by Johnson, Cat
“Can you ever forgive me?” His voice cracked.
“I don’t know. You crushed me. You were my forever, and then you were gone with no explanation. I lost my best friend and the love of my life all at once.”
“Me too. I always wonder what would have been if I hadn’t enlisted.”
She scoffed. “You talked about enlisting since the day I met you.”
He wiped his eyes. “Yeah, I did. But I only made it two years.” He shook his head and glanced behind her. “Kate’s coming back. I’m gonna go. Consider it, okay? Forgiving me.”
He brushed her hair off her face, and in that moment, she wanted to kiss him.
Instead, she said, “I’ll think about it.”
He left before her sister returned.
“Wow, you two are looking cozy,” Kate said, handing her a bottle of water.
“Don’t get any ideas. We were only talking.”
Kate took a sip of her own water. “You’re still hung up on him, aren’t you?”
“No! I mean, I was engaged to another man.” Lily picked at the label on the plastic bottle in her hands. “Do you know why he left the military?”
Kate shrugged. “There were rumors around town, but I never knew for sure. Why, what happened?”
Lily took a sip of water. “Injury.”
She left it at that. Ryker always had been a private person, and it seemed like he was even more so now.
“Well, I’ll tell you that the fact he came out of hiding to talk to you will be news all over town before the sun goes down,” Kate said.
Great. Town gossip. Another reason she needed to get to Seattle.
But suddenly, Seattle didn’t sound so great.
Dammit, Ryker.
He’d gotten under her skin again.
4
After spending an hour looking for jobs, Lily needed a break.
“Dammit!”
She leaned back in the kitchen chair. This was supposed to be easy. Find a job. Move out.
“Everything alright?” Kate said, walking in the back door.
“No. There aren’t any jobs in Seattle that I want and am qualified for. What brings you to our parents’ house?”
Kate shrugged. “Thought I’d check on you. You seemed down last night when I dropped you off.”
She sighed. “I was. Ryker’s been through a lot.”
Kate grinned.
“Stop. No.”
“Do you still love him? Be honest.”
“Well, according to Gavin, yes. But I don’t want to. That can’t lead to anything but hurt.”
Kate walked over and gave her a hug. “Honey, you already were hurt, and you are continuing to hurt. Maybe you two deserve a second chance.”
Ryker had told her she was the only woman he’d been with. But they haven’t been together in two years. How could that be?
“How much of a recluse is he really? Any girlfriends? Dates?”
Kate sat in the other kitchen chair. “Not that I have ever seen. I’m in Zach’s pub often, and I can’t say I’ve seen him in there.”
A second chance. Could she do it? Could she open her heart to him again?
“He was a good guy,” her sister continued. “I don’t know what happened or why he broke up with you in a letter. I wanted to punch him for that. But I see how he looks at you… that boy is still in love.”
Still in love. That was what he’d told her.
“Instead of moving to Seattle, you should work at the bank in town. I know they’re hiring.”
Lily frowned. Stay in Fisher Springs?
“If you do, you can stay with me until you can get your own place. I’m not sure how you’re surviving with Mom on your case.”
By avoiding her. “You want me to stick around?”
“I do. I’ve missed you. And my friend Tabitha works at the bank. I’ll ask her to put in a good word for you.”
“Thanks, Kate.” She leaned over and gave her sister another hug. “Let me think about it, okay?”
“Okay. I need to run. My shift at the diner starts soon.”
All this talk of second chances had her mind on Kate and her ex.
“Hey,” Lily ventured, “do you ever wonder—”
“Don’t say his name.”
“How did you know I was going to?”
Kate’s smile was gone. “I just do. And the answer is no. I’ll see you later.”
Neither of them had been lucky in love.
Lily let out a sigh. Did she want to stay in Fisher Springs? The idea didn’t sound as bad as she thought it would.
The sound of shouting coming from her front lawn interrupted her thoughts. She pulled back the curtain to see Chief Dunin pulling his son Joey toward his car. Joey was yelling at Ryker.
Why were they outside her parents’ house?
The Dunins drove away just as she made her way outside.
“What’s going on?”
Ryker wrapped his arms around her.
She should have pulled away, but her traitorous body melted into his. The scent of his cologne brought back memories of them in each other’s arms, ripping their clothes off, unable to get enough of each other.
Her hands wrapped around his back. He was bigger than the boy she remembered. He’d gained so much muscle over the last two years.
“I’m so sorry, Lily. He could have hurt you, and it would have been all my fault.”
She stepped back. “What are you talking about?”
“Joey. He’s been threatening me for a while, but I haven’t paid him, so he came here to threaten you.”
“Slow down. Why is a detective threatening you?”
He ran his hands through his dark hair, making it stick up more than it already was. “Remember yesterday I told you I got hooked on pills?” There was fear in his eyes.
“Yes.”
“One time, my prescription ran out, and I needed more. Joey caught me buying pills from a guy on the street. He said he’d let me off with a warning, but a week later, he told me if I didn’t give him some incentive to keep quiet, he’d tell my dad what he knew.”
Her eyes welled with tears.
“I’m so sorry, Lily. I never wanted you to hear about this. Maybe now you can understand why I did what I did.”
She shook her head. She would never agree with the decision he’d made to break up with her. “You’re still paying him?”
Ryker nodded.
“How long has this been going on?”
He winced. “Longer than I want to admit.”
“How long?”
“About a year. At first, he only asked for money every couple of months, but lately, I can tell he’s using more and now demanding payment almost weekly. I can’t keep up. Even on a plumber’s salary.”
A year? “Joey’s using drugs? Why didn’t you go to Chief Dunin?”
“Because I didn’t want my dad knowing what I’d become. He says addicts are losers.”
And there it was.
“Ryker, is that your dad’s opinion or yours?”
His brows furrowed. “What does it matter?”
She took his hand. “It matters.”
“No, it doesn’t. None of it matters if you aren’t safe. Joey called me and said he was outside your parents’ house. He told me what you were wearing. He said if I didn’t get over here with the money, he’d... That’s when I called the chief. I couldn’t let anything happen to you, Lily. I told you yesterday, I still love you. I’ll always look out for you.”
“You still love me.”
She hadn’t meant to say it out loud. Yesterday, when he’d told her, she was a bit shell-shocked, but today, her heart ached to have his love again.
“I’ve missed you,” was all she could get out; her well of emotion was about to overflow. She wiped the tears from her eyes.
Ryker took a step closer and used his finger to lift her chin until she was staring into his eyes.
Her body ached with need under his heated gaze. She
wanted this man with everything she had. But could she trust him to not hurt her again?
He leaned down, his eyes on hers the entire time. He moved slowly, waiting for her to retreat, but she didn’t.
So much time had been lost, she refused to let any more be wasted.
She cupped his face as their lips met. His hands tightened on her hips, and his tongue swept into her mouth, causing her entire body to tingle. He pulled her closer and deepened the kiss.
“I’m so happy to see you two together again.”
Lily jumped back. Her neighbor, Ms. Matson, had pulled up beside them, but somehow, she hadn’t heard the car drive up. This man was all-consuming.
“We should go inside,” she whispered as Ms. Matson drove away.
He shook his head, and her stomach dropped.
“Come back to my apartment,” he growled. “I’m worried Joey might come back. They left his car on the side of the road.” He nodded to it.
“Your apartment?”
He grinned, again revealing those dimples that would be the death of her. “I realize what that sounds like, but it’s not a line, I promise.”
A war waged within her. Her mind said, ‘don’t go,’ but her heart was begging her to give in to this man.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” He seemed genuinely shocked. “Will you stay with me for a few days, let me keep you safe?”
A few days? That meant nights too.
“I can sleep on the couch,” he blurted.
There was the kind and considerate Ryker she’d fallen in love with.
Spending time with him could destroy her but staying away was no longer an option. Being with him felt as natural as breathing.
“Okay,” she said again. “Let me pack a bag.”
He nodded.
After she packed, she stood in her room taking several calming breaths. She was really doing this. She would be alone with Ryker for a few days.
Grabbing her phone, she sent a text to Kate to tell her where she’d be staying. Then she shot off a similar text to her mom.
That was something she wasn’t going to tell her in person. Her mom had made her dislike of Ryker very clear.
Kate immediately texted back.
Kate: I knew it! Go get yourself some of that man!
Lily rolled her eyes.
Lily: It’s not like that. Joey threatened me, and Ryker is worried he might come after me. Long story. I’ll tell you later.
Kate: You’d better! Stay safe!
When she walked back through the living room, she stuttered to a stop. Ryker stood on the lawn with his hands in his pockets, looking more nervous than he had the night they’d lost their virginity to each other. But despite his nervousness, he was sexy as hell.
That was something she’d tried very hard to forget.
Gavin had been an attractive man, but he was more of a manicured, well-groomed, always-in-a-suit type of guy. Ryker was more manly, the way his biceps bulged from his short T-shirt sleeves, and the scruff he always had on his face.
When Ryker said he would keep her safe, she trusted he would.
Lily walked out the front door, and he turned.
His entire face lit up with a smile. “Ready?”
“Yeah.”
But was she? It wouldn’t take much to fall for him all over again.
5
Ryker’s heart raced as they stepped into his apartment. He never dreamed he’d have Lily in this space. He wondered how it must look to her. The apartment was small and had few furnishings. With so much of his money going to Joey, he hadn’t had much left to do anything more.
Lily stood near the entrance, taking it all in, but her eyes zeroed in on something. She walked across the room to a bookshelf and grabbed a photo he kept there.
Aw, shit. He’d forgotten about that.
He walked to the kitchen and poured two glasses of water to avoid her gaze.
“Ryker? You have our prom picture on your shelf?”
He’d already told her he hadn’t been with any other woman — though why the hell he’d fessed up to that, he didn’t know. And now this. If she went into the bedroom, she’d find another photo, and think he was obsessed.
But he kind of was.
He decided to go with honesty. “Yeah. I told you I never stopped loving you.”
“But you never reached out. You’ve been off the pills for a while, right?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
His mouth was dry. He drank a full glass of water, then refilled it.
“Ryker?” She was standing near him now.
He dropped his gaze to the floor. “I was going to ask Kate for your number, after I discovered your old one was disconnected.” He paused. Shit. This was harder than he thought it would be. “Um, but before I could ask, I heard you had a boyfriend and that it was serious.”
She frowned. “You heard?”
He shrugged. “I overheard your mom telling someone when she was getting her hair done. I was fixing a leak in the bathroom sink at the salon when she came in. She didn’t know I was there.”
“Are you saying you were going to call me?”
He nodded. “But then I heard you got engaged. Do you love him?”
Before she could respond, her phone rang.
“It’s Kate.” Her eyes met his. “If I don’t answer, she’ll worry. I kind of told her I might be in danger.”
As she answered the call, he drank more water, willing his heart to stop pounding so hard.
The idea she might love another man hurt like hell. But what did he expect? He had told her she was better off without him.
“Ryker?” She hung up the phone and reached out to grab his arm. “Joey robbed the diner.”
“That doesn’t make sense. The chief is with him.”
She shook her head. “The chief is only just now getting to the diner. Joey must have snuck out.”
“Is he back in custody?”
“No. They don’t know where he went.”
Ryker walked across the room and locked the apartment door, then took Lily into his arms. “I’ll keep you safe.”
“I’m scared, Ryker. Joey is a detective. Why is he doing this?”
“I told you he’s using. The drugs are messing with his mind.”
Holding her felt so right… but she belonged to another man. Which meant he shouldn’t have kissed her.
Damn.
He felt like he should apologize. But instead, he held her tight as they waited in silence.
An awkward silence took over the pair. Lily was there with Ryker, but he knew she wasn’t his.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have kissed another man’s fiancée.”
Lily stepped back, frowning. “The engagement is off. That’s why I’m back home.”
Ryker sighed in relief. “What happened?”
Lily sat down on the couch. “He said my heart was with someone else, and he didn’t believe I could ever truly love him.”
He crossed the room and sat on the other end of the couch. “Who does he think has your heart?”
It had been two years since he’d broken things off. He had no idea how much she had dated since then, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to.
“You,” she said softly.
His heart was now beating so hard, he was sure she could hear it. “Is it true?” he whispered.
Tears welled in her eyes as she nodded. “I’ve always loved you, Ryker. Even after what you did, I never hated you. I still love you.”
He closed the distance between them and crashed his lips to hers. He tried to go slow, but two years of pent-up emotion struggled to take the lead. The moment their lips touched, the sparks returned.
There was no hint of hesitation on her part as she deepened their kiss. His tongue swept against hers, and it was so familiar and new at the same time. She let out a little moan.
The sound undid him. He needed to be inside her but didn’t want to push too fast. All this time
, he’d told himself he didn’t need her, but that was a lie.
Her hands moved under his shirt, touching his bare skin, and he yanked her onto his lap. Without breaking their kiss, she straddled him.
This woman made him feel like a teenager again; he swore his erection was about to bust through the zipper of his jeans, as she ground against him while kissing him senseless.
He was about to lose his shit.
Then she stopped.
“What’s wrong?”
“Take me to your bedroom,” she panted.
She stood and took his hand. He led her down the hall to his bedroom. When she laid down on the bed, her dark hair splayed out.
“It’s been a long time,” he murmured. “This may go faster than I want, but I’ll make up for it.” He reached for her T-shirt, and she helped by sitting up and removing both the shirt and her bra. “You’re so beautiful.”
He leaned down and kissed her neck, then moved down, taking her nipple into his mouth. She moaned as he sucked. He continued to kiss down her stomach and began pulling off her leggings. She finished yanking them down, which left her wearing only pink, lacy underwear.
As he bent to kiss her inner thigh, the scent of her arousal turned him on even more. His fingers brushed over the small piece of fabric. “Fuck, you’re wet.”
She gripped the bottom of his T-shirt and tugged it up. He pulled it over his head, and her eyes widened as she took him in. He was more muscular than he had been two years ago.
“I need you, Ryker.”
“Patience.”
He slowly slid her panties down her legs as he watched her writhe. Satisfied she wanted him as much as he wanted her, and knowing he wouldn’t last, he tossed her panties aside and dove in.
There was no hesitation. He licked and sucked until she was bucking, pulling his hair, and screaming his name. He was worried he’d forgotten how to please her, but it came back like muscle memory. He inserted two fingers and curled them the way she had liked.
“Yes!”
Her orgasm convulsed around his fingers, but he didn’t stop sucking on her clit until she was done.
