by NV Roez
"This is different, Micah, and you know it."
"Is it, or was it just gonna be a fuck?" His cocksure grin leaves me unsure.
Was it?
Now I'm embarrassed. I let him touch me. I was open to him like some desperate, naive girl he just claimed me to be. My anger rises as I see this situation with fresh eyes.
"Give me a break, Micah. You wouldn't even be here if Caleb or Elijah were around. You wouldn't dare do anything that they wouldn't approve of, so don't act so high and fucking mighty. Are you going to tell them you were here?"
He doesn't even bother to look at me while he puts on his shirt, his muscles protesting from the constraint of the cotton.
"Nice, Micah. Can't even deny it."
He just shrugs. "Guess I'll have to call London tonight after all," he says and walks out of the room without so much as a backward glance. A few moments later, I hear my front door slam shut.
What the hell just happened? What the hell am I doing? I'm horny, hurt, and my insides are flailing around like a kid in the deep end of a pool who doesn't know how to swim.
13
I'm laying in bed and glance at my desk clock—it's almost four a.m.—when I hear Celeste stumble through the sitting room. I get up to check on her when I see her on the floor, crawling to the bathroom. Her corset looks slightly torn and I think I see blood on her lip. Did she have fake blood when we left?
"Cele? Are you okay?"
I walk towards her just as she makes it to the bathroom. She looks up at me from the floor. Red, puffy skin surrounds her chocolate brown eyes, but no words come out of her mouth.
I reach down to grab her shoulders to help her up, and she immediately flinches away from me.
"Celeste?"
I'm immediately sick as recognition of her reaction hits me and stomach acid rises to my throat.
"Hey, it's okay, it's Evie. Let me help you get off the floor," I soothe.
She nods her head in agreement and lets me get her tiny frame on top of the toilet. The fear reflected in her eyes is thick and palpable in the air.
I should have never left her.
"I just need to take a shower and go to bed," she slurs. "I'm fine. I promise. Too much to drink and need to wash it off."
Her voice turns into a small whisper, her eyes darting all over the small room, refusing to look at me.
My gut tells me that the last thing I should do is leave her alone right now. My sister wouldn't leave me like this. I'm also pretty sure that I should be calling the police and not letting her take a shower, but what choice do I have?
I don't actually know what happened to her tonight, but she's skittish. I know her drunk... this isn't it.
I try to convince her to let me help her into the shower, but it doesn't work. I gently grab her chin to examine her eyes. Her pupils are dilated but clear. All I can smell is alcohol, no weed, and it's not like her to do drugs of any kind. She barely tolerates my recreational use.
She softly pushes me into the hallway and shuts the door in my face. Seconds later, I hear the water from our shower running full stream, and if I sit perfectly still, I can hear faint sobs coming from our bathroom.
I don't know why I'm so angry, but the acid in my stomach is churning, wanting to erupt.
Celeste is a good person, too good. She's a lot like Ivy, always caring about other people more than herself. Adding to the discomfort of that thought is the unpleasant guilt that raises its ugly head.
If I hadn't left her tonight to go with Micah, she wouldn't be in the shower right now, covering her cries. What's worse is feeling inadequate because I don't know what to do.
How do I help her if she's not willing to talk to me? What would I be helping her with? I'm the definition of the world's shittiest friend, even if I understood how friendship should work. She deserves better.
Ivy was better.
I grab a blanket from my room and head back to the sofa in our sitting room. When I walk back, something catches my eye from the window. No, not something. Someone is in the shadows, but I can't make out who.
When I stop and peer down to get a better look, whoever it was, is gone. I make a mental note to talk to Celeste about who brought her home and what the hell happened to Ryan. I flop onto the sofa to wait for her to come out of the bathroom and fall asleep.
14
Celeste and I walk through the courtyard to grab snacks and drinks for a little road trip and vacation since she decided to stay on campus for winter break. So far, all we’ve really done is veg out in front of the TV and stay in pjs all day while I work on getting as many assignments done for next term as I can.
“I’m fine, Evie, I promise. Honestly, I was so intoxicated the other night, I was probably just super sad from missing Justin and fell on my ass on the way home. And please don’t start again about me coming home by myself,” Celeste declares, undoubtedly trying to make light of whatever happened the other night.
Every time I ask her about the blood on her lip, the light bruises on her face that I know she’s covering with makeup, or if there’s anything that she wants to tell me, she gives me the same response.
Whenever I try to mention the person I thought I saw, she laughs it off with “you may have bought some bad stuff” in reference to the weed that’s still in my room—which I have yet to smoke. She’s already said on multiple occasions that I’m paranoid, so she plays that card, too.
I know I don’t deserve her as a friend. Friends would know what to do or what to say, but I have nothing to offer, so I just let her lie to me.
Ivy was always better at this kind of stuff, and when I look at Celeste, my heart hurts. The shine in her eyes is gone and I don’t think she’s sleeping at night because the growing bags under them, but she refuses to talk to me.
In my gut, I know something happened, but she won’t open up to me. Honestly, why would she? With all the secrets I keep from her... I can’t even tell her about my scars, and those she’s already seen.
If she’s where I think she is… she’s either going to continue to pretend nothing happened or say it out loud and let it break her. And the truth is, it’s easier to pretend—that I do know. It’s what I did, but it’s been years, not days.
Am I better for it or worse?
“I hope you like my surprise.” Celeste attempts to sound enthusiastic, but her smile doesn’t reach her eyes and it only kills me more. The only consolation is that I know she’s a fighter and I’m not letting her go. We’ll get through this together, even if she doesn’t realize it.
I laugh at the ridiculousness of our outfits as we walk over to the dining hall in our sleep shorts, hoodies, tube socks, and combat boots. As soon as we get into the main hall, I feel eyes at my back.
“Ms. Hawton, can I have a word with you?” The sharp tone in Dr. Weaver’s voice isn’t lost on me. I wonder what stories the elite assholes have conjured up this time. Or maybe Genna called my bluff about the video I’m supposed to have.
“Sure, Dr. Weaver, what can I do for you?” I feign cluelessness and wait for him to approach us. Might as well play the dumb card while I can.
“Maybe we should speak in private,” he says hoarsely as his eyes take stock of my bare legs. He looks completely uncomfortable.
Um… okay. They’re just legs, old man.
“Nonsense, I’m sure whatever you need to discuss with Evie can be said here. No one else is around. I promise, I won’t share anything. Besides, Evie trusts me,” Celeste pipes in, lacing her fingers in mine, giving Dr. Weaver the cheesiest grin I’ve ever seen.
She either saw the same look in his eyes that I did or she doesn’t want to be alone. Either way, she’s a great fucking friend and I’m reminded again of how much I don’t deserve her.
Dr. Weaver hesitates for a moment. “Ah, well, of course. I just wanted to check in to see how you’ve been settling in at Stratham and if you’ve reconsidered the extra therapy sessions. Your grades have been satisfactory, but I’ve also heard tha
t you’ve had some trouble with a few of our top students.”
Top students, my ass. Top assholes at this school, yes.
“I’m doing fine, Dr. Weaver. I’m pretty sure I’ll end the term with a 4.1, which should be more than satisfactory. And if you’re asking me to accept additional sessions on top of already having to meet with you each month, the answer is no.”
I don’t even bother addressing his top students comment because there’s nothing to say.
“Is there anything else that you needed?” I ask, only because he’s just standing there looking uncomfortable and maybe embarrassed? This man is so fucking strange.
“No, Ms. Hawton. That’ll be all for now. Uhm… Have a great holiday break.”
We thank him like the good little schoolgirls we are and I let Celeste drag me to the packaged food that the kitchen staff leaves out during off hours.
“What was that about?” Celeste looks at me, just as confused as I feel.
“No clue, but I’m finding that all of Stratham University’s staff members are just odd, don’t you think? I mean, this is your second year here. Is anyone here normal?” I jokingly ask her as I hoard enough Doritos and Lays potato chips to last the next few days.
I could seriously live off this shit. These were gold at Ventura.
Not your life anymore, Evelyn.
Celeste sucks in a breath and stills her movements, and for the briefest of moments, fear crosses her face.
“Celeste? You okay?”
She lets out a breath.
“Oh yeah, I’m fine,” she says far too quickly in a forced, false vibrato. “And you’re right, no one here can be trusted.”
Okaaaay…
I tilt my head toward her, squinting my eyes, and giving her a puzzled look. I didn’t say they couldn’t be trusted—even though that’s probably true—I said they were odd.
I’m about to correct her when my nose is assaulted by soap and fresh linen and my skin tingles. I know it’s him before I even turn around. So much for life being simple today.
“Hey, Elijah. Is Justin around?” Celeste inquires, completely oblivious about who this god of man is to me.
“I’m not your boyfriend’s keeper,” he snaps at her, but his steel eyes watch me with an intensity that can only be described as pure, unadulterated hatred as I turn completely to face him.
“Still hanging out with the trash, I see.” His eyes are a storm of venom that sends icy chills down my spine.
“She’s not trash, Elijah. Why are you being such a prick to her?”
He glances her way briefly and chuckles. “Do you even know her?”
He doesn’t bother staying for her reply and just walks away.
I close my eyes, holding onto the pain in my lungs with a vice grip. Every time he’s near me, I can’t seem to forget the girl who loved him once and the feel of my heart dying the day he broke her.
Celeste raises one eyebrow at me in question, but I just shake my head. “Let’s just get our snacks and go. I’m ready to get away from this place.”
“How many of them do you know? I thought you didn’t know anyone at this school?” She questions once we get into the dining hall.
“I don’t.”
“Soooo… ?” she exaggerates the word, trying to encourage me to elaborate. Ugh.
“So, I’m from Rose Bay and so are they. I knew of them. I don’t know them.” It’s not a complete lie. We are from Rose Bay. “Can we drop it?”
She sighs but doesn’t keep pushing. It’s time to get off this fucking campus.
I damn near jump out of my truck when we finally get to Glacier Ridge Resort, the ski lodge that we’ll be staying at for the next few days.
“This is my surprise? Are you kidding me? Jesus, Cele, I only got you a damn kitty knuckles keychain and you give me a slice of heaven! I don’t deserve you.” If I was the hugging type, I’d hug her.
We celebrated Christmas a couple days ago when I gifted her a kitty knuckles keychain similar to mine and she gave me a piece of paper that just said ‘surprise’.
Apparently, the surprise was a stay at Glacier Ridge Resort.
Yes, I’m a lousy friend, but I wanted her to have something she can use to protect herself.
Celeste, on the other hand, is a wonderful damn friend who gave me exactly what I needed, like she’s known me forever instead of a few months.
It’s not surfing, but snowboarding has its own kind of magic, and I haven’t felt magic in years. Not like I could do a lot at Ventura Youth Correctional Facility, and New York City doesn’t exactly boast their nature scene for a reason.
I’m so excited that I don’t register her hesitation as we enter the main building. The outside of the lodge might look like a log cabin, but the inside is a three-storey modern oasis of marble and glass with hints of rustic design.
There’s a lounge area on the far left with a beautiful double fireplace and large windows overlooking the mountains. Towards the right is The Den, the hotel’s restaurant, and just beyond the restaurant is a large shop that has rental gear, some clothes, and basic items for guests.
I’m overjoyed that she did this for me, this place is perfect. I really don’t care about the fancy part, but the idea of riding the mountain, fresh air, and solitude is my slice of heaven.
I feel like a kid at Christmas until I realize she’s slowed her pace behind me.
“What’s up, Cele?”
She looks apprehensive and a little… nervous?
“Well, I… I hope you don’t mind, but Justin called last night to tell me he would be around this week and I invited him here. He said it was perfect timing because he already had a room here and was going to surprise me with a getaway when he got back.” She’s nervously fidgeting with her fingers, head down, and glancing at me through her light lashes.
“What? Do you think I’m going to bite you because you invited your boyfriend to spend the last part of winter break with you? Jeez, Cele, give me some credit.”
I roll my eyes at her, grab my luggage, check-in at the expansive welcome counter, and head to the elevator. As soon as the elevator doors open, I realize the full implication of what Celeste was trying to tell me.
“Oh, God, Caleb. This place must be going downhill if they’re letting trash stay here.”
Genna. The doors of hell are never far away.
I watch as she moves closer to Caleb and both step out of the elevator.
Is the universe trying to kill me slowly?
“Ah, and the bitch princess has arrived,” I quip and smile ever so slowly as I catch Caleb subtly moving away from Genna.
Yeah, he’s not going to protect her, but he also won’t look at me.
Coward.
“Whatever. Just stay away from us, loser.” The way she flips her hair would make Regina George proud as she practically drags Caleb away.
Caleb, on the other hand, says nothing.
As soon as the elevator doors close, I whirl on Celeste. “Are you fucking serious? Are ALL the Knights here? You could have at least given me a heads up.”
Celeste has the courtesy to look contrite.
“Justin told me last night, and you were so excited to come out here. I didn’t know that there was bad blood between all of you. It’s not like you share anything with me. Only some of the Knights booked rooms here. I didn’t know it’s some sort of tradition for them to spend time with their girlfriends here before school starts again. I thought it was just Genna that might be an annoyance. I didn’t know what to do, but I figured this place is big enough that we can just avoid her.”
I take a deep breath in, restraining my anger as best as I can. It’s not her fault, and I can’t blame the girl for wanting to spend time with her guy. Plus, it’s not like she knows about my history with the Knights, but fuck if it doesn’t dampen my mood.
“Is Taylor here, at least?”
“No, he and a few of the others had to stay behind to finish whatever it is that they’re doing.
”
Sigh. Wonderful.
15
The next morning, we meet Justin for breakfast at The Den. He got in late last night and Cele wanted to have at least one girl sleepover.
I'm dressed in my snowboarding gear with a huge smile on my face. Nothing is going to stop my happiness today. I'm still feeling like a kid at Christmas, basically salivating at the mouth for a ride down the mountain.
There's something magical about taking on nature, whether it's a mountain or a wave—it's still magic. Caleb and the rest of the Knights are momentarily forgotten.
Celeste and I are sitting at the booth when Justin slides in next to her, setting down plates full of fluffy eggs, crispy bacon, and warm biscuits. I'm too excited to eat, so I stick to the hotel's coffee. It's not Sugar & Spice, but it'll have to do.
Celeste has never been snowboarding, so Justin and I are giving her tips for her first ride when I'm jolted by the feeling of cold liquid sliding down my head and back along with... What is this... cheerios?
"What the fuck!" I shriek, jumping out of the booth. I turn around to see Genna and London both standing there with smirks on their face.
"Oops! London, you're so clumsy." Genna giggles. The perfect bottle blond is in ski gear that looks made for fashion instead of actual riding.
"Oh, but I thought that's where you're supposed to put the trash." London snickers, and I swear to the fucking gods, I'm going to lose my shit.
Too many witnesses, Evelyn. Breathe.
Celeste starts in her verbal assault. Justin holds onto her, which is no easy feat despite her size and being on the inside of our booth. Caleb rounds the corner, right when I'm about to knock the bitch princess out, witnesses be damned.
It takes him a nanosecond to take in the scene and immediately stands between Genna and me.
"Genna, it would be in your best interest to walk out of this room, right now," Caleb reprimands her over his shoulder while keeping his eyes on me.
I'm still watching her and take great pleasure when her eyes bulge in shock. Fucking Barbie thinks the world bows at her feet.
