by Willow Aster
And she needs it.
Her family doesn’t have her back and that bothers me.
“Your place or mine?” I ask her and she grins.
“I should go back home. I can’t crash in your guest room forever and also, I need clothes.”
“You can crash at my place as long as you need.”
“Did I ruin things for you back there?” she slurs, and she’s so fucking cute it makes my chest squeeze.
She’s turned in her seat facing me, and her cheek is resting against the leather seat. Lavender eyes are looking up at me like I hold the fucking moon.
“You didn’t ruin anything.”
“Is that your girlfriend? I mean your real girlfriend?” she asks, and when I glance back over, her eyes are closed.
“No. I hardly know her.”
“She’d be lucky to date you, lover. You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had,” she whispers, and then bursts out in laughter at her own words. “You know what I mean.”
“I do.” I nod, and we’re quiet until I pull down her street.
“Thanks for coming to get me. I could have called my parents’ driver. Herb’s a nice guy even if he smells like sauerkraut and pine needles.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh.
“Well, I wouldn’t want you dealing with that kind of smell when you’re feeling so good,” I tease, and I turn off the car. The house is dark.
“You’re so thoughtful. And handsome. I see why that girl was all over you, the way you’re looking in this fancy … what is this?” She taps her hand against my chest but rubs it all around, which makes my dick go hard immediately.
Can’t go there with Cosette.
We have a good thing going right now.
“It’s a T-shirt,” I say, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Yep. It is. It just fits you so nicely. And, I get it. I really do.” She still has her hand on my chest and she looks up at me and gasps before patting my cheek. “I think I might throw up.”
Now I’m laughing as I hurry out of the car and get her out as well. She leans forward and vomits several times, and I hold her hair back for her. She keeps apologizing between hurls.
“You’re okay,” I say, as I rub her back.
“Oh my gosh. I can’t believe I just puked in front of you. This has to be some kind of rock bottom. But I had the best time, so I guess it’s a sign of a great night, right?” She looks up and sways into me.
I lift her off her feet and she rests her head against my chest. “It’s definitely a sign of a great night. Do you have a key?”
“We have a code. My mother thinks keys are for peasants,” she says, and she bursts out in laughter again. Cosette’s laughter is one of the best fucking sounds I’ve ever heard.
She tells me the code and I push the door open as she guides me upstairs. The house is completely quiet and she covers her mouth to keep from laughing. I set her on her bed and she looks up at me.
“Thanks for being such a good friend, Caden.”
I smile at her and reach out to touch her cheek. “Goodnight, my sweet friend. I’ll see you tomorrow. Take all the time you need, coming in.”
She falls back on her bed and watches me as I walk out. It’s really hard to leave when she’s staring up at me like that.
I shut the door behind me and nearly trip over Louie who is now looking up at me much like Cosette was. He’s wearing a pajama-looking thing with pink flamingos and I shake my head. I don’t know about people who never let their dogs go naked. If you can’t even be free as a dog, what’s even the point in life?
I reach down and pet him and he falls out on his back, paws up in full surrender.
I can’t help but laugh, the little guy is so stinking cute. He’s got three teeth poking out of his mouth, otherwise he’s all gums.
When I try to move away, he gets up and follows me all the way down the stairs. From somewhere in the distance, I hear Vivienne calling him, but he stays on my trail. I reach the door, and he pants up at me like we’re going somewhere exciting. He even throws a little twirl in there.
“Louie. You have to stay,” I whisper. “Go to your mother.”
He jumps on my leg and waggles his tail some more. I sigh and scratch his head again, looking around for something to distract him. I don’t want to get caught looking like I’m snooping around, so when he doesn’t even go after his stuffed giraffe, I pick him up and head back up the stairs toward Cosette’s room. I knock lightly and when she doesn’t answer, I open the door just enough to put Louie in her room, shutting the door before he follows me back out.
I decide to text her when I get home to explain my crazy reasoning, but she texts me first as I reach the car.
Thought you were coming back for a kiss, but it was just Louie licking my face off. Thanks for that. ;)
My laugh sounds loud on the quiet street. At your service, I type back.
As I drive back to my side of town, I think about how much fun I’m having with Cosette. There aren’t many girls I meet in New York that I’m interested in seeing again. My mom thinks I still haven’t recovered from the heartbreak of losing my college girlfriend, Leah, but I rarely think about her at all. My heart doesn’t feel broken. I don’t pine after her like a wuss or wish I’d done anything different—except I do wish I hadn’t dated her as long as I did. She dumped me when I wasn’t ready to get married while we were still in school, and she was married to someone else within the year.
Yeah, that did a number on me. Made me a little skittish about getting in deep with anyone else, I guess.
I need to be careful with Cosette too. Because I am thinking about her way too much. She needs a friend. Pure and simple.
I can do that. Hell, I need more friends in my life too. It can be easy to think I have all I need with my family because, the truth is, I do. They fill me up and then some. But Spence and Jesse have already settled into relationships and I know once kids start, I won’t have unlimited access to them at all times. I don’t see Gus settling down anytime soon, Pen either … but who knows? Things didn’t exactly go slowly with either Spence or Jesse’s relationships. Hopefully our family will all grow together, whether we’re in romantic relationships or not. All I know is, a few friends wouldn’t hurt.
Still too introspective for my own good, I walk into our building and drop the keys off at Spence’s place. And when I close the door to my apartment and look around, that nagging feeling persists. For someone who’s always relished the quiet at night and a little space at the end of the day, why do I suddenly feel like something is missing?
Is it too soon to apologize for being a drunkard?
I laugh when the text from Cosette comes through.
You don’t need to apologize for anything. What are you still doing up? I thought you’d be long passed out with Louie and Raffi.
I watch as the three little dots move across my screen.
I puked a few more times. Louie is not happy with me. He’s turned his nose up at me multiple times. He’s as judgy as my mother.
She’s so fucking cute it’s hard not to laugh. I scrub a hand down my face.
Proceed with caution. This girl is off-limits.
He has no room to judge. The dude humps a giraffe out in the open. The bastard has no shame.
I know she’s laughing and we’re not even together. But Cosette has a wicked sense of humor. It’s one of my favorite things about her.
That’s very true. Thanks for reminding me. Thanks for taking care of me tonight. I owe you one.
My mind goes to a million different places of favors I’d like to get from Cosette, before I pull my thoughts out of the gutter.
You’re older than her, dickhead.
She needs a friend, not a hookup.
She’s not that girl.
You owe me nothing. Get some sleep. Drink some water and hydrate. Prepare for the hangover from hell tomorrow. I’ll see you at the hotel.
I drop down to sit on my
bed and wait for her response.
Thanks, Caden. See you tomorrow.
I stay up watching late-night TV until I can’t see straight and fall asleep on the couch. My dreams are tormented with Cosette and her sweet smile, that expression that looks like she has so many fun secrets I’d like to hear all about, and when I wake up the next morning, I feel like I’ve been put through the wringer. I take my shower and lecture myself in the mirror when I get out.
“Lighten up, dude.” I point at myself, leaning closer to the mirror. “Life is supposed to be fun. You’ll be an old man overnight if you start contemplating the meaning of life.”
Feeling better already, I try to put it all out of my mind, determined to have a good day.
I wait for the elevator and hear a ruckus as the doors open. Gus charges out, and Emma and Spence are on his heels.
Gus is dry heaving and gagging so dramatically it’s impossible not to laugh.
“Dammit, Kingsley. You got vomit on my new shoes. You know I’m sensitive to smells.” He bends over and makes all sorts of gurgling sounds.
“Keys,” Spence shouts to me, and I toss him my apartment keys as he runs ahead of Emma toward my apartment.
“Don’t be a baby. You’ve puked on me before,” Emma hisses and she looks like the walking dead. Her hair is a tangled mess, and she stumbles toward Spence who has my door opened for her.
My God. How much did these girls drink last night?
“That’s because you aren’t sensitive to these types of things,” Gus shouts back, leaning against the wall like he’s just been shot.
“Dude, are you hungover too?” I ask after Emma beelines it into my apartment.
“No. I had a relaxing night at home entertaining a lovely lady friend.” He holds his hand to his forehead. “But Kingsley gets on the elevator and hurls right onto my new Nikes. None of it landed on her or Spence or even the elevator. She aimed for me. I can’t deal with this madness.” Gus looks up at me and shakes his head and I can’t help but laugh.
“Let’s go clean up your shoes, you little dickprincess.”
“You know I can’t handle vomit. Ever since Pen puked on me a few years ago. It’s not my thing.” He has a hand over his mouth and he’s stumbling behind me like he’s been in an accident.
Yeah, Pen projectile vomiting all over Gus at his own college graduation goes down as one of my favorite sibling memories. He’d pressured her to go shot for shot with him on the tequila, and after she put the last one down, she high-fived him and proceeded to shoot liquid from her mouth straight into his face, exorcist style. Spence, Jesse, and I couldn’t contain our laughter that night. And then we consoled Pen, and Gus threw a massive temper tantrum as he dry heaved and whined all the way home.
Classic Taylor shenanigans.
“I don’t think puke is really anyone’s thing,” I said, pushing the door open and reaching for a towel. “And no offense, but that looks like spit-up. There’s hardly anything there. You’re being a huge ass baby.”
“It’s not the amount of vomit that matters, it’s the idea of it. Of regurgitated shit coming out the wrong end. I’m a visual learner, and I am not okay with this. You hear that, Kingsley,” he shouts, as he takes his shoe off and wipes off the quarter-sized white goo from his shoe.
“Well, I feel like a new woman. Sorry you had to take the brunt of it. Love you, Gussy boy.” Emma is standing in front of us now looking like she’s raring to go.
“Why do you look better than I do?” Gus whines.
“Because I clearly needed to get that tequila out of my stomach. I hurled a few times, and now I’m good to go. Let’s go get greasy breakfast sandwiches on our way to work,” Emma says, grabbing a bottle of water from my fridge and kissing me on the cheek.
“Why does he get the kiss when I’m the one you desecrated?” Gus asks as he slips his tennis shoe back on his foot. “And yes to the breakfast sandwich. I need a pick-me-up after all this drama. This is not how I like to start my day.”
“Listen, dickweasel, shit happens. Stop whining and man up,” Spence says, as he takes Emma’s hand and leads us out the door.
“You coming with us for breakfast?” Emma asks me when we step on the elevator.
Gus pinches his nose between his thumb and his pointer finger because he claims he can smell the vomit.
“This isn’t even the same elevator we were on before, you dufus,” Emma says and then she turns back to me to wait for my answer.
“Yep. I have a hunch you aren’t the only one who needs a greasy meal.” I think of Cosette.
“You’re right about that, brother. All of this excitement has worked up my appetite,” Gus says as we step outside, and I roll my eyes because I wasn’t thinking of him.
“I thought you were nauseous from the puke.” Emma raises a brow at him.
“Stop saying that word. It’s bringing it all back to me,” Gus whines and rubs his stomach.
We all burst out in laughter as we walk down the street in typical Taylor fashion. And I suddenly feel an urgency to get to the hotel. I’m anxious to see how Cosette’s doing.
Because that’s what fake boyfriends do, right?
Chapter Eight
Cosette
I wake up to rapid knocking on my door and then my mom steps inside.
“Louie!” she cries. “What is he doing in here? I looked all over for him and thought he must have gone to get Raffi and fell asleep.”
“He found his way in here last night,” I say, grinning at him. Ow, it hurts to grin. I put my hand on my head and wince. That hurts too.
“You’ve been avoiding me for days now,” my mom says. “Just when were you planning to discuss this new relationship with me?”
“We’ve discussed it. He’s been over here for dinner. What more do you want me to say?”
“I want you to say it’s a cruel joke and that you’re just doing your best to show Jeremy what he’s missing.” She points at me. “Which is an excellent idea, by the way. That is what this is all about, isn’t it?”
I reach for the water on my nightstand and guzzle it. She’s still waiting for an answer from me when I stop.
“No, Maman. I don’t know what to tell you. But I have to get ready for work. I slept right through my alarm.”
“Well, Jeremy and his parents are meeting us at the restaurant tonight. I expect you to come and act like a civil adult.”
“I won’t be going to dinner tonight.” I get out of bed, and the room slightly spins. Yikes. This is why you don’t drink as much as I did last night. I’ve never been drunk, not even in college. A memory of me throwing up last night and Caden holding my hair back comes to mind and I groan. No. How humiliating.
My mom thinks I’m groaning about dinner.
“You most certainly will. I’ve already told them you’ll be there and they’re expecting you.”
“You shouldn’t have done that without checking with me first.”
Louie follows me into the bathroom and I can hear my mom walking toward the bathroom too. She whisks him up in her arms, nuzzling his neck as he tries to squirm away.
“Just please be there, Cosette,” my mom sounds tired and I look at her in concern. Dark circles are around her eyes.
“Are you okay, Maman?”
“No!” she cries. “You are breaking my heart! Sabine and I are devastated. Your father is too, although he will never show it. And we needed this marriage … especially now.” She presses her lips together like she’s said too much.
My eyes narrow in on her and she backs out of the room. “What are you not telling me, Maman? What do you mean, we need this marriage, especially now?”
She makes a choked sound and glances around the room wildly. “Oh, just after the year we’ve all had. And your father is getting old, Cosi. We need to make sure we are all secure for the future. No one knows what tomorrow brings. The heaviness in the world, the state of our—” She waves her hand around like I should understand what she’s talking
about, but I am completely lost.
I start the shower and stand at the bathroom door, while she stands at my bedroom door, looking like she’s going to burst into tears.
“If I come tonight, I’m bringing Caden. I don’t know if he can be there yet or not, but that’s my condition.”
Anger flashes in her eyes, but she nods grimly. “Very well. You’re being ridiculous, darling. But maybe you need to see how these two men line up against each other when they’re in the same room. Maybe that’s what it will take for you to come to your senses.”
I close the bathroom door before I lose it. I don’t know how many more ways I can say it, but okay, I guess I’ll have one more dinner with the Toussaint family. Maybe they will get the message after they see me with Caden.
My mother’s control has been stifling me my whole life, but I’ve been willing to put up with it to keep the peace. I couldn’t feel more like the outsider in this family than I do, and so I’ve tried to make all of them happy by going along with what they want me to be. It’s just never enough. And with the distance I feel from my father, I feel very alone in this house. It’s always been me and him against the world—and now it’s just … me. I tried again to set up a time to talk to my dad and again he had some excuse about a golf priority.
Pretty sure my mom only sees me as someone she can marry off to increase her standing with the rich and powerful. I have been groomed to be Jeremy Toussaint’s wife and there’s no room for me to step outside of that. Juliette was glad to fit in that mold. And I tried. I dated Jeremy as long as I could stand it, but I just know I can’t do it. I will never be happy being someone I’m not, and being with someone I don’t love.
All I long for is a home where I can relax, be myself, and be appreciated for exactly who I am. I think that only happens in the movies. But I’m so excited about my new condo and the freedom it will offer. I can’t wait to move in. I got the ball rolling with the financial stuff, and it looks like I will be in my own space very soon.
Gah, that outweighs all the depressing thoughts. I’m shaking off the foul mood now, I think as I step into the shower. Let’s hope Caden can help me put on one hell of a show tonight and that I can move out of this stifling house stat. I don’t even need the life I dream about, just get me out of this godforsaken one!
