by Olivia Rose
"Thanks, Coach. I've really got to go now, otherwise I'm going to be late."
She opens her drawer and pulls out a pad of paper.
"Here's a tardy slip. Give it to your next teacher, and you'll be fine."
"Thanks, but I'd rather not draw any more attention."
"Understood. See you soon, Erin."
"Later, Coach," I call out behind me before shutting the door. The halls are bustling with everyone getting on with their day, and not one person even notices me. I make my way through the sea of people to my locker. I rest my forehead on it for a second, taking a deep breath before opening it. I take note, and everything that's meant to be here is. Then I pull out my backpack, and a ton of stuff falls to the floor. Awesome.
I kneel down and stuff it back in my bag, noticing folded pieces of paper amongst the mess. The bell rings, so for now, I shove it all in my bag before hightailing it to class. Late is not my style.
I slip behind my desk seconds before Mrs. White strolls in, her head in a book. A math book, oh the intrigue. She potters about at the front of the room before starting to write on the whiteboard. I unpack my bag, and the pieces of paper come out with my books. I look at them, trying not to draw attention to myself.
Loser, you need to leave Mason alone. You don't want him to die, too, do you?
If you know what's good for you, you'll leave Mason alone.
Leave him alone freak!
Or else.
Surely they aren't tormenting me this much just because of Mason? I shake my head; no, they've always been like this. He's just another excuse for them to try to make my life hell. I scrunch them up and slide them into my bag just as Mrs. White turns around.
"Senior year isn't all fun and games. You have the class to try to work out the equation on the board. In silence. Good luck," she announces before plopping down into her chair and sticking her head back in her book. If I didn't know better, I'd accuse her of reading that 'mommy porn' all of Monica's friends are obsessed with, or 'erotic romance' as Monica insists I call it. I snort-laugh, making everyone turn to look at me; the snickers echo around the room. I feel my blush heat my cheeks. Fuck my life. Just why?!
"MONICA, YOU HOME?" I call out as I drop my bag by the sofa in the living room.
"In the kitchen."
I slip off my chucks and pad into the kitchen, tugging down the sleeves of my sweater, ready to face the lecture I have no doubt is coming my way.
"How was the rest of your day?" She asks, a skeptical look on her face.
"It was okay. Nothing major, just a normal day." I jump onto the stool at the center island in the kitchen and watch as she finishes prepping the salad.
"About what happened today..."
"It was an escalation, I know. But the fact you came to the school and Coach was with us, I think might have made them back down. Like I say, nothing happened after you left." It's a small lie, but the chances are those notes were in my locker long before anyone saw her at the school.
"I still don't like this, Erin. I know you're almost an adult, but it is just almost. As your guardian, it's my responsibility to watch out for you. I know I'm not your mom. I've tried to be laid back about it all, but I'm at my limit. I can't watch you go through this and keep respecting your wishes of staying out of it. It's gotten to the point it can't be ignored; something needs to be done."
"I really wish you wouldn't. It's not going to change anything. If anything, it will just make it worse."
"You don't know that, and it's now at the point where your teachers are going to have to acknowledge something is happening. You shouldn't have to go through this, and I'm so, so sorry you are, that you have been. I've already made an appointment with Mr. Hardman; your coach will be with us. You don't have to be there, but I really hope you'll come. School is meant to be one of the greatest times of your life."
"I understand where you're coming from, Monica, I do. But I don't want to react to it; reacting to it will make it worse. These girls are nothing but stupid bitches who have peaked in high school. I have the rest of my life to look forward to. It might not be right, but I'm used to this, and I can get through the next few months. This is them reacting to thinking they're losing control; they know school is nearly done and then what? They have nothing but this small town and the people in it, but I've got more than that. I have the University of Austin; I have pre-med to look forward to. I'm going to be able to help people. So, I just need to get through this first. I won't ask you not to meet with Mr. Hardman. I get that you watching me live with this isn't easy, probably just as hard as letting them think it doesn't hurt me. But I won't be going with you. I don't want to make it official."
She sighs and wraps me up in a tight hug before kissing my forehead.
"Okay, sweetie. We'll keep playing it your way, but you have to tell me if it gets too much. Dr. Lacey is still available if you want to start up your therapy sessions again."
I groan at her. I saw Dr. Lacey when I was younger and had to deal with the fact I was abandoned. Dr. Lacey helped me a lot. She was nice, plus she always handed out candy.
"Fine, fine. Just know you have people to fall back on. Now, what are these plans you eluded to earlier?"
"Well, you know I told you about the new kid?"
"The one you're helping to tutor?"
"Yeah, him. Wellllll, he has tickets to see Jaded Hearts and he asked me if I wanted to go with him." I try to say this as calmly as I can, as if this isn't an epic thing.
"Hmmm... I don't know, Erin. I don't know this boy, and by the sounds of it, you don't really know him either," she says skeptically.
"He's super nice; he's not like the other kids around here. Plus, it's JADED HEARTS!!! Pleaseeeeeeee" I plead, and she laughs.
"Okay, okay. Do I get to at least meet this boy before your date?"
"It isn't a date!" I groan. "And, no."
"If it's not a date, I don't see the harm in me meeting the young man." She teases me, an evil glint in her eye.
"Oh my god, Monica. No, just no."
"Hmmm... well if you're going to be hanging out with him frequently, I'm sure I'll meet him soon enough."
"Does that mean I can go?" I ask excitedly.
"Yes, I suppose so."
"Thank you!" I squeal, jumping up and hugging her. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!!"
"Ha! If I'd known I was going to get that reaction, I'd have dragged it out longer," she says, sticking her tongue out at me.
"Now sit down and eat something," she adds, taking the lasagna from the oven and putting it on the counter in front of me. I jump down and grab two plates, before joining her at the counter. My phone pings in my pocket, and I'm desperate to look at it. I've not read anything since the episode before lunch and I know Mason has text me about tonight.
"Go on, read it. I can see you're itching to. Just this once, though. No cell phones with dinner," she says just before hers starts ringing and I laugh.
"Of course," she mutters, getting up to answer her phone as I read through my messages from Mason.
Mason: Hey, you okay? I heard some rumors flying about.
Mason: Erin? I heard Monica was at the school.
Mason: If I don't hear from you soon, I'm going to swing by.
Me: Now then, caveman, no need to swing that club about. I'm fine. I'll explain everything on the way to the gig.
Mason: Okay, awesome. Want me to pick you up?
Me: Believe me when I say this is for your own good, but, hell no!
Mason: I'll try not to be too offended LOL. See you at mine at six?
Me: Sure, shoot me your address and I'll be there.
I put my phone down and smile. It sounds so goddamn corny and I hate it, but I love the possibility that I have another friend. Don't get me wrong, I have Evan, but well, not really, and Scottie, but it's nice to have another. I wolf down the lasagna before waving to Monica and heading upstairs to get ready. The look on her face worried me. The phone call looked seriou
s, but if it's anything major, I know she'll tell me.
I strip off and jump in the shower before shimmying into my clothes for tonight. Jaded Hearts ripped tee? Check. Denim cut-offs? Check. Knee High chucks with bright blue lace? You're damn skippy! I blow my hair out but leave it down and straight, remembering to stick an elastic on my wrist along with the many bracelets. I have a glance in the mirror to check I don't look like a complete dork with my bright white legs out. I do, but I realize I'm too excited to care. I've never been to a gig before; it's real high on my bucket list. I go to the corkboard on my wall, where I've got a ton of pictures of different things I want to do before I'm too old to, and on there is a picture of Jaded Hearts, which I tore out from a magazine covering their night at Hyde Park in London. This might not be London, but I am already too excited. I practically bounce out of my room and down the stairs. Monica is sat on the sofa, looking solemn, but she sees me and seems to shake it off.
"Erin, you look amazing!"
"Flying the freak flag high," I giggle.
"Erin!" she scolds, "we don't use that word. Quirky, we like quirky." She winks at me.
"Yes, ma'am," I laugh back at her.
"Now then, you go and have some fun; you deserve it," she says after hugging me. "Though not too much fun, you hear?"
I laugh as I open the door and pop my earbuds in. "Love you too, Mon."
I head across town to the address Mason sent over. I'm listening to some JH to pump myself up. Like I need it. I see my surroundings almost like for the first time. I've never really thought about it before, but I guess I live on the 'money' side of Rocky Falls. We've never struggled for anything, material wise I mean. It's just not something I've paid attention to. I guess that makes me a little entitled? Or naïve maybe? I contemplate this as I walk the miles to Mason's. I spot his car first; a black, shiny monster parked on the driveway of a small bungalow. It looks a little worn, but it also looks loved. The front gardens are tended to perfection, and other than the cracks in the paint, there's nothing wrong with it. It stands out on its street. The houses around it look tired, and some are more than a little unloved. I open the gate and walk up the drive to the wraparound porch. The door opens before I reach it.
"Mason, your girlfriend's here," a young boy yells, before running into the front yard, followed by three others, all in football jerseys.
"You must be Parker," I say to him with a smile.
"That's me. Mason's inside with Grams."
"Nice to meet you, Parker."
"Thanks, I'm going to go now."
"Parker Knight, you watch your damn manners." I turn and see who I assume is their grams, hollering from the front door.
"Sorry, Grams," he grumbles. "Nice to meet you too, Erin," he says, before running off to join his friends.
"Come on in, dear. Mason's just sorting out the sink for me. Damn thing has a mind of its own."
"Thank you, Mrs. Knight."
"None of that now. Mrs. Knight is my mother-in-law. You call me Grams, everyone else does."
"Grams, give the poor girl a break; she's hardly in the door. Hey, Erin," Mason says, as he hugs his grams and kisses her cheek. He's in sweats and topless, and damn hot. The tattoo I'd seen peeking out of his t-shirt at school before, and that one time when he stripped off to save me from my slushie humiliation, is on full show, and what a work of art it is. A phoenix, rising from the ashes and fire, wings stretched out. My cheeks blush as I realize I'm staring—with a slack jaw. God, this is embarrassing. I look to the floor.
"Boy, go put some clothes on!" Grams swats at him. "You should shower too, you sweaty ape."
"Yes, Grams!" He shouts out as he heads off down the hall. "I won't be long, Erin."
"Would you like a drink, dear?"
"Yes please." I feel a little awkward, but there's something about Grams that makes you feel at home.
"Come on in, I won't bite," she says, ushering me into the kitchen with her. "You just take a seat; Mason won't keep you waiting long. He's a good boy, really."
"Thank you."
"So, you're tutoring my Mason, too? He said that's how you became friends."
"I guess so," I laugh. "But yes, I am tutoring him."
"You do well in school? You have many plans for after?"
"You could say that. I'm working toward starting my pre-med at UT next fall."
"Ah, so my Mason is in good hands. Do you have many friends, girl?"
"Erm, I tend to keep to myself. Well, until Mason, obviously."
"He badgered you until you gave in, didn't he?" She belts out a laugh.
"Something like that," I laugh quietly.
"That boy, he's just like my Enzo, rest his soul. Stubborn as a bull, but once he saw what he wanted, he'd persist until he got his way. That's how I ended up married to him—best decision I ever made," she tells me, handing me a glass of sweet tea. "But you don't let him talk you into anything crazy. You just do you, you hear me girl? You're far too pretty to let anyone tell you what to do. Smart too. You're a good girl, I can tell," she rambles.
Ten minutes later Mason swaggers into the room. "You talking crazy again, Grams?" He's just wearing jeans and a white tee, but it's tight enough for his arms to strain against it as he grips the door to the fridge and bends over to grab himself a drink.
"Don't you sass me, boy. You'll never be too big to go over my knee."
"Aww, come on, Grams, you know you love me too much for that. Plus, you love my sass," he winks at her and kisses her on the cheek. It's sweet to see him like this with her. I know he can tease, he's like it with me, but he shuts himself off from most people from what I've seen.
"You ready?" He asks me.
"Sure," I smile and stand. "Thank you for the tea, Grams."
"You're welcome, dear. Mason, she's a good girl; you don't screw this up, you hear?"
"Grams," he groans.
"We're just friends, Grams. I could use a few good ones," I smile at her.
"Ummm-hmmm."
"See you later, Grams," he says, placing his hand on the small of my back and ushering us out of the house to his car.
"Sorry about Grams; she can be a bit full on," he apologizes as he opens the car door for me.
"Don't be. She seems great."
"She's a crazy old bat, but I wouldn't change her for the world," he laughs, before closing the door and strolling around to get in. "I set us up a playlist. Jaded's best hits. That cool with you?"
"Hell yes! I'm so excited, so I'm just going to say sorry now. I've never been to a gig before, or done, well, much of anything, so thank you." I trip over the words as they fall out of my mouth.
"Well, time to pop that cherry then! Here's to firsts."
HOLY SHIT, THIS IS amazing! I've never been so tightly packed in between people before. I feel like a sardine, and it's incredible! To be in a room full of people, all there for the same reason, feeling the same things you are. The magic is indescribable. I've never felt so on fire; screaming lyrics at the top of my voice and losing myself in the music. It's something new, and I never want to not feel this way again.
"You can't control what they say,
you can't control what they do.
Just be who you are,
this time you might break through.
They might not back down,
but you know that they can't break you.
Just be who you are, just be who you are!!"
The lyrics wash through me, and though I've heard them a thousand times, this time it's different; like they settle inside a piece of my soul, giving me a strength to pull from.
We sing and dance, bounce and thrash the night away, and before I know it, the encore is done, and the lights are up. We walk, wordlessly with the crowd, out of the stadium and back to the car.
"Thank you so much for tonight, Mason. It was incredible."
"Thank you for coming with me. It wouldn't have been the same on my own. It was fun being your first gig buddy, too. I forgot how much
fun they can be when you get lost in it all."
He stands so close in front of me it's like I can breathe him in. The wind picks up and my skin pimples, but I barely feel the cold with the heat coming from him.
"Erin..." he murmurs my name as he looks down at me, and my head swims as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me in line with him, my curves fitting somehow along his hard edges. Feeling brave, I put my arms around him and rest my head on his chest. He feels safe, which considering I've not known him long, is weird, but I've learned not to question these things in life. Good people don't pop up every day. I can hear his heartbeat thudding in his chest. One arm moves from behind my back and strokes my hair. Goose bumps tickle my skin. I look up at him, our eyes meeting for a split second, and then his lips touch mine, and I sigh into him. Holy crap, Mason Knight is kissing me! I find myself reacting to him, my hands running through his hair, pulling him closer to me. I've never felt like this before. Ever. His hands move down and grip my waist, pulling me even closer to him, and I can't help the pleasurable groan that escapes me. He slows the kiss, and I pull back, my lips swollen.
"We should get back, huh? Do you want me to drive?" I ask, taking a step back and putting my hand on his chest. The distance helps clear the fog in my head. He puts his hand over the one I have on his chest, the other on my hip.
"I don't mean to be so hot and cold, I'm not that girl... it's just... I put myself out there once before and got burned. Look, I don't want to rush anything again. I'm sorry." I sigh, knowing I've probably just ruined everything.
"You have nothing to be sorry about, Erin. I don't want to rush this either; you're special. I might not have known you long, but know I'm not going anywhere." He leans down and kisses me lightly on the lips. I close my eyes as his lips touch mine, so soft, and yet, demanding. He pulls back, his hands still on me. "Let's get you home."
HE PULLS UP IN FRONT of my house and I stretch out in the hoodie he gave me when I started to get cold on our drive.
