SOMETHING SO SERIES

by Madison, Natasha

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now? You fucking lied straight to my face.”

  Okay, now I’m getting pissed. I didn’t technically ever lie to him, I just omitted it from our conversations.

  “I never lied, the topic just never came up.”

  “Never came up, are you fucking with me? We have been talking about everything for the last week and never ever have you mentioned that you have two kids. Don’t you think it’s something you should have mentioned?”

  “Actually, no, I don’t think it is something I should have mentioned seeing as I wasn’t going to let the two worlds collide. So there was no reason to bring it up.”

  “TWO. WORLDS. COLLIDE.” And with that, he leaves me here by myself on the ice looking at his ass as he skates away.

  Well, I guess that is over. Why do I feel this pain inside my chest, this heaviness? I knew this was coming, but I still can’t help but feel sad. I actually liked him.

  The rest of the day drags on with not one more run-in with Cooper. He didn’t even stop for his protein shake after his shower.

  Matthew told me he said he was just going to grab something after. So I did what I do best. I continued and left it in my mind where I would think about it later. When I was alone by myself.

  I didn’t even have the energy to text Meghan and let her know.

  I arrive home at the same time that James is pulling into the driveway.

  “Momma, Momma, Momma,” I hear Allison’s little voice and everything I did today is washed away with the sight of my girl. She runs over, launching herself into my arms. I go down and kiss her neck, making her giggle.

  “Allison, Daddy is leaving. I’ll see you next week, okay? Matthew, call me later.” James tries to get her attention, but I haven’t seen her in five days. At her age she has a thousand stories to tell me.

  I take it all in, waving to James as he heads out. We are together for five minutes before a blackRange Rover enters the driveway. My stomach balls into a fist of pain. It’s tight, and I think I’m going to throw up.

  Cooper gets out of the truck and when I look at him I’m blown away. I’ve seen him countless times at this point but each and every time I’m taken aback by his beauty.

  He walks toward us. Allison looking over my shoulder at him, I brace myself for the end, because I know in that moment that I won’t ever be in his arms again.

  He probably doesn’t want a mom when he can have anyone he wants. Someone without stretch marks, saggy boobs, or commitments. Someone who is free just for him. I will never be that person because I have two people I love more than my life, and my commitment is to them, always.

  “Hey there, princess, what’s your name?” he asks, looking at Allison, who has put her head in my neck, something she does when she’s shy and unsure about things.

  She looks up at him with her beautiful blue eyes, and I’m afraid that in the end we will both be heartbroken.

  “I’m Awlison and I’m five,” she says from my neck, bringing her hand up and showing him her fingers.

  He laughs at her. “You are very beautiful, just like your mom, you know that?”

  She nods her head, looking at me. “Who are you?” she asks with the innocence only a child can have.

  “I’m Cooper, a friend of your mom’s. She is helping me get better at hockey.”

  That word friend, I don’t know why, but it guts me. It makes me want to shrink down. Friend. I haven’t hated that word more in my life than at this very minute.

  “Baby girl, this is Cooper. He is coming to Mommy’s rink so I can help him. Actually, Matthew was helping me with him today.”

  “Matthew is rwally good at hockey. You can’t beat him, he is the best.” She puts up her head, showing him exactly what team she will always be on.

  He laughs, full on belly laughs at her.

  “Yeah, he really is very, very good. Your mom trained him right. I’m hoping to be just as good as him.”

  She struggles to get down.

  “Allison, why don’t you bring your bag inside and ask Matthew what he wants for supper while I talk to Cooper?”

  “Okay, Momma. I want pizza, so Matthew will want pizza because we love the same things, only I want cheese and no pepperoni. Matthew likes pepperoni, so we have to get some for Matthew. Do you like pepperoni, Mr. Cooper?”

  “I love both.”

  “Good, if you stay, I can share my side with you, because Matthew is a gwowing boy and needs all his food, so he can’t share.”

  “Okay, Allison, go on inside and ask Matthew, please.”

  She walks toward the door, dragging her little suitcase behind her. I hate that suitcase. I hate that I have to share her. I hate that I can’t see her every single day.

  I wait for the door to close before looking back at Cooper. If I’m honest I was giving myself the time to build myself up.

  “What are you doing here, Cooper?”

  “I came to see you. I had to calm down before I said something we both regretted.”

  “I think you said everything you had to say. Don’t worry about what this was, I’ll continue to train you.” Turning around to walk away, his voice stops me.

  “You walk away from me and I will smack that pretty little ass of yours.” He doesn’t even give me a chance to talk. “You think I’m done, is that it? You think because you have kids I’m going to bolt? I know that is what you are thinking. I can see it in your eyes. I know you, baby, even if you don’t want to admit it.”

  “Yes, I don’t think you could have handled me having kids, which is why I didn’t want to tell you. With you, I just wanted to be me. Parker. I didn’t want you to think I was Parker the mom. I love my kids more than myself, but I didn’t want you around them, and before you say anything it was for me. It was because I didn’t want them thrust into this fling. I wanted to keep it separate.”

  My voice is shaky because I don’t know how much more I can continue without the tears coming in. I hate that this is getting to me. I hate that this thing is starting to be more than I care to admit it is.

  “When are you going to get it into your thick ass head that this isn’t the fling you keep saying it is? I want to know you, all of you, everything about you. What makes you smile, what makes you sad, your fears, your hopes, your dreams. I want it all. I want you to give all that to me. I don’t give a fuck if you have one kid or twelve kids, what I care is that I’m here with you. Now are we clear?”

  I’m not sure I’m ready for what Cooper Stone has to offer, but what I do know is that I’m not strong enough to turn him away anymore. I know it’s the smart thing to do for everyone, but for just this once I’m being selfish for me.

  “Want to spend a cool Saturday night ordering pizza and probably watching Frozen?”

  “What’s Frozen?” he asks, and I feel bad for him for that one second.

  “You are going to love it,” I say, knowing he will hate every single second, but he asked for this and who am I to deny him this.

  “You there next to me is all I need.” He leans in, laying a kiss on my lips. I intertwine our hands, walking inside my house.

  “Let me give you a tour of my home.” I smile up at him, and in that moment I’m happy he is here with me.

  In the end, he shared pepperoni pizza with us and snuggled up on the couch with Allison to watch Frozen. Allison loved that he was so into it, she gave him the play by play. She fell fast asleep on his lap right before the sisters shared their love.

  “Babe, this was fucking torture. Are they all like that, with the singing and stuff?”

  “Yes, they are all like that, and don’t you start. I tried to get you out of it. You were the big man, thinking this is a walk in the park. Ha ha ha, never underestimate the power of Disney!” I giggle at him.

  “Babe, where do I put Allison? I don’t want to wake her.”

  “I’ll take her, don’t worry about it.” I reach out to grab my baby from him at the same time he goes to stand up, cradli
ng her over his shoulder.

  “Lead the way.”

  We walk down the hall, placing her in her bed and covering her. I kiss her forehead, turning off her light. Cooper follows me out.

  “Want to stay or go?” I ask him, holding my breath. I really want him to stay, but after the shock of today I won’t push it.

  “Where is Matthew?” He reaches up to cradle my face as he asks the question.

  Matthew had supper with us, but as soon as we mentioned Frozen he bailed and said he had some science to study for.

  “I’m going to say he is passed out right now, but we can check to make sure.”

  I lead him away from Allison’s room and peek into Matthew’s. I guess I was right. There in his queen bed rests the first man to ever have my heart unconditionally, his science book tossed on the floor beside his bed, soft snoring coming out of him.

  “Just like I thought. It was a long day, plus he was at the rink all day.”

  His hands go around my waist, walking away from the bedroom toward the front door. Well, that answers my question. Guess he’s leaving. He opens the door, and when I’m thinking he will walk down the steps, he walks around to the hammock.

  “Lie with me?” he asks.

  “Have you seen yourself? You can’t fit in that hammock. You’re huge.”

  He goes to lie down, keeping one foot on the ground, lying in the hammock.

  “I guess you can fit like that.”

  I lie down next to him, or more like half on top of him.

  “Babe, we are not getting hot and heavy with the kids inside. I just want to lie down with my woman, chilling.”

  “Define hot and heavy.” I’m not even going to try to deny that I want him anymore. I want him any way I can get him.

  He puts his finger under my chin, lifting my lips to his, slowly inching his tongue inside of my mouth. It feels like home. It feels that, no matter what happens during the day, if I come home to this, everything is going to be worth it.

  That’s what we do in the hammock, we kiss, we feel, we relax, and in all that relaxing I finally fall asleep with my man in my hammock.

  Chapter Ten

  Sunday morning cuddles is what I live for. Well, every other Sunday. After falling asleep in the hammock with Cooper, he woke me up some hours later with soft butterfly kisses. Which led to some heavy making out with me ending up moaning out his name. So now I’m waking up to different kisses, kisses from my blond-headed baby girl whispering about her love for pancakes.

  Standing up at the counter making Mickey Mouse pancakes, there is a knock at the door, making me look at Matthew like he was expecting someone.

  “Matthew, can you go see who is at the door, please?”

  “Sure.”

  A couple of minutes later, I see Matthew walking into the kitchen, and just before I ask him who it was I see a familiar baseball cap following him.

  “Good morning, everyone. I thought I would bring some doughnuts and coffee,” he says, holding the box of dozen doughnuts while he hands me a coffee.

  “We can’t habe doughnuts now. Mom is making Mickey Mouse pancakes. His smile is made from chocolate chips. We habe to eat this. Plus, it’s Sunbay. Eberybody knows it’s pancake day.” Allison looks straight at Cooper, showing him her beautiful smile after her instructions.

  “I’m sorry, Allison, I didn’t know about Sunday pancakes. Do you think I can have one?”

  “Momma, can Cooper habe pancakes? He didn’t know about Sunbay.”

  “Umm, I think I have enough for one more,” I say, looking up at him while he bends to kiss my cheek. I look over at Matthew, who is very quiet in the corner.

  “Hey, Matthew, how about you set the table for four outside?”

  “Yeah, sure thing. Aly, do you want to come help me?”

  “No, I habe to help Momma. Cooper can help you. It can be boys with boys and girls with girls.”

  “That sounds like a good idea. Matthew, what can I carry for you?”

  “You can grab the orange juice from the fridge, the syrup, and the napkins. I got the rest.”

  “Okay, so boys will do boy things, girls will do girls. See you outside, ladies.”

  When the last pancake is flipped, I lead the way with Allison following closely behind, carrying the box of doughnuts.

  “Cooper, Momma said we habe to bring this outside to be bolite, in case you get more hubgry.” Allison is very matter-of-fact.

  “Okay, princess, sit down in your chair, and I’ll hand you the pancakes.”

  The meal is running smoothly. It’s also the first time I’ve had anyone but James at my table with the kids. I’m mid chew when Matthew shocks the shit out of me.

  “So, Cooper, you and my mom...are you guys dating?”

  Forget mid chew, I’m now choking on my pancake. I’m not even ready to admit to myself what the heck we are, let alone to my kids. I go to clear my throat when Cooper takes over for me.

  “Yeah, bud, we are. I like your mom. Actually I like her a lot, and I hope she likes me, too. I plan on hanging around more and more. I hope that is okay with you and Allison.”

  “Do you want to kiss my momma?” Allison asks, and in that moment, I want the earth to eat me up.

  “Well, I really like to kiss her, but I also like to hold her hand and hug her. But most of all I like to make her smile. I want to make her as happy as she is when she is with you.”

  “Momma used to cry sometimes. I don’t lobe that. I don’t want Momma to cry. Will you make her cry?” My poor sweet girl...while I thought I was being so secretive with making sure she didn’t see me cry, she still did.

  “Baby, I promise to never intentionally make your momma cry, and if she does cry I promise to wipe the tears.” He looks over at me with his hat on his head, his face still with stubble from not being shaved today, and he smirks at me, taking a sip of his coffee. In that moment he is all I think I will ever need. No, I don’t think, I know he is everything I wished for.

  “So,” Cooper says. “I’m thinking that we could maybe go out for supper. Maybe hit up a nice restaurant. What do you guys say?”

  “Cooper, it’s Subday, it’s pancake day and Auntie Meghan swim day. We go there and we swim. I help the twins swim, because I can swim without my lifejacket ‘cause I’m fibe.”

  “You guys are very busy on Sundays.” He winks at me. “I’ll send Tom a text to let him know I’ll be there also.”

  “Umm, I don’t even know what to say right now. Excuse me.” I push away from the table before I cry in front of them.

  I walk inside to the sink, grabbing myself a glass of water. I’m trying to bring down the beating of my heart, struggling to not have a panic attack because right now it feels like I’m watching my life from outside my body. I feel him even before he touches me.

  “Baby,” he says while he wraps his arms around my stomach, kissing my neck. “You okay?”

  “No, Cooper, I am not okay. I am far from okay right now. I have my son asking if we are dating. I have my daughter telling you that I cry, which I have to say I have stopped doing. That much anyway. And, and”—I shake my head, hoping to clear the fog in my mind—“I have you telling them that we are dating and that you want to kiss me. Do you know what you just did?”

  “Yeah, I told them I’m with their mom. I owed it to Matthew to be honest. Babe, they are going to see me around a lot. I’m going to be holding your hand and even kissing you. They have to know.”

  “Cooper, I haven’t even dated since my divorce. Well, I’ve dated dated, but not dated.”

  “Babe, I don’t even know what the fuck that means.”

  “I’ve dated. I’ve had dates dates, not sex dates, but I have been out on dates. The point is none of those dates made it home. None of those dates made it to Sunday pancakes, let alone knew the names of my kids.” I’m sure I’m having a heart attack. This is what it must feel like to go numb and hallucinate.

  He turns me around so I’m looking up at him.
<
br />   “I’m not sure I’m happy or not with this dating dating shit. I’m happy you didn’t let anyone else in. But you have to fucking know I’m in there or better yet I’m fucking coming in. Tonight we sit down and have the ex talk, because I have to know what I’m dealing with, because, baby, I will be dealing with this shit. Then we spend the week with the kids. Next Saturday you hand them off to your ex, and I’m taking you on a date. And by that, I mean pack a bag because it’s going to be a date date. A date where I’m going to fuck you till you can’t move. It’s going to be a sleepover date where I will be fucking you the next day. So, we get through this week, then on Saturday it’s us and our date date.”

  “That sounds like a lot of...ummm...dating?”

  “Yeah, it will be. Now what time is this swimming thing?”

  “Usually around one-ish,” I say, putting my hands around his neck and lacing my fingers into his hair.

  “Okay, I’m going to go clear the table. Then we are going to sit outside and just relax till we have to go.”

  “Umm, okay.”

  “Babe, I’m going to be needing that mouth right about now.”

  Well, I’m not one to make him wait, so I lean up and give him my mouth.

  Our relaxation time consisted of Cooper kicking the soccer ball with Matthew while I gave Allison a pedicure.

  When we all loaded up into my Jeep, Cooper snagged my keys because, well, as he put it, “Babe, I’m driving.”

  Walking into Meghan and Tom’s back yard with him was a weird thing. I am so used to doing things myself that it was weird to have him carry Allison instead of me.

  What freaked me out more was Allison wanting him to carry her. Sure, he tempted her with a ‘you can ride on my shoulders,’ which to her was so much better than Mom’s arms.

  In the end it worked out because Matthew wrapped his arms around my shoulders, calling me his short stuff. All in all I couldn’t ask for more. I was, however, a little surprised by the extra kids there today. Some I recognized from the rink, especially the new dad and son that Cooper had a problem with last time.

  This should be fun.