Queen of Kings

by RH Tucker

  “I have a class.”

  “Oh.”

  “I’d totally miss it, but we have a test today and—”

  “No, no. It’s fine. I didn’t … I mean, of course, you’re busy.”

  I reach over, taking her hand. “Hey. I was going to say …” I take a deep breath, staring at my steering wheel for a minute. It’s now or never. “I know you have a boyfriend.” Her gaze stays locked on mine. “I don’t know what you’re feeling, but … Jade, you’re incredible. You deserve someone who not only knows that but appreciates that. I haven’t known you very long, but the time we have spent together, you continue to prove that more and more. How great you are.” She breaks our stare, looking down at our hands that are still held together. “Is this … I mean, do you …”

  The words finally escape me. I don’t finish the thought because I’m scared that she doesn’t feel the same. Then she settles my nerves, nodding.

  I move closer to her, leaning over the armrest between us. Her eyes watch me for only a moment, before she stares at my lips, moving closer herself. There’s a slight pause from both of us, then we connect. When her lips meet mine, it’s like something I’ve been waiting for but never knew it. Like waiting for the sun to come out, and when it finally does, you feel the rays all over.

  Before I can relish in her any longer, she breaks away. Still keeping her forehead against mine, she brings her hand up to my cheek. “You …” she breathes out, a small smile creeping across her face. “You make me feel normal. Like I’m just a girl and not some celebrity.”

  “You’re both,” I tell her. “But I’m not interested in Jade, the Queen of Kings. I’m interested in Kristen. I like talking to her, laughing with her.” She bites her bottom lip, and I can’t take my eyes off of it. Connecting our lips again, she embraces me more, this time wrapping her arms around my neck. Our kiss goes deeper, and I feel her tongue slide over mine, before she takes a small bite of my lip, breaking away again. My thumb runs over her lips. “Kissing her.”

  She takes a deep breath, this time backing away, but still close enough to keep an arm around her. She glares at the dashboard again. “I need to break up with him.” Her timid, slightly nervous expression disappears after a moment. A new smile appears on her as she looks back at me. “Can we meet up after your class?”

  I can’t help it. I hurry to meet my mouth with hers again, and she doesn’t hesitate. Finally breaking apart, I keep my forehead against hers. “Absolutely.”

  19

  Jade

  After getting dropped off by Austin, I’m all smiles. I can’t help it. It doesn’t leave after I change clothes and get ready to meet up with the guys, nor does it go as we all head over to an interview with a popular music website. While I’m sitting next to Maddox, I keep turning my phone on and off, looking at Austin’s name and number. He gave it to me before I got out of his truck.

  “What is going on with you?” Derrik whispers to me, sitting on my other side.

  “Nothing,” I answer, still looking at my phone.

  The interviewer asks Maddox about the latest girl he’s been linked to. I’d usually roll my eyes at the repetitive question, but today it doesn’t even bother me.

  What has me smiling the most is that it feels like the beginning of an actual relationship. I know that might sound odd, but before Austin, I think I forgot what a relationship should be. I wasn’t introduced to Bret from a friend or anything like that. I met him at a concert where he was hustling to sell his band’s CD out of the back of their van. I thought it was charming. That it showed drive and motivation. And even if it did, if I really think about it, ever since that day it’s always been about him and his band.

  Maybe I was blind to it because I know the feeling of trying to get your music to the next level. Whatever the reason, being with Austin has felt more like a real relationship in the short time I’ve known him, than the entire time I’ve been with Bret. I feel a little bad about that, but at the same time, I don’t. Because Austin’s right. I do deserve someone who appreciates me. Not for what I can bring to the table or how I can help them. Everyone deserves someone who’s honest with them and values their worth as a person, not a celebrity.

  The interview ends, and we all walk toward the elevator. I still feel the boys’ eyes on me. “Okay, spill it,” Maddox says.

  “What?”

  “You started giggling in there, Jade,” Derrik tells me. “What’s going on?”

  “It’s nothing. Can’t a girl giggle?”

  EJ gives me a suspicious side-eye. The elevator dings, and before he or the others can say anything else, I walk out first. I don’t want to tell them yet, especially since I want to end it with Bret before talking about whatever this is with Austin. No matter what, I think he deserves that.

  “Hey,” Lily calls, getting up from a chair in the lobby.

  “Hey, what are you doing here?”

  Before she can answer, Maddox jumps in. “Maybe you can get it out of her.”

  “What?” she asks.

  “She’s got goo-goo eyes,” Derrik says, laughing.

  “Whatever,” I snap back at him.

  “You do,” Maddox agrees. He grabs my arm, turning me around. “Oh, crap. Please tell me you did it.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  He glances around at the others. I do the same, and we all wear the same bewildered expression. Maddox holds up his hands, on guard. “I know you guys have gone out for a while, and that you liked him. I don’t mean to sound like an insensitive jerk, I truly don’t. But please! Please tell me you finally dropped Bret’s ass.”

  My jaw drops, and I slap his shoulder. “Maddox, come on.”

  “I’m sorry, sis. But you know—”

  “Yes, I know. You don’t even need to say it.”

  He doesn’t respond. Then they all wait for me to answer. “Come on, Lily.”

  Taking her hand, I hurry out of the building, not wanting to extend this awkward standoff between the boys and me. We both rush to the parking garage, and by the time we get to her white Toyota Prius, I still haven’t said anything.

  She starts the car, but I feel her eyes on me. When she doesn’t put the car in gear to get us moving, I finally look over at her. “Is Maddox right?”

  “About what?”

  “Jade!”

  “Okay, okay.” My head falls between my shoulders. “Kind of.” When she doesn’t answer, I look over and see her eyes wide, waiting for me to continue. “I’m breaking up with him, but I still need to call and do it.”

  “Then call him!” she practically yells. “Sorry. What sparked this? Ohmygod! Did you? You and Austin?”

  “No. Not … not really.”

  “Whoa, back up there, girl. What exactly does ‘not really’ mean?”

  Letting out a sigh, the memories from the club last night, and everything that followed come to mind. “I went to that party Maddox was deejaying, and then Bret showed up, getting in a fight with EJ and Maddox. It was crazy. I just wanted to get out of there, and the next thing I knew, Austin was there. We went back to his place and—”

  “Oh, yeah. Here come the juicy bits.”

  “No, Lily. It wasn’t like that. I mean, we did end up kissing this morning—”

  “This morning?” she shouts. “You spent the night with him?”

  “No. Well, yeah, I did, but it wasn’t like that. We fell asleep on his couch.”

  “Right.” She starts laughing. Parked at a stoplight, she makes air quotes with her fingers. “Fell asleep.”

  “Stop.” I push her shoulder, laughing. The light turns green, and she begins driving again. “Can you take me to the studio?”

  “Okay. So, that’s it, then? You and Bret are over? For good?”

  I nervously start chewing on my fingernail. I know what I need to do. I know it’s the right thing. This whole morning since Austin dropped me off, I’ve been thinking about everything, and even if I didn’t have these feelings for Aust
in, Bret and I would still have to end. I liked him in the beginning, but after really thinking about it, those feelings never developed further.

  Maybe I was waiting for him to do more, or perhaps I thought I was going to see something I never saw in the beginning. But being with Austin has just proven that I can wait forever and still never find what I thought I wanted. Then someone comes along and makes you feel like you’ve wanted to for longer than you can remember.

  “Austin listens to me. Talks to me. He doesn’t treat me like a famous person and put me on a pedestal, or try to get anything from me. He just wants me.” I turn to her. She stops at a stop sign, glancing back at me, and her face softens. “Bret’s never wanted me. He just wants what he can get from me.”

  Reaching over, she takes hold of my hand. “I originally came to take you to lunch before my class, but this has turned into a complete girls’ day. I’m not leaving your side.”

  Her words force a chuckle out of me. “It’s okay. Just drop me off at the studio.”

  “No way. I am going to be there for you.”

  “Seriously, Lil. It’s fine.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I nod, smiling. It’s not forced or strained or even hurt. It’s a smile that makes me feel like everything will be okay.

  Remember that feeling I had earlier? The notion that everything was going to be okay? Yeah, well, after texting Bret to meet me at the studio—five hours ago—most of the feelings of completion have dissipated. Now, all I’m feeling is a nauseated annoyance.

  When I messaged him, he told me he’d be right over, but never showed up. I recorded a few more songs, worked out the hook on something I’ve been toying with, and actually started two brand-new tracks. It was easy. They aren’t easygoing or smooth, like what I’ve been working on. They’re angry and spiteful, and I broke five strings on the guitar trying to play them. That’s how annoyed I am with Bret right now.

  I wanted to get this over with quickly. I figured that wouldn’t be a problem, seeing as how Bret’s been chomping at the bit to help me in the studio. And by help me, I know what he really means is try and record his own vocals, lyrics, and maybe bring in his drummer or guitarist and push me out.

  Walking back into the mixing studio, I flip the record button off and take a seat in the chair. I pull out my phone, and see we’re going on six hours now. Grinding my teeth, I’m about to call him again when the studio door swings open. Of course Mitch, his guitarist, and Vic, his drummer, are in tow.

  “Hey, babe,” Bret casually says, approaching me.

  When I sent him the text message, I told him we needed to talk, but he didn’t reply with any questions. I’d expect him to be at least somewhat apologetic or cautious, especially after how things ended last night at the party, but he’s neither. He waltzes in, entirely at ease, as if everything is right in the world.

  “Where have you been?” I ask, getting up from the chair.

  Mitch and Vic ignore me, something I’m used to, and inspect the mixing studio. “Yeah, sorry about that,” Bret says. “We were talking to this manager at a club downtown. We might have a gig next week.”

  “That took you six hours?”

  He quirks an eyebrow. “You know how these things go. Well, plus we went and got some food, and then this girl Mitch knows wanted to talk about setting up a photoshoot with this photographer she’s friends with.”

  I pinch the bridge of my nose, sighing. “Of course you’d just blow me off until you’re ready.”

  He scoffs. “What’s wrong? We’re here now. What’d you want to work on? Vic likes to work with his own drum kit, but we can—”

  “Bret, we need to talk.”

  He stares at me, and I can see the confusion on his face. “Okay. Look, I know I didn’t ask you about the guys, but that’s only because I figured it’d be okay. They don’t have to—”

  “Bret,” I cut him off, “we need to talk. Alone.”

  Nodding, he stares past me at Mitch and Vic. “Hey, give us a minute, guys.”

  His bandmates leave the room, and he leans against the desk, staring at the floor. I’m not sure where to start, but I know I need to. Before I can, though, he speaks first. “I’m sorry about last night, but your brother was being a complete ass. He always—”

  “This doesn’t have anything to do with last night. Well, it does and it doesn’t.” He gives me a sideways glance. “Bret …” Taking a deep breath, I nod to myself. This is the right thing to do. Not because of how I feel around Austin, but for myself. “I think we should break up.”

  I don’t know what I’m expecting. He’s never been a very emotional guy, except when it comes to fighting with my brother. Throughout the entire time we’ve been dating, our actual dates have been clubs, meeting up with his friends, or going to concerts. The concerts could’ve been looked at as a nice time together, but that’s never what it was. He was always trying to get backstage somehow to work and network. So, I know I wasn’t expecting him to get sad or start crying or anything like that.

  But I was expecting something.

  “Oh,” he replies.

  I wait because there has to be more. He has to have more to say than that.

  But he doesn’t. “That’s it?” I ask.

  Lifting his brows, he nods slowly. “Yeah, pretty much. I mean, if that’s what you want, I guess that’s cool.”

  My shoulders slump in apathetic confusion. “Really? You don’t have anything else to say?”

  “Jade, what do you want me to say? You want to break it off, so fine. We’re over. It’s not like we were gonna get married or something.”

  No. It’s definitely not like that because I never even had the faintest of thoughts about marrying Bret, but still. “No, it’s not. But I can’t believe you. Did our time together mean nothing? Bret, I’m sorry, but I’ve never been in love with you. Don’t you want to know why?”

  He shrugs. “You can tell me if you want. If I’m honest, I was never in love with you either.”

  “Hey!”

  “Babe, you just said that exact same thing to me.”

  “First off, don’t call me babe. You don’t get to call me that anymore. And secondly … I don’t get it. What was this thing, then, Bret? Why were you even going out with me? I know we’ve had ups and downs, but just because I’m not in love with you, that doesn’t mean I never cared for you. Didn’t you … didn’t you ever have any real feelings for me?”

  For the first time in I don’t know how long I get a sense of real emotion from him. He steps closer, running his hand over my arm. “Of course I did. But, you’re you. You know?”

  I step back, feeling disgusted. I have an idea of what he might be alluding to, but I want to be wrong. Please let me be wrong. “No. I don’t know.”

  He chuckles. “Oh, come on. You’re the Queen of Kings. I’m a struggling musician. Not to mention your brother is a jerk who hates me. I knew what this was from the beginning.”

  The feelings of disgust and embarrassment vanish. Now the anger is starting to rise. I step closer to him, shoving a finger in his chest. “From the beginning? Please, Bret, enlighten me. What was this from the beginning?”

  Taking a deep breath, he nods to himself. “I mean, it was basically an arrangement, right? You know how bad I want this, and I was more than willing to be the rock star’s boyfriend.”

  I slap him across the face. “You’re an ass. This was never an arrangement for me. I wasn’t with you to help you out in exchange for you being my boyfriend. I was with you because I liked you. Looking back, I don’t know what I ever saw in you.”

  “Babe, come on.”

  “I said don’t call me that anymore. As a matter of fact, get the hell out of here.”

  “You’re mad? Seriously? You’re the one breaking up with me.”

  “Yeah, and I should’ve done it a long time ago. Leave.”

  “Whatever,” he hisses under his breath. Turning around, he heads to the door.

  My eye
s stay on the marble tiled floor, feeling like a complete idiot. I thought this was going to be difficult, but I had no idea I’d learn what he really thought our relationship was all about.

  “Just one thing,” he says. Looking up, I find him standing in the doorway, holding the handle. “Don’t screw me out of this, Jade. This is our shot.”

  My eyes narrow. “Yeah, that’s right. Not that we’re trying to have a mature talk about ending our relationship. No, we’re always talking business. Get out, Bret.”

  “I mean it, Jade. Me and the guys—”

  “Get out!”

  The silence floats between us for a moment longer. Then he scoffs and leaves the room.

  20

  Austin

  I continue to stare at my phone. Jade said she’d contact me after she broke up with Bret, but I figured it’d be sooner than what it has been. I definitely thought it’d be sooner than two days. I don’t know how it went, or even worse if she tried to do it, and he turned into a completely different person than the one I’ve met twice and is trying to get her to change her mind. And I don’t want to call her because I don’t want to seem pushy or anything like that. Besides, as much as I’ve tried to fight off these thoughts, she could’ve changed her mind.

  I felt like we had all the time in the world the morning we were together, and now I don’t know. I think what has me nervous the most is a nagging inside that continues to mount and eat away at me. She doesn’t know who I am.

  She knows me and the things I like. Everything I’ve told her is real, and everything I’ve said about how I feel about her is honest. But she still has no idea who my father is. I know I need to cross that bridge. She doesn’t seem like someone who would care if my father is Jimmy Richards or the local mailman, but the longer I go without telling her, the worse it looks. If she’s already disgusted with my dad and his shady business dealings, how much worse could it look that his son is starting to date her, and she doesn’t even know it?