by Dawn French
‘No,’ replied Julius, heading back to the mirror to reconfirm how impressed he was with himself.
Anna opened the door mid-preen, followed by a huge dollop of awkward. Julius decided to ride roughshod over all of it by advancing on her with his arms open, exclaiming, ‘Darling!’
Anna recognized the familiar sophistry. ‘Hello, Julius.’ She accepted his hug but returned none of it; she didn’t feel obliged to, since it was entirely fake.
‘Where shall we sit?’ she said.
Debbie arranged the sofas so that they were opposite each other and suggested that they should give Florence her space on one, and that the two of them should sit together on the opposite one. It was good thinking, but Julius was distracted by his phone and he kept nipping out into the hall to answer it. Anna tried not to mind, but she did. She really really did. Eventually, she had to pipe up.
‘Julius. Please turn your phone off, and come and sit down. We are about to meet her for the first time in eighteen years. For God’s sake!’
Julius was surprised. He was about to initiate the customary ruckus in which his need to be alpha would drive the quarrel, but he suddenly realized that he was no longer married to her, therefore had zero power any more. It wouldn’t matter if he won an argument. He compromised and turned his phone to silent.
They sat quietly for a minute or so as Debbie cleared the room out, asking Kirsty and Thripshaw to leave.
Debbie turned to them both. ‘Are you ready?’
Julius and Anna nodded.
‘OK, I’ll be back with her in two ticks,’ said Debbie as she left the room, sliding a sly wink of support to Anna, unseen by Julius.
The room was still and silent.
Anna didn’t want to, but she knew she had to look at Julius. For a fleeting second, they locked eyes and a ghost of a memory passed between them. They had, after all, made this person who was about to come through the door. There had once been … something … together. Any whisper of rare vulnerability disappeared from his face the moment the door handle turned.
They both looked at the door. Debbie came in first, and in her hand was a hand. Then an arm. Then she was there.
Anna gasped. The beauty of her. The light.
Here she was. Her daughter.
Minnie froze to the spot just inside the door. She couldn’t take her eyes off Anna. Something in her felt profoundly connected instantly.
Julius was the first to clumsily break the magic mother-line moment.
He bellowed, ‘Florence! Come and give your dad a big hug!’
Minnie’s brain was thrown into complete confusion. Who was ‘Florence’? Who was ‘dad’?
This felt like an assault. Anna recognized immediately that she was floored, and put her arm out to prevent Julius from lunging forward.
Instead, the ever-sensitive Debbie led Minnie to the sofa and indicated for her to sit down, which she just about managed on her jelly-wobbly legs. Never had she felt so entirely other-worldly. The whole room and everyone in it seemed surreal.
Debbie crept out, closing the door behind her.
The three sat there, looking at each other, drinking it all in. The air was thick with difficult.
Anna spoke, eventually. ‘What would you like us to call you?’
‘Florence, of course!’ blurted Julius. ‘That’s her name!’
‘Shh, Julius,’ Anna interrupted, the lioness in her emerging in defence of her cub. She turned back to Minnie. ‘Please help us to know what you would like to be called?’
‘Well,’ replied Minnie, speaking for the first time in this strange room, ‘I’d like you to call me by my name. Minnie.’
‘What?’ he puffed. Anna put her hand up to shush him.
‘Of course. Minnie. It’s actually a lovely name, it suits you so well,’ she said, smiling.
‘Um, thanks,’ Minnie said, trying to be nice.
Then she didn’t know what else to say, so Anna came to the rescue.
‘Can I just say, Minnie, I can’t begin to know how this must all be for you. It’s blummin’ weird for me, for us, so it must be a hundred times that for you. None of us know how to do this, so forgive us if we get it a bit wrong, yes?’
Julius looked puzzled. He wasn’t going to get it wrong. What did she mean?
Minnie was captivated by Anna’s voice. It was softer, posher than she’d imagined. It was different. And lovely. Minnie liked that Anna looked her directly in the eyes, not flinching for a second. Julius, on the other hand, seemed fidgety. He was moving about in his seat, restlessly, illustrating his embarrassment.
Minnie had seen his face already in the newspaper. She had scrutinized it closely. His features were markedly different to the West Indian men she knew in her family. He was darker, and his features were more sharply defined. He was clearly of African descent, more like Captain Paul Cuffee in the beloved picture. This differentiation had always confused Minnie. Her uncles and her grandmother were essentially Jamaican, but they always reminded her that they too were Africans originally, way back when. They were proud of that. Their faces, though, bore the traces of all the different influences that had been evident in Jamaica throughout history, including Indian, Chinese and Taino Arawak people. It was this melting pot of variety that produced the slightly lighter skin and almond eyes of the Jamaicans that Minnie knew.
Now she was looking at an African face that was her direct genetic inheritance, and at Anna’s Nordic skin and the whole pearliness of her, a lot about what Minnie saw in the mirror every day started to make sense. Until Hope exploded her world, Minnie had never questioned any part of her identity. The Absent African was the key for her, and she’d never seen Isaac, so she assumed that any unanswered questions about how she looked were to be answered in him.
Yet here they were, her biological parents. The two sets of atoms and genes and flesh and blood and everything that had actually made her. It was overwhelming.
‘Of course,’ answered Minnie, ‘it’s all new.’
Anna’s heart might have jumped out of the cherry-patterned blouse and straight into Minnie’s, she felt such a rush of love for her. Anna had no doubt she would connect with Florence, now Minnie – how could she not? But what she had not predicted was the utter beauty of her, making her completely irresistible. Perhaps, Anna thought, she was seeing herself in Minnie. Was it wishful or vain to consider that? Was it selfish? It was all she could do not to throw herself on to Minnie and gather her up; she so wanted to, but she knew it would be foolish to scare her. She wanted to tread carefully, although she longed for touch.
Anna said, ‘With time, Minnie, I hope you’ll come to know us, and we’ll know you, but only in your own time, OK? We’re not going to hurry anything. It will all be at your pace. You are in charge.’
‘Thank you. Yes,’ Minnie replied gratefully.
‘I can’t wait to show you the couple of pictures we have of you when you were only a few minutes old. You were so beautiful, so perfect. You ARE still …’
‘Oh my God. I didn’t think about that … WOW,’ Minnie answered, her smile a reflection of Anna’s.
‘We’ve only got two,’ Julius interjected, ‘because, of course, we didn’t have you long before—’
‘Julius!’ Anna gave him a shot across the bows, but he ploughed on like the bull he was.
‘—before you were stolen,’ he said, emphasizing the last word, throwing it at Minnie like a dart. Julius had the moral bit between his teeth now. ‘I’m so happy to see you again, Florence—’
‘Minnie,’ Minnie corrected him.
‘Well, you’re Florence to me. That’s what we named you, and you ARE our daughter, after all, but excuse me, I will take time to get used to that name. But the most important thing to take away from this meeting today …’
MEETING? Anna was starting to boil. He needed to shut up. He was in danger of tipping the whole thing up, the fool.
‘… the most important thing,’ he continued, taking the floor, ‘is
that you are back now, in your rightful place, with us. Obviously, there’s a lot to sort out, not least what the consequences are for Ms Parker—’
‘My mum,’ Minnie corrected him.
‘For Ms Parker, who, I’m afraid, committed a very serious crime indeed. I mean, in truth, for all these eighteen long years, Anna here has been wilfully DENIED that chance to be your mother, which she was so longing for. As was I wanting to be your father …’
Shut up, Julius, you fake. Anna was seething. She could see Minnie starting to recoil, she had to interject, ‘Julius, now is not the time.’
‘Well, when, Anna?’ he blustered on. ‘It’s only fair on Florence that she gets the truth …’
‘Listen, Julius, please,’ Anna pleaded with him in desperation as she felt the moment collapsing under the weight of his clomping boorishness, ‘the fact is that ALL of us stand in need of kindness and forgiveness here, except Minnie. She is the one shining truth. She is innocent of anything. Please tread carefully …’
‘I am guilty of nothing, Anna,’ he snapped. ‘How dare you?’
Minnie saw the giant fissure between them start to physically crack open in front of her. She was unfamiliar with this jarring type of squabble. She only had one parent. Hope didn’t argue with anyone except her, and even that was forgivable, always. This was different. It was spiteful.
‘Look,’ said Julius, standing up. Minnie thought for a moment that he was going to calm the situation and maybe say something clever and kind to make it all right. That’s what fathers did, after all. Maybe he was going to come through heroically?
He continued, ‘I think we need to just calm down. I’d like to suggest that we get the interview and the pictures out of the way, and perhaps then we can get a nice afternoon tea or ice cream?’
‘Sorry, Julius.’ Anna jumped on this immediately. ‘What pictures? What interview? What the actual fuck are you talking about, you git?’
Minnie was shocked. Perhaps Anna wasn’t so soft or so posh after all? But she was glad Anna seemed to be sorting it.
Julius replied, ‘I just thought it would be a lovely story – to tell everyone, after all these years of asking for their help to find her, to show that Florence is back where she belongs. The guys are all set up in another room up the hall.’
‘I can’t believe you’d do this; you are beyond belief. You’re a venal cur. That’s what my father called you when we split up and he’s right. You are toxic, Julius!’ Anna shouted at him.
Minnie stood up. Anna and Julius stopped squabbling for a moment.
She opened her mouth to speak to both of them. ‘I am Minnie. I’m not a story. I’m a person. Who is leaving now, to go back to my mum, who knows how to love me.’
And with that, she left.
Anna cried after her, ‘Minnie! Please!’ Then she turned on Julius, all guns blazing. ‘Why, and may I emphasize the FUCK, would you do that? You’ve ruined it, just like you ruin everything. Oh God, I’ve lost her again, and I didn’t even get to touch her!’ And with that, Anna started to weep.
By now, Thripshaw had entered the room, having heard the furore. He spoke directly to Julius, who was pacing up and down in exasperation.
Thripshaw didn’t hold back. ‘Well, Mr Lindon-Clarke, that went well, didn’t it? Truly, I’ve met some pricks in my time, but you, sir, are the full cactus.’
The Trial, London
Hope was on the phone to Minnie, in the fuggy anteroom where she was waiting with her lawyer for the trial to start. The couple of weeks since Minnie had met her birth parents hadn’t been easy, and now this.
‘Hi, Min. How you doing this morning?’
Minnie’s voice was wobbly on the phone. ‘Hey, Mum. Oh God, I wish I was there with you. This is so wrong.’
‘I know, but look, I can handle this; you need to look after you and Bean right now. What did Dr Chandra say?’
‘He wants me to stay put here in the hospital for another couple of nights, just to get my breathing sorted. They’re doing regular blood-pressure checks and I’ve got another echo this afternoon, but I’m OK and Bean’s doing OK, and Lee’s here. He brought me a Happy Meal in from Maccy D’s. I’ve got a free toy. Couldn’t be happier,’ she lied, then faltered, ‘Oh Mum, I can’t believe it …’
‘I know, Min, I know. But honestly, it’s best you’re not here anyway. There are tons of press outside. Cameras flashing everywhere. That’s me in the papers now, I reckon. They’ve got pics of the Monster at last.’
‘Yeah, the Monster. That’s you all right.’
‘I have to go now, Min. Remember everything I’ve told you. Stay gentle and keep in touch with me, OK?’
‘OK.’
‘And Min …’
‘Yeah?’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘I know, Mum.’
‘Love you.’
‘Love you too.’
‘Wawa forever.’
‘Wawa for always.’
‘Bye.’
‘Bye.’ And she was gone.
Hope took a very deep breath. She didn’t want to be in court in London. She wanted to be at the hospital in Bristol with her daughter.
Hope had instructed her lawyer that she wanted to enter a guilty plea. They’d been discussing it all for weeks, and her counsel were advising caution and patience in the hope that they might be able to mitigate in her defence in two ways.
Firstly, that allowance should be made for her state of mind when she took the baby, but considering that she had kept ‘the baby’ for eighteen years afterwards, they felt she would be on shaky ground with that.
Secondly, they believed that they could argue that Minnie/Florence (Julius had insisted she be referred to as the latter throughout the trial) had never experienced violence or cruelty or sexual assault, so that, in effect, her upbringing had been relatively normal, and that, in fact, there was a case to be made that she might well even have had a WORSE childhood had she remained with her original parents. Who had since divorced.
Hope had considered this very seriously as it could possibly help to reduce her sentence considerably; also, Minnie’s account of how broken the relationship was between Anna and Julius, as evidenced in their meeting with her, was saddening. Julius didn’t sound like a kind or good man. Hope believed it was absolutely true that Minnie had been better off with her.
BUT.
Minnie’s description of Anna prevented Hope from using this argument. Anna sounded like a decent person. Minnie liked her. Hope did steal her baby. She couldn’t add this dire insult to the already deleterious injury. Woman to woman, despite the evident benefit to herself, Hope couldn’t allow her team to use this argument in her defence.
She said a resolute no.
So, because she’d not pleaded guilty at the earliest opportunity, Hope missed out on the larger reduction on her sentence.
But Hope was fully ready to pay for what she’d done. And pay she would, if Julius had any say in the matter. He was ravenous for revenge.
Julius had wanted to arrive at court with Anna, hand in hand, but Anna refused to continue the façade, so she arrived very early and sat drinking endless awful coffees until it was time to go in. Everyone had agreed that neither Anna nor Julius would be called to testify, but that their victim statements could be used by the prosecution.
Julius wasn’t happy that he was going to miss out on his chance to rail and shine, so he decided to make the most out of his arrival. When his car first pulled up outside the court, he was a bit early, so there was only a smattering of press present. He instructed the driver to go once more around the block, so that his entrance might be more impactful, and when he eventually climbed out of the car, he had his best pained face on, and kept claiming, ‘Guys, seriously, this is a difficult day, both Anna and I would appreciate it if you respected our privacy …?’ He was more than a bit miffed when they did just that, and backed off, trickling away one by one.
Inside the sombre building, Julius hunted for A
nna, and found her drinking thin coffee and trying to hide in a corner. He saw her across the large main hallway, and he started to approach her. Just as he came close, help loomed into view, in the shape of Inspector Debbie Cheese, who’d agreed to stick by Anna all day.
‘Morning, Julius,’ Debbie said, too loudly, too cheerfully, heading him off at the pass. Julius tried to ignore her.
‘Anna, may I speak with you?’
Ignoring Debbie was akin to ignoring a tsunami.
Impossible.
‘I’m afraid Anna is currently out of the office, can I help at all?’ she replied as she stood directly between them.
‘Don’t be ridiculous, let me talk to her …’
‘Perhaps you didn’t quite hear me? Anna is out, unavailable, engaged, occupied or dead to you. Choose any or all from the above. Either way, you can’t speak to her right now, capiche?’
Anna felt a mammoth wave of gratefulness wash over her. This woman was stupendous. She leant out from behind Debbie to see what Julius’s face was doing. It was puffing and dark red. His eyes were wide with outrage, but he was clearly too gobsmacked to speak.
Debbie turned back to Anna. ‘Come on, it’s time to go in.’ And with that she nodded to indicate that they should move away.
Anna stood and, contrary to everything her manners dictated, she walked away from Julius without a backward glance. She took Debbie’s arm for courage, and they went into Courtroom No. 1, and sat down on a green leather bench side by side.
Hope, since she was firmly pleading guilty today, was anticipating some degree of leniency. The trial would not be as huge and awful as it could have been, though she was nonetheless shaking when she was led in.
As Hope entered the courtroom, her life, which ordinarily travelled at normal living speed, suddenly switched to the kind of pace at which treacle travels. Even her blinking was slow. She felt as if she’d been drugged with Rohypnol. She could hear her own sluggish breathing, and her head was so heavy, swivelling in slow motion on her neck, as she took in everything to her left and right. She was acutely aware of the smell of musty suits and recently applied perfume and wood. She had chosen to wear a smart navy-blue trouser suit with a soft yellow blouse beneath which fastened at the side of the neck with a large bow. She wanted to be smart, look businesslike, so that no one could accuse her of being sloppy or crazy. She wore heels and this was the main sound she could hear as she entered, her heels clomping on the old parquet wood of the courtroom floor.
