Rise

by Heather MacKinnon

   I staggered toward him on shaky legs. “No. Abraham, no. That’s not it at all.”

   He sighed and spun around to pace again. “Then, what is it? After everything we’ve been though, why are you still doubting us?”

   I sighed, and my shoulders fell. “Because it didn’t make sense. We never made sense.”

   He shot a narrow-eyed look my way. “Nothing has ever made more sense in my life.”

   My heart twisted, and I tried again. “Abraham, I’ve let logic rule my life for so long and I can’t just turn that off. I knew what my heart was telling me, but I didn’t trust it. Not completely.”

   He took a step toward me. “And what was your heart telling you?”

   I closed the distance between us and took both his hands in mine. “That I love you more than I could ever have imagined. That I never want to be anywhere but at your side. That you’re it for me and nothing can change that.”

   He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before letting it out. “That’s good to hear at least,” he said softly.

   “You know what my biggest fear was?”

   He shook his head, but still wouldn’t meet my eyes. “What?”

   “What if we weren’t fated and your real mate showed up one day? What if I poured my heart and soul into a relationship and then I lost you in the end? I couldn’t go through that, Abraham. I wouldn’t survive it.”

   He finally looked at me, his eyes as tortured as I felt.

   “This never had anything to do with not wanting to be with you. In fact, it was the exact opposite. I wanted to be with you so bad, I went looking for reasons to believe we were fated.”

   “And what did you find?”

   I sighed and looked away. “I didn’t find anything. No one has ever heard of what’s happened between us.”

   He pulled me closer. “And you still stayed? Even though you couldn’t make sense of it?”

   I looked deep into his dark blue eyes, making sure he felt every word I was about to say. “Of course I stayed. I’d never leave.”

   He closed his eyes again before tugging me into his chest. “I wish you’d told me you were having doubts, El. I deserved to know something like that,” he said, his voice rumbling through his chest.

   I sighed and nodded as I squeezed him back. “I know. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to hurt you.” I pulled away so I could look at him again. “I thought if I could find proof on my own, I could put all my questions to rest and just be with you the way I always wanted to. With no regrets. With no doubts. With nothing but this crazy, limitless love I have for you.”

   His eyes softened before he dipped his head and pressed his lips against mine. “I love you too, baby,” he whispered against my mouth.

   I smiled before reaching up and deepening the kiss. When we were both out of breath, he pulled away and looked down at me. His eyes were wary, and I reached up to smooth the lines between his eyebrows.

   “Does this mean you’ll marry me now?”

   My heart all but stopped at his words. I was so shocked by them, I couldn’t even form thoughts for a moment.

   “What?” was the only thing I was finally able to force past my numb lips.

   He was silent, his Adam’s apple bobbing before he finally spoke. “I know you wanted to put off our ceremony because you doubted what we were. Now that you know, now that it’s clear we’re fated and meant to be together, what’s stopping us?”

   What was stopping us?

   What was stopping me?

   My hang ups had all been based on human expectations. In the world I grew up in, you didn’t marry a man after only having known him a few months. Not unless you were irresponsible or drunk.

   But that wasn’t my world anymore. This was. This world of myths, and legends, and werewolves, and magic. This was where I belonged now, and it came with a whole new set of rules.

   This new world also came with a new set of expectations.

   Fated mates didn’t wait to get married. Hell, Abraham’s parents got hitched after only knowing each other for a week. If that was the norm, Abraham, and I had practically been together for years by now.

   Could I do this?

   Could I set aside my human reservations and give him what he wanted?

   For that matter, what did I want?

   Did I want to be married? Did I want to have this mating ceremony with him? Did I want to make what we had official?

   The questions were numerous, but the answer to all of them was the same.

   Yes.

   I wanted to be with Abraham for the rest of my life.

   When you find that one person in the whole world that was made just for you, why would you wait to make your union official? What could possibly stop me now?

   But then I remembered the three little secrets I’d been hiding and knew what I had to do.

   “Abraham, there’s something I need to tell you.”

   He frowned. “Okay,” he said, dragging out the word.

   I sighed and looked away. “Well, I think I need to apologize first.”

   I could almost hear his brain churning from where I stood. He looked at me, confusion clouding his blue eyes. “What could you possibly have to apologize for?”

   I sighed again and fisted my hands at my sides. “I lied to you. When I told you what Doc Monroe said about why I’ve been sick, it was a lie.”

   His frown deepened, and in the next instant, and he pulled me into his arms. “What does that mean? What’s wrong with you then? Are you okay?”

   I placed my hands on his chest and felt his heart hammering inside his ribcage. I smoothed a wrinkle in his shirt and kept my eyes trained there. “I’m okay. There’s nothing wrong with me. It’s something else.”

   He grasped my chin between his fingers and tilted my face to his. “What is it, El? Please. I can’t take this. I need to know what’s going on with you.”

   I sighed and let my eyes fall closed.

   I didn’t know how he was going to react to this news.

   I didn’t know if he was going to be happy or upset. He’d said he couldn’t wait to be a dad, but I didn’t think he ever expected that to happen so soon. What if he wasn’t really ready? What if he didn’t want the babies like I did?

   Because I wanted them. So badly. With every fiber of my being, I wanted them. I wanted to meet them and love them and do everything I could to give them the life I never had.

   Now, all I needed to do was make sure their dad was on board.

   But I didn’t know how to tell him. I didn’t think it was something you could just blurt out, but I also knew he wasn’t the type of man who appreciated when you beat around the bush. I decided to start at the beginning and hope I did it right.

   I took a step away from him and crossed my arms over my chest, hoping it would protect me from what was coming next.

   “So, you know how I’ve been throwing up a lot lately?” He nodded, and I pressed on. “Well, I’ve also not really had much of an appetite. All of a sudden, things I used to love smelled and tasted awful. At first, I thought it was because you were gone. When I lived in Raleigh and had to spend the week without you, it was always like that.”

   He nodded, his eyes still wary. “It’s the same for me.”

   I nodded. “Right. But the problem was that when you came back, I was still getting sick. I was still throwing up and foods still tasted all wrong. On top of that, I’ve been so over emotional, I’m almost sick of myself at this point. Every little thing brings tears to my eyes and I’m not normally like that.”

   He shook his head. “No, you’re not.”

   I took a deep breath and let my hands fall to my sides. “Well, it turns out my IUD moved out of place. Doreen thinks it must have happened during one of my shifts. She said IUDs aren’t a method that werewolves use for birth control because our whole anatomy moves
around, and they can come dislodged. And, well, mine did.”

   His frown deepened. “So, you’ve been sick because of your IUD?”

   I shook my head. “No. But the IUD had a lot to do with it.”

   He sighed and crossed the distance between us to grasp my arms. “El, just tell me. Please. I’m dying here.”

   I took another deep breath and let it out slowly. This was Abraham. The most amazing man I’d ever known. I could tell him this. I could trust him.

   I looked up and smiled. “Well, I guess the IUD hasn’t been working properly for a while now and the thing we were trying to prevent happened.”

   His eyes widened, mouth falling open the smallest bit. “El. What are you saying?”

   I looked away and took another fortifying breath before meeting his gaze head on. “I’m saying that I’m pregnant.”

  Chapter 46

   “What?” he whispered so softly I almost missed it.

   I kept my eyes glued to his, waiting to see what his reaction would be. “I found out yesterday that I’m pregnant. That’s what’s been going on with me. I’m not sick, I’m just pregnant.”

   “Just pregnant?” he deadpanned.

   I shrugged. “You know what I mean.”

   He shook his head, his hands gripping my arms hard enough to almost be painful. Finally, he met my gaze again. “Are you sure?”

   I nodded, my lips twitching with a smile. “I got to see their heartbeats yesterday.”

   His eyes widened again before he released me and took a step back. Shock was painted across his features and I imagined he looked a lot like I did when I got the news. He ran a rough hand through his dark hair before he looked at me again. “You’re really pregnant?”

   I shrugged and held my arms at my sides. “I’m really pregnant.”

   His Adam’s apple bobbed as his eyes traveled from my face to my stomach. With halting steps, he crossed the distance between us. When he reached me, he dropped to his knees and reached up with shaking hands to cup my still-flat tummy. He looked at me, his eyes filled with tears which signaled my own to start watering.

   “You’re having my babies?” he asked softly.

   I laughed as my nose burned and tears cascaded down my face. “Yeah, I am.”

   He shook his head and looked at my stomach again, almost as if he could see through the tissue and muscle to the babies beneath. His thumbs rubbed circles across my jeans and my heart pounded with the tender way he held me.

   Finally, he shook his head and jumped to his feet. Grabbing my hand, he began dragging me toward the door. “Let’s go.”

   I struggled to keep up with his long stride. “Where are we going?”

   He raced through the sitting room and out into the hall. “We’re going to see Doc Monroe. Right now.”

   “Why? Abraham, it’s eight at night. Can’t this wait until morning?”

   He shook his head and pulled me down the stairs after him. “No. I need to see my babies tonight.”

   My heart filled with so much love as the tears welled in my eyes again. However, he was about to pull my arm from the socket with his eagerness to get to the doctor’s house. Finally, I dug my heels into the carpet and pulled my arm out of his grip.

   He turned to me with wide eyes. “What’s going on? Why are we stopping?”

   I rotated my shoulder and winced. “You were pulling on my arm, Abraham. Just slow down. We’ll get there.”

   His eyes filled with remorse as he walked back to my side. He wrapped a hand around my strained shoulder. “I’m so sorry, baby. I don’t know what I was thinking. I won’t let it happen again.”

   I shrugged. “It’s fine. I’m all right.”

   He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “Maybe I should just carry you down there.”

   I laughed and slapped his chest. “I can walk, Abraham, you just don’t need to drag me.”

   He gave me a sheepish smile as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me down the hall at a much more reasonable pace. “Did you really get to see their heartbeats?”

   I smiled up at him. “Yeah, I did.”

   He sighed and shook his head. “Lucky.”

   I laughed as he led me out the back door and across the field to the road that led to the pack houses. When we got to the first one, Abraham left my side to race ahead and pound on their door. Kyle Monroe answered with a confused look on his face until he saw me walking up his front path. Then his eyes darted between me and Abraham as his lips curled into a smile.

   “I’m guessing you told him.”

   I shrugged. “Yeah, it was time.”

   He turned back to Abraham and wrapped him in a tight hug, both men slapping each other on the back. “Congratulations, Abraham. I couldn’t be happier for the two of you.”

   Abraham grabbed my hand when I was close enough and kissed it. “I was hoping I could see the babies tonight.”

   Doc Monroe nodded and waved us inside. “Of course. Let me get Doreen.”

   We stood in their living room while the couple prepared the room for us. Abraham squeezed my hand again, and I looked up at him.

   “Isn’t it so lucky we have an obstetric nurse practitioner in our pack?” he asked. “She’ll be able to monitor you during the whole pregnancy. Not all werewolf mothers are as lucky. We can’t go to regular hospitals, and if there are no members of their pack or friendly neighboring packs that can take care of them, they have to do it on their own.”

   I nodded slowly. “That’s why you offered Adam and Maggie to have Doreen look at her.”

   “It was the first checkup she’d received. Thankfully, werewolves are healthy and don’t normally have complications with pregnancies, but there’s always a chance. I’ll feel so much better knowing you’ll be taken care of the whole time.”

   That made two of us.

   I couldn’t imagine how hard it would have been if I couldn’t receive medical care during my pregnancy. How did those women do it?

   “Ellie?” Doreen called from the opening of the hallway, and we both turned to her. “We’re ready. Come on back.”

   I led Abraham down the hall to the exam room I’d been in last time. She instructed me to get naked again, and I almost had to kick Abraham out of the room. It took me twice as long because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. When I was finally ready for them, Abraham opened the door and called for Doreen.

   She came in with a huge smile on her face. “I’m so glad to see you two back here. Kyle says you want to see the babies again?”

   I nodded my head toward Abraham. “I don’t think he’ll really believe me until he can see them for himself.”

   He scoffed and grabbed my hand. “I believe you. I just want to see my babies.”

   My heart melted at his words. He kept calling them his babies. How had I ever gotten so lucky? Why had I questioned for even a minute how he would react to this news? I should have known he’d be ecstatic. Over the moon. Absolutely crazy about hearing we were going to be parents.

   Doreen got the machine running and held up the same wand as last time. “You remember the drill?” she asked.

   I nodded. “Go ahead.”

   She talked me through her movements until we had an image on the monitor. Abraham practically climbed on top of me to get closer to the screen.

   “If you can see that, there are three gestational sacs in there.”

   Abraham’s eyes grew wide. “Does that mean there are three babies?”

   Doreen nodded as she clicked around some more. “That’s right. And it looks like all their heartbeats are well over one-forty which is great. I don’t know if Elizabeth told you this or not, but she’s about seven and a half weeks pregnant by now.”

   Abraham’s eyes were still glued to the screen as he shook his head. “No, she didn’t tell me. What does tha
t mean?”

   Doreen printed out a couple pictures before removing the wand and setting it aside. She handed the black and white images to Abraham who took them with shaking hands.

   “It just means she’s about halfway through her first trimester. It’s the hardest, so she’s going to need the most support right now.”

   Abraham looked from me to Doreen before taking the free chair in the room. “I want to know everything.”

   I laughed, but I could tell he was serious. He really did want to know everything he could about what was going on with me. If I wasn’t already crazy in love with this man, I would have been by then.

   Doreen spent the next half hour going over more information than I ever imagined. She covered everything from what I could and couldn’t eat, to the medications I was allowed to take, to the symptoms I could expect in the coming weeks. I’d already experienced most of them, so that wasn’t news to me, but the rest was eye-opening.

   “Also,” she continued, her gaze wary as it landed on me. “We recommend you shift as little as possible from here on out. Of course, you’ll have to shift at every full moon, but you should try to limit it to then only.”

   I frowned. “Why?”

   “It’s not like there have been studies on pregnant werewolves or anything, but we like to advise against shifting as often as possible. It puts a lot of strain on your body that is already working really hard to grow these little lives. If you can abstain, we recommend that you do so.”

   My spirits sank as my mind ran though the repercussions.

   That meant no more training with Bea.

   That meant no more runs through the woods.

   That meant no more feeling the freedom of my wolf except at the full moon.

   I sighed and accepted my fate. The lives of the babies were more important than my love of being a wolf. I could go for eight months with only shifting at the full moon. I’d just have to take advantage of those nights every month.

   I nodded. “Okay, I got it. No more shifting unless absolutely necessary.”

   Doreen smiled and patted my leg. “Other than that, try to eat as healthy as you can and stay hydrated. I know it’s difficult while you’re getting sick so often, so don’t be too hard on yourself. You can only do your best and your babies are going to be just fine.”