The Essence of Fate

by Alison E. Steuart

  “Always.” I give him a quick kiss and say, “Will you please take me to paradise now?”

  Laughing as he stands, with me still holding on, he gives my ass a hot little smack, saying, “Get dressed, LeFay. The plane is ready.”

  We landed in the Bahamas around 6:00 p.m. and it is indeed paradise. Between our pitstop at his penthouse, the flight over on his private jet, and now this magnificent island getaway, I’m a bit overwhelmed.

  My father was a successful businessman and my uncle is a very successful businessman, so I’m accustomed to the luxury houses, cars, and designer everything that come along with that kind of financial freedom. But for some reason, seeing what Ian’s apparent success has earned him is a little intimidating. I keep telling myself it’s his age, because he is very young to have achieved so much. But I know it’s also the fact that he’s every girl’s dream, and it goes well beyond the superficial looks and money. He’s a phenomenal artist who is shy about his talent, he’s sharp and intellectual, wise beyond his years, and his passion knows no bounds. He’s dominant in a way that is grounding and sexy at the same time. He has a lifelong best friend who’s one of the most honorable men on the planet, he adores his grandmother…I mean, he’s literally perfect, and I can’t help but wonder how many other women have felt the same way I do. There is no way any sane female could keep her heart intact after being with him, and as always, thinking of how long the list of broken hearts is makes me a little queasy.

  Needing some reassurance, I excuse myself to call Erika. She’s ready to kill me anyway for not calling her earlier. As usual, she answers on the first ring.

  “Where the hell have you been and why have you not called me? You’ve barely even texted!”

  “I know…I’m sorry. My life has just taken a rather drastic turn, Erika. I’m in the Bahamas right now…with Ian.”

  “WHAT? The Bahamas? With Magic Mike? What the fuck, Charlotte? We left off with you upset about going to dinner with Gabriel. What the hell happened?”

  I laugh, not only at her reaction, but at my reality, as well. “It started with Ian showing up at the restaurant last night, giving me a heart attack. I excused myself so I could go beg him to leave so he didn’t ruin things with his new business partner, only to have him melt my heart by telling me that he’d fallen in love with me and then immediately breaking it by telling me he won’t bother me…ever again!”

  After a long pause, she finally responds, “Are you kidding me? He told you he loved you? That is so romantic!” Her voice is all high-pitched and sweet as if someone just handed her a kitten.

  “I know. I couldn’t deal with Gabriel after that, so I cut dinner short. When I got home, I called Ian.”

  “Wow…that’s major.”

  “Yeah. You have no idea how major it’s been since he walked through my door and took over my body and soul. I’m not kidding when I say that, either, Erika. I have had more sexual pleasure in the past twenty-four hours than most people have in an entire lifetime. And even then, it still probably wasn’t as good as what that man is capable of doing.”

  “Are you serious? God. I’m so jealous!”

  “Actually, you should be. It’s bloody amazing.”

  “Well give me details, dammit! I need to replenish my spank bank.”

  I crack up laughing. “You are so twisted! You would actually spank to a visual of me having sex?”

  “Ah…yeah. Why the hell not? You’re hot, he’s hot. What more do I need?”

  “I should be disturbed by that confession.”

  “But you’re not because you love me unconditionally. Now give me some details!”

  “I’ll give you details when I get home. I don’t have enough time right now.” I can hear her huffing through the phone. “I’m sorry, I know that’s what you live for, but something really major happened earlier today.” My stomach does somersaults thinking about it.

  “Okay…and? You found out he has an identical twin that I get to play with?”

  “No, silly…I told him that I love him, too. And I do, Erika. So much it makes me hallucinate.”

  “Wow…and wow…I’ve never even heard of such a thing. Are you sure he didn’t drug you?”

  Laughing, I respond, “Yeah. He drugged me, all right. With his overwhelming passion and need to take over my body. This may sound completely weird, but I swear there is something more to our connection than simply raw carnality and physical attraction. It’s…I don’t know…so deep and intense. Like we are desperate for each other, but in a way that’s…kind of familiar, I guess.”

  “Obviously he’s your soulmate, dumbass. I could see that from a mile away.”

  I’m so caught off guard by the frankness of her easy explanation, I sit there letting the truth of it sink in. “My soulmate. Oh my God…that would totally make sense. Why didn’t I think of that?”

  “Because you were too busy making excuses for why you couldn’t be with him. It was a losing battle, though. When I saw the way you two looked at each other at the beach, I knew it was just a matter of time. This isn’t the first go-round for you two little lovebirds, and it won’t be the last.”

  “That’s very romantic, especially coming from someone who doesn’t believe in commitment and has mastered the art of playing the field.”

  “True. But my soul’s always been a little slut, so I’m comfortable with it.”

  We both laugh as her sarcasm takes the edge off my worry. “You are hilarious! The eternal slut… This has the makings for a great cable series.”

  “Oh my God! It does! And I totally have to be the star.”

  “That may be your calling, Erika. And to think, all that promiscuity was character building for your future Oscar-winning performance.”

  “Wow…funny how there’s a proper word for slutting around…and you just used it!” She changes her voice to an exaggerated British accent. “Erika Fleming stars in the new hit series, Promiscuity—Don’t Knock It Till You’ve Tried It.”

  I have to sit down, I’m laughing so hard. “Ooooohh…that is too much. You’re going to have to be one of the writers, too, or it won’t be as good.”

  Right then, Ian walks out looking delicious in nothing but a pair of blue-gray board shorts and a smirk that has my stomach doing flips. Walking straight to me, he takes my hand and pulls me up to stand in front of him and kisses me. Erika is saying something, but I can’t decipher the words. Finishing, he says, “Let’s go swimming.” A smile spreads across my face. There is something so adorable about him coming out here to get my attention.

  “Erika. I’m sorry, I need to run. I’ll try to call you tomorrow or the next day. I just wanted to let you know where I am.” I wink at Ian.

  “Jesus, he’s got a great voice. I am so jealous. Take notes so you don’t forget any details. I love you…and Charlotte, I’m happy for you. Don’t overthink it! Things may have happened kind of fast, but that doesn’t make it wrong. Love doesn’t need an explanation or justification. Got it?”

  “Yes. It’s just funny to hear it coming from you. I love you, too. Thank you.”

  I end the call and turn to Ian. He has a look on his face I haven’t seen before, so I ask, “What?” a little shyly, wondering if I did something embarrassing.

  “I’ve never seen you laugh so hard. It was beautiful and it made me happy.” He reaches out and wraps me in his strong arms. His skin is warm and smells so good my eyes involuntarily close as my nose meanders across his chest and up his neck, settling under his ear. “But then I wanted you to get off the phone because I needed you…all to myself. I’m sorry, I know it was selfish.”

  I lean back so I can see his face. With a peck on his lips, I agree, “It was. But that’s okay. It’s also adorable, and I’d rather go swimming with you than talk on the phone. Even if it is to my best friend, Erika, who happens to be the funniest person I know.” I set my phone down as he guides me to the pool.

  It’s absolutely beautiful, tucked into coconut palms and oth
er tropical foliage, overlooking the Sea of Abaco on one side and the Atlantic Ocean on the other. I’ve barely seen anything on the island except what we passed on the way in and a quick look around his house, all of which is amazing, but this pool area alone could be considered paradise. It’s breathtaking.

  Once we’re in the water—it’s temperature perfect—he pulls me to him so that my legs wrap around his waist. “So, Erika is the friend you mentioned at lunch? The one that would get along well with my outspoken grandmother?” His eyes light up just mentioning her, and I fall in love with him a little bit more.

  “Yes. I hope you get to meet her soon. You’ll love her. That is, once you get used to her sense of humor. It’s pretty raw. I expect it, and she still manages to shock me.” I laugh, thinking about some of the craziness that is Erika Fleming.

  “She sounds exactly like Nana, so I’m pretty well-versed on that kind of humor and shock factor. We will have to be cautious about putting the two of them together,” he says with a raised eyebrow.

  “True. Although, I can’t wait to meet Nana. She sounds like fun.”

  “Oh, she is that. But beyond her unexpected trash mouth”—he pauses to laugh—“she’s an amazing person with an amazing soul. I look forward to introducing you.” He’s slowly moving us through the water, and it’s heavenly, almost soft in the way it washes across my skin.

  After a few minutes, I break the comfortable silence. “It’s totally off-subject, but can I ask you a question?”

  “Of course, anything.”

  My head automatically drops in shyness. It’s kind of an awkward question, but it needs to be asked. “Why don’t you use condoms when we’re together? We really don’t know much about each other, and what if I’m not on any birth control? Was that ever a concern for you?”

  His eyes shift, the color changing to a deep blue, and I’m momentarily lost in them. Then a sexy-as-hell smirk lifts one side of his mouth, sending a tingling rush through my body. He studies me, then confirms, “There will never be anything covering my cock when it’s inside you. The thought of not connecting with you completely, naturally, the way it was meant to be, makes me crazy…and not in a good way. As for your other concerns, I have always, always used a condom in the past, and if there was any chance I wasn’t…clean, I would have never been inside you.” He pauses, holding me tighter. “I was already deeply in love with you when I walked through your door and took you into my arms, Charlotte. My instincts are to protect you, that’s why I was willing to walk away. If making love to you would potentially harm you, I wouldn’t have done it.”

  My heart almost explodes with love, then his serious expression becomes mischievous as he finishes with, “And if you aren’t on any birth control, then…sooner rather than later…I get to fall more in love with you as I watch your body transform, becoming beautifully round as our baby grows inside you.”

  I catch my breath, suddenly emotional. “Sooner rather than later?” Where did that come from?

  “Yes. You will be the mother of my children. Though, admittedly, I’d like to wait a while so that I can have you all to myself.” He kisses me slowly, then continues. “We have a lot of catching up to do. There are no words to describe how much I’m looking forward to getting to know everything about you. So, selfishly, I’d like to wait, but if you told me tomorrow that you’re pregnant, I would be the happiest the man in the world.” He pecks my lips one more time.

  “Do I get any say-so in this?” I ask, leaning back and giving him a raised eyebrow.

  He laughs at me, the deep rumble in his chest making me giddy. “Don’t even try it, princess. You have more than say-so. It’s entirely in your control.”

  “Oh? How so?”

  “I don’t see you as the irresponsible type, Charlotte. If there were a chance you could have gotten pregnant, you would have brought up the topic of a condom well before now, so I wasn’t really concerned. But, more importantly, I’m completely under your spell. All you have to do is say what you want, and I will make it happen. Therefore, if you want to have a baby now or five years from now, it’s ultimately up to you. I will do what makes you happy.” He is so unabashed in his affection. Knowing this powerful, talented, uncommonly handsome man has such strong feelings for me is overwhelming, but in a way that makes my love for him expand, taking on a life of its own. The experience of such deep emotion is so joyful, so exhilarating, I won’t let my fear even show its ugly head. I still can’t believe fate has brought Ian McAlistair to me.

  “How is it that you can make me fall more in love with you with just a few sentences? You’re the one casting spells,” I say sincerely.

  Without hesitation, he responds. “We’ve only just begun. I intend to make you fall more in love with me in every way possible…and the possibilities are endless.” His voice deepens, and his expression becomes playfully devious. “Like when I take off your bikini and set you up on the edge of the pool, then devour you until my mouth is filled with your cum.”

  And so he does…again and again.

  Twenty-Two

  Ian

  I didn’t think I could enjoy my island retreat any more than I already had. It has always been the place I go to reboot—not only my brain, but my soul. My life is fast-paced, overflowing with money and success and all the trimmings. It’s what I do, all I know, and I have no intention of changing.

  But unbeknownst to anyone but me, it wears me down. Recognizing it for what it is, I don’t make excuses. I simply take a break, here in the peaceful solitude of this small island. The breeze off the water—that is therapeutic on its own—combined with the sounds of small, rhythmic waves gently breaking on the shore and the rustle of coconut palms in the wind, the fronds long and flowing, are hypnotic and rejuvenating to everything that I am: internally, externally, spiritually, and beyond.

  But having Charlotte here with me has been like nothing I ever knew was possible or ever cared to contemplate. I laugh at myself because I truly believed I was happy, that my life was perfect. Yet looking back, I see that it was empty, and the depth of that emptiness is terrifying to me now. I won’t even allow myself to imagine a life without her, and as grateful as I am that I found her, I can’t help but wish it had happened sooner.

  The scratch of pencil lead on paper continues as I finish the sketch I’ve been working on for the past forty-five minutes. She was so beautiful in the brightening light of the Bahamian sunrise, I had to draw her. She’s asleep next to me, hair fanned out across her pillow, head turned toward me, her extraordinary mouth relaxed, showing off its fullness and splendid design. The white sheets are gathered around her and over her in beautiful disarray that speak of the love we made in the night. One breast is exposed, its dark nipple a focal point against her fair skin and the bright white of the room, lit up by the rising sun. This un-staged presentation is complemented by one exposed leg, bent in relaxation. She’s a work of art and her raw beauty tightens my stomach with desire.

  Continuing the sketch, I am suddenly thankful for this God-given talent instead of being frustrated by its persistent nagging in the back of my mind, looking for an outlet—or more likely, a muse. It’s been a source of intense frustration for many years, yet now I feel fortunate to capture moments like these through the patience and skill of my hand, letting them become a part of me, and not through the mindless push of a button. I will likely have enough to fill a small library by the time I die of old age.

  As I put the finishing touches on the sketch, I find myself reciting words in my head. It seems my muse has inspired the poetry I warned her about. My pent-up creativity must be overflowing now that it has tapped into emotions I didn’t know existed.

  In the whitespace on the bottom left corner of the paper, I let the words flow…

  I see eternity in your eyes

  I’ve been lost there

  I’ve been home

  Breathed my last breath

  Been born again

  In your eyes I can travel thro
ugh time

  I know there is pain but I am not afraid

  Because there is a constant

  Truly never ending

  Shining bright and pure

  Guiding me

  Filling me with an indescribable joy

  Driving my passion

  Comforting my soul

  Bringing me to life

  Again and again…

  I pause to savor the truth in my good fortune, having found this incredible woman. It’s easy for me to imagine spending this life and ten others with her. Never getting bored, never falling into complacency. Each day building onto the next, creating a life of privilege, abundance, and wealth that has nothing to do with money and material things.

  She rolls over, distracting me from my poetic daze, the sunlight finally bright enough to wake her. I laugh to myself, because I’ve never seen white sheets look so lovely. Her spell has turned me into a sentimental artist that sees beauty in everything from the magnificent to the mundane. I have to force myself to adjust, otherwise I’ll be controlled by the distraction of my heightened senses.

  She laughs a little, her back to me, saying in a sleepy voice, “How long have you been staring at me? I can feel it, you know.” She quickly rolls to her back, smiling up at me. “I hope I wasn’t snoring or making some silly face you’ll never let me live down.”

  God, she’s adorable.

  “No. You were not snoring or making a silly face. Though, I would have found either endearing.” I pause to stare at the drawing I made of her, reading over the words she inspired. “You were so enchanting, I decided to sketch you. I hope you don’t mind.”

  She quickly sits up, her expression both excited and concerned as she reaches for the paper. She stares at my work and her hand automatically goes to her mouth, fingers gently touching her lips. I can tell she’s reading the poem, and I’m suddenly nervous.

  “Ian,” she whispers, then looks at me with glazed eyes. “It’s so beautiful. The drawing…the poem. I didn’t know you could write like this.”