Redemption on Rivers Ranch

by Kathy Douglass

  “I’m surprised you still know how to do that.”

  “Why? We must have done it a hundred times over the years.” Carson had often followed Avery McAllister, one of his father’s ranch hands, around. The older man had never married and didn’t have kids, so he hadn’t minded the company. Over time, he’d taught Carson how to do lots of jobs around the ranch. When Gabriella had started hanging around, he’d let her help, too. When Carson was old enough to do repairs on his own, Gabriella had assisted. The two had made a great team. Even Mr. Rivers hadn’t complained that Gabriella was interfering with Carson’s chores since he completed the tasks twice as fast with her help.

  “But it’s been years. Unless you’re working as a ranch hand in Ohio.” Carson put the hammer in his saddlebag.

  Gabriella sighed. “Sadly, no. I haven’t even been on a horse in years.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Isn’t everything?”

  “Yep.” She inhaled deeply, breathing in the smell of grass. In that moment, she was filled with peace. She didn’t want to ruin that feeling by talking about anything unpleasant.

  They got back on their horses and continued to ride the fence line. As they went, they talked about everything except her disastrous marriage and his broken engagement. They made a few more minor repairs before turning around and heading for the house. Gabriella couldn’t think of the last time she’d enjoyed herself this much, and she was sorry for the moment to end. There was so much she wanted to say to Carson. So much she wanted him to say to her.

  Had he felt the same attraction she had? And if so, did he want to act on it and see where things led? She wished the answer to those questions was yes, but she couldn’t ignore the fact that she hadn’t seen or heard from him in days. He might be busy, but he could have taken a moment to seek her out if he wanted. He could have wandered over any night if he had wanted to. But he hadn’t. If she hadn’t sought him out today, he would have been content to let another day pass without contact.

  For as well as they got along, things were complicated between them. Were they two people renewing their friendship or were they two people starting a romance? What did Carson want? She recalled Raven’s words. The other woman was right. Carson needed friends. People in his life who cared about him. She definitely fit the bill. That was what he needed, so for now it would have to be enough.

  And what had happened with his father? She desperately wanted to know—and not just to satisfy her curiosity but to be a better friend to him. He might not want to tell her yet, but there was something she needed to say regarding his father. Once they were in the stables, brushing the horses, Gabriella spoke.

  “You know, I want to apologize to you.”

  “For what?” He paused and looked at her.

  “When your father died, I could have called but I didn’t. I only sent a card and some flowers, which in retrospect seems kind of cold. I was so wrapped up in my own problems that I didn’t consider what you and your mother were going through. I should have done more to reach out.”

  Carson gave a bitter laugh. “You did enough. More than was necessary.”

  Gabriella thought the response was odd, but she didn’t comment on it. Who knew what kind of relationship Carson and his father had? When they were kids, Carson’s dad had seemed to dote on him. But as Carson had gotten older, his father’s attitude had changed He’d become more demanding of Carson, setting what appeared to Gabriella to be impossibly high standards. And if Carson failed to reach those expectations, his father seemed incredibly disappointed. But over a decade had passed since she’d spent time here. Their relationship could have improved. Or it could have gotten worse. But it wasn’t her business so she wouldn’t ask now. Perhaps he was no more interested in discussing his father than she was in discussing her marriage.

  The happy mood that they’d enjoyed on the ride faded away and Gabriella knew her comment was the cause. Sadly, she didn’t know how to restore their earlier easy communication.

  Once they finished grooming the horses, she thanked Carson for letting her ride with him and returned home to shower before she picked up the kids. As she drove down the road, she became more convinced that something was hurting Carson. As his friend, she was going to do what she could to help him.

  * * *

  Carson felt Gabriella’s absence the minute she was gone. As she’d walked away, he’d wanted to call her back and beg her to stay a little bit longer. Of course he didn’t. He couldn’t. It was best for everyone if they didn’t get too close. How would she feel about him once she learned that his father had killed a man in cold blood? And what would she think about him if she knew that he still missed his father sometimes?

  According to the journal Carson had found, Karl had thought Carson was a loser. Although his father had often been hard on him, Karl had never once spoken the word “loser” to Carson. And he’d never suspected that his father had felt that way. Sometimes Carson wished he’d never found those journals and discovered the truth.

  That was the good thing about Gabriella. She hadn’t been around for years and didn’t know what his father had done. He wasn’t constantly bombarded by the truth when she was around. Unlike when he was with other people, he didn’t have to wonder if she was trying too hard to act normal. She didn’t have a clue about his past, and he wanted to keep it that way.

  If he kept her in the dark, their relationship wouldn’t grow closer or become deeper. They couldn’t truly be best friends with a giant secret between them. If he held back from her, he couldn’t ask her what had happened to send her running back to her aunt’s ranch. He wanted to know what had gone wrong in her marriage and whether or not she was still in love with her ex-husband. But since he wasn’t willing to talk about difficult topics pertaining to his personal life, he wasn’t entitled to ask her about anything hard for her to discuss, either. Fair was fair.

  When Carson finished with the horses, he went inside the house to his mother’s office. He’d been avoiding her office as well as his father’s for months. But being around Gabriella had awakened feelings of nostalgia and a longing for the good old days.

  He pulled several dusty photo albums from a bookcase and then sat down in a chair near the window. He opened one and came face-to-face with himself as an hours-old newborn. Though he’d been a cute baby—all babies were—he was looking for memories. He flipped a few pages and landed on a picture of himself as a toddler. He was dressed in cowboy boots and hat, clinging to his father’s hand. Karl was smiling from ear to ear, his pride apparent. Carson reached out and touched his father’s face. When he realized what he was doing, he snatched his hand back and turned the page.

  How many times did he have to remind himself before it stuck—his father had been a murderer? Karl Rivers didn’t deserve to be remembered fondly. Cherishing his memory would be like condoning his father’s actions. Or forgiving him. Karl had never sought forgiveness; nor did he deserve it.

  Carson flipped through a few more pages, and his heart ached each time he saw a picture of his father and him together. He soon discovered that the volumes were organized by year, so he ignored the really old ones, focusing instead on the albums that included Gabriella.

  His mother had taken pictures of everything, determined not to miss a second of his childhood, so there were hundreds of photographs of him and Gabriella together. A few of the images had him laughing out loud. Although Carson had been a quiet, self-contained child, he’d been bolder and taken risks when Gabriella was around.

  He came upon a picture of the two of them standing arm in arm beside the corral fence. Gabriella’s shirt was covered with dirt and her shorts had a tear in them. Her knees were covered with drying mud and there was a huge smear of mud on her face. He’d been just as dirty, with clumps of mud in his hair. Despite their appearance, the two of them were grinning from ear to ear.
<
br />   They’d been ten years old and two decades had passed, but he could remember that day as clearly as if it was yesterday. They’d decided to walk on top of the fence circling the corral. It had rained earlier that morning, so the painted wood was slippery. He’d only taken two steps before he’d fallen off. Gabriella had teased him mercilessly. He’d tried to warn her that the wood was slick, but she’d ignored him. Pushing him aside, she’d climbed on the rail and done a crazy spin in attempt to prove how much more graceful she was than him. Seconds later she’d gone sailing through the air, her arms flailing wildly. She’d crashed to the ground, landing in a huge mud puddle. She’d screeched and then burst into laughter.

  He’d laughed and offered her a hand to help her to her feet. Before he knew what she’d planned, she’d pulled him into the mud with her. They’d been rolling around, wiping mud on each other when his mother had come along. She’d snapped a few pictures before telling them to hose off. Normally his mother hadn’t liked him to get so dirty, but that day she hadn’t chastised him. His joy had mattered more than upholding the image of a perfect family.

  Carson slipped that picture out from behind the protective plastic and set it on the arm of the chair. He thought Gabriella would enjoy seeing pictures from their past. And he knew her kids would get a kick out of seeing their mother as a child. He flipped through the rest of the books, and over the next hour he amassed a stack of photos filled with memories to share with his good friend.

  Reliving the past had made him feel better than he had felt in a while. Whistling, he rose and went to his office, intent on getting the ranch’s books in some semblance of order. He needed to ready them for his appointment with Roz Martin, one of Sweet Briar’s newest residents. She’d recently opened her own accounting office in town. Hopefully, things would go well, and he could hand over the books to her and dedicate himself to the tasks on the ranch he preferred.

  When he’d done all he could, he headed to the kitchen. He was hungry, but nothing appealed to him. Then he remembered Gabriella’s open invitation for dinner. Hopefully, it still stood and he wouldn’t have to suffer through another frozen meal. More than that, he’d get to see her again. Despite his common sense warning against it, she was coming to mean a lot to him. He just hoped getting close wasn’t a mistake they’d both regret.

  Chapter Eight

  “Okay, let’s go,” Gabriella called up the stairs. When there was no response she shook her head, went upstairs and checked the bedrooms. Justin and Sophia were nowhere to be found. It didn’t take much guessing to figure out where they were. They had to be at Carson’s. They’d decided he was their best friend and went over there every chance they got. She’d reminded them repeatedly that although they were on vacation, he wasn’t. Working with horses was his job. Lucky for them, he never complained about them constantly showing up and following him around.

  Even so, she hadn’t expected them to go to Carson’s today. The sleepover at the youth center was tonight. They’d talked about it for days. Joni had requested that families who were able bring treats to share with the other kids. Sophia and Justin had run amok in the candy aisle of the Walmart near the highway. They’d each selected three large bags of individually wrapped candy. Since it was for sharing, Gabriella had let them get it all. Her children had benefited from their time at the youth center and Gabriella was grateful for the opportunity to show her appreciation.

  Gabriella went outside to wait for the kids to return. In a couple of minutes, they ran up the driveway.

  “We went to tell Carson goodbye,” Justin said.

  “He told us to have a good time. He wants us to tell him all about it when we see him again,” Sophia added. “I told him we would.”

  “Good idea. You can tell him tomorrow.”

  “I don’t know if he’ll be back. He said he had to go out of town to deliver a horse today.”

  Really? He hadn’t mentioned that to her. Not that he needed to keep her abreast of his plans. “Okay. Well tell him the next time you see him. Now, let’s get your stuff into the car. You don’t want to be late.”

  They grabbed their brand-new sleeping bags, backpacks and bags of candy and then scrambled into the SUV. As they drove down the highway, they talked about which of their friends they hoped to see and the games they wanted to play. Their enthusiasm was heartwarming. Coming here had been the right decision.

  We could live here permanently.

  The idea came out of nowhere, and although the prospect held a great deal of appeal, Gabriella didn’t allow herself to entertain it for long. They couldn’t stay here. The children’s father was in Ohio, and she couldn’t move them so far away from him. Reggie had called them the other night out of the blue, something she took as a good sign. She’d been surprised to hear his voice and had nearly dropped the phone. Clearly, he missed them and wanted to know about their lives.

  She’d pushed down the anger that had sprung up out of nowhere and handed the phone to Justin. She’d tried not to eavesdrop, but since they were all in the kitchen eating a snack, that had proved impossible.

  Justin had talked a lot about riding horses on Rivers Ranch and swimming in Carson’s pool. After a while he’d handed the phone over to his sister. Sophia hadn’t talked as much, but Gabriella heard her mention Carson and her horse. She’d told him about the fun she was having at the youth center, too, but Carson had definitely dominated their conversation.

  When Sophia had handed the phone back to her, Reggie’s first question had been about Carson. “Who is this man that you and the kids are spending so much time with?”

  She’d been startled by the fury in his voice. He hadn’t shown the least bit of interest in the kids for over a year. He’d barely acknowledged their last birthdays. Now he was all concerned about who they were spending time with? He had to be kidding her. Sure, she wanted him to be a part of Sophia and Justin’s lives, but he had lost the right to question who Gabriella spent time with.

  She’d never thought of Reggie as a selfish person before, but now she was seeing him in a different light. Perhaps he liked thinking that she was sitting alone in this house pining over him. Maybe he liked believing there was a woman out there who’d never gotten over him the way he’d never gotten over Natalie. She had no intention of living her life that way. She deserved better than to be an afterthought. And so did her kids.

  “Are you listening, Mommy?” Sophia’s voice cut through her musings.

  “Sorry. What did you say?”

  “I said that Jessica and Jason are having a party and we’re invited.”

  “Okay. We can go shopping for gifts.”

  The kids looked at each other and laughed.

  “It’s not a birthday party. It’s a fun-in-the-summer party. Kids here have those, you know,” Justin said as if he’d become an authority on the kids in Sweet Briar.

  She didn’t know that, but she made a point to ask Vicki for details.

  Gabriella pulled into the youth center parking lot. It was jammed with cars, and she circled it twice before lucking upon a spot. Every parent in the vicinity seemed to be taking the opportunity to have a night to themselves. Seeing the number of kids running to the front of the building, Gabriella felt a moment’s hesitation. Had they planned on this many kids showing up? Would there be enough adult supervision? Her kids were little and basically newcomers. Would they feel comfortable? Before she could ask them if they were sure they wanted to stay all night, they’d hopped from the car and grabbed their gear.

  “Hey. There’s Ms. Joni and the mayor,” Sophia said, pointing across the lot.

  “The mayor is here?” That was something Gabriella hadn’t expected. Maybe this event was a bigger deal than she’d thought. But how did Sophia know what he looked like?

  “Yes. He’s married to Ms. Joni and they have a baby. The mayor comes here a lot to say hi.” Well, that explained that. Sophia spo
tted a friend and dashed away. The two little girls squealed and then admired each other’s sleeping bags.

  Justin walked beside Gabriella, looking for a friend. She was hoping they’d run into a kid he knew when she heard Justin’s name being called. His face lit up as a boy ran up to him. Forgetting all about her, her kids went inside the building with their friends.

  “It’s sad the way we become unnecessary when they see their friends,” a woman said as she and another woman came up beside her.

  Gabriella smiled at the women. “Yes. Or maybe they’re embarrassed to be seen with me. I’m definitely not the coolest mom.”

  “Oh, they’re too young for that. You have a couple of years before they want to be let out of the car before their friends can see you together. I’m Carmen Knight, by the way, and this is my sister, Charlotte Tyler.”

  Gabriella introduced herself. “It’s nice to meet you. Are your kids inside?”

  Carmen nodded. “My oldest daughter, Alyssa, is a teenager, so she’s volunteering to help with the younger kids. My other daughter, Robyn, is participating, and I have strict orders not to do anything to embarrass her. I also have twin boys, who unfortunately are too young to spend the night.”

  “My son, Bobby, has been looking forward to this all year,” Charlotte said. “He’s already inside.”

  “How are they able to keep up with all of the kids?” Gabriella asked.

  “Organization,” Carmen said without hesitation. “And a ton of volunteers. In addition to the teenagers, they have college students who help out. Our husbands will be here, too. My husband is the chief of police and Charlotte’s husband is the town doctor. Trust me, the kids are in great hands.”