

  My husband, the love and light of my life, was snorting coke off the boobs of the head cheerleader from our high school while pounding his cock inside of her.

  What fresh hell was this?

  I must have made a sound. I didn’t know what it was, probably a gasp, maybe I had said all of that out loud. Regardless, the two of them turned to me at once. Nicky’s eyes went wide, and Becca grinned like a cat that got the cream. Or the canary. Or maybe some other metaphor that actually had to do with sex that I really didn’t want to think about or try to remember.

  Because my husband was cheating on me, and he was doing drugs.

  And I had no idea what to say to any of that.

  Were there words for this? Was there a fucking Hallmark card? There had to be. We’re so sorry your husband is doing coke and playing with his cock in the cheerleader. Maybe if I put enough C’s in the card, it’d be all alliterated and shit.

  “Fuck, Erin. What are you doing here?”

  He was still inside of her, his hips still thrusting slightly. Apparently, he didn’t even realize he was doing it. He wiped the powder off his nose, and I just blinked.

  “That’s the question you’re going to ask me? What am I doing here?” Dear God.

  “You’re supposed to be at the party,” he stuttered.

  “Yes, darling, you were supposed to be at the party,” Becca sing-songed.

  “I cannot believe I’ve become a cliché,” I said, looking at the two of them as I shook my head. “A goddamn cliché.” My heart should have hurt, it should have felt like it was splitting in two. Instead, all I could do was try to catch my breath. Try to fight through the numbness. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even cry, scream, or throw anything. There was nothing.

  I was nothing.

  I turned on my heel and walked out of the bathroom, the tapping of my shoes against the tile of the hallway echoing in the emptiness.

  There weren’t shouts, no screams from me. I didn’t hear the sound of footsteps behind me. I didn’t hear anyone following me. Because there wasn’t. He wasn’t going to come after me.

  He would probably finish inside her, make sure he got every last line of coke.

  I needed a fucking drink.

  I pushed past people, and I was pretty sure they weren’t even aware I was there. They were too busy paying attention to their own lives, which might not be perfect but had to be better than mine and what I had just witnessed.

  My hands were shaking, and I knew I probably looked ill, maybe even a little angry, but I didn’t care.

  I walked out of the school, got into my car, started the engine, and found the nearest bar.

  The fact that it was only five minutes away might have worried me for the school itself, but I didn’t care. I just needed a goddamned drink.

  It didn’t occur to me until I opened the door that I was still in a sequined dress from the eighties, my hair likely in disarray. I probably looked like I was just on this side of a psychotic break.

  But I didn’t care. I ignored the looks, the whispers. I stomped my way to an empty barstool and took a seat next to a man with broad shoulders wearing a tight Henley.

  He looked at me and frowned. I ignored him. Instead, I raised my chin and waited for the bartender to see me.

  “Erin?”

  I froze, knowing that voice. Remembering that voice.

  I turned and saw Devin Carr. A friend from school—or at least he had been my sister, Jennifer’s, friend. They had dated for a bit, not that I remembered too much about it or knew any of the details.

  I just shook my head. Of course.

  “Hi, Devin.”

  “I take it the high school reunion didn’t go well?” he said dryly. “Amelia, my sister, mentioned it.”

  “Does watching your husband screwing the head cheerleader while doing drugs count as well?” I asked, surprised that I had even said the words aloud.

  As I blinked, trying to collect my thoughts, he gave me a tight nod and glanced over at the bartender. “We’re going to need two shots of your best tequila.”

  “I take it one’s for you?” I asked.

  “Nope, I had my beer. Both are for you. Figured you needed it.”

  And right then and there, I knew Devin Carr was going to be my best friend.

  At least, for tonight.

  Chapter 2

  Devin

  I grinned down at the woman in the sequined dress, holding out my single beer bottle to clink with her first shot glass. When I came into the bar earlier for a drink after a long day, I hadn’t expected to find such entertainment. But now that I had? I wasn’t going to let it slip away.

  Plus, I’d seen the look in her eyes, the one that spoke of pain and a manic energy that meant she could end up doing something she regretted in the morning. I’d been there before, and since I knew Erin—at least a little bit—I wasn’t about to let her do something she would hate. Not that I’d let someone I didn’t know do that if I knew it might happen, but this was a little more personal.

  Erin tossed back the shot, and I took a sip of my beer, setting the bottle down after. I had a feeling I would have to make sure this one got home safely—after I got the full story out of her.

  I knew Erin from back in the day when I dated her older sister, Jennifer. Jenn and I were the same age, while Erin was a little younger. I thought she was possibly older than Amelia, my baby sister, but I wasn’t a hundred percent sure. All I knew was that she was younger than me. Maybe even younger than my younger brother, Caleb.

  So, with the age difference, we hadn’t actually been at school at the same time, but I did know who she was.

  I also knew that she had married her high school sweetheart. My sister had mentioned it at some point, even though it wasn’t like we’d grown up in a small town. Denver was a big place. Even if we lived in the suburbs, we didn’t know everything about everyone.

  However, the fact that I knew Erin had just come from her high school reunion dressed as whatever the hell she was dressed as…?

  Yeah, I needed to know the story. I was nosy like that.

  “Feel better?” I asked, studying her face.

  She had wide-set eyes, and yeah, they had a bit of a manic look to them, but it wasn’t too bad. The light green of the irises was almost piercing, and it was hard to keep focused when they were right on me. I didn’t think Jenn had those eyes, and I really hadn’t noticed the color of Erin’s eyes during any of the times we had met back in the day.

  But I was noticing now.

  Though considering she still had a wedding ring on her finger—even if it turned out that he might be cheating on her—yeah, I shouldn’t be looking at those eyes. Or the sharp slant of her cheekbones, or the way her blond hair was curled and pinned up on the top of her head in some weird prom hairdo.

  I wasn’t going to notice any of that. Or her curves.

  I was just going to listen. And make sure she was okay. Because that’s what I did. I made sure everybody in my life was okay.

  My older brother Dimitri was the same way. We were the ones that took care of the younger siblings, even if we were a little annoying.

  So I was willing to make sure Erin was okay, too. Because it looked like she’d had one hell of a night already.

  “I haven’t done tequila shots in far to
o long,” she said, throwing the other shot back.

  My eyebrows rose, and then I snorted, taking a sip of my beer.

  “Looks like you got the hang of it, though,” I said, studying her again.

  “Well, I’ve had a really shitty night. But I shouldn’t have another shot of tequila. I should probably just have some water. Because I drove here. And I really wasn’t thinking about what would happen next.”

  “If you want water, that’s good. If you want something else, we’ll make sure we take care of you. We won’t let you drive home drunk.”

  “Is that a come-on? Because I’m married.” Her eyes widened and then filled with tears. I cursed under my breath.

  “It wasn’t a come-on, Erin. I’ll call your sister, or I’ll get you home. Don’t worry, I’m not a stranger. And I’m not going to take advantage of you. Promise.”

  “Promises mean shit, apparently,” she said, shaking her head. “He cheated on me. He had his cock in the head cheerleader.”

  “The current head cheerleader?” I asked, a little worried.

  She shook her head, taking a big gulp from a glass of water the bartender slid over. I nodded in thanks, and she did the same, even though she was still drinking. “No, the head cheerleader from back when I was in high school. I didn’t even know that stuff happened at reunions.”

  “Well, people make fun of them for a reason. A lot of the old shit and resentment you thought you were over usually comes back to bite you in the ass at those things. Probably why I never went to mine.”

  “Well, you were lucky. Nicholas wanted to go to ours. And I thought it was because he was just tired and waiting for the next job to start and wanted to show the world that he was doing okay. But we really weren’t. I mean, my work…that’s fine. I own a cake-decorating business, and it’s doing great. I do well on my own. Not that Nicholas has ever truly thought that. He thinks it’s just a little side project. But that so-called side project paid for our mortgage. While he was always waiting for the next big thing. To sell the biggest and best property. He’s still waiting for his next realtor job to pop up. Apparently, other things were popping up just fine, though. In the cheerleader.”

  I held back a grin at that, loving the way she was rambling. Yeah, the Rose sisters had been hilarious back in the day, and I liked getting to know them. But now Jennifer was married and not a Rose anymore. Erin was apparently married, as well—also not a Rose.

  I wasn’t quite sure what her last name was now. “Nicholas—Nicky—Taborn?” I asked, holding back another smile as she narrowed her eyes again.

  “He hated being called Nicky.”

  “So you’re going to call him Nicky now?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know. I’ve known him since I was ten. We were middle school crushes and high school sweethearts and a college couple, and then we were married. Everything. Married. And he cheated on me. I don’t know if tonight was the first night either. Maybe this has been a long-going thing. He was doing coke, too,” she whispered. “I think it was coke. The white powder you put in lines. He was sniffing it right off her boob. Like, what the hell?” She whispered the last part, and I froze, trying to picture exactly what she had seen while also not wanting to. “Jesus Christ,” I muttered.

  “Exactly. Jesus Christ.”

  “Do you want me to get you another drink? Because this sounds like you’re going to need another drink.”

  “I shouldn’t.”

  “I’ll get you home, Erin.”

  “What about my car? I just don’t know,” she whispered.

  “I’ll take care of you. You want to drink for the night? You do that. You want to go home? You can do that, too. You want to go back and beat the shit out of your sorry excuse for a husband? We can also do that.”

  “No, I really don’t want to go back there.” She looked down at her dress and picked at a sequin. “They made us dress up in fashion for a decade that we weren’t even in school for. I look ridiculous.” She looked over her shoulder and winced. “Yeah, coming in here probably wasn’t the greatest idea, considering what I look like right now.”

  “You look just fine, Erin,” I said softly. I really wasn’t hitting on her, but she looked so broken. So lost. And I had a tendency to want to help when I saw those things. I probably shouldn’t, not when this wasn’t my problem. But she had been the one to sit down next to me on that barstool. We had a connection, albeit one from long ago that wasn’t actually between us. But I couldn’t just leave her alone.

  So, when she ordered a beer to follow her previous tequila shots, I ordered a glass of water for myself and sat there as she spoke. I just tried to let her know that she wasn’t alone, even if I didn’t know if that was true. Because I didn’t know Erin Rose, no…Erin Taborn anymore.

  I hadn’t really known her back in the day either. No matter, I hated that she was going through this.

  I held back a wince as I thought about my own family and how much cheating could fuck everything up. Because as soon as someone cheated, trust was broken, and everything got messed up. Until someone left or drank themselves to death.

  And though Erin had only had two shots and was nursing a single beer while chugging water, I knew it wasn’t the same. It couldn’t be the same as what I had seen. What I’d had to shield my brothers and sisters from.

  But, still, seeing just a little bit of what had basically been my life while growing up wasn’t easy. I didn’t want Erin to go through this. Even if I didn’t know her well, I didn’t want her to go through it.

  So, when she finished her beer and went to pay, I shook my head and handed over my credit card.

  “I got this.”

  “You shouldn’t. I should just call an Uber or something. I don’t know about my car.” She was muttering to herself, and I had a feeling she either didn’t drink often, or she had a low tolerance. I could see the glassiness in her eyes, and it wasn’t just from the crying. Because she hadn’t cried. She’d been really good about not doing that. When the dam broke…? I wasn’t sure I wanted to be there for that. But I could at least send her on her way and make sure she was okay. I hoped.

  “I’ll pay for this since it looks like you need it. And then I’ll get you home.”

  “I don’t want to go home,” she whispered, looking down at her purse. “What if he’s there? What am I supposed to say?”

  I cursed. “Didn’t think of that. Okay, you got my couch.”

  She wavered on her stool, blinking. “I don’t think that’s a great idea, Devin.”

  “I have a guest room, too. Or whatever. I promise I’m not putting on the moves. We’ll just get you somewhere to sleep, and you can figure out what it is you need to do in the morning. Promise.”

  She studied my face for a bit before nodding, and I wondered if this was the right decision. I wasn’t going to sleep with her tonight, not considering everything going on, but to anyone else, this might look weird. Or off.

  I wasn’t quite sure what to do. I couldn’t just leave her here, and she had nowhere else to go. At least, she hadn’t said so. Hadn’t mentioned friends, or her family, not even her sister. So, I would make sure she was okay for the night, and then I would send her on her way.

  Because I knew what happened when you were the other person. When you had to watch your life fall apart because someone cheated. I might not be the person that had been cheated on, but I had been one of the broken pieces left behind.

  I didn’t know if Erin had children or anything like that. But if she did, I liked to think she would have mentioned them at least once.

  However, I didn’t really know her.

  I paid quickly, and we headed out to my car, with Erin leaning heavily on my arm.

  “Sorry, I didn’t really eat today, and I don’t usually drink, and I’m in heels. It’s how come I’m a mess.”

  She wiped her face, smearing mascara. I just shook my head and helped her into the vehicle. “No worries. We’ve all been a mess.”

  “Yeah? Y
ou ever been alone in a bar in a sequined dress getting drunk with someone that you really don’t know?”

  “Well, I don’t know about a sequined dress, but maybe a little wrap dress thing. Less sparkle.”

  She laughed just like I wanted her to, and I closed the door before moving around the truck to slide in.

  I had an old Ford pickup that had once been my grandfather’s. While it had been old even then, I loved it. My dad and I had restored it back in the day, and I had fixed it up even more on my own with some of my brothers’ help over the years. I didn’t take it out often since I had a work vehicle, but I was driving it today. It was one of those trucks that were good for small outings, but it wasn’t in show condition or anything, so I didn’t have to worry about parking or the weather or dealing with things like that.

  It didn’t guzzle too much fuel, and it got me where I needed to go. Connected me to some of the family that I sometimes forgot was there or tried to forget when the pain got to be too much.

  And that was enough of that. Maybe half a beer was just too much if I was reminiscing about old shit like this.

  “I like your truck,” Erin said, looking around.

  “I do, too. It’s a good truck.” I patted the dash and then started the engine. It roared to life, and I grinned. Yeah, I fucking loved my truck.

  “What is it?”

  “A ‘48 Ford F-1 pickup.”

  “Is that supposed to mean something? Sorry, I’m not really good at cars.”

  “It means it’s a good truck. And don’t worry, it’ll get you where you need to go. You sure there’s no one I can call for you?”

  She looked down at her hands, and I wanted to kick myself for mentioning that.

  “Not really. Jenn’s probably sleeping. She has three kids and tends to go to sleep early these days since they all like to wake up before dawn it seems.”

  “Jenn has three kids?” I asked, shaking my head. “I always thought she didn’t want kids.”

  “Yeah, that’s what she said. At least when she was a teenager.”