Love Was Not an Option

by Edward Kendrick

  * * * *

  Nick and Greg began spending more time together beyond their normal Sundays. Not every night, but once or twice during the week they’d run and then go out to dinner before going home together. Nick was well aware that Greg wasn’t happy about the fact that they didn’t wake up together the following morning. Thankfully, he didn’t push the issue, although there was always a wistful tone in his voice when he said ‘Sleep well’ before he, or Nick, left.

  Would it really matter if I’d stayed the night? Nick wondered as he drove home from their most recent evening together. We’re obviously in something close to a committed relationship, my original wishes to the contrary. The thing is, if I did, would he expect more from me? Could I refuse him, if he did? I think, God help me, I’m falling in love with him. How the hell did that happen?

  He knew he had to talk about his feelings with someone who would understand—and that wasn’t Kasper. As soon as he got home he made a call.

  “Mom, it’s me. Did I wake you?”

  His mother laughed. “You know you didn’t.”

  “I do. I, um…Are you and Dad busy tomorrow night?” He figured that was safe, since he and Greg hadn’t made any plans for the following evening.

  “We’re never are, when it comes to seeing you. You should know that, even though you rarely bother to stop by.”

  “Mea culpa.”

  “Don’t feel bad. We know you’re busy.” She paused, then asked with a smile in her voice, “Is there something personal you want to talk about?”

  “Yes.”

  “But you won’t tell me until tomorrow night.”

  “No.”

  “Niko…All right. What time?”

  “Say nine, your time?” He put it that way because his parents owned a small estate on a private lake, close to the Hudson River and about an hour’s drive from New York City.

  “We’ll see you then.”

  * * * *

  “Étienne, he’s here,” Jelena, Niko’s mother, called out as soon as she opened the door to let him in. That was followed by a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek before she took Niko’s hand to lead him out to the patio behind the house.

  “He lives,” Étienne said with a grin when he joined them. He set down a tray with glasses of wine on the table, before giving Niko a hug. “If you’d like something stronger…” He gestured to the tray. “Or weaker.”

  “No, this is fine,” Niko told him, picking up two of the glasses, handing one to his mother before sitting down.

  “Okay, fill us in on what’s happening in your life,” Étienne said, winking at his wife. “News from you is few and far between.”

  “The usual. The firm is doing well. I’m still working with Kasper and Darwin.” When they asked, he told them about the last couple of jobs he’d done for Kasper.

  When he finished, Jelena took a sip of her wine before saying, “Now tell us what’s really going on in your life.”

  Niko hedged. “I have a new employee. The first one in a while.”

  “Uh-huh. Human, I presume,” Étienne said.

  “Yes.”

  “And?”

  “Well, we’re in a relationship. I didn’t plan on it. It was supposed to be occasional sex and nothing more, which was fine. We actually met while I was out running, before he answered my ad for a new designer. We…hit it off, I guess.”

  Jelena chuckled. “I would hope so, if you’re sleeping together. So what’s the problem?”

  “He’s human, Mom. And, damn it, I think I’ve fallen in love with him.”

  “Does he feel the same?”

  “I don’t know. I think so, but he’s never said he does.”

  “Because you haven’t told him how you feel,” she replied with a trace of amusement. “I know you. You’re very good at hiding your feelings.”

  “I have to.” He sighed. “It wouldn’t work. You know that.”

  Étienne put his arm around his wife’s shoulders. “Everyone said my loving your mother wouldn’t work, but it has. You’re living proof of that.”

  “Yeah, but you’re both supernatural. You didn’t have to keep that part of your lives a secret from each other,” Niko protested. When his mother frowned, he said, “You do realize my jobs for Kasper involve my dealing with humans who’ve found out supernatural beings exist.”

  “I’m well aware of that,” Jelena replied. “However…” She nodded. “The story you told us about the vampire and her human lover. It got you thinking, didn’t it?”

  “It did. If I tell him—”

  Étienne interrupted to ask, “Does he have a name?”

  “Greg. If I tell Greg what I am and he doesn’t believe me, he’ll think I’m crazy. If he does believe, he could run as fast and as far away as he can. Then Kasper will send someone after him. You know what that means. They’ll either make him forget about me and his job and, well, everything. Or, they’ll decide he needs to be eliminated before he tells anyone else.”

  “True,” Étienne agreed. “There’s a third possible outcome. If he loves you, he might be able to take it in stride.”

  “Isn’t it worth finding out if he can?” Jelena asked. “That is, if what you’re feeling is love and not just wishful thinking. Or imagination because you’re lonely and want someone in your life.” She took Niko’s hand. “This is the first time, at least as far as I’m aware of, that you’ve met a man who is special to you. I’ll admit, it’s too bad he’s human, but you can’t help where your heart takes you.” She smiled at Étienne.

  “I know, I know,” Niko replied, staring into his glass of wine, seeing Greg’s face, instead. “I’m…I’m afraid of losing him. At first, I didn’t care. The sex was good, no, great, and we became friends, but that was it. Then, somehow, it became more for both of us.”

  “In my opinion, and I might be wrong—” Étienne glanced at his wife, “—you have to start by telling Greg how you feel. If you’re certain you love him, let him know. What have you got to lose?”

  “Him, one way or another,” Niko said harshly.

  “I said, tell him you love him,” Étienne replied. “Don’t go for the big reveal until you find out if he loves you, too. Even then, wait for at least a little while, until you’ve cemented your relationship. Then, when you have, you can sit him down and have the talk—” Étienne made finger quotes, “—with him.”

  “Listen to your father,” Jelena said. “He’s a wise man, most of the time.”

  “Most of the time?” Étienne scowled.

  “Okay, all of the time, except—”

  Niko laughed when Étienne shut her up with a firm kiss. If Greg does love me, even half as much as they love each other, perhaps we stand a chance of making things work.

  He stayed for another hour, while his parents filled him in on their active lives and he told them in more detail what was going on with his company. As he got ready to leave, his mother hugged him, saying, “If you love him, and he loves you, anything is possible.”

  “I hope so.”

  “Believe,” Étienne said, hugging him, too.

  “I’m trying to.”

  * * * *

  The first step to what Nick prayed would be his new life with Greg was to tell him exactly how he felt about him. Damn it, I’ve lived for over three-hundred years. How hard can it be to admit I love him? Very hard, he decided since he’d never said that to anyone before other than his parents. The feeling was strange to him. He’d cared about some of his lovers—the very few he’d allowed himself to get close to—but they’d been supernaturals. Even they were leery of me, because of my mixed heritage. He decided to bite the bullet on Sunday. No putting it off or I’ll never do it.

  The day was sunny but cool, presaging the advent of autumn. Nick put on running pants and a T-shirt before heading to the park to meet Greg. When he got there, he wasn’t at all surprised to find him waiting, doing warm-up exercises before their run. Nick joined him, taking time to do the same although in his case i
t wasn’t really necessary. They started out by jogging, which quickly turned into full-out racing. Nick held back as he always did. To go at the speed he was capable of would definitely raise more than a few eyebrows. Or scare the shit out of the other people on the path, including Greg.

  They made it twice around the lake before Greg began to flag.

  “Being lazy?” Nick teased, slowing down to keep pace with him.

  “Feeling my age,” Greg countered with a laugh.

  “All twenty-seven years? If that’s the case, I hate to think how slow you’ll go when you’re forty.”

  “I’ll still be able to keep up with you, old man.”

  Nick huffed. “I’m thirty-two and not counting.”

  “Positively ancient.” Greg hugged him. “I’m teasing, you know. You don’t look any older than I do.”

  “Good genes.” And a very strange heritage. Nick shoved that thought back where it belonged—for now. First he had to find out if Greg cared for him as much as he cared for his lover. If he did, Nick fully intended to spend time letting their relationship mature into full-blown love with all it entailed before revealing his deep, and very dark, secret.

  “Where are we eating tonight?” Greg asked when they’d slowed to a walk.

  “There’s a good restaurant we haven’t been to, yet,” Nick replied. “We have to be sort of dressy though, like slacks and a nice shirt.”

  “And a tie?” Greg asked, grimacing.

  “Nope. It’s not that classy.” He told Greg where it was and they agreed to meet there in an hour.

  Nick was waiting when Greg came strolling down the street after leaving his car in the restaurant’s lot. His breath hitched as he watched him approach, which was stupid, he thought. I just saw him, less than an hour ago. Still, he couldn’t help the wave of desire that ran through him. Desire which had nothing to do with sex and everything to with wanting Greg in his life on a permanent basis.

  “You clean up well,” Greg said, grinning as he hugged Nick.

  “Uh-huh. You see me like this five days a week,” Nick replied, returning the hug before opening the restaurant door so they could go inside.

  As Nick had reserved a table, they were seated immediately. When the waitress asked if they wanted to start with something to drink, Nick suggested they have a glass of wine. “If you like wine, that is,” he said to Greg. They’d had beer a few times when dining out, but that was the extent of it.

  “I do, occasionally, if it’s dry,” Greg replied, so Nick ordered a merlot. When Greg asked, he made a couple of suggestions about which menu items were the best. The waitress returned with their wine, at which point they ordered—Scottish salmon for Greg and a New York strip steak for Nick.

  Their meals were excellent, the conversation as they ate their usual mix of topics, from what was going on in the world, to which new movies looked good—“Although we’ve yet to go to one,” Greg commented wryly—and other general subjects.

  When they left the restaurant, Nick suggested they go back to his place, which brought a smile of anticipation to Greg’s lips. “Wine me, dine me, screw me. The perfect Sunday evening.”

  Nick grinned. “It does have a certain appeal.”

  They arrived at the house at almost the same moment. As soon as they were inside, Nick took Greg in his arms and did something he’d never done with him before. He kissed him. When Greg stiffened, Nick was certain he’d blown it. Greg was quick to prove him wrong, enthusiastically returning the kiss.

  When it and the one which followed, ended, Greg said breathlessly, “I didn’t think…I never thought…I was sure this wouldn’t ever…”

  “Slow down,” Nick told him, chuckling. “One word, one thought at a time.”

  Greg did. “I honestly never believed you’d kiss me. I don’t know why, but I didn’t.”

  “It takes me time to reach that level of, well, trust I suppose.”

  “How many…?” Greg shook his head. “It’s none of my business. I’m just happy you’ve gotten to that point with me.”

  Nick put his arm around Greg’s waist, turning him toward the stairway. “I might even do it again, later,” he teased.

  “Be still my heart.” Greg twisted out of his semi-embrace, making a dash for the stairs. “Last one up…”

  “Does what?” Nick asked, going after him.

  “I don’t know. I’ll think of something.” Greg beat him into the bedroom by a hair then began stripping.

  Nick watched, admiring his lean, muscular body, as he had many times before.

  “Are you planning on standing there all night,” Greg asked while he started to unbutton Nick’s shirt.

  Nick grinned. “Maybe?”

  “Brat,” Greg muttered as he continued to undress him as he walked him toward the bed.

  “I’m older than you, so that doesn’t work.”

  “I call it as I see it.”

  When Nick’s slacks and briefs landed around his ankles, Greg gave a gentle shove. Nick fell back on the bed, and Greg finished the job by removing the slacks after taking off Nick’s shoes and socks. Then he stood there, looking down at him. “The perfect position for what I want to do,” he said, getting a condom from the nightstand. He sheathed Nick’s cock, dropping to his knees to take it into his mouth when Nick spread his legs.

  Nick closed his eyes, savoring the sensations Greg elicited with his talented mouth and tongue. When they became almost overwhelming, he eased away. “Now, it’s my turn.”

  Greg sprawled on the bed, Nick sheathed his cock, and then set to work to bring him to the edge, but no further. Sitting back on his heels, he gazed at his lover. “I want to watch you while I screw you,” he said, smiling when Greg instantly understood what he meant and pulled his legs up, even though it was a way of making love they’d never tried before.

  Getting the lube, Nick spread some over his cock, and two fingers—which he eased into Greg, stroking his gland with one. Greg’s moaned deeply, his face flushed with desire. “Fuck me,” he whispered.

  “That was the plan,” Nick replied, removing his fingers, replacing them slowly with his cock. He locked eyes with Greg’s as he pushed in deeper, watching his expressions as they went from pleasure to something close to rapture. Nick knew his own expressions mirrored Greg’s as he worked to bring them to the heights of ecstasy—and succeeded as they came almost simultaneously with shouts of release that echoed through the room.

  When they recovered, Nick rolled off Greg, wrapping him in his arms. “Stay the night,” he said softly.

  Greg looked at him with a mix of shock and delight. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes.” He cupped Greg’s jaw with one hand, kissing him—a kiss Greg returned wholeheartedly. “If you want to know why the sudden change…” Nick said when they broke apart. He took a deep breath, gazing at Greg. “I think, no, I know I’ve fallen in love with you.”

  Greg was silent for so long, staring seriously at him, that Nick was afraid he was trying to decide how to tell him that his love wouldn’t be returned. Then Greg smiled slowly. “I’ve wanted to tell you how much I love you, but I thought…I was sure if I did it would be the end of our relationship.”

  Nick sighed with relief. “Instead, it’s the beginning.” They kissed again. “I mean, well…” Nick felt tongue-tied.”

  Greg smiled, tracing one finger over Nick’s lips. “Moving forward from friends who are very good in bed together, to two men in love—who happen to be very good in bed as well.”

  Nick laughed. “I think that about covers it.” He sobered, asking, “Are you sure?”

  “That I love you? You better believe it.” Greg looked dead at him. “Are you?”

  “Oh, yes. So, will you stay the night?”

  “I don’t think you could make me leave,” Greg replied with a happy grin.

  Chapter 9

  “I need you,” Darwin said when Nick answered the phone Thursday evening.

  This was the second time—in the mon
th since he and Greg had moved from friends to two men in love—that Darwin had brought him in on a job. The first time, Nick had called Greg to tell him he had a business dinner with a potential new client. “I think she’s more interested in me, the man, than in the firm,” he’d grumbled.

  “Good luck with that,” Greg had replied. “But just in case…” He’d described, in minute detail, what he would do with Nick the following evening when they were in bed, ending by saying, “Keep that in mind when she’s coming on to you.”

  Nick had laughed. “I will. It’s a damned good thing I’ve got an hour before I have to meet her. I might be presentable by then.”

  “Aww, did I get you all hot and bothered?”

  “You know you did, brat. I love you, in spite of that. I’ll see you tomorrow.” A promise he was able to keep since the job from Darwin was easily solved.

  Now, rubbing the bridge of his nose between two fingers, Nick sighed. “When?”

  “As soon as you can get here,” Darwin replied. “I sent you an email. I gather you haven’t seen it.”

  “Not yet.” Nick went to look, thankful he and Greg hadn’t planned on doing anything together that night. He read through it, his phone still plastered to his ear. “Okay. That told me nothing, but I guess I shouldn’t have expected it to. I’ll see you in five.”

  Nick hung up, checked to make certain he had his keys and wallet, and landed in Darwin’s living room a minute earlier than he’d said he would.

  “Details, please.”

  “Good evening to you, too, Niko,” Darwin replied with a dry look. “Your target is a human who believes he has a mission to destroy all vampires. Everyone considers him crazy, of course, and they ignore all his rants that ‘they are out there.’ He even carries a stake, in case he needs it. Anyway, yesterday, he found one. A Fledgling who attacked a young homeless female in an alley.” He smiled sourly. “Clichéd, I know, but he did. The man saw what was happening and staked the Fledgling—unfortunately not before the girl died. The police put her death down to malnutrition compounded by drug use. They explained that the bite marks on her throat were the result of rats that infest the alley. Easily done since at least one rat had already set to work on her before the police arrived.”