SOMETHING SO SERIES

by Madison, Natasha

  They played mini sticks for hours, and then after dinner, Jack and Michael wanted to take a bath together. I felt that I had overstayed my welcome, but Shirley just beamed with happiness. “He’s never had such a good friend before,” she said to me while Jack and Michael played Tonka trucks.

  “He’s a great kid,” I told her, looking at him, and she just put her hand on mine.

  “He’s going to be okay,” she said to me, making my heart stop as I stood up straight. “I feel it.”

  After bath, I quickly read them both a story while I lay in Jack’s bed and heard them moan and complain when I said there would be no sleepovers. I bundled Michael in my arms as we got into the Uber to go back to my loft where we built a fort in my bed and finally fell asleep.

  “Denise,” Shirley says, looking over at me. “Thank you for taking them to the movies for me,” she says. When I got up and was making breakfast, Jack called again and asked if we wanted to go watch a movie. I bit the bullet for both of us and took them.

  “Thank you for meeting us at the park,” I tell her, smiling.

  “Let’s hope the fresh air tires them out a bit,” she says, and then her phone rings and she holds it up, seeing it is Zack.

  “Hey, son,” she says. “Look, Jack, Dad is on the FaceTime, and he’s in his uniform.”

  “Hi, Dad, we are going to watch the game and eat popcorn,” he tells him while looking at him. “We got buckets from the movie this afternoon.”

  “Did you?” he says, and I sit here, hoping she turns the phone just a bit so I can get a glimpse of him. I’ve been in his house for the past two days, and even if he hasn’t been here, I smell him everywhere.

  “Michael and I are making forts for the game,” he tells his father, and then she finally turns the phone our way, and I see him smile when he sees Michael and then his eyes find mine and his smile grows a bit wider.

  “It feels like I’ve taken over your mother’s visit,” I tell him.

  “I’m sure she is loving every second of it either way,” he says and then she turns the phone away to talk to him again. The call is short as he has to get on the ice soon. He tells her he will be home at around one-ish.

  “Okay, rugrats,” I say, getting up from my stool and carrying my plate to the sink. “You have one hour before the puck drops, and I want pjs on.” They both get off their stools, bringing me their plates.

  “Was it delicious?” I ask them when they hand me the empty plates. “Say thank you.”

  “Thank you, Grandma,” Jack says while Michael says, “Thank you, Jack’s grandma.” She laughs at them, getting up and coming to give them both a hug.

  “It was my pleasure to cook for you two.”

  She brings me her plate, handing it to me so I can rinse it off and put it in the dishwasher. “I don’t know how my son has been doing this all alone for the past five years,” she says quietly when they go to the living room to get a car to bring in the bath.

  “Five years?” I ask, surprised.

  “Don’t get me wrong, I will always be grateful she gave me Jack, but I just wished she was more involved. She just didn’t have that motherly instinct that you have,” she says, smiling at me. “You can’t teach that; it’s embedded in you.”

  “Well, then I guess it skips a generation because my mother wasn’t born with it either,” I tell her. She reaches out to squeeze my hand while the boys yell my name. Jack still calls me Dr. Denise.

  “I’ll give them the bath. You sit and relax,” I tell her, walking upstairs to the bath. My shirt gets soaked when I pick Michael up because the towel falls and he lands all wet on me.

  “Sorry, Auntie Denise,” he says, and I just lean in and kiss his wet nose.

  “I’ll get you a shirt,” Jack says, running into what looks like a closet. He comes back with a Stingers t-shirt. “So we all match again,” he says, and I take it from him.

  “Thank you, love. Go put on your slippers so your feet don’t get cold,” I tell him as he runs back to his room to get his slippers while I dress Michael in his pajamas. When he is dressed, they go downstairs to watch the hockey game, leaving me to fold the clothes. I peel my shirt over my head, folding it and placing it in the same bag with Michael’s clothes. Pulling the shirt over my head, I’m hit with his smell right away. It is big on me and falls to the middle of my legs, the sleeves going to my elbows. I look at myself in the mirror. It’s the same shirt I was wearing, but this one just has eighteen on the front and instead of Max’s. I bring it to my nose, taking one deep inhale, and then turn to go downstairs and watch the game.

  Shirley has made popcorn, and the boys sit on the couch, watching the big screen in front of them. “There’s my dad,” Jack says while I put our bag by the door. I walk back into the living room and see that Shirley is sitting on one side of the couch with Jack in her arms. She looks up and smiles at me.

  “Sorry it took so long. I got soaked getting Michael out of the tub,” I tell her. “Jack got me one of Zack’s shirts.”

  She kisses Jack’s head and then looks back up. “It’s perfect,” she says, and we turn to watch the game. The players are just taking the ice, and the national anthem starts playing and we sing along with them. Michael is curled up in my side.

  “Jack’s grandma,” Michael says, “that’s my dad and my uncle.” He’s pointing at Max and Matthew proudly.

  She nods her head. “You’re handsome like them.” He doesn’t say anything; he just nods his head, agreeing with her.

  The game is a nail-biter as both teams push each other physically. Philly gets the first blood when one of them tries to slash Phil. Instead, his stick goes up higher than he expected, nailing Phil in the nose. His head snaps back as blood starts to trickle out. Phil skates over to the referee and shows him the blood on his fingers, getting the Philly player an extra two minutes for drawing blood.

  I see the guy skate to the bench, and by reading his lips, he isn’t a happy camper. Matthew wins the face-off in the Philly zone, passing it back to Zack, and then Zack passes it to the other defenseman who passes it in the corner to Phil. Phil passes it back to the defenseman, who slides it to Zack who is in his spot lifting his stick and burying the puck in the back of the net with a one timer.

  I throw my hands in the air, celebrating while Jack gets up on the couch, jumping over to me give me a high-five. “That’s my dad,” he tells me, and I just smile as he sits next to me. My arm goes around him, and he cuddles in close. We watch the rest of the game, and by the third period, my eyes have closed for just a second. I know I should get up and get going before it gets later, but Michael and Jack are dissecting the game. I look over at Shirley, who is lying on the couch with her eyes closed. Just for five minutes. I’ll just rest them and then we will go, I tell myself.

  I feel someone playing in my hair. Opening my eyes, I look at the person who just moved the hair from my face. “Hey,” Zack says with a smile.

  “What time is it?” I look around and see I’m on the couch lying down, spooning Jack while Michael snores from the bottom of my feet.

  “It’s a little after two,” he says, and I look into his eyes and realize that I’ve missed him. “I just sent my mom up.”

  “We must have fallen asleep watching the game,” I tell him. I get up on my elbow and look around, blinking my eyes to stay awake. “I need to get an Uber.”

  “Wow, we must really be boring.” He laughs. “It’s two a.m. You aren’t taking an Uber,” he says quietly, getting up and grabbing Michael. “I’m going to put Michael in Jack’s bed. You two can crash in there, and Jack can sleep with me.”

  I watch him walk out of the room and get up, grabbing Jack in my arms and following him upstairs. He walks out of Jack’s room and sees me holding Jack as I walk into his room. “Which side do you sleep on?” I ask him.

  “Always closest to the door,” he says, so I walk around the bed to place Jack next to the window. I grab a couple of pillows, placing it beside him.

  �
��I could go home,” I say, going to him and standing in front of him.

  “You’re wearing my shirt,” he says, his eyes roaming over me.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry. Jack gave it to me.” I’m suddenly feeling a little bit flustered. “Mine got soaked when I was giving the boys a bath.”

  “Looks better on you than me,” he says quietly.

  “I’m sorry we crashed here,” I tell him, and he moves closer to me.

  “I can’t say I’m sorry you’re here,” he tells me softly. “Not one little bit.”

  “Good night, Zack,” I say and turn to walk away from him before I climb him like a monkey in front of his son. When my hand grazes his, he wraps his fingers into mine softly, and when I look down, the tips of our fingers barely touch, but I know I felt it.

  “Good night, Denise,” he says, staring at me as I walk out. “See you tomorrow.” His voice is a whisper.

  I walk out and go into Jack’s room. Climbing into bed with Michael, I sleep surrounded by the smell of Zack.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Zack

  I hold Jack’s hand as we walk into the hospital. Today is the first step, and I’m a nervous wreck for so many reasons.

  Coming home and walking into my living room and seeing Denise and Jack spooning took me off guard. I stood there for a good five minutes just watching her sleep. Who does that? Then when I moved her hair from her face and her eyes flickered open, it took everything I had not to lean in and softly kiss her lips. Not to give in to the feelings that are lingering.

  And fuck if my chest didn’t fill with pride when she sat up and I saw her with my name on her shirt. I watched her walk into my room and put my son in bed. I stood there glued to the middle of my bedroom as she made sure my son was tucked in safe; I was glued when she came over and she turned to walk away, but my hand had a mind of its own when it reached out to hers. I don’t even know. I lay awake most of the night listening for her, longing for her.

  When I finally woke up, she was already gone. My mother said she had to take Michael home. I didn’t text her or call her, and as I stand in the elevator with Jack on my way up to see her, I feel like kicking myself.

  The doors open, and I see her at the nurses’ station, leaning over writing something in a chart. Her white lab coat on and rolled at the wrist. “Dr. Denise,” Jack says, letting go of my hand and my mother’s hand as he runs for Denise who turns and smiles at him, grabbing him in her arms.

  “Someone is smitten,” my mother says from beside me, and I just nod my head.

  “I know. He just took to her.” I turn to her and see her laughing.

  “I wasn’t talking about Jack,” she says, walking away and taking Denise into her arms for a hug.

  “It’s so nice to see you, dear,” she tells her, and Denise just smiles the whole time, holding Jack’s hand while her thumb rubs his hand.

  “You guys are right on time.” She smiles and then looks over at me. “Good morning.”

  “Hi,” I say, looking at her outfit now. She is wearing black slacks with a blue button-down silk shirt. Her black ballerina flats make the outfit. Poised and sophisticated.

  “So where is Jumping Jack?” Mallory asks, looking around the desk.

  “That’s me, Grandma,” he says, pointing at himself.

  “That name so suits you,” my mother tells him, and then she looks at Mallory. “I’m Shirley.”

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Mallory,” Mallory tells her, holding her hand out to shake it. “Now, come on, Jumping Jack. We need to get you ready.”

  She reaches out for his hand, and he takes it. “I’ll go with him,” my mother says, and I just nod my head at her as Denise smiles at her.

  “How you feeling?” she asks, putting her hands in her pockets of her lab coat.

  “Nervous, scared, anxious.” I release a big breath. “That’s just the start of it.”

  She reaches out to hold my arm, squeezing it. “I can’t even imagine, but it’s going to be okay,” she says, and I have to believe her. “Let’s go take care of business,” she says, grabbing the chart, and I follow her into the room where Zack went.

  Mallory has him on the bed, and they are taking off his top, and she puts on a hospital gown for him.

  Denise goes to sit on the rolling stool in front of the bed. “Okay, Jumping Jack,” she starts, and I see that this is the serious Denise. It was a subtle switch, but I know that she is talking to Jack the patient. “I’m going to explain what is going to happen today.” She smiles at him, and he just nods his head.

  “Mallory is going to take blood from you. It might look like a lot, and we may have to do both arms,” she says. “It might hurt a bit, but”—she leans in—“I heard you’re stronger than Daddy, so I think you’ll be okay.”

  He hangs on her every word. “After we draw the blood, we are going to send it to the lab, and they are going to work magic inside on it.”

  “Magic?” he asks, and his eyes go big.

  “Magic,” she repeats. “Once they send it back to us, you come in and we put that magic inside you.”

  “That is going to kill the cancer?” he asks, and it hits me right now at this moment that this could work, as if it can’t work. And I’ll have to hold my son’s hand while he fights this disease.

  “It’s going to try,” she says, and he looks down.

  “Jumping Jack, do you want to choose a color for the elastic band?” Mallory asks him, and I turn to walk out of the room to compose myself. Denise sees this and follows me out of the room. She sees me leaning against the wall when she walks past me and puts her hand out for me. I grab her hand, and she brings me to a small little room with a cot and two chairs.

  “Let it out,” she says, and I just look at her.

  “I could lose him.” My voice cracks. “My baby is in there, and I could lose him.” I put my hand to my chest as the tears stream down my face. “Why?” I ask her, and she doesn’t answer me because she has no words. Instead, she comes over and gets on her tippy toes and wraps me in her arms.

  I bend my head and bury it in her neck. My arms go around her waist, and the tears come; everything I’ve been keeping in, afraid to show, always having to keep my brave face on is gone. With her, I let it go.

  “I promise,” she whispers, “I will do everything in my power to make him better.” She softly rubs my head while I compose myself. “You feel better?” she asks softly.

  “How do you do that?” I don’t want to let her go, but I do it anyway as I step out of her embrace.

  “Do what?” she asks, and I see that she has her own tear marks down her face.

  “Know what to say and when to say it,” I ask her.

  She goes over to the little desk and grabs a Kleenex and wipes her eyes. “I don’t want Jack to see me like this.” She totally avoids what I just asked.

  “You’re beautiful,” I tell her, and she looks at me.

  “We should go and check on him,” she says, and I just nod at her, but I grab her hand before she walks out of the room, making her turn back to look at me.

  “Thank you,” I tell her. She just nods at me but doesn’t let my hand go as we walk back to Jack.

  “There they are,” Shirley says, looking at us and then down at our hands. Denise lets go and then walks to the side of the bed.

  “How is the patient?” She smiles at them, and Mallory looks at her.

  “We are almost done,” she says, and then Jack looks at Denise.

  “I don’t feel so well,” he says, and I see that his lips are turning a little white.

  “Mallory, get some juice.” Denise springs into action while I stand here with fear gripping me. She lowers the head of the bed and grabs a pillow to put under his legs. Mallory comes back with apple juice, and she puts the straw between his lips. “Take a sip for me, honey,” she tells him, and he does. “Little sips.”

  As he’s taking small sips, Mallory gets the sphygmomanometer out and takes his blood pressure. “Eight
y-five over sixty.”

  Denise looks over at me and my mom holding hands. “His blood pressure is low.” She looks back at Jack. “How are you feeling, honey?”

  “A little tired,” he says, and she just nods at him.

  “You just have to keep talking to me for a bit, and then if everything is okay, you can take a nap.” He takes another sip of apple juice while he lays there.

  Mallory takes his pressure again. “Normal,” she says when she finishes.

  “Okay, if you want, you can take a nap or sit up,” she tells him, and he turns on his side.

  “I want to stay here a bit,” he says, and she runs her hand over his head.

  “Okay, honey,” she says softly to him, and Mallory walks out of the room.

  “Did he eat a big breakfast this morning?” she asks me, and my mother answers.

  “He was a bit antsy, so he took a couple of bites, but not much.”

  “That could be it. But I would like to keep him a bit for observation.” She looks back at him. “And if he’s all better by the end of the day, he can go home.”

  “Whatever you think,” I say, and then Jack looks up a bit.

  “You okay, buddy?” I say, going to the bed, and he just nods his head.

  Mallory comes in with a blanket in her hands. “Look what just came out of the dryer.”

  She places the blanket on Jack, and he smiles. “It’s so warm.”

  “It is,” she says and then looks at Denise.

  “I have to go see some of the other patients. But I’ll be back,” she says, leaning over and kissing his cheek. Her eyes come up to me. “Page me if you need me.”

  “I will,” I tell her and watch her walk out the door.

  My mother walks to the side of the bed where Denise was just at and sits next to Jack, taking him in her arms. “Do you want to sleep a little?” she asks him, and he shakes his head, but his eyelids have other plans. Soon, his snoring fills the room.

  “She’s something else,” my mother says, and I sit at the end of the bed, looking at her and Jack. “When I first met her, I didn’t think much of it, but then I saw her with Jack.”