by Willow Aster
“I fuck it up, because that’s what I do.”
“Bullshit. You’re basing this all on the words of a woman who wanted to get married right out of college. Who does that? I wasn’t a fan of hers, by the way.” Spence throws a pillow at me and I catch it. “It was her way or the highway … she didn’t give a shit about what you wanted. And she found some other sap who was on board with doing whatever the fuck she wanted. So stop blaming yourself for that, and go after what you actually do want.”
Leah told me I was emotionally unavailable and a commitment-phobe. Maybe I was back then. But I never once felt like I was suffocating when I was with Cosette. I always wanted more. But fucking up this friendship is not an option. So I need to proceed with caution.
“Yeah, all right. I’ll talk to her.”
“Yes,” Emma shouts as she pushes to her feet and fist bumps the sky.
“Thanks for coming by. I can take it from here.”
“I know you, brother. Don’t sit on this too long. I almost made that mistake myself,” Spence says, as I move to my feet and he claps me on the back.
“I wouldn’t have let you get away even if you tried,” Emma says, kissing my brother on the cheek.
“All right, you guys go have your date night. Love you, but I need you to go so I can think.”
“Too much thinking never leads to good things.” Spence pulls the door open and waves.
“Did you seriously just steal Gus’ mantra?”
“It occasionally works,” he says over a laugh as he moves down the hall.
I close the door and think about what I want.
I want Cosette Dubois, and there’s no way around it.
I don’t want to fuck it up.
But this is worth fighting for. My fake girlfriend is the first person I’ve ever felt the need to fight for. It makes no sense, but everything in life doesn’t need to make sense.
I yank the door open and take a few strides toward her door, just as she steps out into the hallway at the same time.
“Hey,” I say. “Are you going out?”
“Nope.” She tucks her hair behind her ear. “I was actually just coming over to talk to you.”
“Oh yeah?” I ask, as I move into her space and she backs up against the wall.
“Yeah,” she whispers. “Where were you going? Out to find yourself a one-night stand?”
I laugh. “Would that bother you? You’ve mentioned it a few times.”
“Actually, yes. It would bother me.”
My hand is on her cheek, and I caress her jaw with my thumb. “Why is that?”
“Because I don’t want you to be with anyone else.”
“Because you’re afraid Jeremy or your mom will find out,” I ask, and my voice is gruff. We’re standing so close I rest my forehead against hers.
“No. Because the thought of you being with another woman makes me feel sick. I don’t know what happened, Caden. This wasn’t supposed to be real, but nothing’s ever felt more real to me.”
Her raw vulnerability makes my chest squeeze.
“It’s real to me too, lover.” I tease because saying the words scare the shit out of me. “I just don’t want to fuck it up because I care about you so damn much.”
“Do you think maybe it’s just a physical attraction?” she asks, and I pull back and look at her.
Lavender eyes and pouty lips. Her skin is creamy and soft. Her white-blonde hair tumbles over her shoulders and the woman nearly drops me to my knees with the way she’s looking at me. Like I hold the universe in my hands, and I have all the answers to life’s problems.
She’s changed since I saw her and smells like whatever goodness she washes with—I want to bury my head in her.
I come to my senses, realizing I’ve been staring at her for a while.
“I don’t know what it is. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a relationship, Cos. I don’t recognize all of these feelings. I just know I don’t want to blow it.”
“Is that what you’re worried about?”
“Hell, yeah. I would never want to hurt you.” My lips graze hers and she closes her eyes.
“There’s no pressure. Everyone already thinks we’re dating. So maybe instead of fake dating, we can step it up to friends who like to…” she pauses, and her voice is raspy and strained.
“Kiss? You want to up the game a bit?” I tease, and I nip at her bottom lip.
“I do. But I’m fairly certain I’m not as experienced as you. I’ve only been with two guys, and neither were all that exciting. So you need to be patient with me.”
I press myself against her, needing her to feel how badly I want her. I want to pummel any man who’s ever touched this woman. I’ve never been a jealous man, nor a possessive one.
But everything is different with Cosette.
“Don’t you worry about any of that. You’re absolutely perfect to me. I just want to make you feel good. Are you all right with that?”
Our breaths are coming hard and fast and I haven’t even touched her yet.
“Yes,” she says as her fingers tangle into my hair. “No pressure, okay? Let’s just see what happens.”
I smile. This girl is too perfect.
I lift her off the ground and her legs wrap around my waist as my mouth covers hers and I walk her toward my apartment.
When we’re inside, I keep kissing her, her back against the door. “You taste so fucking sweet,” I whisper against her mouth, licking the seam between her lips for more. Her little pink tongue meets mine and she makes this perfect moan that shoots straight to my dick. I’m a goner. I fly down the hall toward my room. Once we’re there, I set her on the edge of the bed and get an instant rush when she pulls her tank top over her head. Her bra is cream lace and I can see her pink rosebud nipples through the lace. She falls back on her elbows looking up at me and I pull her shorts off so I can see whatever lacy bits she has going on down here too. Her stomach is flat and defined, so delicate that I’m afraid of crushing her, but she tugs me toward her with pure greed and drags my shirt over my head.
“I would want to take it slow if I hadn’t been imagining this all day long,” she says. “There will be time for slow later, yes?”
“Holy hell, I love the way you think.” I’m out of my pants and briefs faster than she can blink and the sinful look in her eyes is all the foreplay I need. “But first things first. Get naked,” I whisper, grinning. “Take it all off and we’ll see how fast you want to go when I have my tongue between your legs.”
Her mouth parts and her whole body flushes. I’ve always wondered if it did that. And then my mouth is hanging open when she takes her bra off and throws it at me, all tease, then lowers the lace down her legs.
I lean over her when she falls back into my pillows, enjoying the insanely beautiful picture she makes on my bed.
I kiss her then, the way I’ve wanted to every time we’re together. It’s different this time without an audience, knowing we’re both here in this moment and meaning it.
There is nothing fake about this kiss.
My dick tries to reach out and seize the moment, but I’m determined not to speed this part up, no matter how fast she thinks she wants it.
We kiss and kiss and kiss, until I’m drunk on her. Her tits against my chest are making me crazy and she’s squirming up to meet me, while I try not to let the lower halves of our bodies touch all the way just yet.
Patience, my sweet Cosette.
I do what I’ve always wanted to do—I bury my face in her neck and inhale. “You always smell so good.” I don’t stay there long though because every part of her smells like this. I bury my face in her breasts next, enjoying how they feel and taste and how responsive she is to my every touch. “You’re so pretty all over,” I whisper into her skin, gradually making my way down her body while still tweaking her nipples. “Such a pretty pink pussy.”
She giggles and it’s cut off with a moan when I take a long swipe of her with my tongue.
“Mmm,” I moan into her and she latches onto my hair for dear life.
Time stands still until I hear her chanting my name.
She looks completely sated when I come up for air. Like a fucking angel. I’m about to ask her if she’s okay, if she needs more or feels done, but she pulls me down on top of her like a woman with super strength.
“Hi,” I whisper, against her mouth.
“I need you now,” she says.
I don’t need to be told twice. Once I’m covered, I sink into her wet warmth like a man starved. She’s so wet that it doesn’t take as long as I thought it might for her to adjust to my size, but still I take my time. I can’t stop staring at her, the way her teeth clutch her bottom lip as I go deeper.
“You’re filling me up so good,” she whispers. “I’ve never … it’s never … more, please.”
Damn. She’s killing me. I have to give her what she wants, and oh when I do, it unleashes the beasts in both of us. Her hands are all over me, a sheen of sweat covering her skin, and the sounds she makes are the best kind of torture. I impale her and she clutches my ass with her feet and hands, wanting more and more. It’s the best goddamn experience of my life. I can feel every twitch she makes, thank God for ultra-sensitive condoms, and when she’s close, I dive in even deeper, hitting her G-spot and making sure I rub against her clit at the same time. Every part of her begins to tremble and she squeezes my cock so hard I see the fucking stars.
“Caden, oh my God,” she shouts.
And I am right behind her. “Fuck, fuck, fuuuuck.”
I practically blackout when I explode.
There is absolutely no denying that our bodies were made for each other.
Chapter Sixteen
Cosette
Sacre dieu, merde, zut … French curse words flood my brain as I replay the events from last night. I never knew it could be like this.
But my fake boyfriend is full of surprises.
He’s actually upgraded to so much more.
There is nothing fake about what went on last night, and late into the morning.
The man delivered more than I ever knew possible.
And Gus was not lying at all about what Caden’s been hiding in his pants. I flush and get hot all over just thinking about it.
I think about my time with Jeremy, the urgency that was always there when we were together. The dread that I felt every time he wanted to have sex. It was a task, not an experience. I thought that was the norm. But Jeremy was clearly just a selfish lover. And Jacques was very similar the few times that we were together in college, though he didn’t strike me as selfish, just inexperienced. I’d decided back then that I just wasn’t a super sexual person. Jeremy all but agreed, but made me feel like it was okay for him to chase his own pleasure and it was my fault that I didn’t feel any of those things.
But oh my, Caden could teach a course on pleasing a woman. In fact, he should.
He moves just a little, letting me know he’s waking up.
“Have you ever considered sharing your talents with other men? You know, spread the love around,” I say when I rest my head on his chest and look at him.
His eyes are just opening, though I’ve been up swooning for the past thirty minutes.
His hand wraps around the back of my neck and he blinks a few times as he takes me in.
“What are you talking about, lover? I love that I can call you that now and it’s actually true.” His voice is gruff and sexy, and I have to bite down on my bottom lip because Caden makes me feel all the things.
I smile. “You’re pretty amazing at the whole sex thing. I think you should share your knowledge with the other struggling blokes.”
He barks out a laugh. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Cosi.”
My breath catches in my throat and my mouth goes dry.
What is this man doing to me?
His dark eyes are studying me, and his lips are still swollen from kissing me for hours last night. His skin is tanned velvet muscle, and his stomach is chiseled with defined abs that make it impossible to keep my hands to myself.
“You’re beautiful,” I whisper.
“Where have you been hiding all my life?” he asks.
I feel my eyes well with emotion. I’ve never felt such a connection to another person before, but I’ve felt it all along with Caden, haven’t I? And now that we’ve been together, I feel almost overcome with emotion.
Maybe he’s the push that I’ve needed all along to get out of an unhappy relationship. To start standing up to my mother, and to take control of my own life.
“Right here,” I croak, and he pushes to sit up a bit, concern laced in his dark gaze.
“Hey, hey, what’s going on?” He tips my chin up, forcing me to look at him.
“I just feel…” I pause and swipe at the single tear trailing down my cheek.
“Feel what? Is this too much?” He’s stroking my hair away from my face.
“No, it’s definitely not too much. It’s not enough.” I shrug. “It’s overwhelming to feel things you’ve never felt before, you know? Oh my gosh, I probably sound crazy. We have sex for the first time and now I’m all weepy and emotional. I swear I’m not that girl, not normally at least.”
“Stop. I love that you’re feeling weepy. I’m feeling it all too, Cosette. I think I’ve been feeling it for a while. But I know you want to be on your own, and I don’t want to rush you.”
I push up on my knees and face him. “I wanted to be away from Jeremy once and for all. I wanted to find myself and what I wanted. And all of that led me to you. This is everything that I want right here.” I intertwine my fingers with his and really put myself out there.
I’ve never felt more vulnerable and I don’t even mind it because it’s Caden. I know I’m safe with him.
“That’s what I want to hear, because I’ve been fighting these feelings for a long time. And I don’t want to fight it anymore,” he says, using his thumb to gently stroke my jaw. I close my eyes and relax.
“So what does this mean?” I whisper and open my eyes to meet his gaze.
“It means we go all in, right?” he says.
I nod. “But you aren’t used to being in a monogamous relationship, right? I need to make it clear that I don’t share, Caden. It’s not a gray area for me. I’ve been with a guy who cheated on me, and I’m not settling for anything less than being all in this time around.”
He nods. “I’ve never cheated on a woman. Yes, it’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship, but when I’m in, I am all in. And sharing you is not an option, Cosi. I thought I made that clear with Alexander.” He growls at the thought and my head falls back in laughter.
“So possessive,” I tease.
“Only where you’re concerned.” He pushes up and rolls me on my back as he hovers above me.
“So we’re really doing this, huh?”
“Hell, yeah, we are. I think it’s been real for me for a long time.” He smiles down at me and my stomach does these little flips. I suck in a long breath.
“Me too. Maybe it was real the whole time,” I say, because I think that’s probably true for me.
“Maybe.” His mouth covers mine, and I get lost in Caden Taylor once again.
“Hey, baby,” Caden whispers in my ear as he comes up behind me and wraps his hands around my waist.
The past few days have been dreamy. We spend our time at work together and our time outside of work together.
I’ve never been happier.
“Hey,” I say, as I turn around to face him.
The hotel is quiet as most of the workers have gone home for the day. The opening is fast approaching and Caden and I have been working long hours here to wrap things up.
“Did they get everything hung for you on the top floor?” he asks, and I run my fingers through his hair.
“They did. It’s looking so good. Did you get everything completed in the restaurant and meet with the chef?”
“Yep. It’s all coming together. It feels good, right?”
“It does. Proud of you,” I say, pushing up to graze my lips against his because when he’s near, I can’t help myself.
“Proud of you, lover.” He smiles. “You want to go christen that suite?” he asks, and now he covers my mouth with his. His tongue slips in as his hands glide down my body, stopping to squeeze my ass.
I giggle against his mouth and pull back. I’m panting and ridiculously turned on, but I fight the urge to do exactly what he’s suggesting. We haven’t kept our hands to ourselves since the minute we decided to give this a go. And I’m not complaining about one minute of it. I’ve never been so attracted to a man before, nor have I ever felt all the things that he makes me feel.
“We have dinner at my parents’ house in fifteen minutes. You know how Maman is about tardiness. It’s her second biggest pet peeve.”
“What’s her first?” he asks, tilting his head to the side as his grin spreads clear across his handsome face. His dimple is on full display, which happens every time the man smiles at me. It does all sorts of crazy things to me.
“Jorts.”
“Jorts? What is that?” he asks as his gaze dances with anticipation. Pops of gold and amber dancing in the dark orbs.
“Jean shorts. You know, jorts.”
He barks out a laugh and it bounces around us as we stand in the hallway leading to the corporate offices.
“Jean shorts are your mother’s number one pet peeve? Don’t tell Pen. I think those are her favorite item of clothing. Preferably the shortest ones she can find.”
I chuckle. “Mine too. I just don’t wear them around my mother to save myself the long lecture that always follows. And she’ll be in rare form tonight because she’s going to be a wreck about leaving Louie.”
“This is the first time she’s ever left him, right?”
