Chance or Fate- on New Year's Eve

by R. J. Moray

  Danny snorted, weaving through the typical New Year’s Eve traffic. “Yeah, except to click you generally have to date. Girls like that.”

  “I don’t give a fuck what girls like.”

  Well, that was tantalizing. This was a strange conversation to be having with a customer, but it was a strange kind of night. Theo was strange, too sharp-edged and beautiful to be real.

  And kind of awful, too. “Well, you’re probably gonna die alone, then.”

  Surprisingly, Theo laughed, throwing back his head. “I guess.”

  Danny found he liked Theo’s laugh. It was savage and sharp, self-deprecating. There was a hurt edge to it, something heartbreaking in the way Theo’s mouth stretched around it, gone wide and wild. God, he was so fucking pretty it was making it hard for Danny not to just lay it out on the table: Come back to my place. Click with me. I wanna see you come.

  Somehow he managed to keep that in, all the way to the garage. He unlocked the office and led Theo inside. The lights flickered to life, casting an ugly yellow glow over Theo’s beautiful face. Freckles dappled the bridge of his nose. Danny turned away before he reached out to touch them.

  “You’re not on the books, so I got some paperwork for you to fill out.” He handed Theo the clipboard and pen. The kid stared at it like he’d never seen a pen before. “You can write, right?”

  It made Theo gape at him, and then that soft mouth settled into a pout. “Yeah.”

  The way he looked up at Danny through his lashes made Danny’s skin feel tight. He wanted to touch those freckles so bad it made his bones ache. But he didn’t, just nodded. “I’ll be back in a few.”

  He walked out. He wasn’t a coward, not by a long shot, but he found it hard to resist temptation when it was as pretty as Theo.

  Theo

  The second Danny walked out of the room Theo let all his breath go in a rush, sagging against the desk. Fuck. Fuck.

  Did Danny know how hot he was? Did he do that slow half-smile-smirk on purpose to drive people crazy? Was he aware that he smelled like salt and sweat and engine oil, and that it was the sexiest thing Theo had ever smelled?

  Well, he probably didn’t know that last part. God, Theo hoped not.

  He stared down at the forms Danny had left for him, willed himself to pick up the pen, but all he could think of were Danny's eyes, looking him over like he was thinking about buying him. What a thrill. And now he knew Danny was, if not gay, then bi at least. Into guys. Was he into Theo? Was that possible?

  “Do you want a beer?”

  Theo jerked around, nearly dislodging a pile of folders from the desk. Danny was standing in the doorway, holding a dark bottle misted with condensation. More importantly, he’d unfastened his overalls to the waist and shrugged out of them, letting them fall down to hug his hips. Through his thin t-shirt Theo could make out the dark circles of his nipples, peaking against the fabric. God, he was so fucking hot. Theo tried to focus on what he’d said, and not his chest stretching out that stained white t-shirt until it looked ready to burst a seam.

  The offer of beer surprised him. It seemed too casual for a business transaction, inappropriate in a way he couldn’t define. His dad always poured a glass of whiskey to seal a deal, but this was different.

  Danny’s mouth did that half-smile thing again, and Theo felt it low down in his hips. “Since it’s New Year’s Eve, and all.”

  Oh. Theo nodded. “Sure.”

  Danny popped the top off the beer and handed it over. Then he produced his own, and opened that too. “Cheers,” he said, gesturing with it. “Happy New Year.”

  “Happy New Year,” Theo echoed, tapping his bottle to Danny’s. The beer was cold against his palm, and bitter in his mouth. He watched Danny lift his own, the bob of Danny’s throat as he swallowed, and felt that convulsion of muscle run down his body like a phantom hand. It was too much to watch. He couldn’t look away. He felt like everything was out there on his face, this naked hunger that he had, until now, been able to keep hidden. Safe. Deep inside him where no-one could get at it.

  Why was he so raw tonight? Was it Ned and Tilly? The knowledge that even now Ned’s hands were touching hers, that she was smiling and he was smiling back. And at midnight, when they kissed under the bright flash of the fireworks, he’d know they were kissing in that moment and be unable to bear it.

  He scrubbed the back of his hand over his mouth. It must be that. He was wounded. There was no other reason why he’d feel spread open like this, exposed and vulnerable.

  “So, where are you supposed to be right now?” Danny asked.

  Theo cleared his throat. “Dallas is having a party in his brother’s penthouse. Last year there was burlesque. This year, who knows?”

  Danny’s eyebrows went up. “Sounds fun.”

  “It sounds like hell.” Theo took another pull of his beer, and picked up the clipboard as a distraction.

  Danny remained propped in the doorway, drinking his beer. It was so quiet Theo could hear every swallow that went down his throat, and imagined it. Touching his Adam’s apple as it bobbed under the skin. The taste of his neck, his sweat.

  Fuck, he was fantasizing about a guy’s neck, this was so pathetic.

  “Why don’t you wanna go to your party?” Danny asked, his tone one of calm disinterest.

  “No reason.”

  “Really.”

  He listened to the sound of sucking, of liquid sliding down a throat, and the smack of lips.

  “Sounds to me like your friend is throwing a hell of a party. Why would you pass that up?”

  Theo frowned and finished the last line of paperwork. Then he held out the clipboard between them. “It’s complicated.”

  “Usually when someone says that,” Danny observed, taking the clipboard and slinging it onto the desk, “it really isn’t.”

  “What makes you think I don’t want to go?” Theo demanded, clutching his beer until his fingers squeaked on the wet glass.

  Danny smiled that slow half-smile. “For one, you said yes to the beer. For two, you haven’t said a damn thing about needing to get out of here. I can drive you, you know. It’s part of the service.” He took a long pull of his drink, and licked his lips. “And for three, when I said, ‘Why don’t you wanna go to your party?’ you didn’t deny it. You just said, ‘No reason.’ So. Why don’t you want to go to the party, Theo? What’s wrong?”

  Fuck. Theo couldn’t take it, too tired of keeping it secret. “It’s N— two of my friends. They’re probably hooking up tonight.”

  “And?”

  Theo shook his head. “You know ‘Mr Brightside’?”

  “The Killers’ song?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. It’s like that.” And that was all he could say, the closest he could get to admitting it, even to a total stranger. God, what was wrong with him?

  But Danny didn’t judge him. All he did was cock his head, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully. “Does he know?”

  “Ned?” Immediately he wanted the name back, but it was too late.

  Danny nodded, slowly. “That you’re into him.”

  It was like bursting a bubble. The secret, out. The thing he’d been wanting to tell someone, anyone, for so long. He’d tried, but no-one had been listening. No-one. Until Danny.

  And Danny was watching him, a tiny spark of something in his eyes that might have been victory.

  Still. Theo was stubborn at his core. “Why would you think I was—” he started, but Danny didn’t let him finish.

  “C’mon, man,” he said, his voice this low down, intimate thing that invited Theo in close. “We both know.”

  He’d been hiding this from everyone, from Ned, from Tilly—from Dallas, for Christ’s sake. From his dad. Oh God, from his mom. And Danny, a guy who’d known him for less than an hour, had seen it immediately, prising it out of him like a thief stealing a diamond from its setting.

  What would Danny do with this information? Theo was entirely at the mercy of a stranger, a man he didn’
t dare to trust. And they were alone.

  His whole body felt frozen solid but hot with shame and longing. Because as much as he feared what Danny might do, the thought of Danny’s hands on him, even if they hurt him, was unbearable.

  Then Danny put down his beer and reached up to touch Theo’s neck, skating cold damp fingers up under his jaw. “It’s okay,” he said, soft now. “You don’t gotta pretend with me,” and the sheer relief of it was like breaking the surface of the sea, finally able to breathe.

  Danny

  Danny didn’t plan on touching him. He’d told himself he wouldn’t, over and over, but then Theo looked so distressed, like his world was caving in, and Danny hadn’t had any choice.

  “You don’t gotta pretend with me,” he said, fingering the soft edge of Theo’s face, shaven smooth and clean. Theo’s eyes fluttered closed and he tipped his cheek into Danny’s hand, so sweet and so vulnerable that Danny couldn’t help but tuck his fingers into the hollow behind his jaw, below his ear, and reel him in.

  Theo’s lip was cold, bitter with beer, but the inside of it flashed warm in Danny’s mouth, and the tiny sound he made traced a ghostly finger down Danny’s belly to tease at his balls.

  God, he wanted. But what he wanted was more than this messed up kid could take. Plus, Theo was obviously crazy about his friend, couldn’t bear to watch him hooking up and so was hiding here in Danny’s dad’s garage, kissing someone he barely knew. Didn’t know well enough to know better.

  Danny exhaled and pulled reluctantly away. “You’re gonna be fine,” he said, but Theo reached out, fisting a hand in Danny’s t-shirt.

  “Don’t,” he said, his eyes begging. God, they were dark, rich dark brown, his lashes long and thick. Danny wasn’t made of stone, was already melting when Theo said, “Please,” in such a desperately needy voice that Danny gave in.

  He surged forward, carrying Theo up against the desk. Their mouths crashed together, and he pushed his way between Theo’s lips, sinking his tongue in deep to pry him open. Theo surrendered so easily, dropping back onto the desk and letting Danny bear him down. His body was taut, fraught with a tension that Danny longed to wind tight enough to snap, to wring out of him in long, slow strokes. Fuck. He wanted to fuck Theo, right here on the desk. He wanted—

  It didn’t matter what he wanted. He couldn’t have what he wanted.

  Theo moaned under him, his fingernails clawing at Danny’s chest, scoring him through his t-shirt. Danny grabbed his wrist and shoved him down, pinning him to the desk. Theo panted up at him, his mouth a red, wet, mess, eyes wide and needy, and he looked so completely ready to be debauched that Danny felt his resolve stretch thin.

  He couldn’t. Theo was a customer. He was heartbroken. He was probably in the closet.

  But. He wasn’t drunk, and he wasn’t a kid, and his eyes pleaded with Danny: Take me, please, I want you and I don’t know how to tell you.

  Not enough. Danny needed to hear it. He twisted his grip on Theo’s wrists, hurting him just a little, but not enough to bruise his delicate skin. “What do you want, Theo? Want me to take you home?”

  “Yeah,” Theo said, low down and rough, and for a moment Danny thought that was it, a brush off, but then— “Take me home with you and…and whatever you want.”

  It was too big an offer. “Whatever I want?”

  Theo nodded, raking his lip with his too-straight too-white teeth. “Anything. Just…don’t stop.”

  Anything. The thought of it was sobering—'anything' was something people said when they didn’t know what ‘anything’ was.

  Theo was a virgin, Danny knew with a sudden, painful clarity. At least, in all the ways that mattered. He had no idea just how badly Danny could hurt him if he wanted.

  And Danny wanted to, of course he did. A pretty little rich boy begging him for his cock, completely unaware of what he was begging for?

  It was a cruel aphrodisiac. Danny knew he shouldn’t say yes to this, he should stop, back off, tell Theo to go home and jerk off and…and what? That his friend would come around? That there were other fish in the sea?

  Danny had hesitated too long; Theo flopped back on the desk and covered his face with one hand. “Fuck,” he whispered to no-one. “Fuck. Fuck.”

  “What?” Danny demanded, still wavering.

  “I’m so fucking stupid. I thought…but you don’t want me either.”

  He sounded broken, like he was on the edge of tearing himself to pieces, and like that Danny’s mind was made up.

  He shoved Theo’s thighs apart, rocking against his hips. “Does that feel like I don’t want you?”

  Theo’s eyes flew open and he gasped, clearly feeling the hard bulge of Danny’s cock pressed up to him. His thighs spread wide, making room for Danny to shove up against him. “Fuck,” he whispered, but this time the tone was very different.

  “Answer the question,” Danny growled, rutting into him again.

  Theo moaned, his hips stuttering up. “Yes. I mean no.”

  “That’s right.” Danny thrust up against him again. “I’m just trying to decide what I’m going to do with you. How rough you can take it.”

  It was like he’d touched Theo with a live wire; his body convulsed, tensing up all over at, what? The idea of rough sex? “I can,” he promised, straining against Danny’s hands for a moment. “Anything, I swear.”

  “No you can’t.” Danny squeezed Theo’s wrists when he began to protest. “You’ve never even taken a cock before, have you?”

  Theo shook his head, his mouth wrenched in dismay.

  “You’ve never sucked one either.” Another sharp shake of the head. “And you think you can take all of this?” Danny rubbed his hard length against the hardness in Theo’s jeans, enjoying the friction. “You’re out of your goddamn mind.”

  “I can try,” Theo said, a stubborn set to his expressive mouth. Danny liked it too much to censure him for it, and anyway, Theo wasn’t his. Not yet. Maybe not ever but certainly not right now.

  Danny wrapped a hand around Theo’s throat, leaning on him just enough to threaten. “Is this really what you want?”

  Theo nodded and gasped, “Please!”

  Fuck. Danny bent over him and bit his lip, hard. “I do like the sound of you begging,” he murmured, feeling the shudder of Theo’s body as his breath ran ragged in his chest.

  Danny straightened up, hooking his fingers in the sparkly collar at Theo’s throat. “Take this off. Now.”

  It was gratifying how quickly Theo did as he was told, dropping the collar on the desk and leaning up on his elbows. Danny stepped away from him, turning his back, but he paused in the doorway to crook his fingers.

  “Come,” he said.

  He didn’t check to see if Theo obeyed him; he could feel Theo’s hungry eyes on his back. Might as well give him something to look at. Danny stripped his t-shirt as he walked up the stairs, tossing it aside.

  The upstairs apartment had been his dad’s, back in the day. He’d grown up here, familiar with it, and never found it lacking before now. Enzo had bought the house on Simpson Street, moved Pop out there a couple of years back, and now this was Danny’s, in all its squalid glory. He wondered how it looked to someone like Theo, if he saw the stains on the carpet, the dust, the grease coating the kitchen light fittings. Everything in it was cheap, in the way that Danny was cheap, but he didn’t care. If Theo ran now then he was a fucking coward who cared more about plush-pile and leather seating than he did about getting laid.

  Danny stopped there in the living room, waited until he heard the scrape of a boot on the step, and turned.

  Theo was so fucking beautiful it was like watching a fashion plate come to life. He walked into Danny’s living room with this slow slink, as if he was drunk or already fucked six ways to Sunday. Orange streetlight through the blinds caught the highlights of his face, the artificial brightness of his hair, the wet shine of his lip. He was still holding his beer, and he set it down without looking, crossing the floor with
a look of pure want in his narrow, dark-lashed eyes.

  The moment he was within arm’s reach Danny caught him by the hips and dragged him in. He went easily, let Danny put him where he wanted him. Danny took his mouth again, tasting him over and over, licking into and claiming him. Theo let it happen, not completely passive but so easy. He let Danny gather him up in his arms, let Danny tilt his head back, let Danny have him how he wanted, his fingers clutching at Danny’s ribs. His hands were tentative, and then desperate, and he ground his cock against Danny’s thigh, his body straining with urgency.

  It was such a turn on to have him here, in this dingy fucking room, everything about him so clean and expensive and perfect. Danny wanted to mess him up, get him all dirty. Show him that no matter how clean and expensive he was, when it came down to it all he needed was Danny’s cock. He wanted Theo to beg for it, keen for it like he was dying, like he needed it.

  “Tell me you want it,” Danny whispered in Theo’s ear. “Tell me you need my cock.”

  “I n-need your cock,” Theo said, only stuttering a little.

  Good enough. “Then get down on your knees and take it.”

  The next moment stretched out forever, in it a silence so pure Danny thought he should be able to hear Theo’s heartbeat.

  Then he caught the soft click of Theo’s throat, and his breath stilled as Theo knelt on the floor.

  Theo

  Kneeling for Danny felt strange. It was like nothing Theo had ever done before. Abase himself in front of a stranger? Fuck, no. If his dad had seen—

  But his dad wasn’t here, and if he had been the kneeling wouldn’t be the worst thing Theo had done for Danny tonight. Or meant to do yet.

  Because kneeling for Danny felt oddly right. Danny rubbed his fingers through Theo’s hair and it made his skin shudder, all the way down his back.

  “Fuck. You’re beautiful down there.”

  Theo shuddered, unable to explain even to himself why that affected him so bad. He wanted it again, but he didn’t know how to get it, so he just looked up at Danny, at his handsome face bathed in orange street light through the windows and said, “I’m ready.”