by Willow Aster
“Don’t be a dicksausage,” I hiss.
“So protective. Are you two kiddos certain this is pretend? Because I’m getting all sorts of feels over here.”
“Gus, zip it. He’s helping her out. Like that Hallmark movie about the promise. What was it?” Spence looks around like we’ll know the answer and then snaps his fingers. “The Mistletoe Promise, that’s it. It doesn’t hurt anyone, so no harm, no foul, right?” He stands and offers a hand to Emma.
“You’re such a poet when it comes to words, Old Solemn,” she purrs.
“Fake, shmake. We don’t care. Mean Mug tomorrow with me and Emma?” Mya asks Cosette, as if this whole arrangement is normal.
“I don’t know what that is, but count me in,” Cosette says.
“Perfect. We want all the deets on this little … arrangement.” Mya is on her feet and Jesse wraps an arm around her.
They all make their way out, but Gus stretches out on the couch. “I like you, Cosette. You’re the nicest girl he’s ever brought home … even if it’s not real, I’d like to keep you.”
I groan. “She’s not a puppy, dicknub.”
Cosette snorts then slaps her hand over her mouth. “Dicknub? What?”
I grin at her. “Welcome to the brothers.” I point at Gus. “Go home. I hope you have many olives in your nightmares tonight.”
Gus pulls me in for a hug. He’s a teddy bear when you get right down to it. He stops to hug Cosette.
“You know, if you get tired of fake dating this guy … you can real date me anytime.” He kisses the top of her head and I roll my eyes.
“Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.”
“Women happen to like this ass,” he says, as I close the door behind him. He’s still laughing as he walks down the hall.
I drop to sit beside Cosette on the couch.
“I like your family,” she says. “They’re so … real. And fun. And normal.”
“You think what you just witnessed is normal?” I laugh as I take a sip of my wine.
“Well, you just had dinner with a dog wearing a satin robe who humped a giraffe the entire time. My parents are trying to push an arranged marriage on me with a guy who couldn’t remain faithful for a week. My sister and her husband have nothing to say that doesn’t involve dollar signs. Yeah … it was normal. And really refreshing.”
I clink my glass with hers. “You’re the best fake girlfriend I’ve ever had.”
“Right back at you, lover boy.”
Chapter Six
Cosette
I wake up feeling better than I have in I can’t even remember when. I think just being out from under my parents’ roof and all the pressure that has come along with that … it’s been exhausting. More than I realized. My mom is exhausting. I will never measure up to Juliette. And the one who’s always had my back—my dad—has gone silent.
I check my phone and there are three missed calls from Jeremy. Two texts.
Answer your phone!
Don’t be so childish, Cosette. We need to talk.
I set the phone down on the side table and stare up at the ceiling, feeling like all the good vibes I woke up with are dashed with this little exchange. Well, that’s just it—it’s not an exchange of words at all. It’s him shoving his way into my life when I’ve made it clear I don’t want him there. At least not as my boyfriend, or worse, as my husband. He just won’t let it go. I honestly don’t know why he even acts like he wants me anymore—if he’s enjoying the challenge, or if he can’t see past losing the money that our little union would’ve brought him if I’d cooperate. It’s ridiculous considering the man has plenty of money all on his own.
I delete his voicemails without listening to them. I’m certain I’ve already heard his spiel before, countless times. Since I got back from France and have tried to start my new life at home in New York, I’ve been bombarded with all things Jeremy. If my family can bring him up in two conversations with a guy I’m supposedly dating, there are clearly no boundaries in place.
Enough of this. I need to get ready for the day. I can’t remember when I last woke up without my alarm. I crawl out of bed and take in the view out the window. It’s a lovely day. I grin when I think of this new arrangement with Caden. I’ve thought he was a great guy from day one, but I had no idea he was so hilarious and so … calming. I stretch and head into the guest bathroom to shower. That’s what feels different this morning. The calm.
I take a quick shower, thankful that I brought a change of clothes and some makeup so I can head straight to work. I’ll be at the hotel today with Caden, and I am glad that The Lux isn’t too far from here.
I quickly make the bed and the smell of bacon fills the room. My stomach rumbles and I hurry out of the bedroom.
My mouth goes dry at the sight of him. Caden is standing at the stovetop in a pair of plaid pajama bottoms and no shirt. He has his back to me, so I take a minute to look at him. I knew he was gorgeous, but this … it’s almost criminal. He’s chiseled to perfection. Tanned skin. Muscular arms. There’s some sort of ink on his left shoulder, but I can’t make it out. His back goes narrow at the waist, and I fan my face before he turns around to catch me standing there.
“Hello, lover.” He smirks, and I squeeze my hands together to keep from fanning myself again.
“What are you up to, boyfriend?” My voice is a bit gruff and I clear my throat.
“Just making my girl a little breakfast. I hope you like bacon and pancakes?”
I chuckle and mosey on up to the breakfast bar just as his door flies open.
“Do I smell bacon?” Gus says, and turns to me. “Ahhh … the fake girlfriend spent the night. I like it.”
I can feel my cheeks heating, and I bite down on my bottom lip just as Caden chucks a piece of bacon at his brother and it hits him in the face, but he manages to catch it.
“She stayed in the guest room, dickweed. Get your mind out of the gutter.”
Gus bites off half a piece of bacon and winks at me. “I’m just giving you shit, Cosette. But Caden, you do seem to be in an unusually good mood this morning.”
“What can I say? My fake relationship makes me very happy.” He laughs and sets a plate down on the breakfast bar and motions for me to take a seat.
“I can see that. I’m starving.” Gus takes the barstool beside me.
Caden rolls his eyes but sets a plate in front of his brother. I can’t help but scan his body. His front is as good as his backside, if not better. I guzzle half a glass of orange juice because I’m clearly parched from the view. His abs are chiseled, and they lead down to a serious V. I’ve never been one to fawn over a man’s body, but this is more like art. Like someone sculpted this man into the most perfect male form.
“So, what’s the plan for today?” Gus asks.
“Cosette and I are at the hotel all day today. You’re coming over to work on the top two floors this afternoon, right?” Caden asks.
I don’t miss the ease between them. If I walked into Juliette’s apartment unannounced … her botox would most definitely get a workout. She doesn’t even let me visit when I request an appointment. She says that her home is her sanctuary and she doesn’t like other people’s energy in her space. So the Taylors are a breath of fresh air.
“Yep. Spence and I are going to check out that new building that just became available, and Jesse is working with Doris on the books today, but we’ll be over to join the crew this afternoon.”
“Be prepared to be watched. My mother’s coming to the hotel today to check out the progress. She is not happy about the design changes, so she’s probably going to give you a little grief,” I say, before forking an oversized bite of pancakes and groaning because it’s so good.
“No groaning, lover. The big guy gets a little reactive to beautiful women groaning in his kitchen first thing in the morning,” Caden says it so casually that it takes me a minute to process what he means, and Gus’ head falls back in laughter. “What? I’m only huma
n.”
“He can back up the big guy bit, I’m just sayin’...” Gus points at me with his fork. “Runs in the family, but big brother here—” He nods sagely, and Caden bops him with an oven mitt.
My jaw drops open, but no words come to mind. I’m not used to this type of banter. This type of comfort. This type of genuineness. And raunchy. I giggle behind my hand and know I must be ten shades of pink.
“Cosi, I’ve got to tell you. I find your mother a bit … terrifying.” Gus drops his plate in the sink.
Caden bumps his brother with his shoulder. “Don’t be a douchestick. That’s her mother. Show some goddamn respect.”
“Oh. It’s completely okay. She terrifies me too, most of the time. I love her, but she can be very intimidating.”
I look up to see Caden staring at me before he quickly looks away. “All right. Give me five minutes to grab a shower.”
I nod.
Gus and I make small talk until Caden comes out, and it’s the most I’ve laughed in a very long time. Caden and I catch a quick Uber and head to the hotel.
“Thanks for everything. Letting me stay with you last night. Making me breakfast. Playing along with this ridiculous scheme. I really appreciate it.”
He turns to look at me when we’re stopped at a light. “Trust me. I’m enjoying getting to know you better. You don’t need to thank me. And don’t be nervous about your mom. I’ve got your back.”
Something about his words settles me. Because when Caden Taylor says he has your back, my gut check tells me that he means it.
My phone continues to vibrate in my purse and I groan before pulling it out and silencing my ringer.
“Someone’s trying to get a hold of you, huh?”
“It’s Jeremy. I swear he never called this much when we were together. The man is having a temper tantrum because he thinks I’m dating you.”
“Well, maybe it’s time we step up our game, baby.” He winks as our driver pulls up to the hotel.
My stomach flutters a little bit and I internally scold myself for reacting this way. Caden’s my friend. Nothing more.
“You just might be right.”
We make our way inside and my mother is standing there, eyeing me from head to toe. She scrunches her nose just enough to let me know she disapproves of my choice of dress today.
Buckle up, Maman.
You’re about to disapprove of a lot of choices I’m going to make.
And I’m totally okay with it.
“Thanks for meeting us, Cosette. We’ve heard so much about you that whether you’re fake dating Caden or not, we were dying to hang out with you,” Mya says, as I pull up a barstool at the high-top table where they’re seated.
Caden dropped me at my parents’ house after work so I could change, and I had my parents’ driver bring me over to Mean Mug because I knew I’d want to have a couple glasses of wine.
“I’m thrilled to be here. Thanks for inviting me.” I mean it. I’ve been looking forward to this all day. I felt an instant comfort with Mya and Emma last night. They’re both gorgeous, genuine, and from what I can tell, always laughing. And I don’t have many girlfriends here in New York. I went to boarding school in Maine during high school, and I attended college in France. So, I am in need of some real girlfriends. I have a feeling these two would be keepers.
“Well, we’re thrilled to add a cool chick to our little duet. I mean, your fashion alone has my attention.” Emma pauses when the server walks up and we all order a glass of Chardonnay.
I chuckle when he walks away. “Thank you. My mother thinks my fashion choices are lacking.”
“Girl, trust me when I tell you, you are killing the fashion game.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Mya says.
I can’t help but smile. I like them.
“So, what’s the deal with this ex-boyfriend of yours? He just won’t leave you alone?” Emma asks, and my phone vibrates in my purse for the millionth time today.
I pull it out expecting it to be Jeremy once again, but instead, it’s Caden.
Be safe tonight, sexy. Call me if you want to stay here, or if you need a ride.
“Sorry. I thought it was Jeremy. But it’s Caden being sweet,” I say, before I type out a quick response and turn off my ringer.
Careful, boyfriend. A girl could get used to this.
I giggle and they both lean over to look at what I’m typing.
I’m counting on it. Call me when you’re done and I’ll give you a ride home.
“This is the best fake relationship I’ve ever seen,” Mya says with a laugh.
So bossy.
Only when it comes to my girl getting home safe.
I put my phone down and face them, and they are both watching me as if they want all the details.
“Spill it, girl,” Emma says as she takes a sip of her wine.
I fill them in on my history with Jeremy. My mother’s obsession with our families joining. The way my father has been so distant since Jeremy and I broke up. And we spend the next hour and a half laughing and talking.
And drinking all the wine. Two and a half glasses, I think.
Maybe three?
And a shot of tequila because Emma insists we all do shots as we toast to Jeremy biting the dust.
And then there’s that martini with extra olives as they fill me in on the whole story behind Gus’ fear of olives.
And Mya’s mother’s horrible cooking.
And then there is another shot of tequila as we toast to Emma’s grandmother’s nipples, which were originally the butcher’s wife’s nipples.
My head is spinning and I can’t remember a time that I’ve had more fun.
My mother and my sister think laughter is very American. They don’t believe that a sense of humor is a redeeming quality.
“I’m so glad you kicked that guy to the curb. You don’t need that in your life. You’re too good for that. But I’m sorry your family isn’t being supportive,” Mya says, and I think her words are slurring a bit.
“I say good riddance to Jeremy, the boring, cheating bastard. He wants what he can’t have and doesn’t appreciate it when he does have it.”
I’m laughing so hard that tears are streaming down my face. They are more upset about Jeremy than I am.
“It’s been eye-opening because I don’t feel anything but relief to be done with him. And it’s been a few months. But now that he thinks I’m with Caden, he’s being relentless.”
“So, you and Caden are just acting, huh?” Mya asks, and her cheeks are rosy from all the cocktails.
“Yeah, he’s been so great about all of this.”
“You don’t find him attractive?” Emma purrs.
My head tips back in laughter. “Of course I do. I mean, I’m only human. Oh my word, I saw him with his shirt off this morning, and let’s just say… the man is too much. But he’s just helping me out.”
“I say we drink to him helping you out with anything and everything,” Emma whisper-shouts and then raises her hand in the air for the server to bring more drinks.
“Easy there, she-devil,” a deep voice says from behind me. I turn around to see Spence standing there smirking at Emma, and Jesse and Caden walk through the door.
A woman stops Caden and his gaze locks with mine as he talks to her. My vision is a little blurry from one too many cocktails, but he looks agitated, the way he rubs the back of his neck and shifts on his feet to move away from her. I quickly turn away. I don’t need to ruin his game. It’s a good reminder that we’re just playing a part right now. Caden isn’t mine. He’s just pretending to be.
We’re friends.
Good friends.
“I think you’ve had enough, baby,” Spence says to Emma and he nuzzles her neck.
Swoon.
“Awww, don’t ruin all the fun, Old Solemn. We’re just cursing the ground that Cosette’s ex-hypocritical boyfriend walks on.”
“Ooohhh … I feel a little woozy
,” Mya says as Jesse helps her to her feet.
“Damn lightweight. This one has a sensitive stomach.” Emma thrusts her thumb in Mya’s direction.
“I can hear you. I may be tipsy, but I’m not stupid.” Mya stumbles a bit on her feet and we all three burst out laughing.
Before I can get to my feet, Caden is there. He wraps his arm around my waist and helps steady me.
“Hey, lover boy. I hope I’m not ruining your chance with that lady over there,” I say, and my words feel far away, like they’re dragging underwater. But the thought that I could be in Caden’s way sends some sort of weird feeling through my body.
Anger?
Jealousy?
No. I must just be too intoxicated to think straight. But I’m glad that Caden’s by my side at the moment.
Mya and Emma can’t stop laughing and neither can I.
“You’re not ruining anything. Let’s get you home. See you guys in the morning.”
“Wait a minute, lover boy. We didn’t get to hug her goodbye,” Emma shouts and she and Mya both hurry toward me.
A barstool gets knocked over in the process, which only makes us all laugh harder.
“Cosette Dubois…” Emma says, pushing the hair out of my face.
“Yes?” I ask, and I can’t hide my smile.
“We found our missing piece that we didn’t even know was missing,” she says.
“We realized what was missing after we met you. You complete us, little rosy Cosi,” Mya says, looking at me all weepy and then she bursts into tears.
“Oh boy. Time to go,” Jesse says, wrapping his arm around her. She’s at the door and still yelling how much she loves us, and we follow Spence and Emma out the door.
Caden’s car is waiting at the curb and I wave goodbye before he helps me in.
My lips are numb and I can’t feel my feet.
But I look up at Caden and I know I’m exactly where I want to be.
Chapter Seven
Caden
Holy shit. Drunk Cosette manages to be sexy as hell with the way she keeps looking up at me with those doe eyes. The more I get to know this girl, the more protective I feel over her.
