In Too Deep

by Taryn Belle

  But Nicola needn’t have been told. She knew all too well what the need to leave the spotlight felt like, and she had no interest in trying to associate with anyone simply because they were well-known. So when Alex pulled up to his brother’s house, she was only vaguely curious about what the inside looked like—which was perhaps why the unexpected luxury of it took her breath away.

  Unlike many of the island’s massive two-or three-story homes, Tortoise Point was built in the style of a sprawling rancher. As a result the outside looked rather simple and understated, but once inside, Nicola could see that the home had been designed to follow the line of the beach, which started about five steps beyond the house. The entrance to the home was at its midpoint, so looking in both directions, the house went on as far as the eye could see. On the right a row of motel-like doors opened to a huge open piazza. Opposite the doors, thick metal rods ran the entire length of the space. Each rod was draped with white curtains that Nicola imagined usually blew gently in the breeze, but which were being secured against the increasingly blustery winds by a housekeeper even as Nicola watched. To the left was a sitting room featuring massive white sofas and a series of crystal chandeliers, beyond which Nicola could see an impossibly large dining room with a dark wood table at center stage. She counted ten chairs placed around the part of the table she could actually see. Outside, an infinity pool lay at the feet of a crop of palm trees whose trunks were encircled with sparkly white lights. A full bar and buffet table had been set up on the sand, each canopied with white canvas and manned by a staff of three. Were it not for the occasional leaf being ripped off a palm tree and tossed through the air by the wind, the picture would have been perfect.

  “Wow,” Nicola couldn’t help breathing to Alex.

  “I know, right?” Alex responded, holding tightly to her waist. “It’s quite the place. Dev even had his own studio built in the back.”

  Nicola thought she heard a note of pride in Alex’s voice. She liked that—that he was secure enough in himself to be happy for his brother’s success. She gave his hand a squeeze as she gazed around the room.

  The party was in full swing. Raised voices competed with laid-back rap music over the speaker system. Throngs of beautiful people sat in conversation groups or floated by with cocktails. Many of them were dressed in understated but expensive designer clothing, but Nicola noticed that some of the women wore nothing more formal than skirts or shorts with bikini tops. She realized then that it was because of the expected rain tonight—a Moretta party tradition she’d never taken part in. She did a quick mental check of her own outfit—bought at Forever 21, she couldn’t help thinking with a private chuckle—and was glad she’d chosen it over the bolder little black dress she’d almost worn, which would have felt much too dressy among this crowd.

  “Let’s get a drink,” Alex said, steering her toward the bar. Nicola happily obliged, glad to have Alex by her side. She wasn’t too proud to admit that this crowd intimidated her a bit, and she still held a lingering fear that someone might recognize her and call her out—though she knew it was unlikely. All the same, she kicked herself for not having come clean to Alex before nerves had taken over, burying her courage in doubt.

  “I hope you’re not the type of guy to leave a girl stranded at a party,” Nicola joked as Alex handed her a glass of white wine. The wind blew some sand into her eyes, so she turned her face quickly to the side. Alex moved to shield her from the worst of it. “Because I don’t think I have too much in common with my fellow guests.”

  “You and me both,” Alex said, sipping his martini.

  “Then you clearly haven’t noticed all the women here who are drooling over you,” Nicola said, lifting her chin toward a group of females gathered close by. Two of the women were staring straight at Alex as if they wanted to eat him alive, not even trying to be subtle about it. When Alex glanced over at them, they both gave him a suggestive smile as if Nicola wasn’t standing beside him with her arm hooked around his waist.

  Alex gave them a polite nod, and then he turned toward Nicola and pulled her close to him. Then his lips came down on hers in a deep kiss while his hands went to her ass and squeezed. Nicola kissed him back passionately. If that didn’t send a message to the circling vultures, Nicola wasn’t sure what would.

  “You’re the only woman I want,” Alex said, touching his forehead to hers. “Got that?”

  Nicola’s belly flipped over. Only woman I want. It felt incredible to hear him say it, even if she knew better than to read anything into it.

  “Besides, I’m just sloppy seconds to my brother. Speaking of which...” Alex said. Nicola looked over her shoulder to see Dev strolling toward them with a beer in hand...and about eight drop-dead gorgeous women in tow.

  “Little brother,” Dev said, holding his hand up in the air for a bro-shake.

  “Happy birthday, Devy. Great party, if you can get past the hurricane that’s about to wipe it out.”

  “Riiight...” Dev replied distractedly, his eyes having already settled on Nicola. “And this would be...?”

  “Nicola,” Alex said, pulling her close again. “The best thing that’s ever happened to me on a business trip.”

  “I’ll say,” Dev said appreciatively, and then he tilted his head to the side. “Don’t I know you?” he asked Nicola.

  Her heart dropped. “I work at the scuba shack,” she said quickly as her pulse hammered. No. Anyone but his own brother. Please, God, no. “I’m an instructor,” she added brightly.

  “Oh, yeah...” Dev said slowly, but his face didn’t clear entirely.

  Nicola turned toward Alex. “Hey, you know what? I’m starving. Could we get something to eat?” She gave Dev a quick smile. “Happy birthday, Dev. It was nice to meet you.” She was already pulling Alex away.

  “Wow,” Alex said when he caught up to her. “Forget to eat today, or just sick of being undressed by my brother’s eyes?”

  Nicola laughed nervously. “Just hungry, that’s all.” She grabbed two plates, passed one to Alex and started loading hers up, trying to calm the rapid pounding of her heart. This was officially getting weird, and very stressful—she had to tell him the truth.

  “Nicola!”

  At the sound of her name, Nicola turned and saw Kiki hurrying through the crowd toward her. Nicola smiled broadly—a friendly, familiar face was just what she needed right now. “You made it!”

  “Juan let me leave. Can you believe it? Maybe it had something to do with me threatening to tell the world about his knitting habit if he didn’t.”

  Nicola stared at her. “Knitting habit?”

  “Forget it. Actually, the bar was dead because of the coming storm. Can you believe this place?” Kiki threw her arms out as Nicola felt a drop of rain hit her head, and then another. She glanced up at the sky, which had turned a threatening charcoal color, but Kiki didn’t even seem to notice. Maybe that was what two years of living on a Caribbean island did to you, Nicola thought—major tropical storms just became the norm. “Where’s Dev?” Kiki asked excitedly. “Have you met him yet? Can you swing me an intro?”

  Kiki’s eyes were sparkling, and Nicola hated to tell her she needed to talk to Alex before she was willing to get near Dev again. She turned to look for Alex, but he was at the end of the buffet table chatting with a pale-skinned gentleman. “Just a minute. Let me get Alex—he can introduce you.”

  “Sure thing. I’ll go get a drink.” Kiki walked over to the bar, seemingly unconcerned that not only was the rain ruining her blowout, but that she was also completely on her own at a “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” party. Sometimes Nicola envied her friend’s confidence.

  Nicola walked up behind Alex, grateful for the canopy’s shelter from the rain. Then she touched his arm to let him know she was there, not wanting to interrupt his conversation. He smiled at her and closed his hand over hers. “Nicola, this is John. And his
associate, Larry,” Alex added, gesturing toward a second man standing behind John.

  “Nice to meet you,” she said, extending her hand to John. Unsmilingly, he gave her a limp shake. He was extremely thin and had greasy hair. His fly was open. But worse than that was his ice-cold vibe, making Nicola wonder how Alex knew him. She turned to the second man to offer him a handshake, too, but he’d already looked away from her in favor of his cell phone.

  “We were just getting down to a little business talk,” Alex added, and then Nicola put two and two together. This had to be the man Alex had come here to meet, and now that he had his ear he didn’t want to lose it. Nicola was happy to leave them to it, as the man’s pale blue eyes boring into her face were making her uncomfortable. “That’s fine. Kiki just got here, so I’ll go—”

  “Nicola Metcalfe?” John said to her suddenly, and her stomach did a sick flop. How the hell could this creepy guy possibly know my name?

  “Yes,” she said, her voice catching in her throat.

  He nodded. “Thought so. I guess you had to wind up somewhere. You picked a nice place, no? Lots of stars to choose from here.”

  His voice came out flat, like he could care less that he’d just ripped Nicola’s world apart. She swallowed hard. She could feel Alex’s eyes on the side of her face, burning with questions.

  “Nicola?” Alex asked. His voice sounded far away, like he was in a tunnel. “Do you know John?”

  “No,” Nicola managed to get out. “But clearly he knows me. Excuse me.”

  She turned quickly before Alex could protest and hurried away. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked around wildly, wondering where to go. The rain was coming down harder now, but she wasn’t about to go running through a houseful of strangers in this state when she didn’t even know where the bathrooms were. She hadn’t brought her own golf cart here, so she couldn’t go home. She needed a place that was dark and deserted so she could collapse in peace. Straight ahead beyond the pool house, she could see an unoccupied area at the base of a rocky outcrop, so she headed in that direction.

  “Nicola! Nicola!”

  She could hear Alex calling behind her, but she didn’t stop. If only she’d told him when she had the chance. Now he’d think she was trying to hide it, and even brand-new romances were built on trust.

  Nicola was almost at the base of the cliff. The party noise was fading behind her as the rain drenched her hair and clothing—

  “Nicola, stop! Please!” Alex’s hand was on her arm, spinning her toward him. She yanked it out of his grip and backed away from him a few steps. As the rain poured down between them, she heard a thunderclap in the distance.

  “I’m sorry,” she said above the din. “I was going to tell you. I should have done it today, but...” She took a swipe at her leaking eyes. “I chickened out.”

  Alex stepped toward her. “It’s all right. You can tell me anything, okay? Let’s just get out of the rain.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not going back in there.”

  “You don’t have to. Over here.” Alex walked over to a dry area at the base of the cliff, sheltered by the rocky outcrop, and ducked under it. With the rain now coming down in buckets, Nicola had little choice but to follow. She joined him, wrapping her arms around her legs as she huddled as far away from Alex as the small space would allow. She couldn’t imagine how she must look—mascara streaked down her face, hair stuck to her scalp—but that was the least of her concerns. She stared out their little cave for a moment, watching the rain come down in an almost solid sheet as she tried to plan her opening words.

  “I’m here for you,” Alex said, turning his body toward hers. He had to raise his voice to be heard over the noise of the downpour. “Just tell me what you need to say.”

  “I can’t,” she said, shaking her head wildly. “You’ll think I’m not the person you believed I was.”

  Alex held his palms up. “My mind is open. I promise not to judge you. Just tell me.”

  Nicola took a couple of deep breaths, but a fresh wave of tears flooded her eyes. Just then the rain started to let up a little, making conversation easier—as if cuing her that it was now or never.

  Nicola closed her eyes and began to speak. “Remember how I told you I was a teacher in my previous life? The reason I left it all behind to come here was because I was fired.”

  “Okay,” Alex said levelly.

  Nicola squeezed her eyes closed tighter. “The reason I got fired was because my school—it was a private school—decided I was unfit to teach young children. It was the most painful thing I’ve ever been through. I loved those kids...” She sniffed and took another futile wipe at her eyes. “I guess you don’t pay a lot of attention to celebrity news?”

  Alex was silent for a beat before he said, “Not in general.”

  “Didn’t think so. Well, Matthew Beck had his son enrolled at my school. Oliver—I taught him first grade. He was a wonderful kid, but he had severe ADHD, so he was often disruptive in class and needed a lot of extra attention. Matthew’s wife—Elsa—was off shooting a film in Argentina, so Matthew was the one I was communicating with. He had to come into the school for several meetings, and we sort of bonded because my mother had severe ADHD, too. She didn’t know it then, but it’s what made it so hard for her to hold down a job. She loved us kids, but she had a very tough time. That’s why we moved around so much and never had any money. My father was a lazy son of a bitch who rarely even tried to find work. And he...” She trailed off. One story at a time—if she could bring herself to tell that part of it.

  Outside their cave, a flash of lightning lit up the night, followed by a rumble of thunder in the distance. Alex reached for her hand. “It’s okay,” he said soothingly.

  Nicola took a breath and continued. “Matthew is one of the biggest stars in Hollywood, so the paparazzi was on his every move. He’d gotten a court order to keep them away from the school, but they still surrounded it just outside the boundary. I used to see them camped out on my way to school every day. It was—” she shook her head “—pathetic. That so much time was spent trying to get a stupid picture of some guy just trying to get his kid to school.” She took a gulp of air. “Anyway, it’s not surprising that photographers got wind of a young female teacher he was spending a lot of time with. One day we were out on the playground after school. It had been a particularly bad day for Oliver, and Matthew was at his wits’ end. I offered him some comfort, and he put his hand on my arm to say thank you. The next week a friend called to tell me she’d seen a picture of Matthew and me on an entertainment news show. ‘Celebrity Life, America’s number one source for entertainment news,’” Nicola quoted sarcastically. “They reported that Elsa was away and that the couple was having marital problems. Then I made the mistake of walking Oliver to Matthew’s car one day. Matthew got out of his car, and I had my hand on Oliver’s back because he was feeling agitated. A few days later the same show ran a story with a photo of us looking—” Nicola used her fingers to put quotes in the air “‘—very cozy on a family outing with Elsa nowhere in sight.’

  “That was it. A bunch of ‘sources’ popped up claiming Matthew and Elsa had been having problems for years, and that Elsa was saying this might be the last straw. Others claimed that Matthew had confided his feelings for me in them, and that he was plotting to leave Elsa and get custody of Oliver. It was a mess, but then it got messier.”

  Nicola felt Alex pat her hand reassuringly, but she gave it a quick squeeze and then released it. The worst was still to come, and she didn’t want to feel him pull away from her when she finally said the words.

  “I won’t lie to you. After getting to know Matthew, I developed some feelings for him that were less than professional. I kept it to myself, though, determined not to play to the media or be responsible for the breakup of a marriage. But one day in my classroom, Matthew admitted he had feelings for me. And
then he kissed me—it was just a chaste kiss. We were on school property after all, but I still let him do it. And I guess the paparazzi didn’t care about the court order anymore, because they managed to get a blurry photo of us through the window. That’s when Matthew’s fans started sending me hate email, and when the other parents started avoiding my eyes at school. I thought it couldn’t get any worse, but then the press decided to see what they could dig up on me.”

  And here it was, the very worst thing she had to tell Alex. Nicola wondered what was going through his head right now. She knew he was gazing down at her, but she didn’t dare look at his face. Placing her fingertips under her eyes, she took a deep breath and started to speak again.

  “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I made the biggest one when I was seventeen. My teens were bad. I had my diving, but it wasn’t enough for me to escape what was happening at home. My father...he used to sit around drinking beer and watching pornography all day. I was an only girl with two brothers. He wasn’t bad with them, but I was a different story. I think he hated women. He used to tell me that the only thing I’d ever be good for was attracting a man, but he used much less kind words than that.” She paused, and when she spoke again her voice was filled with painful disgust. “‘Your meal ticket is right between your legs.’ Really horrible things like that. Anyway, I guess after hearing it all my life I started to believe him. And...” She stopped, her eyes flooding again.

  “It’s all right,” Alex said quietly, replacing his hand on her thigh this time. “Tell me.”

  “Are you sure none of this is ringing a bell?”

  “You might have looked vaguely familiar, but...” He trailed off. Nicola thought his voice sounded tense, no doubt because he was trying to process all that she’d just told him—and decide if she was worth the trouble.