True Blue

by Connie Bailey

  “No. I have to go. I told McIntyre I’d meet him with a copy of the entire play, but I promised you that you could read it first.”

  “I’m honored. Truly.”

  “As well you should be.” Peyton jammed his hat onto his head as he crossed the room. He stopped with a hand on the doorknob. “Hey, what show are you seeing this Christmas?”

  “I’m not going to New York. Astor invited me to his house.”

  “I thought he might. He bores the hell out of me, but he treats you well.”

  “Thanks for tolerating him.” As soon as Peyton was gone, Blue finished reading the play. It made him cry like a baby. Like Astor, he would have preferred an ending where Foxboy’s sacrifice resonated a little more. He didn’t like the bleakness of the character giving his life without causing a change. Maybe he was a little too conventional, but the ending as written was cathartic but unsatisfying.

  Blue looked at the time in the corner of the screen and reached for his phone. In a few minutes, he was listening to Astor talk him to sleep in his sonorous Boston accent. He dreamed of pristine fields of snow, of the scent of evergreen, and the jingling of silver bells. Sometime before dawn, his dreams morphed into the wet kind and he saw Heydn’s face hanging over him, as beautiful and as remote as the moon while Heydn’s cock plunged in and out, ceaseless as the tide. He woke to sticky sheets and the realization that he’d told Peyton the truth. He wasn’t going to get over Heydn Case.

  Chapter 11 “Blue,”Lily Aldrich greeted the young man. “How lovely to see you again.”

  Blue let the Aldrich’s chauffeur take his bags and put them in the trunk with Astor’s luggage. “Thanks. I’m really looking forward to this visit.”

  “Avery isn’t here, of course,” she went on. “So you’ll only have me to put up with for a while.”

  “I don’t mind,” Blue said.

  “Hey, are you two getting in, or are we spending Christmas Eve in front of the airport?”

  Lily and Blue both turned to look at Astor, who was already in the car sipping a soft drink. They exchanged a smile and climbed in. Mrs. Aldrich spoke to the driver and they pulled away from the curb. “Thanks for coming to meet us,” Astor said.

  “I wanted to, darling,” Lily said. “And it gave me a chance to pick up a few last-minute presents.”

  “That explains all the shopping bags in the trunk.”

  “It just didn’t look as if there were enough gifts under the tree with Blue’s name on them.”

  “You didn’t buy me presents!” Blue exclaimed.

  “You wouldn’t deny me the pleasure, would you, dear?”

  Astor smiled at Blue. “It’s okay. Mom and Dad know we haven’t had a chance to do much shopping. Just look happy when you open your gifts and everything will be fine.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  Lily chuckled. “I’ve never heard a boy sound so glum at the thought of prezzies. Blue, dear, you’ve already given me the most wonderful gift by befriending my lad here.” She squeezed Astor’s hand.

  “He’s not all that bad,” Blue said.

  “Don’t embarrass me with effusive praise,” Astor replied.

  “Like you need help embarrassing yourself.”

  Lily laughed again. “I miss having young men around. Perhaps we should invite some more of your school chums to visit when we’re at the lake this summer.”

  “We’ll talk about it, Mom.” Astor looked out the window at the Berkshires. “Any good powder in the mountains yet?”

  “I’m afraid I don’t know, darling.” Lily pointed to the cabinet that hid the electronics. “You can look at the weather channel if you like.”

  “Or I could get my laptop out,” Blue said.

  “It’s not critical. I don’t really care if we get to ski or not. I’m looking forward to two days of lying around and pigging out.”

  “Surely you’re going to show Blue the sights.” Lily paused when the two young men snickered. “Have I said something amusing?”

  “No, Mom.” Astor smirked at Blue. “I’ll show him the sights. All the natural wonders.” The lodge was a chalet-style building of wood, stone, and glass on a grand scale. Perched on the side of a mountain near the tree line, it had a large back deck cantilevered over a sheer drop of 300 feet. It made Blue feel queasy when Astor jumped up onto the wide top railing and walked to the corner.

  “Could you come down from there?” “It’s the best view.”

  “It’s making me a little nervous.”

  “I’m not going to do a tap dance. I’m just looking. Why don’t you come up here with me?”

  “Screw that!”

  Astor turned to face Blue. “This is a lot wider than, say, a balance beam, for instance.”

  “You nearly gave me a heart attack just now. Please come down.”

  “Are you really that worried about me?”

  “Yes.” Blue held out his hand. “Please?”

  Astor jumped lightly down to the deck and took Blue’s hand. “Sorry.”

  “I’d feel terrible if anything happened to you.”

  “Then I guess I’d better cancel those skydiving lessons.”

  “Parachutes are fine. Just don’t go dancing on the rims of any volcanoes.”

  “I’ll scratch that off my list of things to do before I die.” Astor leaned toward Blue.

  “Are you going to kiss me?”

  “Planning on it. Objections?”

  “You don’t care if your mom or someone sees us?”

  “Not really. Mom knows and doesn’t care. Dad…. I’m pretty sure Dad knows, but thinks it’s something I’ll outgrow.” Blue lifted his head and offered his mouth, glad his back was to the wall of glass. Astor framed Blue’s face in gloved hands and bent his neck to brush their lips together. Blue opened his eyes as Astor drew back a little.

  “You know what I’d really like for Christmas?” Astor smiled impishly.

  “I think I can guess. No promises on that one.”

  “I’ll just have to wait and see if Santa thinks I was a good boy.”

  “I think you’re a good boy.” Blue pulled Astor’s head down for another kiss. “But Santa’s a tough sell. Thanks again for inviting me to spend Christmas with you.”

  “If you hadn’t come home with me, I would’ve followed you to New York.” Blue gasped at the idea of being alone in New York City with Astor. “What a great idea!”

  “What?”

  “You and me in a big New York hotel bed with room service?”

  “That sounds nice.”

  “We could see a show, go to the zoo, eat falafel, and stay up for twenty-four straight.”

  “Well, maybe not straight,” Astor said.

  Blue grinned. “We have to do this. What about spring break?”

  “We’ll have to talk about it later. Are you hungry? I have a craving for ice cream.”

  “Any time is a good time for ice cream.” Astor and Blue went to the kitchen and were given big bowls of homemade peppermint ice cream. They joined Mrs. Aldrich in front of the great room’s fireplace and did their best to eat the ice cream before it melted. The two young men began talking about the new play and Astor’s mother insisted on hearing all about it. They were enacting a brief scene when her change of expression warned Astor.

  “Hi, Dad,” he said brightly as he turned around.

  “Hello, son,” Avery Aldrich said. “Good to see you again, Blue. Lily, can I talk to you for a few minutes? Sorry, guys; I won’t keep her long.” In less than ten minutes, a bell rang announcing dinner and Astor led the way to the dining room. His parents joined them and they enjoyed a delicious meal, but despite Lily’s skill at keeping the conversation light, Blue could feel the tension between the three Aldriches. They played charades after dinner, but no one’s heart was in it, and Astor was the first to bow out. Yawning hugely, he claimed to be tuckered out and headed for the stairs.

  “Hey, Blue,” he called as he started up. “Would you mind getting the fla
sh drive with the pictures I took at the museum?” Blue scrambled to his feet. “No problem. Goodnight, Avery and Lily,” he said as he joined Astor. “I thought you were throwing me under the bus for a minute there,” he said as they reached the top of the stairs.

  “Never.” Astor opened the door to his room. “Care to come in?”

  Blue walked into Astor’s room with a glance over his shoulder. “Just once I’d like to have sex someplace where I didn’t feel nervous about getting caught.”

  “Did you think we were going to have sex?”

  Blue punched Astor’s shoulder. “Very funny. I can just imagine what my face looks like. Was it good for you?”

  “Well, I did get you.”

  “Yes, you did. Now stop gloating. It doesn’t look good on you.”

  “Put this on.” Astor pulled a down parka from his closet.

  “Why? Do you have some fetish for the Michelin Man?”

  “No. It’s so you don’t have to go to your room and get your coat.”

  “Are we going somewhere?”

  “Yes.” Astor went to a window and opened it.

  “Does it have anything to do with why you disappeared when we first got here?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do I have to climb?”

  “Yes.” Astor went out the window and waited for Blue.

  Blue leaned out. “Are you going to say anything besides yes?”

  “Yes.” Astor caught Blue and kissed him before setting him on his feet. “Come on.” Blue held onto Astor’s hand as they walked a squeaky-crunchy path in the snow to the edge of the front yard and into the trees. There were lampposts at regular intervals, throwing pools of saffron light on the ground between the evergreens and up into their skirts. After a short climb, they reached a thicket of beeches and Blue stopped, staring in wonder. The bare branches of the trees, illuminated from below, shone like polished glass, each twig sheathed in ice, dripping with fragile jewels.

  “Did you do this?” Blue breathed.

  “A hose, a pump, and several gallons of water, plus the time and the temperature, and boom!”

  “It’s like magic.” “Me and my cousin used to do this when we were kids. We’d add food coloring to make different colors and break off the icicles and eat them. We were always disappointed when they didn’t have any flavor.”

  Blue put his arms around Astor. “This is the most beautiful thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

  “Then it was worth freezing my balls off.”

  “You froze your balls off? Then what are these?” Blue grabbed at Astor’s crotch.

  “I grew a new set spontaneously when you smiled at me.”

  “Ugh, that was bad. Cute, but bad.” Astor hugged Blue tighter. “Can I tell you something?”

  “Of course. I’m supposed to be getting to know you better, remember?” “Did you know I’m nineteen?” Astor began. “I’m a year older than everyone else in our class because I was out of school for a year when I was ten. My cousin Archer died that year. He was just five months younger than me and we were best friends from the cradle. After his funeral, I decided I wasn’t going to participate in a world that made no sense.”

  “I know that feeling.” “I can see that. That’s what really attracted me to you. I always liked the way you looked, but I never would have come on to you if we hadn’t been in the play together. Most of the time you keep your head down and your hair is in your face, so no one can tell what you’re thinking. But when you’re acting, your soul is right there in your eyes. I could see that you’ve been hurt like I have. I thought we might have even common ground to build a bridge between us.”

  “I’d say you have some of your dad’s talent for construction.”

  “You know what I’m asking you.”

  Blue sighed. “I don’t have an answer for you right now.”

  “It’s all right,” Astor said unconvincingly. “I can wait. It gives me a reason to stick around.”

  “When you said you didn’t want to participate in the world, you meant that you withdrew, right? You didn’t mean…suicide, did you?” “That’s something that we never figured out, my therapist and me. I took a rowboat out on a day when there was this huge storm. There were whitecaps on the lake and then the rain came bucketing down. It was impossible to row against the wind. I lost my sense of direction and just stopped paddling. A couple of big waves capsized the boat. I was hanging on to it when it occurred to me how easy it would be to let go. It would be out of my hands whether I lived or died, and, if my parents’ faith hadn’t lied to me, I’d see Archer again when I died. Dying seemed like the better option at that point.”

  “But you lived,” Blue pointed out the obvious. “My dad found me. He and some other men in powerboats went out in the storm to look for me. The next day, I was mortified when I realized that my little stunt had endangered the lives of several people. If any of the search party had been lost, that soul would be on my conscience.”

  Blue hugged Astor a little tighter, but he didn’t say anything.

  “After that, I tried very hard to never be any trouble to anyone. I soon found that it was easier if I had limited contact with people. It makes things so much less complicated, you know?”

  “I do.” Astor shivered. “I’d really love it if you never left.” Blue looked up, inviting a kiss, taking the lead and easily persuading Astor that the time for talking was over for a while. As their lips parted, their breath emerged in pale plumes that mingled and dissipated as their mouths came together again. Blue clutched at Astor’s shoulders, tipping his head back, hair catching on bark, as the other young man pushed up his jacket and shirt and licked at his nipples. The sensation was exquisite as the wet buds furled tightly in the sharp cold sending a bolt of intense pleasure shooting to the end of Blue’s cock.

  “Damn, you’re beautiful,” Astor said. “I wish I had a picture of this. Your black hair and white skin and your nipples so rosy with the snow and the beeches in the lamplight. I’ll never forget this.”

  “Let’s go back to your room and fool around,” Blue answered.

  Heydntook a bottle of water from the refrigerator and held it to his forehead as he left the kitchen and went out onto the back deck. With his mom stuck in Japan, he’d stayed on campus and accepted an invitation to a party at Bennington Kaplan’s house. He hadn’t seen Bennie since he’d arrived at the house and he knew her boyfriend Logan had gone home for the Christmas holiday. It occurred to him that Bennie might not even know about the party and that he should probably go in and get his jacket. But the cold felt good, like it was waking him up from the dullness of two hours spent in rooms filled with dense smoke and denser music. Only when his teeth began to chatter did he go back inside.

  “Hey, I know you.” A blonde girl waved at Heydn and lost her balance. She pitched forward and he caught her, getting a nose full of liquor fumes.

  “It’s Clarissa, right?”

  “I knew I knew you. I spilled my drink.”

  “Want some of my water?”

  “What’s in it?”

  “Minerals, I think.”

  “No, I mean, like is there like some X in it or something?”

  “We’re definitely failing to communicate.”

  “Who’re you?” Clarissa looked blearily up at Heydn.

  “I’m the guy that got arrested for doing you a favor.”

  “What?”

  “The last time I was here you asked me to drive your dad’s car home so you wouldn’t get in trouble. You were drunk then, too.”

  “It’s a freaking party, man. Lighten up.”

  “Yeah, I guess it’s not your fault that your dad reported the car stolen.” “What are you talking about? My dad lives in Connecticut.”

  “Do you remember giving me a set of keys at another party here?”

  “I remember some frat boy I boffed giving you the keys to Bennie’s car.”

  “Bennie’s car!”

  “Yeah, she just got a new o
ne. I guess what’s-his-name thought it would be a good joke on her to make her think it was stolen.”

  “It was a joke?”

  “More like a prank. He called the cops from the bedroom right after we did it.”

  “Clarissa.”

  “Yeah?” She peered up at him again.

  “Why would the cops need to be involved to pull a prank on Bennie?”

  Clarissa’s kittenish features scrunched up as she thought hard. “Guess there wasn’t any reason to call them,” she said at last. “Wow, that was a pretty mean trick to play on you.”

  Heydn shook his head. “I can’t believe it. Why would Allie do that?”

  “I don’t have a clue, but I feel kind of sorry for you. Want to get a room?”

  “No, thanks. I need to find a ride to the bus stop.”

  “Aw, poor…” Clarissa paused. “Who are you, anyway?”

  “Nobody,” Heydn said. “Don’t bother learning my name.” He propped Clarissa against the wall and walked out of the party. Shrugging into his jacket, he jogged the half-mile to the highway. It was another mile to the bus stop, but he barely noticed. His mind was occupied by the implications of the chance conversation with Clarissa. Why would Allerton set him up to spend a night in jail? That little prank had caused him to miss the track meet and nearly cost Acton a victory. Surely, Allerton wouldn’t harm the team deliberately; that made no sense. None of it made sense. In fact, nothing had made sense since he’d walked away from Blue. Everything he’d done since then had been phony. He’d pretended to be something he wasn’t to fit in with the kind of guys that bullied anyone weaker, the kind of guys who took their good fortune for granted, the kind of guys that would smile to his face and stab him in the back.

  Heydn reached the bus stop and glanced at his watch as he jogged in place. He didn’t have long to wait and he could kill time with a set of cool-down exercises. As his body went through the familiar routine, Heydn’s mind strayed again to the days when he’d come in from running and Blue would caress him while he got his breath back only to steal it from him again. Blue had always been honest about what he wanted, honest about everything. Heydn felt the burn of tears behind his closed eyelids. Had he really given up love for a free ride to college? Yes, he had. He hadn’t believed, hadn’t recognized it for what it was, hadn’t been strong enough or honest enough with himself to admit that Blue was what he wanted.