My Vows Are Sealed (Sealed With a Kiss)

by Carmen Richter

  Miss Ruth looked at Nathan, then back at me. “I’ll see you after the service.”

  Then she turned and strutted out of the room like she was on a catwalk, and it broke me all over again. Seeing her this happy over her son asking a girl out broke my heart, because I knew she’d never be that happy if that girl had been me. She’d been doing everything she could to keep us apart for over two years.

  Somewhere deep down, I’d known this would happen one day. The way Brendan had been acting lately, I’d allowed a little bubble of hope to start to rise, but I always knew I was reading way too much into things. He didn’t see me that way, and he never would. And he was too good of a person not to get any girl he wanted. Really, I guessed it could be a lot worse. Heather was a sweetheart.

  But I didn’t know how I was supposed to stay friends with him. How was I supposed to act like nothing had changed between us when everything had changed? How was I supposed to eat lunch with him, sit in youth group with him, let him give me big, long hugs every time he saw me, and know that when I wasn’t looking, he was holding someone else? Kissing her? Doing things that I wished more than anything he was doing with me instead?

  I couldn’t. I wasn’t strong enough to give him up completely, but I knew I had to take a step back. Re-draw the line. For my own sanity, and also for the sake of his new relationship with Heather. I got the feeling she wouldn’t be very happy about how close he and I had gotten lately, and I didn’t want to cause any problems between them. That wasn’t fair to either one of them.

  Naomi walked into the room and came to sit next to me at the coloring table. “Hey. So, what’d your dad say?”

  Again, I forced a smile. “He said I can go.”

  She squealed in delight, hugging my shoulders. “Yay! It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

  I nodded. “I’m excited.” A lump rose in my throat, and try as I might, I couldn’t keep it down. “I’ll be right back.”

  I grabbed my purse, got up, and rushed out of the room, making a beeline for the bathrooms in the lobby. I darted into one of the stalls, and I hadn’t even locked the door before the tears leaked out and I started sobbing.

  Not even thirty seconds later, I heard the bathroom door open again.

  “Darla?” Naomi called. “You in here?”

  “Yeah,” I croaked out, sniffling.

  I saw a pair of feet come to stand in front of my stall, and she quietly knocked. “Can I come in?”

  I unlocked the door and let it swing open, and her eyes widened as she took in my face. She came into the stall and shut and locked the door behind her, then turned around and pulled me into her arms.

  “What’s wrong, sweetie?” she asked. “You should be happy. Your dad’s actually letting you out of the house again.”

  Another sob tore out of my throat. “It’s stupid.”

  “My mom always says if something upsets you, it doesn’t matter how big or small it is. It’s not stupid,” she said as she rubbed my back.

  “Miss Ruth…just said…that Brendan…asked Heather…to homecoming,” I managed to get out through my tears.

  She gasped quietly, then tightened her embrace. “Oh, my God. I thought…I really thought he was going to ask you. I thought I was going to end up being a third wheel so you’d have a cover with your dad.”

  I shook my head. “I always knew he never saw me like that. He thinks of me like a sister, not like a girlfriend. But…I can’t help it. That’s not how I see him.”

  “Yeah, that’s kind of obvious to everyone,” she chuckled weakly. “And seriously, we all thought he liked you too.”

  “Nope,” I sniffled. “I knew he didn’t. I knew this would happen eventually. I just didn’t know it would hurt this much.”

  “It’s okay, sweetie,” she murmured. “You’re going to be okay. You’re going to meet someone one day. Someone who’s going to make you forget all about how much you like him.”

  “I don’t just like him,” I sobbed. “I love him. I know it’s stupid. I know I’m too young to say that. But I can’t help it. This isn’t just a crush, Nay.”

  “I mean, my parents met and fell in love when they were sixteen. They’ve been together ever since. I don’t think it’s stupid. When you know, you know. It doesn’t matter how old you are.”

  “Yeah, but he doesn’t feel the same way, and even if he did, we all know my dad’s never going to let me date, so it’s pointless to even think about it,” I said, taking a deep breath and trying to calm my tears. “Anyway, we can’t stay in this bathroom stall all night. Someone’s going to come looking eventually.”

  “We need to do something with your makeup,” she chuckled weakly. “It’s a mess.”

  I couldn’t help it. I chuckled too. Ever since my mom had started to allow me to wear simple day makeup at the beginning of this school year, Naomi had been helping me and showing me different styles and techniques, so I could try different looks, but still stay within what my dad would think was acceptable. And I had to admit, I was kind of getting addicted to it. It wasn’t a vanity thing; it was just fun.

  “That’s why I brought my purse in here,” I told her. “I’ve got stuff in it.”

  “Come on. Let me help you,” she said with a smile.

  We walked out of the stall, and I went to wash my face with some cold water. I grabbed all of my makeup out of my purse and put it on the counter, then wiped all the smeared makeup off of my face with a wet paper towel.

  “Hey, are you going shopping for a dress before the dance?” she asked as she helped me re-apply my foundation.

  “I think my mom’s taking me either tomorrow or Friday.”

  “Why don’t you talk to her and see if you can come with me and my mom on Friday? We still need to make this dance fun. Even though it’s probably going to be slim pickings with the dresses since we’re waiting until the last possible second.”

  I smiled and took the tube of mascara she handed me. “That sounds like fun. I’ll let you know tomorrow.”

  I quickly unscrewed the wand from the mascara tube and applied it. This was my absolute least favorite part of doing makeup. I hated sticking this thing right next to my eyeballs.

  “Okay. Just throw on a little blush so it doesn’t look quite so much like your cheeks are actually red, and you’ll be perfect,” she announced.

  I obeyed, then put all of my makeup back into my purse. We walked out of the bathroom together and headed back to the children’s room, where Brendan and Heather were now sitting and talking to each other.

  My eyes started to sting again, but I took a deep breath, swallowed down the tears, and went to sit next to Nathan on the floor.

  “Can I sit by you, bud?” I asked, trying desperately to distract myself from the new couple.

  Instead of answering me, Nathan got up and wrapped his little arms around my neck.

  “Why are you sad, Darla?” he asked.

  It took everything I had not to burst into tears all over again. This kid was too sweet, and he was so empathetic. He could always tell if someone was having a bad day and he always did everything he could to cheer them up.

  “I’m okay,” I told him. “It’s just girl stuff. I needed the hug, though.”

  He tightened his arms around me, and a fresh round of tears threatened to break free as I returned the hug. After a few seconds, he let go of me and settled on my lap, resting his head against my chest. I folded my arms around him, squeezing tight.

  Everything might have been about to change with his big brother, but I wasn’t going to let my relationship with Nathan change. I couldn’t. I loved him too much. He was more than just some kid at church to me. He was like the little brother I’d never had.

  “He missed you like crazy,” Brendan chuckled as he sat down next to me.

  I turned to look at him, and he was still looking at me like he always did. Like I was the only girl in the room.

  My eyes and nose started to sting again. He couldn’t keep doing tha
t. It wasn’t fair. Not to me, and not to Heather. But I didn’t know how to even begin to tell him that. I’d never dealt with anything like this before.

  So, instead, I just responded to his statement as I looked back down at his brother. “Yeah, I can tell. The feeling was mutual.”

  “Naomi said your dad’s actually letting you come to the dance,” he said.

  I nodded. “Yeah. We’re going stag together.”

  “I know. Do you guys want to ride with me and Heather?”

  Was he actually serious? I mean…was he? Had he really just asked me to come as a third wheel on his date?

  He might not have thought of me as girlfriend material, but I knew that he knew exactly how I felt about him. Well, maybe not exactly. He didn’t know how deep my feelings for him went, but he knew they existed.

  So what in God’s holy Name was he doing? Was this some sort of backward, convoluted pity ask?

  I might have been pathetic for wearing my heart on my sleeve, but I wasn’t that pathetic. Did he honestly think I’d just take the little scraps he decided to throw me and thank him for it?

  Absolutely not. He could go suck a rock.

  “Nope,” I clipped out, moving Nathan off of my lap and going to set up the stuff for the crafts.

  I understood that my feelings for Brendan were of the unrequited variety, but why couldn’t he have had the decency to tell me about this? Why did he have to just ask someone else out and let me find out through his mom? And why on Earth did he have to invite me along on their date, like I was the annoying kid sister his mom had made him bring along?

  I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t keep being his friend. It hurt too much. And the worst part was, he didn’t even care.

  Chapter 10

  Brendan

  Kiss From a Rose

  The godawful sound of “MMMBop” by Hanson blared from the speakers in the Charleston High gym as Heather and I walked in. Just like every year, the room had been transformed into a makeshift dance hall, with tacky streamers, balloons, and dangling stars all over the place and a gaudy disco ball hanging in the center of the room. I was about ninety-eight percent sure the dude who was standing at the punch bowl was spiking it, and there were kids all around us talking, huddled into corners like they didn’t want to be seen, and even making out right in plain sight. Basically, most people were doing everything but dancing.

  My eyes were immediately drawn to Darla in the middle of the dance floor with her three best friends. All of the air left my lungs as I watched her just letting loose and having fun without a care in the world, probably for the first time in her entire life. Her normally-straight blonde hair had a slight wave to it as it flew around her shoulders, and I didn’t think I’d ever seen so much of her skin before. She was wearing a shiny blue knee-length dress with spaghetti straps, and the top was cut just low enough to drive me out of my mind, but high enough to leave everything to the imagination.

  The desire to go pull her into my arms and tell her exactly how I felt about her was so strong I could taste it. That was always my plan for tonight, because I couldn’t keep tap-dancing around my feelings anymore. I needed to know if there was even a snowflake’s chance in Hell for us. I figured if her dad thought we were going as a group and that I had another date, he’d let it slide, so Heather had agreed to be my cover…after telling me that she needed the stealth just as much as I did because she couldn’t risk coming here tonight with her girlfriend.

  Yep. Girlfriend. Turned out I’d never had any reason to be worried about having to gently let her down, because she didn’t even bat for my team.

  Except that, for some reason, all of my plans had backfired on me. Before I could even tell Darla any of this on Wednesday night, she’d started giving me the silent treatment, and I had absolutely no idea what I’d done to piss her off. I’d tried to talk to her every day since then, but every time, she just walked away, and I didn’t want to push her.

  “She looks gorgeous,” Heather said, just loud enough for me to hear over the music. “She’s still not talking to you?”

  I shook my head. “I just wish I knew what I did. You know? We were fine at lunch on Wednesday, but then by the time I saw her at church that night, she and Naomi were both pissed at me. And Kate and Ashton won’t tell me a damn thing.”

  “They might not even know what’s going on,” she pointed out. “Darla’s always played things pretty close to the vest. I’d be willing to bet that Naomi just happened to be in the right place at the right time, and Darla needed to talk to someone. Otherwise, I don’t think she’d know anything either.”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever gone this long without saying a single word to her,” I sighed. “I hate it. Like, it physically hurts. If that makes any sense.”

  “You love her,” she murmured. “Of course it hurts.”

  I tore my eyes away from Darla and looked at Heather, shocked.

  Why had it taken someone else saying the word “love” out loud to put a label on what I felt for Darla? How had it taken me this long to realize just how deep my feelings went? Now that she’d said it out loud, it was so obvious.

  “Why does that surprise you?” she asked me. “It’s been pretty damn obvious to all of us for a long time. Maybe the way you love her has changed over the years, but you’ve loved her for as long as I’ve known you.”

  I nodded. There was no use in denying it. But with that realization came a lump in my throat that I had to swallow down.

  “And now she hates me,” I choked out. “And I have no idea why.”

  Heather gave me a hug. “It won’t last forever. Maybe she’ll talk to you tonight, now that we’re all here. Let’s go find out.”

  “Don’t you need to go find Christy?” I asked her.

  She chuckled. “Christy can wait for a few more minutes. This can’t.”

  As the song “Kiss From a Rose” by Seal started to play, Heather tugged on my arm, encouraging me to walk onto the dance floor. We wove through all the couples who’d started to slow dance, trying to get to Darla and her friends, who of course were standing right in the middle.

  Kate and Ashton saw us first, and they both flashed me a smile before turning back to each other and continuing their adorably awkward dance. I smiled as I saw Ashton steal a quick kiss from Kate, who flushed bright enough for it to be obvious, even with the mood lighting that was going on in here. The two of them had been dating for a couple of weeks, and they made a really sweet couple.

  And then Darla and Naomi saw me, and something between anger and devastation flashed across Darla’s face before she turned around and rushed off the dance floor, heading toward the gym doors.

  It felt like someone was stabbing me right in the heart. What had I done to hurt her? She was the absolute last person in the world I ever wanted to cause pain to.

  Kate stopped dancing with Ashton and turned to look at me, narrowing her eyes a little. “Brendan, you know I like you, but what the hell did you do to Darla?”

  I shook my head and sighed. “I wish I knew so I could make it up to her.”

  Naomi turned to look at me, and I’d never seen her look so pissed in the entire time I’d known her. “Are you actually serious right now?”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked, completely confused.

  “You really have no idea?” she bit out.

  “Naomi, if you know something, please tell me,” I begged. “I swear to God, I have no idea what I did to upset her. We were fine on Wednesday afternoon, and by the time I saw her on Wednesday night, she was giving me the silent treatment.”

  “Yeah. After you asked Heather to this dance as your date and then oh so generously offered to give us a ride too, like the annoying kid sisters your mom forced you to let tag along. What did you think would happen? You know how she feels about you,” she spat.

  “You did what?” Kate growled.

  “Oh, my God, Brendan,” Heather gasped, turning to look at me with daggers coming out of he
r eyes. “You didn’t tell her? You actually let her think that you asked me as your date and then offered her and Naomi a ride as third wheels? I told you the only way I was doing this was if you made it clear to her that this wasn’t a date. Dick move, my friend!”

  My head spun as I tried to catch up with what they were saying.

  I’d never told Darla that I asked Heather here as my date. I mean, I hadn’t spelled out that we were just coming here as friends, but I didn’t think I had to. Because what kind of asshole asked a girl to homecoming as a date and then offered to have two other girls who were going stag ride with them?

  Actually, when I thought back on it, she’d never even given me a chance to do that. I’d asked her if she wanted to come with us, and then she’d said no and walked away and refused to talk to me before I could explain that Heather and I were just coming as friends.

  Shit. Heather was right. That was a dick move, and I owed Darla the world’s biggest apology. Like, a bigger one than I could actually give her, because the kind of apology she deserved involved stuff like flowers and chocolate, but then she’d have to figure out how to explain to her dad where it came from.

  “I never had a chance to tell her,” I explained. I could at least smooth things over with our friends right now, because I had a feeling I’d be spending the rest of the night making this up to Darla. “I was an idiot, and I didn’t lead with the part where you and I were just coming as friends, Heather. I guess I didn’t think I had to tell her, because I figured she knew I wouldn’t offer her a ride here if I was coming with you as a date.”

  “Oh, my God,” Naomi gasped. “She said your mom told her that you guys were coming here together when she came into the kids’ room to drop Nate off. Before you came in. She thought it was a date before you said a word to her.”

  God damn it all to Hell. I was going to kill my mother. Okay, not literally, but she was definitely staying on my shit list. Apparently, she didn’t think telling me to stay away from Darla was working well enough, so instead, she’d tried to break Darla’s heart to make her stay away from me.