Steamy: A Romance Anthology That Sizzles

by Johnson, Cat

  “You enjoyed kissing her?”

  She nodded.

  “And instead of talking to her about it, you kissed her and… what? Flew to Alabama to get the hell away from her?”

  She nodded again.

  “She has no idea about any of this?”

  She shook her head and rolled her lips between her teeth. “No. She cried when Ethan broke up with her, swore off men forever, got up the next morning and hit the gym like nothing had happened.”

  “All the while, this huge thing is sitting on your chest and suffocating you. Dang. I’ll never quite understand why people think fleeing a situation like this is the right answer.” He sighed, stood tall and wiped the bar down, meeting her gaze.

  ‘Cause it’s scary AF Mitch, isn’t that enough?

  “She knows what it’s like to come out to people, Ana, and if she’s been your best friend for a while, you know her. You know she won’t want to upset you and you know she’ll probably be kinda hurt you’ve hidden it from her for however long you have, she’ll want to support you. Go home, talk to her, tell her how you feel. I can assure you you’ll feel better for having said the words out loud to someone who cares about you. Let them see who you really are, they’ll love you all the same, and if for some reason they don’t, come back to ‘Bama and my hubby and I will take care of you.”

  He handed her a business card. She wiped her tear-filled eyes with the back of her hand. “You’re sweet, but you can’t possibly mean that. We just met!”

  “Ana, I absolutely do mean it. I came out to an unsupportive family. I lived it. I wouldn’t ever want someone to go through what I went through and I know people do every damn day. If your family, for whatever reason, don’t take it well, you come here. You’re not alone. We gotchu, okay?”

  Her lip trembled as tears trickled down her cheeks. “Thank you,” she managed. “I’m pretty sure I’m being irrational. They’ll be fine. I know they’ll all be fine, I just…”

  “I know, kiddo. It’s scary as shit. But you can’t hide this part of yourself from the world forever, it’s exhausting and will wear you down until you can’t recognize yourself. You’re not broken, you don’t need fixing. You are perfect just the way you are.”

  Ana chatted to Mitch and finished her drink. She left the bar with Mitch’s words reverberating ‘round her mind, resolved to go home and tell at least one person in her life who she really was.

  5

  Ana: You awake?

  Ky: What’s wrong?

  Ana: Can I come in for a sec?

  Ky: Mi cama es tu cama, amiga. You know that.

  Taking a steadying breath, Ana tip-toed across the hall and opened Ky’s door with a shaky hand. It was the middle of the night, but she couldn’t sleep. She’d been back in Michigan for a week, her resolve had wavered the moment she’d landed and she hadn’t yet made time to confess her secret. It was eating her alive. The longer she stayed quiet, the heavier it felt.

  Cadhla held the blanket back for Ana to climb into bed next to her. They lay in the dark, facing each other, knees touching. Ana slid one arm under the pillow, clutching it to her head and rested her other hand on her stomach, feeling oddly uncomfortable and hyperaware of every inch of her body.

  “What gives?”

  “I need to tell you something.”

  “Is this a light on and over tequila in the kitchen kinda something?”

  Yes.

  “No, I’d rather you didn’t see my face right now.”

  In hindsight, I probably shoulda just texted it to you from across the hall.

  “Shit. What’s wrong, Ana?”

  Ana swallowed down the lump in her throat, reminding herself how badly she needed to do this. Fighting tears, she struggled to steady herself.

  “I—” Her voice caught and her heart pounded.

  “What is it, Anabanana?” Ky asked, tenderly, reaching out in the dark to stroke her face.

  Closing her eyes, she leaned into the warm hand cupping her face and tried again. “I have feelings for you, Cadhla.”

  Panic flooded her veins. The words were out and couldn’t be taken back. Neither of them could run. Ana almost regretted not turning the light on so she could see Ky’s reaction.

  After a beat her friend replied. “Is this what’s been bothering you lately?”

  Breathe.

  Ana nodded, forgetting it was dark.

  “Yeah. I… I dunno, Ky. At first, well, I didn’t really understand what I was feeling, then I was kinda terrified of what I was feeling and then there was never really a right time to tell you how I was feeling. I don’t expect for you to… I… I just…” She felt Cadhla’s finger cover her lips and heard her soothing ‘shhh’. “I just needed you to know that I think I like girls, too.” Ana finished, mumbling behind the finger.

  “Can you take a breath please?” Ky asked softly, while her thumb stroked the length of Ana’s jaw.

  Breathe.

  “I’m not sure I can. Can you say something, please? You don’t seem nearly as surprised as I expected you to be, but I guess we are in the dark and I can’t see your face.”

  “Shhhhh,” Ky repeated. “I guess I had my suspicions you liked girls, but I didn’t really think you were attracted to me. Not until we kissed in the bar. When you hauled ass to Alabama, I figured you were spooked. But it’s not really something I could have forced out of you, Ana. You’re ready when you’re ready.”

  Ana pulled her lip between her teeth and silently encouraged her heart to slow down and shut up.

  “Are you ready, Ana?”

  Ready for what? Y’know, I don’t think it matters, I’m pretty sure I’m not ready for any of it.

  Ana shoved all thoughts beyond the moment out of her head. She wanted this, probably for longer than she even realized, so she wrestled the ‘what if this is a huge mistake and ruins everything?’ demon back in its cage and nodded again into the darkness before Ky’s lips landed on hers. Their kiss started out soft and tender.

  For a moment Ana thought perhaps she’d fallen asleep and was making out with dream-Cadhla, kissing as though it wasn’t new, or at all out of the ordinary, rather something they’d done every day for as long as they’d known each other. She wasn’t sure how long they’d been kissing, but when Ky moved her hand from Ana’s face and slowly dragged it down her body, Ana felt ready for whatever else was about to happen between them.

  Ana moaned as Ky’s fingers trailed down the spaghetti strap of her pyjama tank, over the curve of her breast and along the outside of her hip. Despite her nerves, Ana wanted more. With a racing heart, she allowed her legs to part as Ky gently pressed against her knee, requesting access between her thighs.

  “So wet, Ana,” Ky murmured against Ana’s neck as her fingers stroked along the outside of her shorts. “Are you sure about this?” she asked, breathless, dotting a line of kisses along the arc of her neck.

  “Y—yes. I’m sure,” she answered, panting, fingers entwined in Ky’s hair as she raised her hips to meet her. Ana gasped and held her breath as Cadhla moved around the fabric of her shorts and slowly slipped two fingers deep inside of her.

  I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.

  6

  Ana came with a shuddering scream as sunlight fought its way into the room around the edges of the curtains. “Fuck! Ky! Ky! Shhhh! I… shit… Goddamnit, Ky! Too sensitive… shhhhh!”

  “I didn’t say anything,” Ky answered with a giggle, pressing her fingers against Ana’s g-spot and placing a soft kiss on her clit before kissing her way up Ana’s body.

  “I t—think you broke me…” Ana managed, smiling as Cadhla rested her head on her shoulder and draped an arm across her waist. “I’ve never... so hard… words… not working.”

  Cadhla nuzzled against Ana’s neck. “Maybe I didn’t break you, Anabanana, maybe I fixed you?”

  Ana’s muscles twitched, her face was flushed and her pulse still raced. The AC kicked on and cool air met sweat-s
ticky skin.

  “Oh god,” Ana groaned, shifting her weight causing a squelch. “I’m all messy.”

  And totally embarrassed right now. I’ve never been this freakin’ messy before. Oh god, it’s cold, and drippy, it’s… shit, it’s trickling.

  “If you’re not messy, you’re not doing it right, Ana. Get out of your head. You’re beautiful, and I enjoyed every bit of what we did together last night.”

  “And this morning?” Ana asked, quietly seeking validation that she wasn’t terrible in bed.

  Jeez, Ana, you’re so freakin’ needy!

  “Yes, and this morning.”

  Ana let out a breath and stroked Ky’s shoulder.

  “I think it’s kinda cute you think I’m that good an actress. I’m not in the habit of faking orgasms, Ana. That does nothing for either of us. I mean, some days I might take a while to get there, but I’ll never fake it.”

  “Hey!” Ana shoved her friend gently. “Don’t be a dick when I’m all vulnerable and self-conscious.”

  Cadhla lifted her head and kissed her gently. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Honestly, it didn’t feel like it was your first time with a girl. You have very skilled fingers, a very talented tongue, and I definitely want to do it all over again—and more.”

  Oh, thank God!

  Ana relaxed into the mattress with every word.

  “I thought…”

  “I know what you thought.”

  “You do?”

  “Mmhmm,” she answered, trailing her fingers along Ana’s bare skin. “You thought I’d wake up this morning and be over it, over you. Or that I’d regret it. Or things would be awkward as shit, right?”

  “Yeah, I totally did.”

  “This isn’t a once-and-done thing for me, Ana. I had a crush on you when we first met, but you were straight, so I shelved it. Trying to convince straight girls they aren’t straight isn’t my jam, neither is pining for a straight chick.”

  “And now?” Ana chewed nervously on her lip, picking at non-existent lint on the sheet next to her.

  “And now, I feel like pancakes and bacon,” she answered with a grin, nipping Ana’s neck with her teeth. “Can’t a girl want her girlfriend’s pancakes?”

  “Is that a euphemism?”

  “For what? Boobs? Honey, there is literally no definition on the planet where your boobs can be compared to pancakes.” Ky squeezed gently, as though to make a point, and slowly dragged her tongue across the hardening nipple. “See?” She blew gently, clearly enjoying the guttural moan rumbling in Ana’s chest. “Not at all like a pancake.”

  “If you keep doing that fluttery thing with your tongue, we won’t get near the kitchen, we’ll starve to death. Not to mention, my clit definitely needs a quick time out.” She paused. “You said girlfriend,” she added quietly.

  “I did,” she nodded against Ana’s chest.

  “Is this your way of asking me to go steady?” Ana bit back a smile, rolling her lips between her teeth.

  “I don’t normally do most of what we did with just anyone, you know.” Her head tilted back, and she kissed Ana lightly. “I was kind of hoping it wasn’t a once-and-done thing for you either…”

  Sliding her hand behind Cadhla’s head, she pulled her in for a kiss. “It wasn’t,” she rasped between kisses, her hand roaming over every inch of Ky’s naked skin.

  “I thought you wanted a time out.”

  “Your clit doesn’t need a time out!”

  * * *

  Ana was anxious as she ate brunch at the table with Cadhla, stealing glances between syrupy bites of pancake. Something monumental had shifted between them, and Ana was quietly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Part of her expected Cadhla to suddenly snap out of whatever sex-haze they’d been in for the last nine hours and declare it all a big mistake. At the same time, it felt as though a piece of their relationship had finally clicked securely into place. They were both happy, buoyant even. They’d burned the first pancake and set off the alarm, distracted by kissing each other and exploring each other’s bodies against the kitchen counter.

  Ana felt freer and lighter for having confessed her feelings and she felt comforted by the fact Ky hadn’t hesitated to move their relationship beyond being friends. It surprised her how quickly things felt easy between them. She had expected awkwardness, at least from herself, a lack of know-how, or at the very least, some first-time stumbles. The reality was that everything that had happened since Ana tip-toed across the hall to bare her soul to Ky, felt as natural as breathing. It was instinctive, as though a dormant part of her was now awakened without stuttering, or missing a beat.

  “I can almost hear your mind running away with itself from here,” Cadhla’s voice pulled Ana back into the moment. She licked a stray drop of syrup off her bottom lip and smiled.

  “Sorry. I just… I—” She sighed and took a drink of her orange juice.

  “It’s okay.” Ky reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “It’s new and scary, I get it. You’re freaking out.”

  “Kind of,” Ana lifted Cadhla’s hand and kissed her knuckles. “I’m not freaking out that it’s happening, I’m freaking out that it might not happen. I’m just waiting for you to realize this isn’t what you actually want. I’m freaking out that I might have ruined our friendship by opening my big mouth.”

  “Ana,” Ky sighed, pinching Ana’s chin between her finger and thumb. “Look at me.”

  Ana didn’t shift her gaze.

  “Ana Williams, look at me, please. Thank you. I’m not running away. This wasn’t some knee-jerk pity fuck for the newly discovered bi girl. I like you. I’ve loved you as my best friend from almost the moment we met. I get that you’re feeling unsure, I’m just out of yet another relationship and I’m not exactly known for my commitment skills, but I want to try.” She kissed Ana’s nose. “For you, for us, I’m in. My dating apps have been deleted, my between-relationship-fuckbuddy has been fired, both feet.”

  “When did you… How did you have time to do that?” Ana’s mind was struggling to catch up to her heart.

  “It doesn’t take long to shoot off a text or delete an app, Ana. I’m in. I’ll tell you as often as you need to hear it, but I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

  Ana nodded as the doorbell chimed.

  Who the heck is calling before noon on a Sunday?

  “Except, I’m going somewhere. But only to answer the door, then I’m coming right back, okay?”

  Ana nodded again and smiled, watching Cadhla shake her butt as she walked to answer the door. She giggled.

  This is totally okay. Nothing is broken. Everything is fine. I’m in a relationship with my best friend—something most people would kill for, right?

  Right.

  As she stood to collect the empty dishes, she heard a man’s voice. Shuffling as close to the door as she could without making a sound, she strained to hear the muffled voices across the hall. Cadhla had stepped outside the door and half-closed it behind her.

  Ethan.

  Ana’s stomach dropped, and panic rose in her chest.

  He wants her back. She was developing feelings for him. She’s going to take him.

  She swallowed, twice, and braced herself against the wall, trying to reassure herself that it was better to have loved for nine hours and lost than never to have loved at all when Cadhla came back into the room.

  “What the—Ana? Are you okay?”

  Ana’s tearful gaze landed on her friend’s green eyes. She bit her lip hard and shook her head.

  “What happened?”

  “Ethan…” she choked out.

  “What about him?” She took Ana’s hand and led her the few steps back to the table, easing her onto the chair and crouching in front of her. “What about Ethan, Ana?”

  “He… he wanted you back.” Ana couldn’t meet her eyes, afraid of what she’d find lying in their depths.

  Cadhla nodded and reached out to brush Ana’s bangs from out of her eyes, gently stro
king the side of her face. “He did.” She paused and tilted Ana’s head, silently insisting she look her in the eye. “But I told him I didn’t want him back.”

  Ana’s jaw dropped open in surprise. “You did? Wait, you don’t?” Ana’s tears fell freely.

  “Of course I don’t want him back, Ana. I told him I’m very happy with my girlfriend and he should delete my number and forget my name.”

  “You want me?”

  Ky wiped Ana’s tears and kissed her softly. “I want you, beautiful girl. I absolutely want you.”

  Epilogue

  Three months later

  “What can I get y—well, well, well! Miss Ana, welcome back to sunny Alabama! Blueberry mojito?”

  “Hey Mitch, great memory!” Ana beamed as she walked up to the bar and pulled out a stool for Cadhla, then herself. “Two, please. Ky, this is Mitch. Mitch, this is my girlfriend, Cadhla.”

  “Is this her?”

  Ana pulled the corner of her lip between her teeth and nodded, shyly.

  Mitch put the two glasses he was holding down on the bar, walked out and around it, and wrapped Ana in an enormous bear hug. “You did it!” he murmured. “When I didn’t hear from you, I wasn’t sure if that meant you did it and it was all good, or you didn’t do it and I just had no way of contacting you. I’m so proud of you, lady, way to get the girl.”

  “I’m sorry! I lost your card. I know, lame excuse, I shoulda called the bar. But yes, I did it. I told her. I haven’t told my family yet. I mean, I haven’t lied about it either. I haven’t seen them in a while. I came here to tell AJ but—I can’t do it. He’s met Ky before so it’s no biggie that she came with me to visit, I just—” Mitch covered her mouth with his hand.

  “Shh. You don’t need to justify or explain yourself to me, lady. You did the important part. You told her before she met someone else. She’s a looker, too—but it’s possible I’m biased towards beautiful redheads with fierce eyes.”